Complement
by Michele D
Summary: This is the first fanfiction I wrote. I began it in 2000 & completed it in 2002. I will mark it complete once all chapters are up. I'll be posting a few chapters at a time. Just a heads up, it is long. Starts in the future that only lives in my head (Prologue). Takes place right before & during Judgment (Part I).
1. Prologue

**Complement**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**complement** n. **1.a.** Something that completes, makes up a whole, or brings to perfection **b. **Either of two parts that complete the whole or mutually complete each other

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Prologue – Lilydale**

The old woman spread her red plaid blanket on the ground under the ancient oak tree. She placed her basket on top of the blanket and took out a bottle of wine and a corkscrew. With an agility and dexterity that belied her ninety-seven years, she spun the corkscrew between her fingers like it was a drumstick, and finished the motion by uncorking the wine. She sat down upon the blanket and carefully placed the wine bottle down next to her. _No point in spilling good wine,_ she thought to herself.

She looked up through the branches at the bright, cloudless sky and thought idly to herself that she had picked a good day for her picnic. A gentle breeze blew her hair, which had long since gone pure white, around her face. With hands that were wrinkled and spotted with age. Hands that were surprisingly steady and deceptively strong, she tucked the stray locks behind her ears.

She had picnicked often throughout the years under the massive oak. You could find her out here at least once a month. This was, however, the first time she had been here since she had brought her lover out here almost six months ago. She knew the others that lived on five-hundred acre ranch with her were worried about her. But the young always had a tendency to fret over the old. She expected that, they believed like she did when she was their age. That the old were pretty much helpless and could no longer take care of themselves. Then again, she never imagined she would ever even come close to the age she was now.

She knew that their worries were more than about her being old, she had been old for quite some time now. What worried them was the sadness they saw behind her smiles, the sorrow they heard echoed in her laughter that even in the darkest of times had never been there. So, they fretted, fussed, and worried over her like a bunch of mother hens. It was endearing and she loved them all for it, though there were times, if she was honest with herself, that it annoyed the hell out of her!

She poured herself a glass of wine, and raised it in a silent toast to her family. She rested her back against the tree and for just a spilt second felt as ancient as it. In her heart though she would always be the passionate, stubborn, charming, cocky young woman she once was. She sighed and shook her head as if to clear the cobwebs from it, and gazed over at her family. They were all here now, every one of them.

She paused briefly when she came to Anya, and smiled. It was her they had to thank for the beautiful sprawling ranch. Who knew that beneath the breast of the ex-vengeance demon beat the heart of a financial wizard? The investments she had made for all of them had made them all wealthy beyond their wildest dreams. In the way that all of them came to think of as _Anyaspeak_, she demanded that they give her money to invest, which they finally did when they tired of hearing her ask over and over again. They also gave in to help save poor Xander's sanity, from her constant questions as to why no one trusted her with their money. When she showed them their first returns, it was with an _'I told you so'_ smirk on her face, and a hand out for more money to invest. After that, they never questioned her again, and eventually she became the manager for all their portfolios. Together they had all bought the five-hundred acres of land, and had all eventually built homes and settled here.

The old woman continued her lazy inspection of them, coming at last to her lover. The woman who had brought such joy to her life, pain, sorrow, laughter, love and every other emotion in the spectrum. They had taught each other things about themselves that they hadn't imagined possible. There was a time when all they had been able to do was bring out the worst in each other. They had eventually figured out though, that they brought out the best in each other too. They were after all the _Chosen Two._

They had done the impossible, something no other Slayer had ever done. They had loved, laughed, argued, and had children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren. They had built a home, a life with each other, and their family of friends. They had lived, and grown old together, despite all the odds, and those damn pesky prophecies. They had found their soul mate in each other's arms. Their strength and support came from each other, and in the form of their family of friends. Together they were strong, and with their family of friends, they were unstoppable. Most of all they had loved and been loved in return by each other, and by the friends who became more than that, had become their family.

How could they have not beaten the odds? The old woman thanked the Powers That Be every day for this, for giving them, her, all of them a second chance.

The old woman leaned her head back against the tree and let the peace and tranquility of this place surround and soothe her. Here, in the private cemetery, where all of her loved ones were laid to rest, the old woman who was now just the _Chosen One_, closed her eyes and let herself remember.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**...some think it is so haunting ~ to be drawn to the cemetery ground ~ as we ~ God's acre is a fenced in ~ hollow ground -10,000 Maniacs**

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	2. I - Inside Your Head

**I – Inside Your Head**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...and the nights grow colder ~ and the days get older ~ and the nights grow colder ~ so many times i thought of giving up better luck this time things aren't gonna be this way ~ and everything i felt from my heart from the start i knew it then i didn't have the strength to say ~ turn around to the sound of the voice that you're flowing to it's inside your head ~ if i said that i would then i could and i shouldn't lie cause i'd end up dead ~ looking up all my life but i just saw the sky i couldn't look beyond myself to realize ~ that the pain you come from is the pain you go through and you will do anything you can until you...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She was pacing back and forth in the small cell; she had too much energy and no way to release it. Too much time to think, to remember, to hate herself.

_Fuck! What the hell did I think this was going to be a trip to Disneyland?_

Faith sighed and threw herself down on the bed. It had been four months since she had turned herself in. She had been convicted of one assault and battery charge and given an eighteen-month jail term, eligible for parole in eight. She had been sentenced as a juvenile, which her idiot lawyer was ecstatic about. The felony murder charge was pending the outcome of a D.A. Investigation. She didn't understand why they needed to investigate, why they just couldn't take her at her word.

_Good one, take the self-confessed murderer at her word, hmm._

She knew she belonged here, so what the hell was taking them so long to figure it out? What else did they need from her; she had given them a confession. Did they want it in blood? She would gladly give it to them; all they needed to do was ask.

_Ask and ye shall receive,_ she thought inanely to herself.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, this would have been so much easier if they had just killed her, or she had killed herself. Always looking for the easy way out, eh Faith?_

But, she was tired of it, of always running. Never taking responsibility for her actions, of hiding, of being alone, of wanting to be someone other than who she was. She wanted to be that person who had chosen not to get on the plane but rather go help the people who were trapped by vampires in the church when she was in Buffy's body. So when B had said jail, she had jumped at the chance, her chance at changing, choosing to also believe in Angel when he said she could change. He had said it would be hard, painful, and he hadn't been lying.

For once in her worthless life she desperately wanted to make things right, do the right thing, and she felt good about the decision. If it meant the only way she could do it was by spending the rest of her life behind prison walls, well, then that's what she would do. Whatever it took. She wanted to find redemption, she wanted to be able to someday look at her reflection in the mirror and not feel hate. Running, taking her own life or trying to get someone else to do it for her were no longer options she even considered.

_Just what the hell was taking those idiots down at the D.A.'s office so long?_ Faith wondered once again.

Her court appointed lawyer had given her the spiel about the wheels of justice turning slowly, when she had asked him that question two weeks ago. He tried to encourage her, telling her not to worry, let him take care of everything. She had to suppress the urge to throttle him every time he came to see her. He was unable to accept the idea that she didn't want to get out of this, that she deserved this. She told him she didn't need or want a lawyer. As a minor however, the courts didn't give her that option, so she was stuck with him whether she liked it or not. In the meantime, she remained in L.A. County Jail, lucky her they didn't have any room for her at the juvenile detention center. Actually, she had been glad they weren't putting her there, she didn't think she belonged anywhere near children, regardless that quite a few of them had committed worse crimes than herself.

She got up from the cot that was a sorry excuse for a bed, and started pacing again. Too much time to think, too many images from her past came back to haunt her. She spent some of her free time in the gym lifting weights and using the punching bag, trying to expend some of her excess energy. But she couldn't go full out, it would raise too many questions that she would be unable to answer. She missed training with B.

_Not going there, need to stay far away from there._

Images of her last encounter with Buffy invaded her mind. Bringing with them the pain and loss she had experienced. She had little doubt that she could ever make things right between them, or any of the Scooby Gang for that matter. Her only saving grace over the last four months had come in the form of a two-hundred-plus-year-old vampire with a soul. Angel had forgiven her.

He understood where she was coming from, what she was trying to do, and had been trying to help her. It was still tough going but she had the desire to change, and he was sincere in his effort to help her. He often told her, _'We'll get through this together.'_ He would talk to her about what was happening on the outside, bringing her magazines and such, in order to keep her up to date. This way, when the day came and she got to leave this place, she wouldn't feel so out of place. Faith would just smile a sad smile at him when he talked about her leaving here.

She never thought about it, didn't believe it would ever happen, didn't believe there would ever be a place for her on the outside. In her heart, she believed she was where she was supposed to be, where she was always meant to be. If the truth be told, even though with all her heart she wanted to change, wanted to find redemption, she didn't truly believe it was possible.

She stopped pacing and leaned up against the bars of her cell looking out into the common room. Glaring at her from across the way was Ridge. Faith had definitely made an enemy in her.

_Wicked, something I'm good at,_ she thought with a self-depreciating chuckle.

Ridge, as it turned out, was Faith's most persistent suitor, in fact, was now her only one. Faith had been approached by a few of the inmates, some looking for friendship, others looking for something more. She had no desire to befriend any of the inmates, and none of the inmates even came close to interesting her in any other way. In any case, her standard practice of _'Get some, get gone,'_ would be a little hard to pull off in jail, there wasn't anywhere to _'get gone'_ to.

Some inmates had taken _'no'_ for an answer and never asked again. The other inmates that hadn't given up so easily dropped their suit when Ridge let it be known that she had her own plans for Faith. Their fear of Ridge outweighed their lust for Faith. Not too long ago, Faith might have been attracted to Ridge.

Ridge was taller than Faith, her hair was long and jet-black, her body well-muscled and slim, her eyes an intense gray, her mouth was generous and seemed to be in a perpetual pout. It wasn't so much her looks that would have attracted Faith, but more her bad girl attitude, the air of danger around her, and the knowledge that she was a _don't-play-by-the-rules, live-on-the-edge, anything-goes_ kind of girl. Faith no longer wanted or needed anyone in her life like that anymore. The only woman she wanted in her life was forever out of her reach. A part of her still couldn't help but wish, if only, maybe someday.

_Get real girl, like her first choice would be a psychopathic super-bitch, whore, murderer!_

Against her will, her thoughts started to stray down that familiar path.

_Not good, not good._

Faith felt the pain rush up in her, for the pain she had caused **_her_**, for trying to steal **_her_**life, for making **_her _**a victim. Pain for all that she had for the asking and had lost, had pretty much thrown away. She couldn't do this right now, not while Ridge was standing there watching her. She didn't know if she ever could. She needed to do something besides think, needed to release the energy. She didn't feel like practicing her Tai-Chi, didn't want to meditate about the thoughts that had been going through her head. She changed quickly into a pair of gym shorts and sports top and went out to the yard to work out for the second time that day.

Faith had only been outside for a little over ten minutes when she saw Ridge come towards the gated section of the yard that served as the _gym_. As usual right behind her were _Ridge's Girls_, the nickname that the other inmates had bestowed upon the women who were always with her. Ridge found it amusing so the nickname had stuck.

Trying to appear casual Faith finished a series of kicks to the body bag and grabbed her towel. She was hoping to get out of the _gym_ and back to her cell before Ridge had a chance to approach her. Her senses were tingling and she was getting a very bad feeling. Her intuition was proven right when she saw Ridge casually leaning her frame against the exit, effectively blocking her retreat. As if that wasn't bad enough Faith noticed that the guards that were usually present in the yard had mysteriously disappeared.

She walked over to the exit gate, careful to keep her expression neutral, her tone even, and said, "Excuse me."

"Oh, did you want to get by?"

"Yes."

"What do we say?" Smirked Ridge, while Faith looked at her with a _you've got to be kidding me look_.

Suppressing the urge just to knock the woman into Tuesday, Faith kept her tone even and said, "Please".

"Hmm, I changed my mind, not really what I want, let's see... Think I'd prefer something else."

_How about I let you keep your fucking face in one piece! Prefer that?_ Faith thought.

"Something else?" said Faith, playing dumb.

"Yeah, something else," husked Ridge, she lifted a finger and caressed Faith's bottom lip.

Faith's insides cringed in revulsion at the touch and she snapped her head back. She felt anger creeping up the back of her neck, and she fought the urge to put a serious hurting on Ridge. The Rogue Slayer knew she could do it. What scared her was that she wanted to, almost needed to. The dark side of her was jumping up and down in joy at the thought.

_I control me. The darkness, the rage, do __**NOT**__ control me!_ she started repeating over and over in her head.

Faith's thoughts raced back to when Angel had first taught her that damn mantra. She had laughed right in his face.

_'What kind of stupid shit is that Soul-boy? That's supposed to work. Riiiiiiiight...'_ she had scoffed.

_'Try it,'_ was his only answer.

The next time she felt her dark side rise up in her and try to take control, she thought, _'What the fuck,'_ and found much to her surprise, that the mantra seemed to help her gain some control.

_'You were right Soul-boy the dumb mantra worked,'_ she mumbled at him embarrassed on his next visit. He then began to explain to her that the purpose of the mantra was to teach her to find her center, and to learn how to find her focus. Without her knowing, he was beginning to teach her the basic principles of the ancient art of Tai Chi. Over the four months she had been here, he had been teaching her little by little the movements, meditations and exercises of the art. He helped her begin to understand that her dark side would always be with her, but like him, she needed to learn how to control and tame it.

She was still in the early stages of learning control and she really hadn't been tested at any serious level yet.

_Looks like there's a surprise quiz today, _she thought, as she consciously sought to regain her self-control, visualizing the anger going from red to blue.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Faith murmured quietly, careful to keep the loathing out of her voice. Her best option now was to push Ridge out of the way and run like hell back to her cell, she had lost her desire to hurt the other woman. That was until she felt the shank pressing lightly up against her rib cage.

"Guess we are going to have to do this my way," Ridge gave her a smile that left no doubt in Faith's mind that she preferred it this way. "I still get what I want and in the end you'll do what I say."

Faith didn't react; all her effort was going to controlling the anger that was once again pounding through her veins. She was desperately maintaining her control by a thin thread.

Ridge reached out quickly and painfully grabbed Faith's breast and pressed the shank into her with just enough pressure to break the skin and draw blood. The thin thread snapped and the rage streaked through Faith's veins like molten lava. Her demon, her dark side took over.

Almost as if it were happening in slow motion, she saw, felt herself push, bend, grab the wrist with the shank and sweep Ridge's feet out from under her. Holding the arm with the shank out and away from her she allowed the momentum of Ridge's falling body to carry her down with her. Straddling the other woman, Faith leaned down and snarling whispered in her ear, "Fuck you bitch, not gonna happen, ever again."

A shutter went through Ridge as she looked into Faith's cold, deadly eyes.

Faith started applying pressure to Ridge's wrist, she dimly heard through the buzzing in her head the shank fall from the woman's numb hand. She smiled a feral smile and with a deliberate final squeeze broke her wrist. Faith watch the rage in the other woman's eyes turn to pain.

The dark side of her was urging her on, relishing the pain it was causing, inciting her to cause more. It pleaded, it begged, it wanted blood, no it _needed_ blood. It was screaming, yelling, in her head, demanding to be unleashed. Behind the din, Faith heard another voice speaking to her softly. Reminding her what it was she wanted. Reminding her of the pain she had caused. Reminding her of the other path she could take.

The darkness in her tried to drown out the quiet voice, and it was winning. She felt herself wanting to let it out, to take the easy way, let herself let go of the pain, the remorse, the guilt. The quiet voice reminded her gently of words Angel had spoken to her, _'All that pain, all that suffering you caused is coming back on you. Feel it! Deal with it! Then maybe you've got a shot at being free.'_

Free, oh god, she desperately wanted to be free, so she let herself feel the pain. She heard the darkness inside of her howl in defeat, and fade away.

As if waking from a deep sleep, Faith blinked her eyes rapidly, and let go of Ridge's wrist. Slowly she rose to her feet. She kicked the shank out of the other woman's reach, and looked down at her. She recoiled from the pure hatred she saw in Ridge's eyes.

"This ain't over bitch!" Ridge hissed at her through clenched teeth. Faith ignored her and started to cross the yard towards the door that led inside the prison. She heard the other women run up to Ridge, and heard Ridge mumble that Faith had just gotten lucky, but she wouldn't be so lucky next time.

The first blow of the baton across her shoulders caught her by surprise, and brought her to her knees. She rolled, coming quickly back up to her feet, and turned around. She started backing up. She saw the two guards who had been mysteriously missing cautiously approaching her with their batons raised. She saw Ridge get up and start to come towards her and the guards, a smile on her face.

Ridge lick her lips in what was almost sensuous anticipation of the beating that the guards without a doubt intended to give Faith. Faith could see the exhilaration, the joy in Ridge's eyes at the thought of her coming pain. In that moment, Faith saw her own dark side reflected in Ridge's face. The thought that there was a part of her like that revolted and sickened her and she stopped backing up. She closed her eyes, and waited for the blows to come.

Repeatedly they came, bringing her to her knees, knocking her to the ground. She curled herself into a ball and used her arms to protect her head. She could hear heavy breathing and smell the arousal coming from the guards and Ridge. She bit her lip drawing blood, refusing to give them the satisfaction and pleasure of hearing her scream out in pain, as the blows continued to rain down on her.

After what felt like an eternity, the guards stopped, unable to raise their batons any longer. She heard someone approach her, and felt a foot on her shoulder. She was slowly pushed onto her side; she raised her eyes, struggling to stay conscious. Ridge was smiling down at her, her breathing labored, her face flushed from her arousal.

"Like I said, this ain't over, the fun has barely begun." She drew back her foot and kicked Faith hard, breaking at least two of her ribs. Faith passed out from the pain.

She had no idea how long she remained unconscious. When she woke, the pain hit her like a tidal wave, making her head spin. Taking deep agonizing breaths, she pushed down the nausea, and somehow managed to sit up. Waiting for the spinning to stop again, she slowly regained her feet. She forced herself to stand up straight. Taking small slow steps, she made her way to her cell. As she walked through the common room, she heard the other inmates whispering about her.

"Not so high 'n mighty, now."

"Ya think Ridge will let me have her when she's done with her?"

"Black and blue seems to be her color"

"Yeah I hear Ridge likes to keep 'em that color"

"Think she'll share her like the others?"

The voices began to blur together, as she felt the dizziness come over her again. She prayed that she would make it back to her cell before she passed out. She quickened her pace and willed herself to ignore the pain. She entered her cell wanting nothing more than to crawl on her cot, but the need to check her injuries came first. Jaw clenched, she wrapped her ribs as best as she could, quietly moaning in pain. She ran her hands over the rest of her body and was relieved nothing else seemed to be broken. She was going to be in pain for days. She crawled onto her cot; her body exhausted, and lost the struggle to stay awake as the blackness claimed her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She woke to the sound of one of the guards calling her name.

"Whatthefuck? Leave ME alone!"

"Whatever, I'll tell him you're out."

"What?" She tried to clear her head, but it was throbbing and not a part of her body didn't hurt.

"You have a visitor."

"A visitor?" She had forgotten Angel was visiting today. How the hell was she going to explain this? She didn't want to open this door, he had learned to read her too well. She had no doubt that he would see that there was more to this than just her objecting to being someone's bitch. He would know this went deeper, would see things she herself had been refusing to see for years.

"Would you like me to spell it for you?" The guard asked sarcastically.

"No, no, I'll be right there." Faith rose from the bed and pain shot through her like a jolt of electricity. She bit down hard on her lip to keep herself from groaning out-loud. She could not show any weakness. She could feel the vultures here just waiting for a chance to pounce. Trying to walk as normal as possible she followed the guard to the visitors room. She smiled when she saw Angel at one of the booths waiting for her.

_Me and Soul-boy friends, who'da thought it?_

"Hey," he said when she picked up the phone.

"Hey."

"How are you doing?"

"Pretty good, I guess. I did sign up for this."

"Regretting the choice?"

"Bad day. One of the girls in the yard tried to build a rep by throwing down with me. She had low self-esteem, and a home-made knife." Not quite the truth, but close enough.

"Oh. - Is she – you know – alive?" Almost afraid to ask.

"She lives to tell the tale... Took a big beating from the guards too," Faith told him with a grimace.

"Sorry"

"Earned worse. Guys like us kind of got it coming." In truth, she thought she deserved worse, she could put up with anything they dished out to her, but they would have to kill her before she became anyone's bitch.

_Been there, done that._

Angel knew she was holding something back, he didn't push, when she was ready she would tell him, instead he said, "I had to sing Barry Manilow..."

They talked until visiting hours were over. He told her he would bring her the meditation and Tai Chi books next time, he had finally finished translating them for her. Angel left feeling relieved and a little bit of pride at her progress. Like she had said, she could have killed the other woman but she didn't. He knew she had wanted to, had probably come close. But like she had said, _'The road to redemption is a rocky path.'_

"That it is." He knew the road well, had been on it for a long time himself.

"You think we might make it?" She looked at him earnestly.

He smiled, "We might." And for the first time he felt a little bit of hope for them both.

Faith woke the next morning, in serious pain. There wasn't a part of her body that didn't hurt. Still, she felt rested, hell, she felt good. For the first time since Allan, she had slept without nightmares. She immediately felt guilty, she had considered the nightly terrors part of her punishment. She was a little afraid that without them she would forget about the life she took. The pain she had caused.

_How fucked up is that?_ Faith wondered. She was missing something here though, what was it?

It began to slowly dawn on her, she had made a choice yesterday, she chose not to take a life. It would have been so easy; she had nothing left to lose. She had already lost everything, everyone she held dear. Okay, there was still Soul-boy; but even if she had killed Ridge, he would of still been there for her, she knew that, and yet she still hadn't taken Ridge's life. She had seen the look of surprise on his face when she had told him the other woman still lived. For the first time in her fucked up life she had done the right thing, not because she was trying to prove it to anyone, but because it was right. Granted she hadn't needed to break Ridge's wrist, but she had regained control. She had reined herself back in, where before she never could.

Faith felt a small spark of hope ignite in her, she felt like she could really do this, like she could stop fucking up, could really change, prove them wrong, prove herself wrong. Until this moment, she really hadn't truly believed it was possible, but now, oh god she was starting to believe in the impossible!

The rest of the week went by quickly. Visiting day came and went, Angel had brought her the books like he promised, he taught her a few more Tai Chi exercises, and corrected some of her movements. On Friday, her lawyer came to let her know that he had started an appeal of her conviction on the assault and battery charge, and the trail date had been set for four weeks from Monday. He seemed optimistic that they would be able to get the conviction overturned. If they did, since she was now eighteen, which meant she wasn't a ward of the state anymore, she would be a free woman. At least until they decided finally to file the felony murder charge.

She wanted to throttle him, she ranted at him, what gave him the right she asked? He let her know it was his job and technically, she was stuck with him because she had been minor at the time. She tried once again to convince him she didn't want to get off, didn't think she should ever get out, and that she belonged here. God, he was dense! He just smiled at her, ignored her and continued blabbing.

Whatever, fuck him, he was an idiot anyway, they wouldn't be able to ignore her once she was in court. She had no doubt that she would be able to convince the Judge that she was psychotic and it would be in the best interest of the State of California to deny the appeal. Just accept her guilty plea, lock her up and throw away the key.

Despite or in spite of her revelation earlier in the week she was still completely convinced that she belonged here. Whether she changed her ways or not, Faith believed that the path to redemption for her lay along the road that kept her behind bars.

Another week passed by, Angel's visit came and went. She had spent most of it reading about Tai Chi, practicing the meditations, and exercises of the ancient art. She found Tai Chi helped to calm the turmoil in her, and kept her focused on her goals. The rest of her time was spent in the gym, always making sure that there were other women present when she worked out. She kept her eyes focused on the outer yard's door; this would leave her plenty of time to escape the gated gym should it look like a confrontation was heading her way.

Being a Slayer, she already possessed inhuman strength, but no one would have known that. Before she had been lean, slim, and didn't look like she could hurt a fly, let alone a person. However, now with all the hours spent working out, she was cut, ripped and lean. Her muscles rippled when she moved, she had a six-pack for a stomach, each muscle clearly defined.

The panther-like quality Faith had always exuded when she moved was now even more pronounced. The other inmates made a wide path around her now, and she supposed it was in part the muscle and in some sick way the throw down with Ridge. She had been tense in the last two weeks waiting for some kind of retaliation from Ridge, but none had come. Perhaps the head case had learned her lesson and would leave her alone. Perhaps for once, something worse wouldn't come from her actions, perhaps for once she would get lucky.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It was Sunday and most of the inmates were at the church services the jail provided. Faith decided it was a good time to take a shower. When she entered the large open shower room, and saw it was empty, she gave a soft sigh of relief. She really wasn't into the whole community shower thing, the way the other women looked at her just made her skin crawl, leering like a bunch of dirty old men, she could feel their lust for her, and it brought up too many bad memories from her childhood.

_Nonotgoingtheresonotgonnagotheredon'twannawon'tnoway!_

She moved quickly to the far corner of the room, wrenching her thoughts away from the unbidden memories. She wasn't ready to deal with that shit, didn't know if she could ever deal with that shit. Better to leave it buried, hidden away, her ugly secret. She turned the water on full blast, adjusting the temperature to scalding. She leaned into the shower, supporting herself by putting her hands against the tile wall.

She let the water cascade over her, beating a hard tempo on her head and shoulders. She took a deep cleansing breath, glad that her ribs were finally healed, and cleared her mind of the disturbing images that came with the memories of her childhood. Instead, she thought about Angel, he had been so good to her over the last four and a half months. Who would have thought that when she had tried to kill him, then tried to get him to kill her, that he would be the one to help her find the courage to live. That she, a Slayer no less, one of the Chosen Two - _No not anymore, not ever again_ - would be learning from a vampire. How to heal herself, how to find redemption, salvation, to try and heal the pain she had caused others. To fight and win against the darkness that lay within her.

She knew she still had a very long way to go, but every day it got easier to control her dark side. The little spark of hope that started the day after her throw down with Ridge had brighten a little more each day.

She grabbed the shampoo, which she hated with a passion, it smelled like disinfectant, and lathered her hair. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax under the soothing spray of the shower. She let her thoughts drift, and her guard down.

Faith sensed them a second too late. They body slammed her into the wall. Her head hitting the tile with a sickening crack, her knees buckling, and she felt blood pouring from the gash in her head as she started to slide down the wall. They slammed her again, her head once more crashing into the wall. Her thoughts jumbled, she wasn't sure if she was actually conscious anymore. Dimly she heard, "Let the fun begin."

She came down hard on her knees, a blow landed on the back of her head, a kick to her ribs, and the pain came screaming at her. There were too many of them, they beat her face first into the floor, and kept beating her, as she lay in a pool of her own blood unable to protect herself. There was too much screaming in her head, her dark side screamed for blood. The child in her screamed in terror, sure of what was to come, until her mind and body could not handle anymore and slipped into the quietness of the abyss.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The ice-cold water shocked her awake. She was on her back, her mind was barely functioning, pain ripped through her, she was confused, disoriented, not even sure where she was.

She was in jail wasn't she?

Or was she home at her Mom and Johnny's?

Someone was bending over her - _Who was it?_ - she couldn't see clearly and her eyes burned.

Was it Ridge?

Johnny?

Why did she hurt so much, she had been good, hadn't she, she hadn't done anything wrong, or had she?

A voice whispered in her ear, "Time to play little girl, be good or daddy will have to let the other kids play some more."

She felt a hand - _Ridge? Johnny?_ - on her stomach, felt it start to slide down towards the junction between her legs. Her legs were pulled apart roughly.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Faith screamed. The adrenaline rushing through her, forcing down the pain, and her Slayer instincts took over.

She pulled the hand away from her body and pushed its owner away from her hard. She rolled to her side and was on her feet before the other women could even react. The dark side in her tried to take control, but it was no longer the strongest part of her. Instead, a quiet voice, the voice that was the _'Faith'_ that Faith always wanted to be, spoke to her, calming the blood lust.

She saw through eyes blurred with shampoo and blood, a punch coming towards her, she blocked the punch and kicked the woman away from her. They kept coming at her, there were six of them, two she was almost sure were the guards from the yard, and one she knew was Ridge.

She blocked their punches, and kept kicking them away, but not seriously hurting any of them. She didn't know how much longer she was going to be able to keep standing or remain conscious, the pain was beginning to creep back in. She made it halfway across the shower room after knocking them away from her once again, and hoped they wouldn't come at her again. She took one more staggering step towards the door when Ridge tackled her from the side.

They fell to the ground, Faith's head hitting the floor hard. Using what little strength she had left Faith broke Ridge's hold on her and rolled away. She was on her stomach trying to rise when Ridge kicked her in the side knocking her over onto her back.

Ridge landed on top of her knocking the air from her lungs. She grabbed Faith by the hair and began to slam her head against the tile floor, while continuing to punch her in the face with her other hand. Faith tried blocking the punches, but her movements were beginning to become sluggish as she tried to stay conscious, she knew if she didn't get Ridge off her soon she would die.

In a last ditch effort she tried to push the larger woman off her. She threw her hands up and out at the other woman, but her vision was blurred, her aim off, instead she connected with Ridge's cheekbone, breaking it and splitting it open. Her other hand landed a blow to Ridge's nose, breaking it too and knocking her out.

Ridge's blood gushed down over Faith's hands and face. Pushing Ridge off her, she got up from the floor, and through blurry eyes saw the other five women backing away from her. She stood on wobbly legs, pain ripping through her, the blood from the gash on her forehead dripping into her eyes. She raised her hands to wipe her eyes, that's when she saw the blood on them.

**_Blood_**, oh my god, there was blood on her hands. She frantically looked around, and saw Ridge lying in a pool of her own blood. She had killed her, she had killed someone again, and the blood, so much blood all of it on her hands. Whimpering she fell to her knees, screaming, **_'OHGODNO'_**over and over in her head.

She didn't hear as the other guards rushed into the shower room.

She didn't hear as one of the two guards that attacked her told them she came after them.

She didn't hear the guard who told her to lay down on her stomach and put her hands behind her head.

She didn't hear one of the guards approach her cautiously with baton raised.

She didn't hear as the baton came rushing down towards her.

All she heard was the voice screaming in her head.

The pain woke her from her forced slumber. She was curled up in a fetal ball on the floor in solitary confinement. She could feel the blood caked in her hair and on her face. She wasn't sure but she thought her ribs might be broken again, but it was hard to tell with all the other pain. Her thoughts were still jumbled from what was probably a serious concussion. She remembered going to take a shower yesterday, she remembered getting jumped, fighting back, being careful not to hurt anyone, and then she remembered the blood.

More blood on her hands, she had killed someone again, she hadn't meant to, she had been trying not to. She had fucked up again, stupid, stupid, stupid! God, she was so stupid to think she could change, she could never change!

She raged and screamed at herself in her mind. She raised her hands up and looked at the blood on them in the dim light of the cell. So much blood, there was layers and layers of it on her hands. Ridge's, Allan's, her Watcher's, her Mother's, how much more would there be? How many more would she kill by accident, how many more times would she fuck up? She had to get it off, needed to get it off!

She looked around frantically for the sink, there wasn't one, why wasn't there one? How was she going to get the blood off, it was starting to burn her skin, she had to get it off!

She started rubbing her hands up against the rough cement wall of the cell. She pressed them harder against the wall, scraping the dried blood from her hands, causing welts to rise up on the backs and then the palms of her hands. But it still wasn't coming off!

She started to claw at the blood with her nails, more and more frantically. She kept at it until both her hands were covered in deep gashes that even with her Slayer healing would still scar. Still it was there. She would never be able to get it off, it would never go away.

Obsessed she kept clawing at it until her hands were covered in her own blood, but she could still feel theirs. She was overwhelmed by it and her mind just shut down. She retreated to a far corner of it, caught in a nightmare that consisted of only the blood on her hands.

For twelve days, Faith remained in solitary confinement; neither food nor water was given to her. They wanted to break her, make her think twice about attacking a guard again. They were expecting that like other prisoners who had been taught this lesson, she would eventually beg for food, for water. She disappointed them. After three days, they decided to add a little something to the lesson plan.

Faith stayed huddled in the corner of her cell, still trapped in her own mind. The only thing that mattered to her was getting the blood off her hands. Her nails were broken, her fingertips raw and ripped open, and blood dripped slowly from the gashes and scrapes almost nonstop. She didn't hear the guards enter the cell. She didn't even realize they were the same ones from the yard and the shower, Cameron and Troy. They spoke to her and she ignored them until a baton smashed into her arm. She raised dead eyes to them. They told her to stand up, she tried but her legs were too stiff and weak to support her. They told her to get up again, and to ensure she heard them the baton came down across her shoulder.

She tried unsuccessfully to rise, her body trembling, still recovering from the injuries received in the shower room. They repeated their request and when she was unable to comply, they hit her again, and so it continued until either their arms grew too tired to raise their batons again, or Faith slipped into unconsciousness.

For nine days, the guards came into her cell to teach the Dark Slayer a lesson. She deserved this, she was evil, she had killed again. Her own guilt over all the others had overridden the fact that she had only struck back in self-defense. Had her mind been clearer at the time she would have realized that she had not hit Ridge with enough force to kill her.

Each of those nine days Faith waited for them, in her mind this was part of her punishment for the blood on her hands. Waited for the oblivion to claim her where the blood and pain mercifully could not reach her.

They came for her on the twelfth day and dragged her from the cell. They threw her under the spray of a cold shower, and told her to wash. She struggled to get to her feet, but in the end they had to help her, she was too weak from the beatings, the lack of food and the dehydration, to even wash herself. They had to dress her, and that was when Cameron noticed her hands.

"What the fuck? What the fuck did you do to your hands scumbag?" Cameron asked Faith roughly.

Faith didn't respond.

"Shit we need to take her to see the Doc. Fuck!" The two guards half dragged, half carried the Slayer to the infirmary. When the Doctor saw Faith's hands, he had to choke back the bile that rose up in his throat. He didn't even know where to start, there were too many gashes, scrapes, and welts on her hands. He cleaned them up and wrapped them in gauze. He turned around to get a pain pill for the girl, by the time he turned back Faith had the bandages removed, and was once more clawing at her hands.

They had to restrain her, weakened as she was she struggled against them. Her shirt came off her shoulder and the Doctor saw the bruises and contusions, both fresh and healing. He said nothing to the guards; he knew the marks were from them, not another inmate.

They finally managed to get Faith restrained and sedated. The Doctor once more cleaned and bandaged her hands. He told the guards that the girl would need to stay there for at least a week, they told him he had two days and then she was due in court. He just nodded his agreement. They finally left him alone with her.

He stared down at the gaunt face and wondered how long she had been without food and water. How long had the guards been beating her? While she was still out from the drug-induced sleep, he inspected her for other injuries. He had no trouble seeing that three of her ribs were broken, sticking out from her body as they were from the lack of food. He gently wrapped them.

He was repulsed by the damage the guards had inflicted on her; there wasn't a square inch of her body that wasn't covered in bruises, his best guess being they had been beating her for at least a week. His guess would have been different had he known about her Slayer healing. He didn't know how she had managed to survive. He started an IV drip and checked to make sure she was sleeping soundly before he left her alone. He left the room and went about finding out more on his new patient. Sunday night after his shift, the Doctor made a phone call.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They escorted Faith to the courtroom. Her feet shackled, her hands cuffed in front of her. She shuffled over to the defense table, taking slow, stiff steps. Her head hung low, her eyes focused on the ground, her hair covering her face. The county issued jumpsuit she wore looked five sizes too big for her; if anyone had looked closely, they would have seen the bandages that covered her hands as she gingerly sat down on the chair wincing in pain.

Her mind was becoming clearer by the minute; the drugs the Doctor had been giving her were beginning to wear off. But there was a price, as her mind cleared the pain came, and the memory of the blood still on her hands. Keeping her hands under the table, Faith began to tear the bandages from them.

The trial began; she dimly understood they were talking about her. She heard the D.A. talking, then her idiot lawyer. No one noticed the blood that was beginning to pool on the floor by her feet. Someone spoke her name, she ignored them. She felt a hand on her shoulder and she pulled away in pain. She looked up for the first time, trying to focus on what the idiot was telling her.

Free, was he telling her she was free; they had dropped all the charges? Yes, she was free, he said, all the charges had been dropped, and the conviction overturned on appeal.

"**NO **you can't I'm **EVIL**, I killed Allan, I killed Ridge, **I KILL!**" She screamed hysterically.

The Judge turned and looked at the young girl. The bruises he saw on her face shocked and appalled him.

"Can't you see, look, can't you see the blood, it's theirs, it's all of theirs." She pleaded desperately, raising her hands to the Judge.

An unnatural quiet settled over the courtroom as they all stared in horror at Faith's raised hands. Until, the silence was broken by the sound of her blood as it dripped and splattered on the table.

"_Please, please_, you have to lock me up, _please_ before there's more blood." She whispered brokenly, as tears streamed down her face. The Judge shook himself out of his shocked stupor and started giving orders. Faith was escorted from the room and taken to a private room in the courthouse. Someone approached the Judge. They spoke privately and arrangements were made.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She was huddled and crouched down in the corner of the small room. Her eyes unfocused, her mind trapped again in the nightmare where only the layers of blood on her hands existed.

The blood she couldn't get off, couldn't scrub off, couldn't claw off.

The guilt had claimed and overwhelmed her again. They had tried to tell her that she hadn't killed Ridge. It didn't matter, there was other blood on her hands, and there would always be blood on her hands. Even now, she was trying to scrape it from her hands, unaware, uncaring of the pain, and her own blood that seeped from beneath her clawing nails.

That was how Angel found her. He was beside her in a second, crouching low and gently putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Faith. Faith, look at me," he whispered softly.

She raised her tear stained eyes to his. _Angel_ she thought, he would know what to do, he had blood on his hands too.

"Please, please, make it go away, why won't it go away?" she asked in a broken ragged voice.

"What Faith, what?"

"The blood, their blood." She showed him her hands. Her torn and shredded hands. "It won't come off, I can't get it OFF, pleaseplease help me!"

He gathered her into his arms, and felt himself crying. Crying for her, for him. He understood her pain, he understood only too well.

"Sssh now, I'll help you, it will be all right, don't worry, we'll make it better." Gently he picked her up, whispering soothing words, and carried her from the room.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Her movements were precise, graceful and fluid as she did her Tai Chi exercises. Focused, an air of tranquility and peace surrounded her. Peace, tranquility, words she thought would never be applied to her.

The exercises she performed were ancient and would probably not be recognized by most practitioners of the art; then again, it was unlikely that anyone else had a two-hundred-plus-year-old vampire with a soul as an instructor. Practicing Tai Chi had taught her how to channel her destructive energy, to release it from her. It had given her an inner peace she had never experience before and never thought she could. She still had a long way to go, there were demons from her past that she had yet to face. But, her feet were firmly planted on the right path.

Her focus drifted, and she thought of the people in her life that she had hurt. Her movements became hesitant and shaky. The guilt washed over and through her. Guilt over having taken a life, Allan's life. No matter what she did, who she was or became, she could never make it right.

Self-disgust, self-hatred, and remorse crashed into her, and for a second she could once again see the blood on her hands, the layers of blood. The urge to try and wash the blood from her hands becoming almost overwhelming.

She could hear Angel in her head, _'Focus, find your focus.'_ Using her strength of will and an amazing amount of self-control, she struggled to find her center and focus. Acknowledging to herself that the guilt was something she would always carry with her, like the metaphorical blood on her hands. She needed to focus her energies on never going down that path again and instead focus them on continuing along the path of light.

Her movements once again became precise, graceful and fluid, as an inner calm once more surrounded her. She had come a long way since the night she had turned herself in and for the first time in her life, she allowed herself to think about the future.

It was doubtful that any of the gang from Sunnydale would have recognized the woman as Faith.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...turn around to the sound of the voice that you're flowing to it's inside your head ~ if i said that i would then i could and i shouldn't lie cause i'd end up dead ~ and the nights grow colder ~ and the days get older ~ and the nights grow colder ~ it's inside your head ~ and the nights grow colder ~ and the days get older - Tantric

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	3. II - Little Earthquakes

**II - Little Earthquakes**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...yellow bird flying get shot in the wing ~ good year for hunters ~ and Christmas parties ~ and I hate and I hate and I hate and I hate elevator music ~ the way we fight ~ the way I'm left here silent ~ oh these little earthquakes ~ here we go again ~ these little earthquakes ~ doesn't take much to RIP us into pieces...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She was still numb, still couldn't believe her Mom was actually gone.

_Why?_

How was she supposed to survive without her? How was she going to take care of Dawn? She was the one who was supposed to go first; the life expectancy of a Slayer was short at best. Who was going to take care of Dawn when she was gone? It was all too much; she couldn't think straight, she needed to get out of the house, and away from the ghosts that haunted her here. But she couldn't, she had to be here when Dawn came home. Couldn't leave her little sister alone with the ghosts that she knew haunted her too.

She sat down on the couch and waited for her sister, staring into space, letting the numbness surround her. She jumped when the phone rang, and for a second wasn't even sure what the sound was.

"Hello?"

"Buffy."

"Dawn. Where are you?" She looked at the clock and saw an hour had gone by while she was sitting on the couch. Where did it go? Where had she gone?

"I'm at the Magic Shop with Willow and Tara, _canIstaytheirhousetonightplease_." Dawn rushed out.

"Um, ah, sure, if you want to, I guess."

"You sure you'll be OK?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine, try not to drive Will and Tara crazy, 'K..."

"Ok...Bye."

"Dawn...Wait!"

"Yeah?"

"Love - You, be good. I'll see you tomorrow..."

"Me too, bye Buffy..." Before she even hung up the phone, Buffy felt the need to get out of the house bearing down on her again.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She walked out into the too bright afternoon sun. She didn't have any particular destination in mind. Away was all she could think clearly. She wandered aimlessly, letting her feet take her where they willed. Two hours later, she blinked in surprise when she found herself standing outside of Angel's old basement apartment. Why here? She hadn't been here in a long time, too many bad memories and too many good.

She felt herself move forward, as if something was drawing her here. No, as if **_someone_** was drawing her here. She walked up to the door, stood on her tippy toes and felt for the key over the door. The key was still there and for some reason it didn't surprise her. She put the key in the lock, hesitated and as if against her will or perhaps a little afraid of what she might find inside, she unlocked the door.

She returned the key to its hiding spot, entered, closed and locked the door behind her._ It_ _looks the same,_ she thought as she went from room to room running her hands lightly over everything in her path. Memories of her time spent here with Angel idly drifting through her mind.

She had only been in the apartment a few minutes when she heard a noise outside. The sound of a key being inserted into the lock was unmistakable.

_Oh shit!_

She quickly ran behind the Chinese Screen in the corner of the living room and hid. Who knew what might come through the door, this was the Hellmouth after all.

She heard someone - _thing? _- enter, her Slayer senses telling her immediately that it wasn't something demonic. Briefly, she thought she should reveal herself but immediately pushed the thought aside. Her Slayer instincts again? She listened as the person crossed the room, heard a click and music start to play softly. Gregorian Chants, god she hadn't heard them since Angel had lived here.

Silently Buffy moved to the side so she could see around the screen.

_Gotta love that Slayer stealth._

The light in the apartment was dim as dusk settled upon Sunnydale. It was the time of the day that some called the _'tween hour,'_ when it was neither day nor night. The hour when the veil between the mundane and the magical was lifted and the two coexisted on the mortal plane.

Buffy was feeling the effects of the _'tween,'_ there was something so surreal about all this. Here she was, the Slayer, hiding from what she could now tell was a woman standing by the fireplace. There was something eerily familiar about her, Buffy thought, as she lazily let her eyes roam over her.

The woman was dressed in a workout top and pants. Her long dark hair flowed out from under the bandana on her head. It fell softly onto painfully thin, but what Buffy saw, were well-muscled shoulders. Buffy's gaze traveled down the other woman's back and she could see her ribcage protruding through the skin. Her eyes moved down to a waist that was far too thin, over softly rounded buttocks, to long legs.

It was almost obscene all that muscle on such an emaciated body. How was it even possible to be both at the same time? The woman's skin glowed palely; she had the look of someone who hadn't seen sunlight in a very long time. Buffy couldn't help but wonder what could have befallen the woman to have caused such deterioration.

The woman began to move in what Buffy recognized as Tai Chi. The movements she was using were the ancient ones that were no longer taught, and known by only the oldest of the art's practitioners. As Buffy watched her, she could see a blue silhouette begin to radiate from the woman - _Her aura?_ The aura expanded and Buffy felt the tranquility, calm and peace that surrounded the woman, reach out and encompass her.

She watched as the aura shimmered, the intensity of it begin to dim. The woman hesitated, her movements became jerky, and her body trembled. Buffy saw her freeze as her hands passed in front of her face. She saw her take a deep breath and within seconds, the young woman regained her focus and Buffy was once again surrounded, and cradled by the tranquility, calm and peace. The sight before her transfixed her, then the woman turned and Buffy gasped when she saw her face, the peace and tranquility shattering.

Faith turned quickly towards the screen her eyes flying open at the gasp. She knew, even before she saw her hiding there in the shadows, who it was. She had sensed her the minute she entered the apartment, but had brushed it off as her imagination. She knew from experience that no matter how much, how hard, you wished for something it very rarely came true.

For Faith, it had never come true.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"B?" she whispered softly.

_What the fuck is she doing here? And so, so fucking tranquil, serene, while MY world is falling apart around me,_ Buffy raged silently.

Buffy stood and stepped out from behind the screen. Time stood still as the two Slayers stared at each other. Buffy was stunned again by how thin Faith was. Taken aback by her gaunt, yet still beautiful face. By the calm, pain-filled haunted eyes. Her eyes trailed down to Faith's concave stomach and she saw the pale scar.

_The scar I gave her._

She wanted, almost needed to reach out and gently caress away the scar, erasing the hurt, the pain she had caused.

Faith stared at Buffy, drinking, almost drowning in the sight of her when she stepped from behind the screen. She watched as Buffy's eyes were drawn as if against her will to the knife scar on her abdomen. The constant reminder of Buffy that Faith would always carry with her. The constant reminder of _the Faith_ that she never wanted to be again. Faith wanted to cover the scar. Wanted to say it was all right, that she was _'five by five,'_ but words failed her. She saw Buffy raise her head to look at her and once again felt herself falling into those amazing eyes.

Buffy stared into the eyes of her one time friend, and her now enemy? Her emotions ran the gamut, pain, regret, sorrow, remorse, hate, all there, all mixed up. She saw Faith take a hesitant step towards her, her hand reaching out as if to touch her.

"B?" she said again, breaking the spell.

All the emotions Buffy was feeling were replaced by an icy coldness at Faith's hesitant step. She launched a flying kick at her, catching Faith squarely in the chest and knocking her to the floor. She heard Faith's head crack against the floor. She jumped on top of her and began pummeling her. She was ranting, screaming, cursing Faith, cursing god, and cursing the world as tears flowed down her face. Her punches fell but there was no real power behind them.

Faith moaned in pain as her head hit the floor.

_Fuck, why always my head? I'm gonna be brain dead if this keeps up._

A hysterical giggle almost escaped her at the absurdity of that thought given the seriousness of the situation.

_Shit my head must have hit harder than I thought._

She was stunned, she hadn't expected Buffy to attack her. Attacking first, asking questions later had been her style not Buffy's.

_FUCK, B's not supposed to know I'm here FUCKFUCKFUCK._

Faith's instincts were yelling at her to knock Buffy off her, but she ignored them. There was a small part of her that believed she deserved this. Payback for all the pain she had caused Buffy. So Faith remained unmoving and let the other Slayer take it all out on her. Her own silent tears joined that of the golden-haired Slayer.

Buffy kept pummeling Faith, until there was nothing left but the overwhelming grief. She rolled off Faith and fell to her side on the floor, wrapping her arms around herself, the sobs coming from the depths of her soul. She cried for everything, for everyone lost to her, for the ones she couldn't save, for herself, for Faith, for her Mom, for the pointlessness of it all.

"God I'm so alone," she whispered aloud, unknowingly.

Faith cautiously moved next to the sobbing Slayer. She reached out tentatively and with care gathered Buffy into her arms. At first Buffy resisted her, then turned and buried herself deeper into Faith's arms. Faith whispered words of comfort to her, letting her know she was safe, not alone, never alone. She tightened her arms around Buffy as she continued to sob.

Faith never wanted to let her go, wanted to keep her safe forever. Oh god she knew what it was like to be in this much pain, and her heart was quietly breaking for the golden-haired Slayer.

Buffy's sobs tapered off slowly. Feeling safe for the first time in god only knew how long, her body exhausted, she drifted off to sleep.

Faith gazed down at the sleeping Slayer in her arms. Had Buffy opened her eyes at that moment she would have been amazed at the depth of love coming from the eyes that looked upon her. Eyes that kept that love hidden away until there was no around to see it.

Bit by bit Faith inched herself and Buffy backwards, closer to the fireplace. She leaned back, still cradling Buffy in her arms. She gently brushed away the tears from Buffy's face. Then soothingly stroked her golden hair. Her fingers tracing a path delicately along Buffy's jawbone. She inhaled deeply the scent that was uniquely Buffy, letting it fill her senses. She then leaned down and softly kissed the other Slayer's forehead. Her own tears still falling silently, for Buffy, for herself. For what had been lost and all that could never be, until she too joined the other Slayer in sleep.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy drifted up from sleep as the sun was just beginning its assent in the morning sky. She snuggled deeper into the warmth of the arms that surrounded her. She raised sleep-laden eyes to the face of the woman who held her so loving, held her so safe. She looked so innocent, so young in her sleep. Buffy reached up and tenderly stroked the cheek of the Rogue Slayer. She couldn't remember ever feeling this safe, not even with Angel.

She noticed the tear tracks on the other Slayer's cheeks. Maybe she had changed.

_'And maybe there was no such thing as vampires,'_ came the unbidden thought.

This was Faith, the same Faith who had tried to destroy her life, the same Faith who had threatened her Mom. Her Mom who had never hurt a fly, who now lay dead and buried. It echoed in her mind. _'The same Faith who had threatened Mom, HER MOM!'_ With the echoing thought came rage, an all-consuming rage.

Crazily it suddenly all became Faith's fault. Maybe if she hadn't gone to the dark side, had stayed here where she belonged. Had been here to help share the Slayer burden, Buffy could have spent more time with her Mom. Could have seen what was happening, could have stopped it. Had Faith done all that then maybe Buffy's Mom would still be alive.

The thought that she was laying in the arms of Faith, who, was in her mind now the one to blame, safe and warm, while her Mom lay in the cold embrace of the ground sickened Buffy. She sat up and flung herself away from Faith. The same hand that had been just tenderly caressing Faith's face drew back and viciously bitch-slapped her.

Faith instinctively curled herself into a ball to protect herself the instant the blow registered in her mind. She started trembling, waiting for the next to fall. What the fuck happened? One minute she had been having the most wonderful dream. She had been holding Buffy in her arms, had felt her warmth, felt her snuggling deeper in her embrace; it had seemed so real. The next minute she was being hit. What had she done to piss off the guards again?

_Guards? Wait! Jail?_

She wasn't in jail anymore! She hadn't been dreaming, it had been real, Buffy had been in her arms! Faith could almost still feel her there. The reality of who had just struck her was like being struck all over again, only this time the impact was more painful than any physical blow could ever be.

Buffy flinched when she saw Faiths reaction to the slap.

_God what happened to her in jail?_

As quickly as the sympathy rose in her for the Dark Slayer, Buffy squashed it. The icy coldness from the night before settled around her again. Its numbing effect seduced and comforted her. Her anger was righteous, she thought wildly. She looked down at Faith without emotion, almost clinically, and saw how her bottom lip trembled in an effort to keep the tears from escaping from her eyes.

Those eyes that were filled with so much hurt, so much pain and... and... and... _love?... NO!_

_FUCK THAT!_

Buffy chose not to believe what she was seeing. After all, she had firsthand experience at how good an actress Faith was. _What was that stupid expression,_ Buffy thought, _'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.'_ And reaffirmed to herself, _'I'm no fool!'_

Faith looked up at Buffy; it was taking all her energy not to cry. But try as she might she couldn't keep the hurt out of her eyes. She didn't recognize the woman standing in front of her. This wasn't the Buffy she knew. No, she thought sadly, this wasn't B, she was more _'Dark Faith,'_ than B. She had been expecting anger from Buffy; she knew she deserved her anger. She also knew grief did strange things to people, made them act strange, react strange, but in her wildest dreams, she never expected this. She felt a shiver go up the back of her neck, making her hair stand on end, as she looked up into Buffy's cold, hate-filled eyes.

"Bu..."

"**DON'T!** DON'T say a fucking word. What game are you playing now? How are you planning on hurting me this time, huh Faith, huh tell **ME!**" Buffy screeched.

"I would never h hhhur.."

"What, wouldn't hurt me, is that what you were going to say? That you're here to help. Turned over a new leaf, is that it? So I should just forgive and forget. Was that how you were going to play it? Set me up, figured you had an edge, since I'm all alone, no Angel, no Riley. Try to sedu_..- what? -_ t-t-take advantage of me. Figured it'd be easy. Well FUCK YOU! Not going to work! You're nothing! You're Disgusting! You Murderous bitch! So crawl back to whatever gutter you came from you skanky whore, and leave me ALONE!" Buffy shrieked at Faith. Her body trembling from with rage, her fists clenched at her side.

She watched with cold unbelieving eyes as tears silently fell from the Rogue Slayer's eyes.

"Tears Faith, for me, I'm touched." Buffy said, smiling cruelly. "I think you missed your _R E A L_ calling, you should have been an actress. Almost believable. Nice touch though..." she sneered.

"Buffy...I'm sor..." Faith stammered...

_**"I TOLD YOU IF YOU EVER TRIED TO APOLOGIZE i WOULD BEAT YOU TO DEATH."**_

Buffy hissed slowly, venom dripping from each word, as she raised her clenched fists poising them to strike.

Faith raised her hands up in self-defense. Fear streaked through her, then she just let it go. It was almost as if someone else was pulling the strings, as if some outside force was making them reenact the past. Faith dropped her hands with a sigh of what was a kind of relief. Relief that it would all finally play out, like it should have played out all those months ago. She heard herself say quietly.

"Go ahead..." and then retreated deep into the recesses of her mind.

Back to the place she knew so well as a child. Now, like all those years ago, there would be no Angel to stop the blows that were to come.

Faith closed her eyes and awaited her fate at Buffy's hands.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy saw the fear flash in Faith's eyes. She saw Faith through a red haze raise up her hands to defend herself, to only lower them with a sigh of relief.

_Relief?_

She saw as the light went out of Faith's eyes as she retreated. She saw it wasn't behind Faith's usual wall of indifference, but instead into a state of resigned acceptance, into a sort of nothingness.

The words Faith whispered an echo from the past, in this macabre game that Fate seemed to be playing with them. Only this time there was no Angel to stop Buffy. She watched, as if it were a dream, as Faith calmly closed her eyes, and as her own fists started to descend.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Fate continued to play its surreal game with them. Buffy heard Angel in her mind, as clearly as if he were whispering in her ear.

**_'This is not gonna happen...I know Faith did some bad things to you...And you can't possibly know what she's going through...'_**

The voice changed as he trailed off and now it was Faith's raspy voice whispering to her from the past.

**_'You have no idea what it's like on the other side! Where nothing's in control, nothing makes sense! There is just pain and hate and nothing you do means anything. You can't even...'_**

"Understand, is that what you were going to say Faith?" Buffy whispered.

_I can, I can, Faith_, she thought as her fists fell harmlessly to her side. _I so can understand. Right now, right here I can_, and the horror of what she had almost just done turned her stomach. She had been completely out of control, blaming Faith for everything that was wrong in her life. Blaming her for her own mistakes. Trying to force on her, her own guilt. Blaming her irrationally for her Mom's death. Her anger was justified. Just as Faith's would be justified. They had both made mistakes, each paying the price in a different way.

But kill her? Killing Faith would be like killing a part of herself.

_Kill Faith, how could I kill her I looo... what? OHFUCK! I CAN'T do this not now, not here, not ever!_

It was all too much, Buffy was on overload. It was staggering; she couldn't handle any more, the grief, seeing Faith, the, the, the...

Buffy looked into Faiths eyes, and for a brief second she let what she truly felt for her show. Then she turned and fled the apartment.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith opened her eyes warily when the blows didn't come. She watched Buffy; her head was cocked to one side as if she were leaning in listening to someone whisper in her ear. Faith concentrated, she took a deep breath and let all of her Slayer senses free. Almost, almost, she could swear she heard Angel's words from the past. She looked intently into Buffy's eyes, and she knew what was happening behind those eyes. That night, the words, were permanently etched upon her mind. For a brief moment Faith could swear, that when Buffy had gazed down so intensely at her she saw love for her in Buffy's eyes. Then she was gone running out into the early morning light.

Running, just like Faith had always run. It was ironic, it was sad, it was almost funny, in a very twisted fucked up way.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...we danced in graveyards ~ with vampires till dawn ~ we laughed in the faces of kings ~ never afraid to burn ~ and I hate and I hate and I hate and I hate disintegration ~ watching us wither ~ black winged roses that safely changed their COLOR ! I can't reach you I can't reach you ~ give me life ~ give me pain ~ give me myself again ~ Tori Amos

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	4. III - Halo

III – Halo

**xxxxxxxxxx**

You wear guilt ~ Like shackles on your feet ~ Like a halo in reverse ~ I can feel it ~ The discomfort in your seat ~ And in your head it's worse ~ There's a pain ~ A famine in your heart ~ An aching to be free...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy ran, but where could she run to?

Who was there to run to?

What was she running from?

Who was she running from? Faith? Herself?

So she just kept running, she ran until she couldn't run anymore, 'til her legs gave out and she stumbled and fell to the ground.

She lay there, her thoughts, feelings, one big jumble. She couldn't distinguish one from the other. She was terrified. Afraid of opening up, afraid not to. Afraid to love, afraid to be loved. Afraid of what she was becoming, afraid of what she might not become. Afraid to risk anything, afraid not to, afraid to lose more than she had already lost. All the fear, the grief, the regret, the guilt, the remorse, all of it was too much.

She knew she had been pulling away for quite some time. She had been shutting down, closing herself off from everything and everyone. She had thought it would be easier that way. Easier for them if she moved away, easier for them when she died, died young like every other Slayer before her. But she hadn't been the one to die, and now... now she didn't know anymore. She had to wonder who she had been trying to make it easier for, them or herself.

Now on top of everything there was Faith. Faith who had once been her friend, the wild part of Buffy, the other half of herself. Faith who was now her enemy, or was it that she was Faith's enemy? The special bond they had shared, the only one who could ever really understand her. Even Angel couldn't understand, only another Slayer could.

Only Faith could appreciate the weight that had found a home on her shoulders the day she was called. Faith bore that weight too.

Only Faith could comprehend waking up every morning with your first thought being whether or not this was the day you were going to die.

Only Faith grasped what it was like to know that you wouldn't live long enough to see a gray hair on your head, hold your grandchild in your arms, if you even lived long enough to have your own child. That, at best, they only had a year or two left on this plane of existence.

Only Faith could know the anguish of all those you hadn't saved, because you were a second too slow, because there was only one of you and thousands of them.

The same Faith that she had been a hairsbreadth away from beating to death this morning. The same Faith that wouldn't have stopped her. Would have let it happen to try, in Faith's way, to make things right between them. Buffy silently thanked whoever was in charge up there for sending the voices of the past to her. For making her actually _HEAR_ and comprehend the words. She had a small glimpse this morning at how effortless it would be to give into the seductive siren's call of the dark side. The promises it made sweet, as poison fell from its lips.

But for all that Buffy had learned, admitted to herself this morning there were still a few things she wasn't ready to deal with. Didn't know if she ever could deal with. She purposely steered her thoughts away from them. Away from how she had felt being held in Faith's arms, away from what she had glimpsed in the other Slayer's eyes, away from the feelings she herself had been denying.

Despite all of it, she still wondered whether she could trust Faith. Had she changed? What was she really doing here? Why wasn't she still in jail? What did she really want? Who was Faith really? Was she the woman who had wreaked havoc on Buffy's life or was she the woman who had held Buffy safe in her arms last night? Too many questions and not enough answers.

Underlying all of this, there was the hard, cold fact that she was still angry at Faith. For holding a knife to Willow's throat. Strangling Xander. Poisoning Angel. Threatening her Mom. Forcing Buffy to hurt her. For turning to the dark side. Rejecting the hands - _my hand -_ that were held out in friendship, in trust, to help. For betraying them, betraying her. Angry for so many reasons she couldn't even count them all.

It was all too much again. She was so weary of it all. Without blinking Buffy let herself slip back into the armor she had been wrapping herself from the world in. She picked herself up off the ground and started walking, only this time she had a destination in mind.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was still in the same position since Buffy had run out earlier that morning. Her arms wrapped around her drawn up legs, her forehead resting upon her knees. Occasionally a soft sigh escaped her. At this point, she pretty much had no feeling in her lower extremities, but she didn't care. She was too busy trying to make sense out of everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.

What the fuck had happened last night and this morning? What had happened to the Buffy she knew? Buffy had been acting more like Faith's old self. Had things really been that bad over the last year? Faith knew there was more to this than just Mrs. S's death. There was a sort of detachment about her now and Faith knew all about that. She was an expert at pushing people away. Even so, it was funny how after all this time there was still the connection between them. The connection that allowed them to see what lie beneath the surface of the face they both showed the world.

It was different now though. Buffy had closed a part of herself off. Faith suspected that it wasn't just her that was shut out, but Buffy's friends and family too. She had seen the coldness in Buffy's eyes. A coldness that she hadn't even seen the night Buffy had stabbed her, and it scared the shit out of Faith.

She knew what it was like, knew where it led, when you killed off a part of yourself. When you stopped letting people in, stopped allowing yourself to feel. Knew what a lonely place it was. Knew the longer you stayed there the harder it was to come back. To reach out, to ask for help, to grasp onto the hand that was being held out to you. How easy it was just to let the nothing, the numbness be your friend, lover. She knew what it was like to think there was no one who could possibly understand. Looking into Buffy's eyes had been like looking at her own reflection in the mirror not too long ago.

Faith made a decision right then and there. No matter what it took, no matter whether Buffy wanted her help or not. She didn't care if it meant letting Buffy beat the living shit out of her, Faith would do anything to make that coldness in Buffy's eyes go away. There was no way Faith was going to let her go down that road. Faith had lived through and caused enough pain for both of their lifetimes, she could share. Whether Buffy fucking liked it or not she was going to learn from Faith's mistakes. Unlike Faith, Buffy was going to learn the easy way...

Even if it meant that Buffy ended up hating her for it...

Even if it meant that Faith ended up hating herself again for it...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Can't you see ~ All love's luxuries ~ Are here for you and me ~ And when our worlds they fall apart ~ When the walls come tumbling in ~ Though we may deserve it ~ It will be worth it ~ Bring your chains ~ Your lips of tragedy ~ And fall into my arms – Depeche Mode

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	5. IV - Return to Innocence

IV – Return To Innocence

**xxxxxxxxxx**

If you want, then start to laugh ~ If you must, then start to cry ~ Be yourself don't hide ~ Just believe in destiny ~ Don't care what people say ~ Just follow your own way ~ Don't give up and use the chance ~ To return to innocence ~ That's not the beginning of the end ~ That's the return to yourself ~ The return to innocence - Enigma

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith closed her eyes and let herself remember the feeling of Buffy in her arms. She couldn't remember how many times she had dreamed of just such a moment. It didn't matter to her that it hadn't happened the way she had pictured it, all that mattered was how it felt. God it felt, shit she couldn't even think of a word to describe it.

_Liar! _Her heart of hearts whispered to her. She knew exactly how it felt, she was just afraid to admit it to herself. Once she did there was no going back. No more excuses. Admitting it would make it one hundred times harder to keep it to herself. The fact that Faith was determined that Buffy learn from her mistakes added to her fears. She knew there was a real possibility that when all was said and done Buffy might hate her.

But oh shit, it had felt so good! It made her feel a little giddy, which was ridiculous. But damn it felt like, like...

_NO can't go there!_

**_Coward!_**

_HUH?_

**_You're a coward, just another thing you can run away from, too hard is it?_**

_Shut up!_

**_Fuck you!_**

Oh great now she was having an argument with herself. Her head definitely must have hit the ground harder than she thought. She was starting to feel like she was caught up in a _"Twilight Zone"_ episode gone bad.

If she was honest with herself she would admit that she didn't really believe for one minute that she and Buffy would ever be more than friends, _'Friends, oh but I want so much more,'_ she sighed in her mind. Or was it that she didn't want to believe it because it scared her? Hell, she barely knew how to be a friend to someone, let alone someone's lover.

_Whoa lover..._

Hell, she wouldn't even know where to start.

Still and all Buffy hadn't killed her this morning that had to count for something, didn't it? In fact, other than the slap she really hadn't hurt her at all. Well, her words had hurt, but it wasn't like she hadn't done all of those things. In fact, Buffy had thrown her own words back at her, the same words she had screamed at herself when she was in Buffy's body. There was still the undeniable fact that Buffy had spent the night in her arms! Had let Faith hold her, comfort her, keep her safe. Then this morning, before the world came crashing down, Buffy had been tenderly - _lovingly? -_ caressing her cheek.

After all, maybe it wasn't so ridiculous to have hope. Maybe, just maybe they could get past, well the past. Forgive each other. Maybe they could be the _'Chosen Two'_ again. Maybe Faith could show her that she had changed, that she was really sorry. She would take whatever Buffy had to offer, she wanted, needed to be a part of her life. Maybe they could start over, clear the air, be honest with each other.

**_How are you going to be honest with her if you can't even be honest with yourself?_**

_You again, go away!_

**_Not gonna happen. You're a coward, always have been, always will be!_**

_Fuck you OK. FUCK YOU!_

**_Coward!_**

_OK, OK, you want to know how it felt. How it felt to hold her in my arms! I'll tell you, it felt… it felt… it felt like..._

"Home," with that simple whispered word, Faith felt another of her well-built walls crumble. A freeing of a part of herself that had been caged for so very long. The beautiful smile that grew on her face, even god couldn't have stopped, if she tried.

_Um, not to interrupt the moment or anything, but aren't you forgetting something?_

The fucking voice in her head was starting to annoy her. But it was right she was forgetting something, so with a sigh, Faith got up from the floor and almost fell.

_Holy shit, how long have I been sitting?_

She felt pins and needles start to stab up and down her legs.

_Hate these, hate these, oh I so hate these!_

She started doing that weird little dance that every person who ever had their limbs fall asleep on them did. She caught sight of herself in the mirror...

_Soul-boy had a mirror? Weird._

She started giggling at the image of herself like a two-year-old who suddenly discovered he had toes, and thought it was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

_'Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,'_ she thought with each gingerly taken step she took towards the phone. Which of course, was on the other side of the room.

_'Oh thank god,'_ she thought when she finally reached it and started giggling all over again. She picked up the phone and dialed the number she had come to know by heart.

"Hello?" The sound of the voice at the other end immediately sobered Faith up.

"Yeah it's me she knows I'm here..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	6. V - Forget

V – Forget

**xxxxxxxxxx**

these things that we too soon forget ~ collecting dust...spider webs that grow and grow till there's nothing left ~ except for shreds that you can't quite call evidence ~ that i had a life before today ~ see i forget things i associate with pain ~ i think it's time that i start to look back on my life ~ sitting around watching things go ~ these things that remind me of my home...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Giles! NOW!" Buffy yelled, bursting through the door of the Magic Shop. The door slammed against the wall hard enough to make the items on the shelves shake. "GILES!" she yelled again.

The one customer in the shop looked around at her. The look on her face was frightening. He swore he could see red sparks flashing from her eyes.

"I, ah, ah, changed my mind," he stammered to Anya. He headed for the door and cautiously made his way around the _'she-demon'_ by the entrance.

Giles came running out of the back of the Magic Shop at the sound of her voice. He saw Anya out of the corner of his eye throw a look that could kill at Buffy. _'Oh no!'_ He quickly headed over to the counter hoping he would be able to stop the confrontation that was sure to come.

Most of the time Anya was indifferent to everything that went on, Giles supposed being over twelve-hundred years old might do that to you. Her weak spot however was **_MONEY_**, and Buffy had just ruined a sale. The Ex-Vengeance demon was as enamored by money, as she was obsessed with her _'Orgasm Buddy'_ Xander.

"You, you, the Money..."

"Not now Anya big problem, like in huge." Buffy said cutting her off.

"Well, what seems to be the problem Buffy?"

"Faith."

"Faith?" Giles asked puzzled.

"You know, as in Faith, _Bad Slayer. Evil Slayer. Psycho Slayer. That Faith._" Giles hated it when Buffy got like this. He just raised his eyebrow and waited for her to continue.

"She's out!"

"Out?"

"Like **_NOT _**in jail, like here."

"What? Faith's here in Sunnydale?"

"That would be a yes, I saw her last night at Angel's apartment."

"You wait until now to tell me!" Irritated Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them.

"Well I only left there an hour or so ago..." _Ooops!_ "Um, I, uh," how the hell was she going to explain this?

"Y-y-y-y-ou uh, ahmm, spent t-t-he night with Faith?" Giles choked out.

"Is Faith your _'Orgasm Buddy'_?"

**_"NO! SO SO SO SO NOT! NO!"_** Buffy yelled at Anya, a little too loud and a little too vehemently.

"Oh do you want her to be? Is that why you spent the night with her? Because you know, Willow and Tara are and you know it would be OK..." Giles and Buffy just stared at Anya, both wondering how they had even gotten sidetracked into this topic.

"Anya, enough! Buffy and Faith are not um, ah, that. What is she doing here?"

"Don't know, I think we need to call a Scooby meeting. Yup a Scooby meeting would be good."

"Perhaps you should call Angel as well. Although I am surprised, he didn't call and let us know she was out of jail. Unless of course, he doesn't know."

"I'll call Angel, you call the Gang."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_"WHAT!..._** You didn't... Psychotic super... At your word... Right an... Bullshit..."

The Scooby Gang was sitting around the table at the Magic Shop listening to Buffy yell at Angel on the phone. They could only hear bits and pieces of the conversation and it didn't sound as if things were going well. They all jumped when they heard Buffy slam down the phone. Giles wondered if it was still in one piece. Apparently, it was because they heard her talking to someone else, all they heard this time though was the word **_NOW_**. Buffy stormed back into the main room of the shop in time to hear Xander's question.

"So psycho slut is back?"

"Yes and Buffy spent the night with her. But they aren't _'Orgasm Buddies'_. But I told her it would be okay if she wan... hmpf..." The rest was cut off by Xander's hand over Anya's mouth.

Everyone just stared openmouthed at first Anya, and then Buffy. Buffy threw an exasperated look at Anya.

"You... you... spent the night with her?" Willow gasped. "How, why would you, I mean, she is evil, unless of course she's not anymore which is..."

"Why don't we just let Buffy explain, shall we?" Giles had left out the part about Buffy spending the night with Faith when he had filled the Scooby Gang in. Well, what little information there was, which pretty much consisted of Faith was back and nothing else. He should have known better with Anya around. Everyone looked expectantly at Buffy.

"Well, I ran into her last night and just to be safe I stayed to keep an eye on her." The answer sounded lame even to Buffy.

"Was Angel able to shed any light on Faith being here?"

"He refused to tell me much of anything." Buffy said as she sat down with the rest of them at the round table. "Faith has been out of jail since October. Angel had her stashed in some apartment. He said he has been trying to help her control her dark side."

"Brood-Boy helping Evil-Slayer-Girl, kind of makes sense in a very weird sort of way." Xander mused.

"Wait, what do you mean she's been out since October? What happened to she killed someone, tortured and threatened others, they only give five months for that kind of stuff now. 'Cause I mean usually that's like a life thing and, um, I mean, she was sentenced to eighteen months just for the assault and battery wasn't she? And it hasn't been that long yet has it? And I think..."

"Will, Will, hold on a sec, okay." Buffy held up her hand to get Willow to stop babbling. "Seems the _so-called_ smart people in like the Judge and the D.A. dropped the other charges, and the assault conviction was overturned. 'Cause I mean what's one more psychopath on the streets anyway, right? This is why they make the big bucks, they make the big dumb decisions. Angel says Faith isn't evil anymore. Said she's trying to make up for the past. Be a good little girl. He said to ask her my questions. So I, um, called her. She should be here soon."

"**_WHAT!?_** Should we get weapons or something? Cause, I mean, who knows if she is going to go all psycho on us. I mean, she did threaten Willow with a knife and she tried to strangle me. Who knows what she is going to do now."

Before Buffy could answer Xander, they heard the tinkling of the bell on the door.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith had been standing outside of the Magic Shop for ten minutes trying to get up enough nerve to go inside. She'd been peeking in the window fervently praying she wasn't caught. She was hoping to get the temperature of the room before she went in and from what she could see there were no happy campers in there. She didn't expect that they would greet her with open arms. She had pretty much destroyed any chance of that, what she was hoping was that they would at least give her a chance.

_Sure, sure, I'll just walk in there and explain that __**I WAS**__ a __**PSYCHO**__, but I've seen the light and now I'm not. And of course they'll just take me at my word. Then there will be Scooby hugs and kisses all around, and cake and ice cream to follow._

Faith sighed and leaned her head up against the building. Funny, Soul-boy forgot to tell her about this part. She straightened up and squared her shoulders; she still had a little pride left, and walked through the door.

Seven heads turned towards her. She moved away from the entrance and came into the shop out of the bright sunlight. There was a collective gasp from the original Scooby Gang as they saw how her clothes hung off her emaciated body. They saw her large haunted brown eyes stare back at them from her gaunt face. For once, it seemed Faith wasn't hiding behind her usual facade of indifference. There was a second gasp from the group when they noticed the fresh bruises in the shape of a handprint on each of her cheeks. It didn't even enter their minds that there was only one person who could hit the Dark Slayer hard enough to leave such lasting vivid bruises on her face.

The cocky attitude seemed to be gone as well, and in its place, there seemed to be, oddly enough, a calm sort of confidence. This certainly didn't appear to be the Faith they had known.

Faith started walking towards them. When she saw the looks of apprehension they were giving her, she stopped mid-stride. She knew they were wondering if she was going to attack them.

_Shit I'd be wondering that myself about now too, not a great start._

So, she veered away from them towards the counter. She hopped up onto the counter top and saw how everyone jumped when she jumped. She saw Giles' look of disapproval and suppressing a sigh she slid off the counter and leaned back against it instead. She shoved her hands into her pockets, and curiously enough, it seemed she was wearing lifting gloves. She tried to make her demeanor as non-threatening as possible.

"Going for that anorexic body-building look now, Faith?"

Anya looked at Xander, she was a little perplexed by the bitterness, and meanness of his tone.

As she had over the last twenty-four hours where it concerned Faith, Buffy chose to ignore what her heart and eyes were desperately trying to tell her; what some of the Scooby Gang seemed to see. This wasn't the same Faith that they all had come to hate. Buffy was still too angry, at Angel, at Faith, at herself, and so she let the anger control her.

"Me, I preferred the sleazy street slut look over the whole waif thing you've got going on Faith. Is this whole wasting away to nothing look part of the twisted psycho game you're playing this time? _'Oh look at me! The guilt is eating me alive. I can't eat; I can't sleep, POOR, POOR, PITIFUL ME!'_ Did you think we'd feel sorry for you and just open our arms and let you back in? 'Cause it's not working for me, how about the rest of you guys?"

Faith wasn't the only one to look at Buffy in shock. Well, they thought it was Buffy, she looked like Buffy, sounded like Buffy, but she didn't act like Buffy. At least not the Buffy they knew. They had been noticing, even before her Mom had died little changes in her over the last few weeks. Had been noticing she seemed to be a little distant, only now they were realizing how far away she had actually moved.

"Waiting here!"

"Buffy!"

"Giles!"

"Enough! This is accomplishing nothing." Giles rose to stand in front of Buffy as he spoke.

"Um... I would... ah, like to say something first before... I do that, well I mean if... um, that's okay." Faith stumbled unsure of how to start. Her calm confidence was slowly turning to acute nervousness. This definitely wasn't going as she planned, but then again very few things in her life ever did. Buffy interrupted her before she could continue.

"Giles move," Buffy waved him to the side. "You're going to make me miss the start of the act."

"Look I'm not here to cause trouble."

"Coulda fooled me."

Faith chose to ignored Buffy, getting into a verbal tug of war with her would not help.

"I want to say I'm..." Faith shot a nervous look at Buffy before continuing. "Sorry."

"Right and I'm Kate Moss." They heard Buffy snort under her breath. Faith had to stop herself from making a short joke; she doubted it would have gone over well with the Scoobs or Buffy.

"Buffy, enough! Let Faith speak. You are not helping matters." Giles spoke to her as if she were a wayward four-year-old. Buffy opened her mouth to say something else and Giles gave her that fatherly look of disapproval that always stopped her in her tracks. Buffy turned her cold eyes back to Faith and nodded at her to continue.

"I messed up big, I know that. I was too busy running and feeling sorry for myself to see what was right in front of me. I spit on all of you, your friendship, your trust. I betrayed my calling, all of you and myself. If I could, I would go back and change it all."

"You mean, like actually kill us this time don't you?" Xander mumbled under his breath.

Faith took a shuddering breath and continued, the pain of Xander's words like a knife in her gut. Her voice trembled a little. "No! If I had really wanted to kill you, you would be dead right now." That gave them pause, because it suddenly became obvious that what she said was true. It was something none of them had ever really thought about before now.

"I know I can't change what happened. I know you have no reason to believe me when I tell you I am not that Faith anymore. That I never want to be her again, that I never wanted to be her. I'm not going to offer any excuses, try to blame it on a bad childhood or some other bullshit. I was out of control, I couldn't... didn't know how to ask for or accept help. I thought my only way out was to become evil enough, do enough damage that... that... that... someone would be forced to kill me to get me to stop. I don't ever want to go down that path again. I've learned a lot from Angel over the last few months. And the guilt like the blood on my hands will be with me for the rest of my life." Faith lost her composure a little and paused to take a shaky breath.

"I'm not asking you for your forgiveness or your friendship. I couldn't have that kind of luck a second time. But I am sorry for everything." Again, they saw her look a little nervously at Buffy. "All I'm asking for is a chance to show you. I came here to help." She looked at the Scoobs and waited for their reaction.

"Yeah, well, I mean, if you're not evil anymore, that's like a good thing, but it's kinda hard to believe, you know, cause it looks like you've already been um, well, I mean, like... like you've only been here a day and you show up here all, um, bruised face and all..." Willow trailed off at the look the two Slayers' exchanged at the mention of Faith's bruises.

Faith saw it dawn on them who she had gotten the bruises from. There was a little bit of horror in their eyes when they took note that there didn't seem to be a hair out of place on Buffy. Faith didn't like this. She didn't want them to lose their, well, faith in Buffy. Didn't want them to actually realize how distant Buffy had become. Buffy needed them now more than ever. Needed their continued support. If they started to distance themselves from her as well, it wouldn't help at all. Faith knew what the feeling of being all alone in the world could do to you, could make you do. She wanted them to continue to believe that _'Their Buffy'_ only used her fists when given no other choice, no matter what the person had done.

Buffy cringed inside when she felt their eyes move to her, she knew what they were thinking. They were looking to her for an answer as to why it looked as if she was the only one who had done any hitting. She didn't have an answer for them, or at least not one she was willing to admit to.

Faith didn't like the speculative looks the Scoobs were giving Buffy. She sure as hell couldn't tell them what had really happened so she did the only thing she could think of: she lied.

"Nope! No fighting here. I, ah, had a run-in with a few vamps before dawn this morning and they, ah... kinda caught me by surprise, you know. You can see I'm...um...ah...not exactly in the best of shape, ah, not at, ah full Slayer strength. I, um, kinda bruise easy and don't heal as fast you know." _'Fuck, Faith, channel Willow much?'_ she thought to herself.

Faith saw the surprise and the brief hint of gratitude in Buffy's eyes. The gratitude didn't last very long and Buffy retreated back behind the wall of ice, the coldness once more clear in her eyes.

"Your kind of help we don't need, it's like no help at all."

"B, I'm not leaving even if you don't let me help. This is where I'm supposed to be."

"Go back to L.A. Faith. Is that clear enough for you, or would you like me to spell it out for you, given that you can read?"

_"NO!"_

"Don't make me drag you back there."

"I'll only come back; I'm not running anymore, not from slaying, not from my past, not from anything. Something big and bad is coming down and _I AM SUPPOSED_ to be here. _I AM NOT _leaving. I am going to help whether you like it or not B. I will do whatever it takes, whatever you want, just say the word, everything but leave. You'll have to kill me to keep me away." Her words were wrapped in quiet defiance, there was nothing threatening about them, simply because they were not meant as a threat.

"Faith, perhaps it would help if you told us why you are so certain you are supposed to be here." Giles directed a do-not-interrupt look at Buffy.

"There's this demon that Soul- ah, Angel knows that owns a club and he can, ah, sort of see your soul... Read your aura... Point you where you're supposed to be... Your destiny or some such thing. Angel took me to see him." Suddenly Faith found the tops of her combat boots very interesting.

"A demon you say? What kind?"

"A... a... Ana something, I don't know, he's green, red eyes, horns; a demon demon. Ya know?" Faith said still fascinated by the tops of her boots.

"Oh I know that, it is an _ANAGOGIC_ demon. They're connected to the mystics. You have to sin..."

_"Ahyeahthat'sitsothat'swhyI'mhere,"_ Faith rushed out before Anya could finish.

"Anya did you say you have to sin for this demon to read your Aura?" Giles asked, puzzled.

"No. If she wasn't such a rude human and didn't interrupt me, I would have said: You have to sing in order for them to read your aura."

"I know about this Cordy told me about it. Angel sang Barry Manilow!"

Right about now Faith was hoping a hole would open up and swallow her into the ground. If she were the old Faith, which she wasn't, she would be seriously considering hurting Anya and Willow. Instead, she just kept looking at her shoes, hoping no one would notice the blush creeping up her neck. She knew they wouldn't let her off that easy though.

"You sang Faith?" Buffy asked sweetly. Oh this was way too good! So much to play with! Buffy couldn't resist the urge to make the Rogue Slayer squirm just a little. She had heard Faith sing, well, if you could call it that. If Buffy remembered correctly, Faith sang in the key of **_'O F F'_**.

"Yes." Faith mumbled and looked pleadingly at Buffy.

_Pleaseohpleasedon'taskdon'task!_

But Faith knew she would.

"So what did you sing F?"

"B..."

"F, it could be important." Just for a brief moment in time, it was like none of the bad blood had happened between them. It was just the Chosen Two teasing each other again.

Faith mumbled into her feet. " S..."

"What? I couldn't hear you. Could you guys?" Buffy asked followed by a chorus of _'No's'_.

_OK, so where is that hole? 'Cause I could really, really, use it now. I am so gonna umph... Soul-boy you better run the next time you see me!_

"Blue Sun by Darling Violetta." Faith looked at Buffy, wondering if she would remember.

"Hey that was the..."

_Don'tsayitRedpleasedon'tohdon'tRed!_

"...song the band was playing the night Buffy met you and brought you over to our table at the Bronze."

_AHHHfuckRedyousaidityouandyourfuckingcomputerforabrainremembereveryfuckinglittlethingfuckfuckfuck!_

Faith was back to inspecting her boots again, but not before she saw the surprise in Buffy's eyes. She couldn't help it she had to grin, but the grin didn't last very long when what Buffy was saying started to sink in.

"Hmm, I'm thinkin' it would be a good thing, yup a really, really, good thing if Faith sang it for us now." Faith's head snapped up, she knew her face had to be scarlet by now. She gave her best _please-please-don't-make-me-do-this_ look at Buffy who was just sitting there smiling like the cat that just ate the canary.

"Beeeeeee?" She begged.

_OHnoshe'sreallynotgonnamakemepleasegodi'llneverswearagain!_

"You said you'd do whatever it takes F." She shrugged and gave Faith an innocent look, but there was an impish grin playing around the corners of her lips.

_Wow, she remembered the song that was playing when we met. Why? And she picked that song out of all the songs she could have picked. Hmm just another of her games probably._

There was a little part of Buffy that was secretly thrilled, but a bigger part of her vehemently denied it.

Faith stared into Buffy's eyes, and caught a glimpse of, was it, delight, over the song she had picked? For just that second, Faith could have sworn that she heard the distinct sound of a wall beginning to crumble.

_Oh Fuck me I had to go and say whatever it takes B, I'm getting stupid from all those fucking hits to my head!_

With a sheepish grin, Faith shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as if to say, _'What-the-Fuck'_. Buffy let her sweat it out a few seconds longer; this was way too much fun.

Buffy raised her hand and stopped Faith just before she started to sing.

_ThankyouBthankyouthankyouthankyou!_

"OK, OK you don't have to sing. Torturing the Scoobs won't help prove you've changed... I am going to give you your chance Faith. But you will be on probation. Angel wants you to move into the mansion. Do it tonight, and I expect you here at 10 a.m. tomorrow to train, and don't even think about being late."

"Thank you B... B...uffy. I won't let you down, I won't let any of you down, I swear." Faith tried to keep herself from smiling as she turned to leave but a little bit of the smile escaped anyway.

"And Faith..." Buffy said just as the Rogue Slayer opened the door to leave. Faith turned around to look at the Slayer.

"You better not let any of us down. If I even see a hint that you're going back to your old ways, you'll be lucky if all I do to you is kick your ass all the way back to L.A." The temperature in the room plummeted about fifty degrees before Faith turned around and left. The connection between the Slayers' once again broken.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As each of the Chosen Two drifted off to sleep that night, it was with thoughts of the other. They would have been surprised at just how similar those thoughts were.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The Slayer woke from her slumber, and was not in her own bed. Where was she? She hated these damn Slayer dreams. She looked around, and saw she was standing in a very large room. Over in the corner was a young woman spinning threads with a staff. A distaff, a voice in her head told her. The Slayer watched as the young woman carefully selected, and prepared the thread. Then the young woman walked over to an older woman who was sitting at a very large Loom in the center of the room. The Slayer always hated it when people and things would just suddenly be there when they weren't before, these damn Slayer dreams were enough to give someone a heart attack.

The middle-aged woman at the loom was weaving a tapestry so expansive, so intricate it stretched beyond the scope of the Slayer's vision. Even had she been able to see the whole of it, it was doubtful that the Slayer's mind could have comprehended its magnitude.

The Slayer watched as the woman slipped the new thread into the loom through the shuttle. She watched, as the thread seemed to slip smoothly into its allotted place within the tapestry, winding into even braids, crossing and touching other threads as if by plan.

The young woman returned with another thread and gave it to the weaver; only this one was unruly, and wild. The Slayer saw as the weaver took the thread and began to weave it into the tapestry by hand. She wove the thread with careful, loving fingers. As the Slayer looked, she saw other similar threads in the tapestry. Saw how some had frayed in places, tangled in others, they seemed almost unpredictable, and they seem to disrupt the planned design.

The Slayer turned towards a sound that had just sent a shiver down her spine. She saw an ancient woman emerge from the darkness beyond, a pair of shears in her hands. She watched as the weaver held a thread tightly as the ancient woman snipped it. With the snipping of the thread came a sense of sorrow to the Slayer, and with an unbelieving hand she wiped away the single tear that had escaped from her eye.

"Child, come here," beckoned the ancient woman.

The Slayer walked towards the three women who now stood together. She stopped a foot or two from them.

"Who are you?" Did she actually speak the words or were they only in her mind?

"We are known by many names my sisters and I."

The ancient woman pointed to the youngest of them and said, "She is known as _'The Maiden', Clotho, or 'The Spinner'_."

She then pointed at the middle-aged woman, "She is known as _'The Mother', 'Lachesis' or the 'The Weaver'_, and I am known as _'The Crone', 'Atropos', or 'The Harvester'_. We are also known together as the _'Aspects of Fate'_."

"Where am I?"

"You are in the room where the _'Tapestry of Life'_ is woven. Clotho spins the _Threads of Life_. While Lachesis measures and weaves the _Threads of Life_ into the tapestry, and I child, am the one who finally snips them."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"For now, all you need to know is that each person, whether human, god, or immortal, is given an equal share of good and evil at birth. The choices they make during the course of their lives can change the destiny that has been planned in the tapestry for them, as well as the lives of the others they have touched. There are times when these choices can tip the balance of the world causing chaos where none should be. There would be no balance in life, in the world, if there was only one without the other."

"Okay... I think?"

"How would you know what _Cold_ is if you have never known _Hot_? How would you know what _Love _is if you have never known _Hate_? How would you know what _Pleasure _is if you have never known _Pain_? How would you know what _Joy _is if you have never known _Sorrow_? How would you know what _Good _is if you have never known _Evil_? How would you know what _Light_ is if you have never known _Darkness_?"

**"OK! OK, I GET IT!"**

_'Yup, took those smart Slayer pills today, 'cause it would probably be a good thing to get snotty, and annoyed with the Fates and piss them off,' _the Slayer chided herself.

"What is it that you want from me?"

"For now this is all you need to know. Now you must return, until the next time we meet Child." The Fates smiled at the Slayer and faded back into the darkness and she was once more in her own bed.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

i think it's time that i start to look back on my life ~ cuz i don't want to be in doubt ~ and i don't need to know what this life's all about ~ i just wanna to know right now, right now are you gonna be around ~ when i need to find what i'm missing ~ and i can't recall what it was i believed in ~ take me home, surround me with friends ~ take me home...home – 8Stops7

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	7. VI - I Can't Explain

**VI – I Can't Explain**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I've wrapped myself up ~ In a universe again ~ And let the darkness quell ~ My match flame confidence ~ And unwillingly I hide ~ The lever I must find ~ To release the deep ~ The tears withheld inside ~ But I can't explain ~ I can't make sense of the things I'm saying...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She was sitting on the other side of the bed across from her lover pretending to read. In reality, she was watching her over the top of the book. It still amazed her that they were together, every once in a while she had to pinch herself just to make sure it was true.

"Hey there's staring going on here, definitely staring."

"Sorry."

"I don't mind staring; staring can lead to other things, like smoochie type things."

She scooted quickly across the bed, a little smile playing around her mouth. She leaned down and lightly kissed her lover. She felt her lover reach up and run her fingers caressingly through her hair. It sent a shudder of pleasure coursing through her body. Her lover deepened the kiss, delicately parting her lips with her tongue. She pulled away and began teasingly tracing her lover's lips with the tips of her fingers, and placing soft kisses along her check, and down the side of her neck. Occasionally letting her tongue sneak out to taste the sweetness that was her lover. She leaned back and opened her eyes.

That's when she saw the time on the clock beside the bed.

"Crap!"

"What?"

"We're going to be late."

"Don't wanna go! Wanna stay here, definitely here, not there."

"We have to! We promised; now open your eyes..."

"No, and no again." She struggled to open her eyes only to see her own patented _'Resolve Face'_ staring right back at her. "Damn!"

Tara just smiled at Willow. The glint in her eyes letting Willow know that they would, without a doubt, finish what they had started later.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Willow felt Tara staring at her again as they were walking to the Magic Shop. She saw Tara had on her _'How-do-I-say-this,'_ face. She smiled at her encouragingly.

"She wasn't lying."

"Who?"

"Faith."

"Tara." Now it was Willows turn to wear the _'How-do-I-say-this,'_ face. She didn't want to hurt Tara's feelings, but she had only met Faith once, and Willow knew from experience how good an actress Faith was.

"Tara," she began again, "I know she might have sounded sincere, but Faith's a pretty good actress. She had all of us fooled."

"I know but she wasn't acting." Tara said forcefully, and without a hint of doubt.

"How can you be so sure? I mean, Faith was evil, maybe she's using some kind of magic or something..." But Willow knew that wasn't true, if Faith had been using magic to cover her true self she would have known. Plus, there was Angel, who Buffy said was convinced Faith had changed.

"I'm not sure how to explain it or even if I can. It has to do with a person's energy, it's like I sense as well as almost see it. Whether their energy is in balance, or conflict, peaceful or calm. It was how I explained it to you when I knew it wasn't Buffy when Faith switched their bodies or rather the essence in their bodies. The energy didn't belong in that body. It was in conflict, out of harmony, there was no unity to it."

Tara honestly didn't know how she knew these things, they just sort of came to her, and she had learned over the years to trust these _'feelings'_. She silently cursed herself for not being able to explain this better. How do you explain something that isn't exactly tangible, that was more abstract?

"It's a good thing if she's changed. But there's still the whole tried to kill us thing, and well I don't think that I can just forgive her for that, even if she has changed. I'm not even sure if I would have given her a second chance like Buffy is, and Faith did far worse things to her. How do we know she won't just go back to how she was?" Willow paused and then asked, even though she didn't want to. "...Are you really sure Faith wasn't lying?"

"Yeah I am." Tara hesitated unsure, but decided it was best to tell Willow the truth. "She did lie once though."

"I knew it; Faith wouldn't be Faith if she didn't. She must be doing something to hide her true self, even from you. I guess she couldn't maintain it, 'cause you saw through it. I knew it couldn't be true." Willow wondered though, if it was more she didn't want it to be true, because she didn't want to give Faith a second, fourth, hundredth, whatever number it was chance.

"No Will. The only thing she lied about was how she got the bruises on her face."

"I don't want to know do I?" Willow knew she didn't, she was afraid of the answer, which deep down she already knew.

"She didn't get those bruises from vampires. I... I... think you know how she got them."

Willow knew, it was more she just didn't want to know. She had seen the look the two Slayers had exchanged, and she hadn't missed the guilty flush that graced Buffy's face when she had mentioned them. She also knew that Buffy hadn't hit Faith in self-defense. Had she, Faith wouldn't have lied. If Faith was lying about it, why hadn't Buffy said something? Faith was covering up for Buffy, but why?

They were silent on the rest of their walk over to the Magic Shop. Willow thoughts solely centered on Faith. The Faith she had known would have used this to her advantage, would have tried to make Buffy out to be the bad guy and herself the self-sacrificing martyr. _'Oh look at me, Buffy's hitting me for no reason!' _The more Willow thought about it, the more she didn't like any of the conclusions she was coming to. Buffy was changing and Willow didn't like it one bit.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It was a quarter past nine as Buffy was walking down the street towards the Magic Shop. She wanted to get there early to talk with Giles about Faith, get his take on the whole situation. It was unlikely however, that in her current state of mind she would take heed of anything he said unless it was in total accord with her own thoughts on the matter. She paused right before the alleyway that was next to the shop.

"Faith," she said in a low snarl, a second before the Rogue Slayer stepped out of the alley. "Lurking in the shadows now, waiting to pounce on some unsuspecting passerby?"

Now that Faith was back, Buffy had opened up the connection they shared at least to the point where she was aware of the other Slayer's presence before she actual saw her. Obviously, Faith had too, since she stepped out to the crosswalk almost the same instance Buffy spoke her name.

"No... I... ah... just got here. I heard a noise in the alley and went to check it out, it was just... a... ah... cat?!"

In reality, Faith had been standing in the alley since eight-thirty trying to work up the courage to go inside. She was a little nervous about facing the Scoobs on her own, who were already there when she arrived. Like Buffy, she had been hoping to talk with Giles.

Buffy studied Faith's face, and knew she was lying, what she saw there surprised her though. Faith was nervous, Buffy couldn't remember when she had ever seen Faith nervous before. Wait, no, that wasn't true, Faith had been nervous the night she had shown up for Christmas Eve dinner after turning down the original invitation. She had shown up with some transparent excuse about the party being a big drag. Buffy remembered thinking that Faith had looked so endearing, shy, nervous and all, standing in the doorway. She remembered having to fight down the urge to pull Faith into a hug and kiss her she had looked so damn cute. _'In a friendly, sisterly-ish way,'_ Buffy told herself.

"What's the matter? Is big bad Faith afraid to go inside all by her lonesome? Were you waiting on little old me to protect you from the mean old Scoobies? Is this a new game Faith? Were you waiting for me to play too?"

Damn but she loved to tease Faith, had always loved the banter that went on between them, it was something she missed; only now there was meanness in her undertone and words that had never been there before. Like everything else that concerned her reactions to Faith, Buffy chose to ignore it.

Faith's blush was all the answer Buffy needed. Buffy just smiled at her, and walked towards the door not giving her a chance to answer. Faith gave a little sigh of relief she had already made an ass out of herself once today with that lame excuse for being in the alley, she didn't have any desire to do it again.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The Chosen Two entered the shop to a chorus of, _'Good mornings'_, which they returned. Although Faith's greeting was directed more at the floor than at any individual. She could feel their general distrust, resentment, and even a little bit of fear, with some hate thrown in for good measure at her being here. Angel had warned her this wasn't going to be easy, but she hadn't expected it to be so hard.

It hadn't been this hard the first time she was in Sunnydale, but then again the only one whose opinion of her she really cared about back then was Buffy's. The Scoobs would have just been icing on the cake. Things were different this time; she cared about their opinion of her almost as much as Buffy's.

Not wanting to force her presence on them, she mumbled to the room in general something along the lines of going to the training room and doing her Tai Chi before they started. She started to walk then stopped realizing she didn't even know where they were going to train, if it was here or somewhere else. Xander saw her confusion and pointed to the back with a smirk.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was pretty impressed with the training room. She looked around hoping to see some weight lifting equipment. There wasn't any, too bad, she liked working out with the weights, liked the way her muscles looked all cut. She supposed she could always join a gym.

She had already done her Tai Chi this morning. It was part of her morning routine, after she had her coffee that is. First coffee, definitely coffee first, Faith was not now and never would be a morning person. Hell, she was scared to even talk to herself in the morning before her coffee.

She wandered around the room feeling for the right spot to do her Tai Chi again. She found the perfect spot over by one of the few windows in the room. Facing the sun, she cleared her mind and began the _'tai-yin'_ or _'Taoist Breathing' _exercises Angel had taught her. She began moving going from the Cloud Hands to the Winds Sweeps the Plum Blossoms movements smoothly, with familiar ease and purpose. She went deep into her own mind to her center and let the tranquility find her.

Faith didn't notice the others as they came in one by one to watch her. Collectively they thought she was a beautiful sight, and for a time forgot just who they were watching. Tara was seeing, feeling the same blue energy Buffy had seen the other night at Angel's apartment, it only served to reaffirm her _'feeling' _that Faith was not the same person whose energy she had seen in Buffy's body. She could sense that the others were also feeling it in varying degrees too. Tara reached out and clasped Willows hand, leaned in close to her and whispered in her ear.

"Clear your mind, and try to see, feel, the energy that surrounds and is part of her with more than your eyes."

Willow nodded agreement to Tara and cleared her mind, much like she did before casting a spell. She allowed her eyes to become slightly unfocused and opened her mind and senses to room. She was beginning to get a very good glimpse of what it was that Tara sensed, saw. The calm and tranquility she felt coming from the Dark Slayer surprised her. Willow lost her focus when she saw Buffy start to move across the room.

Buffy moved towards Faith, as if being drawn by an invisible thread. She longed for the tranquility the other Slayer seemed to have found. It had been a long time since she had that kind of peace in her life. She moved next to the Slayer, she was familiar with the movements of Faith's exercises; Angel had started teaching them to her a long time ago. She practiced them sporadically. Buffy began to move with Faith, and Faith, who eyes were closed, sensed Buffy presence.

Faith felt Buffy's hesitant movements and her struggle to find her focus. So she opened her mind further, and visualized her energy, her tranquility encompassing them both. Tara let out a little gasp as she saw Faith's energy expand to include Buffy, as the essence of both Slayers merged.

Buffy felt Faith reaching out to her with the connection they shared as Slayers. She resisted it, not wanting to open herself to Faith that fully, but the need for the peace, the calm overcame her resistance. She relaxed as she realized that Faith was not trying to do anything more than share with her the tranquility she herself, was bathed in.

Only a few moments before they had thought they could not see a sight more beautiful than Faith. Now the sight before them, of the Light and Dark Slayer moving together as one, stunned and transfixed them. A glimmer of understanding came to Tara as she watched them. Quietly so as not to disturb them, Tara shooed the others one by one out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They were standing side by side, with their eyes closed, neither wanting to break the silence. Both knowing once it was broken that things would go right back to the way they were. But at least for a little while there had been a fragile peace between them.

"Thank you," Buffy said quietly, then just as quietly retreated back behind the wall that Faith already hated.

"Ready?"

Before Faith even had a chance to respond, she got knocked on her ass. "No fair B."

"Tell that to a vamp the next time he sneaks up on you F." Buffy said coming at her again. This time Faith was ready for her and dodged her, it was Buffy who ended up on the floor this time.

Buffy jumped up and with an evil grin, and a wicked look in her eyes came for her yelling; "Woo Hoo let the fun begin!"

Faith froze for a second at the memories those almost exact words elicited. She ended up on her ass again.

Faith got up and quirking an eyebrow held out her hand, palm upward, and beckoned for Buffy to come and get her.

They trained for two hours, emerging from the room into the Magic Shop covered in sweat. Anya caught a whiff of them and wrinkled her nose. They were walking over to the table to sit down when she stopped them.

"No. Out. Shower. You will smell out the patrons." When they kept moving towards the table ignoring her, she yelled at them again. "**OUT! NOW! **You both smell. Not a good smell, not like from sex. Although there is a little of that sme..."

"**OK!** OK we'll leave, were gone, see, gone here!" Buffy cut her off before she could go where Buffy was sure she was going.

They stood outside of the shop awkwardly. Now what?

"Now, what, what, B?"

Shit, she hadn't realized she had spoken the words out loud.

"Now, we, ah, go get something to eat. Because frankly, I don't trust you to feed yourself. You look like shit Faith. It's obviously affecting your fighting because you hit like a girl today." Buffy ignored the flash of hurt she saw in the other Slayer's eyes. It never once occurred to her that Faith had not actually hit her full force on purpose today. Buffy had failed to notice that Faith had either, blocked, dodged, or simply hit her with enough power to get Buffy away from her.

"Whatever B, you're the boss."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith stood outside of Giles apartment, and as was par for the course today she was trying to work up the courage to knock on the door.

She was there for dinner, not because she was wanted, but because Buffy told her to be here. After lunch, Buffy had made it very clear again, that she didn't trust Faith to feed herself. Without coming out and saying it she knew Buffy thought this was all part of a game she was playing. Like she would actually starve herself to death to get Buffy to let her back into her life! Right! There were other things she could do, things she could tell Buffy, that would work better than this if she wanted to.

Buffy would have been surprised if she knew just how much Faith was eating. For once, her Slayer metabolism was working against her. While it had been easy to lose the thirty or so pounds after what she called, _'The Incident'_, it was four times harder to put it back on. She had only managed to put ten pounds back on. It didn't matter though because twenty pounds lighter on what was already a lean thin frame, still made her look like someone had caged her up and had given her only bread and water for a very long time. Which was pretty close to the truth, the difference being that the cage had only existed in Faith's mind.

_Fuck it, no time like the present._

Faith walked up to door and knocked. Giles answered, and with a polite, _'Good evening,' _led her into the dining room, where Faith sat down to one of the worst meals of her life.

By the end of the meal, Faith had the urge to run for the very first time in a year. She had no idea what she had eaten, nor could she eat it fast enough. Buffy and Giles had spent the whole meal watching her eat. What did they think she was going to do, feed it to the nonexistent dog under the table? Not to mention that they hadn't asked her if she wanted seconds, they just gave it to her. She ate it too, afraid that if she didn't Buffy would force feed it to her.

After the meal was over, she excused herself to use the bathroom. When she came out, she caught a guilty looking Buffy standing outside the door. She could have sworn Buffy had been listening at the door. What the fuck? Did Buffy actually think she had gone in there to bring up her food?

Faith was just grateful that no one had asked her how or why she had lost so much weight. She wasn't ready to share what had happened with either of them. She didn't want to regain their trust because they felt sorry for her. She didn't need anyone's pity. Not to mention, the words still didn't come easy, she was still struggling with it, and talking about it brought up not only memories of Allan but of her other ugly secrets. And that, she hadn't even begun to deal with.

She had repressed a lot of the memories, tried to deny them, pretend they weren't hers but some other Faith's. There were times though when they would catch her by surprise, it she heard a certain phrase, or saw a certain sight. Most of the time she could force the memories back into the box she had been keeping them locked up in for years; but sometimes they would escape and when they did she was caught in their grasp helpless to escape them until they finished playing out their twisted rerun, leaving her cowering in terror.

_'Shit this sucks!'_ Faith thought for about the millionth time.

After the dishes were washed and put away, Buffy announced it was time to sweep the cemeteries. She waited for the usual _shit-eating-grin_ that Faith had always given her when it was time to, _Go-A-Slaying_. Instead all Buffy got was a mumbled, _'K'_.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy had just dusted two vamps and turned in time to see Faith jumping off a tombstone and launching herself at three vampires.

Faith sensed the other vampires before she saw them. Ever since she had learned how to focus her energy, it was a rare thing when they were able to sneak up on her. She quickly staked the vamp in front of her, still loving the little poof they made when they turned to dust. She turned and saw that three vamps were trying to sneak up behind Buffy while the two Buffy was fighting occupied her. She needed to get over there fast.

Faith took off running, jumping onto the tombstone in front of her and launched herself at the three behind Buffy. She kicked one squarely in the chest sending him flying a few feet away into a tree with a satisfying thud. One she took out with a stake while still in the air and then gracefully landed on her feet like a cat. The third turned and tried to run, she kicked him in the back of the legs, sending him to his knees to land face first in the dirt. She turned and with a flick of her wrist hurled her last stake at the one by the tree who was coming at her from the side.

"Faith!"

Without even turning her head Faith caught the stake Buffy tossed her and staked the last vampire who was just getting up off the ground.

"Yee-fucking-ha!" she said under her breath. God that had felt great! Even with all that had happened, she hadn't lost the joy she felt when she was slaying. She still thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to her in her whole fucked up life. She had found a renewed pride in the fact she had been chosen and no longer thought of being called as a mistake. She was a Chosen One and she fucking loved it.

"Thanks B," she said turning around. Buffy was staring at her with a little bit of amazement and a speculative look that Faith didn't like at all.

"Welcome," Buffy said automatically. She was still thinking about what she had seen. She had intended to help the Rogue Slayer when she turned around, but had stopped in her tracks and watched instead stunned.

It was still Faith the wild child, the same Faith who was so passionate about slaying, who took pleasure, joy in it, but at the same time it wasn't. This Faith had taken out those three vamps just like, just like... _I would have._ This Faith was no longer the _slay-by-the-seat-of-your-pants_ Faith; she had achieved the focus and control they had tried to instill in her the first time she was in Sunnydale. Buffy was impressed but she would never tell Faith that.

Another thought came to Buffy as she stood there; Faith certainly hadn't hit those vamps like a girl. In fact, despite how thin she was she seemed stronger than ever before. Buffy began to wonder what game Faith had been playing at today during training. It never once crossed her mind that Faith hadn't hit her with everything she had because she didn't want to hurt her. Why should it? Buffy was now convinced more than ever, that Faith was up to something.

"Come on, let's go get something to eat."

Faith groaned at the thought of another silent, awkward meal with Buffy, but she was hungry. So she followed along after Buffy in a very unlike Faith puppy-dog way.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was fuming on her way home from the diner. Another fucking meal with Buffy watching her to make sure she ate every bite. She was surprise Buffy didn't order her to lick the goddamn plate clean. She still couldn't believe the conversation. No, not a conversation, Buffy talked and she sat there listening dumbfounded with her mouth hanging open.

"Faith"

"B," Faith said with a mouth full of food.

_Ok so I still need a little help with the manners thing._

"Here's the deal. Starting tomorrow be at my house by eight."

"Eight!" Faith squeaked.

"If you don't like it you can always leave." Buffy waited until Faith nodded her head in agreement before she continued.

"Again, be at my house at eight for breakfast. Then we will go to the Magic Shop. First Tai Chi, followed by a minimum of two hours of training. Maybe longer for you, we'll have to see what Giles thinks. Then lunch. Then you can go to the gym at least until we get some weight equipment at the shop. After the gym, shower, then dinner, then slaying, and if you don't like it you can leave, 'cause leaving is definitely still an option."

_'Fuck if Buffy didn't sound just like Wesley,'_ Faith thought.

Faith actually had to sit on her hands to keep herself from saluting. Instead, she just nodded her head in agreement.

_You forgot the fucking milk and cookies, and naptime General B!_

Hell she had, had more freedom in jail.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As each of the Chosen Two drifted off to sleep that night, it was with thoughts of the other. They would have been surprised at just how different those thought were.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Welcome again Child"

_Great there goes a good night sleep!_

"Hi," the Slayer once again found herself in the cavernous room with the Fates. She walked over to the loom and gazed down at the tapestry. She didn't think there was a word to describe the number of Life Threads there were. It staggered her mind to think that each one of them was a life. She could see where some started and ended, while others started or ended somewhere else in the Tapestry whose beginning and end was somewhere beyond the confines of the room.

The Slayer didn't doubt that the Thread of Life that was hers was frayed. She searched in the tapestry hoping to figure out which was hers, at the same time looking for the threads that belonged to the others in her life. The Slayer had a sneaky feeling that theirs too would be a little bit frayed.

"That is not for you to know yet."

"Did you just read..."

"No," Atropos said cutting her off.

_Guess even immortals can be rude._

"It is what most think about or want to know when they look upon the Tapestry."

"So why am I here this time?"

"Come sit here by me." Atropos beckoned the Slayer patting the cushion next to her.

She noticed that they were now in a small cozy sitting room. The Slayer walked over and sat down. She felt comfortable with the old woman. She had done a little research on the Q.T. about the Fates. The Slayer had discovered that while all three Fates were feared, Atropos was feared the most. She alone was the one who could end a life, be it god, immortal, demon or human. Strangely enough, the Slayer had no fear of her. She wondered if it was because she already knew her life would be short and was grateful for every sunrise she was granted by this ancient woman.

"There is a great darkness coming."

The Slayer gave the old woman the_ 'And-Your-Point-Is?'_ look.

Atropos just smiled at her, she genuinely liked the young Slayer. She was just sorry... no... it was better not to think about that.. Atropos had learned after all the years, whose numbers she herself could no longer count, it was better not to let emotions get in the way of what it was she needed to do. The last time she had done that Chaos had ensued and she promised herself to never, never do it again. While she had saved one life from a harsh destiny, thousands of others had suffered because of it.

"Yes Child I know this is nothing new to you. Unlike the other times, the emissary of the coming darkness was not a _'God'_. She, Glory, as she now calls herself, cannot be defeated in the same way as the others."

"You know who she is?! What can you tell me about her?"

"What I know about Glory is not for you to know."

"Yet?" The Slayer asked hopefully.

"No Child, I wish that I could, but I cannot. I can only tell, what I can tell." Atropos saw the puzzlement on the Slayer's face.

"In other words, I cannot directly tell you anything. In the end it is still up to you how you use or what you do with the knowledge I do give you and the things I can tell you."

_'Oh great, this is like a prophecy, I hate those even more than Slayer dreams,'_ the Slayer groaned to herself.

Atropos smiled, amused at the Slayer's expression, and again as if reading her mind said;

"Yes this works much like a prophecy! But time grows short and I still haven't told you what I need to tell you. Know that this time you cannot win by yourself alone. You will need the help of others."

"Whose help?"

"You will know who to choose when the time comes."

"But..."

Atropos just smiled, nodded, and faded away into the darkness.

The Slayer was once more in her own bed dreaming of the other half of the Chosen Two.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...The crystal tears ~ Are sliding down again ~ Your moonlit cheeks ~ And soaking silken lips ~ If this pain is so real ~ There's a hand that someday must heal ~ And give us the words ~ That time steals and won't let us Say – Sixpence None the Richer

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	8. VII - Need To Be Next To You

VII – Need To Be Next To You

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I've run from these feelings for so long ~ Telling my heart I didn't mean it ~ Pretending that I was better off alone ~ But I know that it's just a lie ~ So afraid of taking a chance again ~ So afraid of what I'd feel inside...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was beginning to reach the end of her rope. She hadn't a clue what to do. Today was the first day of her fifth week in good old Sunnyhell. The only things she had to be thankful for, was the gym equipment Giles had gotten for her within the first four days of her arrival, and that she was staying at the mansion instead of the shitty motel on the edge of town like the first time.

Faith sighed, her daily routine under the ever watchful, ever bitchy, ever critical, ever self-righteous, pain-in-the-the-ass, stay-at-arms-length - _Did I miss anything? Oh yeah! -_ controlling eye of **'GB'** - _General B -_ was fast becoming one of her new mantras.

With another sigh, something Faith seemed to be doing a lot of over the last few weeks; she picked up a handheld dumbbell and began doing bicep-curls.

_Might as well lift while waiting for B._

Unconsciously she chanted with each repetition another of her new mantra's: **Eat - Tai Chi – Eat - Train - Eat – Slay – Eat – Sleep then Eat - Tai Chi – Eat - Train - Eat – Slay – Eat - Sleep **and so forth, and so on, forever and a day. Amen. All praise General B!

She switched arms and changed to yet another of her new mantra: **Yes B – No B – Anything you say B – Whatever B, you're the boss – I'll try harder B – You're right B, I'm wrong – Let me kiss your ass B - **_Hmm now that I wouldn't mind! -_ and so forth, and so on, forever and a day. Amen. All praise General B!

Nothing seemed to be working. If anything, the distance between them had grown. The only time there was any kind of connection between them at all was when they were doing Tai Chi and it was only because of that, Faith hadn't completely given up hope. In the hour or so that they did the exercises together, there was a connection, a trust that they had never had before. Faith knew that Buffy was only allowing it because she had not once tried to abuse the connection in any way. All she had done was share her center, her tranquility with Buffy, lending Buffy her strength, giving Buffy her own peace and calm.

The very second they finished though, it was back behind the wall for Buffy. If that wall had been a physical thing, Faith would have torn it apart with her bare hands by now. Even their slaying together was affected. While they still worked well together, it was almost like Buffy was keeping one eye on the vamps and the other on Faith to make sure she didn't stake her in the back. If Faith didn't like her own hair so much she would have ripped it out of her head by now.

Hell, even the Scoobs had started calling her _General B_ after hearing Faith call her that under her breath. That was the other thing that was grating on Faith's nerves, the way she was treating the Scoobs. Treating them more like her private army - _Must be Beefstick leftovers!_ - rather than her friends. She was pushing them away and they were starting to let her.

Faith tried to interfere by taking Buffy's attention off the Scoobs and getting her to take out whatever on her instead. She was an expert at directing the blame at herself, she had learned at a young age how to do it. One of the perks of growing up with Ozzie and Harriet. Most of the times it worked, Faith had become the person to blame for just about everything. In the process though, it had widened the gap between her and Buffy even more. At least, she had kept the distance between Buffy and the Scoobs down. If she hadn't been here the Scoobs might have stopped talking to Buffy by now.

Faith had also tried subtlety to tell Buffy what she was doing. But she wasn't a wordsmith, she didn't have the know-how. Mending bridges wasn't something she had ever tried to do before. Most of the time Buffy either ignored her, accused her of playing some kind of mind game, or just got plain old pissed off at Faith, telling her to; _'Mind her own business, she didn't need help from someone the likes of her.'_

She needed to think about something else, she was getting nowhere fast with this, just endlessly circling. So she thought about her training sessions with Buffy. Which inevitability led her to thoughts of touching Buffy. She felt a rush of desire course through her body. There were times when they were training that Faith would get distracted just looking at her. When that happened she would usually end up on her back with Buffy sitting on her, her fist inches from Faith's heart with an imaginary stake poised for the final kill. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing having that tight little body sitting on her, feeling the heat of Buffy's core on her stomach, the smell of Buffy's arousal filling her senses.

Buffy got off on it the training; the slaying, the whole nine yards, no matter how much she tried to deny it. Faith had been dead serious when she had said that slaying made her _'Hungry and horny'_, she knew that Buffy felt it too; she was just too much of a _Miss-Goody-Two-Shoes_ to admit it. It had to be a part of their Slayer make up, the adrenaline rush, the heightened senses, the quicksilver reflexes; it was like everything was on hyper-drive. Faith sighed wishing that arousal was for her. She was worried that she was going to do something stupid one of these times, the urge to touch Buffy, to kiss her was becoming harder and harder to suppress.

Right now though, she needed to stop thinking about this before Buffy came back. She could smell her own arousal the thoughts had invoked and she knew damn well that Buffy would be able to as well. She sure as shit didn't want to have to explain it.

Something had to give soon; She just hoped it wasn't her sanity. She sighed and laid back on the weight bench putting her forearms over her eyes and sighed again. She would have been surprised at how similar the thoughts Buffy's was having about her at the moment were.

Buffy was sitting in Giles office with her feet propped up on his desk. She knew if he came in right now and saw her that he would give her his famous look of disapproval, but she wasn't worried about that right now. Her thoughts were focused entirely on Faith. A familiar shock of desire ran through her at the thought of the Rogue Slayer.

At first, she had tried to brush it off, when she realized what it was she was feeling. Then she tried to blame it on the whole, _slaying_ thing. Though she would never admit it to anyone, Faith had been right about slaying making you _'Hungry and horny_. She couldn't blame it just on the slaying anymore though, because now she got aroused just by being in the same room with Faith. She didn't know how much longer she could keep denying the lust she felt for the Dark Slayer. How much longer could she keep it from showing when she looked at Faith?

The problem Buffy was having with this wasn't that Faith was a woman, it was because it was, simply, Faith. The same Faith, she still didn't know if she could trust. The same Faith, who she still wasn't sure had changed. Wasn't sure if she would go back to the dark side again even if she had changed. The same Faith, who she was still angry with over what had happened in the past. She knew Faith felt the same way about her; she could smell the desire for her on Faith. Well, she was almost positive it was for her. Sometimes having Slayer senses didn't help things at all.

Desire, she reluctantly admitted to herself, that she had felt for Faith from the very first time she had seen her. Just desire, lust, that was all, nothing else, it was all she was willing or capable of admitting to right now.

Maybe it did have something to do with both of them being Slayers, two halves of the same whole, had something to do with the connection they shared. Denial seemed to be becoming second nature to Buffy lately, she knew it, but she denied it.

How could she feel desire for Faith on one hand and almost hate her on the other? The conflict confused and scared the hell out of her.

Buffy had let the distance between them grow, instead of confronting her feelings for Faith, had continued to try to push them down. Had started taking out all of her anger on Faith. Had become mean, nasty and even more controlling. She had in effect become Faith's new jailer.

She realized in a vague way that she really wasn't even giving the Rogue Slayer a chance to prove she had changed. All this effort to keep her at arm's length, because Buffy couldn't, wouldn't, confront or control her own lust for Faith.

Faith had become the scapegoat for all of Buffy's pain. The only time there was peace between them was when they did their Tai Chi, it was the only time that Buffy allowed herself to be open to anything the Rogue Slayer had to offer. Then Buffy took them right back to where they had started, her behind the wall, clothed once again in the armor she used to seal herself off from the world, and Faith out on the peripheral of Buffy's world.

This wasn't her, not the Buffy she had always been, and she was shutting down more every day. In some ways, she felt like she was losing her humanity. Buffy also knew it wasn't just Faith that she was closing herself off from, it was everyone else as well. If was as if she couldn't stop herself, as if someone else was controlling her actions, pulling the strings. Or was this just a convenient excuse, one she could use to keep denying what her heart and soul already knew?

With a sigh, Buffy got up from the chair. It was time to train, something she didn't really desire to do anymore, but did because it was an excuse to touch Faith. With another sigh, she headed back towards the training room.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They had been circling each other for what felt like hours, Faith was beginning to get dizzy, so was Buffy for that matter. In the past hour neither one had been able to get an edge. They had been keeping each other at arm's length by using kicks almost exclusively. It was almost like they were afraid to get within a foot of each other. Perhaps both a little afraid that if they did they would give into the urges each was feeling for the other. They echoed each other's thoughts, wondering what kind of game the other was playing.

The Chosen Two had become extremely frustrated with each other.

Buffy watched Faith as they circled. She loved the way Faith moved, she reminded her of a cat, a panther to be exact. Sleek, graceful, and sensuous. She reeked sensuality. It was in her every gesture, in her every look, the sound of her low, raspy voice and Buffy was so aroused by the sight of her right now it was almost painful. She loved the way her muscles seem to undulate and ripple when she moved. She wanted to feel them move under her hands. She saw the sweat glistening on Faith's skin and wanted to know its taste.

Faith was watching Buffy too. That tight, little, gorgeous, lithe body. As her pert breasts rose and fell with each breath. Faith knew that they would fit perfectly in her hands. Her gazed traveled down to her flat stomach, then to the junction between Buffy's legs. She had to suppress a groan of desire at the thought of what was hidden from her sight by those tight, tiny shorts. She let her gaze travel lazily back up to Buffy's face and she could swear that the way Buffy was looking at her was...

**_Hungry!_**

Faith was going to explode from the lust that look sent quickening through her whole body.

Something or someone needed to give soon.

Faith broke the silence, patience was not one of her many virtues, she was actually surprised she had lasted this long. "Come on already, B, make your move." Faith's voice was low, raspy, and thick with her desire. "Or don't you think you can handle me?"

The double meaning of her words she saw weren't, for once, lost on Buffy. A part of her couldn't believe what she had just said. But it was out there now, and she wasn't going to try and cover it up. The ball was in Buffy's court, the gauntlet had been thrown, and the only question was: Would Buffy accept the challenge?

Apparently not.

Buffy smiled a predatory smile at Faith. In the blink of an eye she brought her knee out to the side and extending her foot, swung her knee forward, pivoting on the ball of her bottom foot, extending her lower leg sharply, and tried to hit Faith with a roundhouse kick.

Instead of trying to evade the kick, Faith came right at Buffy and tackled her, knocking Buffy onto her back on the floor. Faith came down right on top of her. Buffy grabbed Faith and flipped her off and to the side. She quickly rolled over on top of Faith, pinning both of Faith's arms to the ground with her hands. She ended up kneeling over Faith a knee on either side of Faith's thighs.

Buffy's Slayer strength, combined with her weight kept Faith from getting her arms free. So, Faith tried to buck Buffy off her. Raising her hips up hard, she only succeeded in pressing herself intimately into Buffy. She had to bite her lip to keep from groaning aloud at the heat the contact generated in her. In a panic, she tried to dislodge her again.

Buffy's head was lowered, her hair hiding her face from Faith. The feeling of Faith's core as she pressed up against her so intimately playing total havoc with Buffy's hormones. She was breathing heavily, trying to get herself under control. She almost won too, until Faith tried to buck her off again. This time she gave up the fight, letting her lust finally win, and with a low, husky moan followed the Rogue Slayer's hips with her own as they lowered back to the ground.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy raised her head up to look at Faith, and the look she gave Faith was purely carnal. Faith gasped when she saw that look. Unbelieving, Faith felt as Buffy followed her lowering hips, not letting the contact between their heat end. Buffy started to slide her body up onto Faith, while moving Faiths arms until they were stretched over her head.

_I've got to be fucking dreaming! No way is B doing this!_

But she knew it wasn't a dream the second she felt Buffy's mouth on hers. There was nothing gentle, caring, or loving about the kiss. It was hard and hot. All the pent-up lust Buffy had been feeling was in the kiss. Faith was shocked at first, to the point where she didn't even kiss her back. Then Buffy plunged her tongue into her mouth, and Faith wildly returned the kiss, moaning into Buffy's mouth. Buffy increased the pressure of the kiss when Faith moaned. Then it was her turn to moan as Faith's tongue began to duel with her own.

Her hands somehow got tangled up in Faith's hair. Faith arms came around her pulling her even tighter to her if that was at all possible. She had never wanted someone as much as she wanted Faith right now, not even Angel.

Buffy felt Faith begin to trace delicate patterns on her back with the tips of her fingers. She began trembling, deepening their kiss even further. She felt Faith run her hand up to the back of her neck, the lifting glove rough against her skin. She wanted to know the feel of Faith's hands against her skin.

_'Gloves off, now!'_ she thought.

Reluctantly Buffy broke off the kiss to tell Faith just that.

"Faith..."

Buffy didn't even recognize her own voice, it was so deep and throaty.

"Buffy, Faith, come out here straight away!" Giles yelled from the shop.

"Fuck me!" Faith groaned out, her and her fucking luck, just once she would like to catch a break. Buffy just smiled at Faith and raised an eyebrow as she rose from her onto shaky legs. She held out a hand to help Faith up when she saw she was having trouble standing. It seemed Faith's legs were just as shaky as her own.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The Slayers rushed into the shop. Both were hoping that everyone would assume their flushed faces and heavy breathing were from training. They made the mistake of standing next to Anya.

"Oh!" Anya said her nostrils flaring. She stared so hard at the two Slayers they both turned a brighter shade of red. She smirked at them, looking from one to the other enjoying watching them squirm. For once, she thought it was best to keep her mouth shut; it was more fun watching them fidget under her gaze.

"What's up G-Man?" At Faith's husky voice, Buffy felt a shiver of desire shoot down her spine. Much to her chagrin, she saw that Anya didn't miss the slight tremble.

Buffy tried to focus on what Giles was telling them. There seemed to be a new demon horde taking up residence somewhere in Sunnydale's extensive sewer system. He had information that there where ten members of this particular clan. Giles thought it was best that the Slayers split up into different teams, this way they could cover twice as much of the sewers. Everything else was to be put on hold until they had found the demons and dispatched them.

For the next two days, the Chosen Two did not get a minute, nay, a second to be alone together. They practically spent those two days living in the sewers.

Faith returned to the Magic Shop with Willow and Tara on the second day for their eight p.m. check-in. They had spent the last four hours between check-ins looking for the remaining demon and had no luck at all.

"Good you're back. Buffy found the last demon about an hour ago."

All three girls gave a sigh of relief; they were all tired of trudging around in the slime of the sewer and smelling like something the cat dragged in.

"I've got to shower before slaying. Can you tell Buffy I'll meet her here in an hour G-Man?"

"That won't be necessary Faith. I decided after the last two grueling days that everyone could use a night off."

"K, thanks G-Man." Grumbling under her breath, it was going to be a long lonely night at the mansion, Faith ran into the back to grab her stuff.

She knew she would spend the night sitting around thinking about that kiss of two days ago. That hot, wet, kiss.

_Down girl. Ahhhhhh! This sucks! Got to get out of here!_

Faith ran out of the training room before her thoughts and her body got any more out of control.

"G'night all, see you tomorrow." Faith was out the door before they even had a chance to respond.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Faith, wait for."

Faith turned around at Tara's voice. She saw the two witches running to catch up to her.

"What's up, G-Man change his mind about the night off?" She asked when they reached her. She hoped that she would at least have enough time to go home and shower the stench of the sewer from her. She could use a cold shower too while she was at it.

"We're going over to the Bronze tonight." Tara started to stutter a little under the piercing gaze of the Dark Slayer. "W-w-e thought you might want to ah, j-oin us."

For a second Faith thought they were fucking with her, but she knew Tara wasn't like that. Tara was the only one who wasn't overtly hostile to her. Considering how nasty Faith had been to her the first time they had met when she had been in Buffy's body it had surprised her the whole non-hostility thing; and that wasn't even counting the fact that Tara was Red's girl. It further surprised her that she would like to hang out with the two witches, but she knew Buffy would flip if she went out partying, even if it was only to the Bronze.

"Don't worry about General B, we'll handle her." Surprising Faith even further since it was Willow who had spoken.

"We'll just tell her it was our way of torturing you, forcing you to hang out with us." Willow said with a conspiratorial grin.

_'Wow, blow my mind Red's actually smiling at me,'_ Faith thought to herself, and returned the grin in kind.

"Just meet us at our place when you're ready." The two Wicca's turned and headed in the direction of home, while Faith practically ran all the way back to the mansion.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Little by little over the weeks, Tara had been helping Willow to see the changes in Faith. Tara had told her that yes, Faith still had a dark side, in fact, everyone had a dark side. The only difference between an evil and good person was that one had let the dark side control them, while the other had not. This was nothing new; Willow knew this from her own experience with _'Vamp Willow.'_ Hell, she had even been approached about becoming a _'Vengeance Demon.'_ The only difference between she and Faith was that Willow had never really given into her dark side.

Willow had to wonder if they all hadn't helped a little to push Faith over to the dark side. As much as she liked to try to tell herself that Faith was all to blame she couldn't. She had been jealous of Faith, jealous of that whole it's a _'Slayer Thing'_ between the two Slayers. She had felt like she was losing her place in Buffy's life after Faith had come along. The fact that at the time she had a secret crush on Buffy probably hadn't helped either. She had underestimated her own relationship with Buffy.

Willow knew she could have tried harder to reach out to Faith the first time around, could have treated her like she was a friend instead of an outsider. Had she ever even invited the Rogue Slayer to her home? No, she had let her spend her nights alone; eating take-out in the shitty motel Faith had called home. She had reached out to Faith in friendship, with a helping hand, but only half-heartedly, because deep down Willow had thought that Faith wasn't good enough to be one of them.

It wasn't until Willow had met Tara that she began to understand the connection thing between Faith and Buffy. Willow and Tara shared that same type of connection, theirs being a _'Witch's Thing.'_ She had begun to see her actions for what they really were after that, but by then it was too late. Faith had already slipped over to the dark side.

Over the last weeks, Willow had been covertly watching the Dark Slayer, paying attention to her actions, her words. She had been reserving her judgment. Between what Tara pointed out to her, but did not try to influence in any way, and from what she had observed, it seemed the Dark Slayer really had changed. She had still been a little unsure until she had spent almost all of the last thirty hours straight with the Dark Slayer hunting demons in the sewer. She had no doubt in her mind now that Faith had changed; now all she had to do was help Buffy see that too.

She chuckled to herself at the memory of the surprised look on Tara's face when she had suggested that they invite Faith to go with them to the Bronze tonight. Willow turned and smiled at her lover; Faith had just called and said she would be an hour or so.

_Hmmm, a lot could happen in an hour, oh yeah!_

Tara looked up and smiled at her lover as she approached her, within a few minutes she was wearing that surprised look for the second time that day.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy walked into the Bronze and headed straight for their usual table. She had been surprised when Willow and Tara had called and told her they were all going to go to the Bronze to hang out, relax, have a little fun. They had even gone so far as to get Giles to agree to watch Dawn for the night so Buffy wouldn't have to worry about getting in late.

Buffy had no intention of going to the Bronze, but she was going to take advantage of Giles offer, she had another destination altogether in mind. That was until Willow told her that Faith was going with them, and by the tone of her voice Buffy could tell that Willow had on her _'Resolve Face'_ which brooked no resistance.

She said her hello's, told Xander what she wanted to drink, then he and Anya left her with just the two witches. Buffy turned towards the dance floor her eyes unerringly finding Faith. Buffy's eyes traveled lazily over the Rogue Slayer. Taking in the skintight black, hip-hugger leather pants, up to the equally tight, sleeveless black spandex top. She wasn't surprised when Faith turned and looked directly at her.

Faith felt Buffy's eyes on her the second they started their lazy travel over her body. She turned, locking eyes with Buffy. Another song came on, a little slower than the one before. She started to move in time with the music, her eyes never leaving Buffy's face. Her hips gyrating, she slowly ran her hands down her own breasts seeming to pause slightly, then continuing their decent over her flat stomach, stopping just shy of the junction between her legs. Her eyes locked on Buffy she slowly ran her hands down lower to the inside of her thighs then back up again over her stomach, up over her breasts pausing again briefly, then continuing up to tangle in her own raven tresses.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Their eyes blazed at each other from across the room as Faith walked off the dance floor when the song ended.

"Hey." Faith looked into Buffy's eyes and for once saw something other than the ice she had grown accustomed to over the last weeks.

"Hey back."

"Nice show Faith. Might want to think about that as a second career."

Faith shot Xander a look. She had tried to apologize to him, but he was unwilling to accept it, and Faith had backed off giving him time. He made it very clear he didn't like having her around. That he was just tolerating her until Buffy caught her at her new game and kicked her ass out of Sunnydale.

"Ooops, looks like I forgot your drink Faith. So sorry."

"Whatever Xand, need to use the ladies anyway, anyone else want?"

_Sure is good to be part of the gang again. I must have been crazy coming here. B sure does look hot in those red leather pants though._

Buffy was half a step behind Faith, she slipped through the bathroom door and had Faith pinned up against it before she even knew what hit her.

_Fuck now I know I dreamed this whole thing!_

But that hot mouth was on hers again. Wet, demanding, kissing her like there was no tomorrow.

Buffy held Faith fiercely against the closed door, pressing her body into her. Faith's mouth opened for her kiss, her tongue meeting with Buffy's wildly. They battled each other for dominance of the kiss, neither winning, neither losing, neither backing down.

Incredibly, Faith felt Buffy's hand slide up to cup her breast. She pulled her mouth away and leaned her head back against the door arching into Buffy's touch, groaning deep in her throat.

Buffy took advantage of Faith's exposed neck, placing tiny kisses, and scraping her teeth along its length. Faith's nipple harden under her hand, and when she realized that Faith didn't have a bra on, she slid her hand down, then up and under Faith's shirt.

Faith thought her knees were going to buckle at the touch of Buffy's hot hand against her flesh. She put her hand behind Buffy's neck and pulled her back up to her for another kiss. She captured Buffy's lower lip and nipped it, running her tongue over it, then into her mouth to run along her teeth.

Buffy leaned up into Faith trying to deepen the kiss, but Faith wouldn't let her, she just kept on teasing her with light touches of her tongue, hovering close, and pulling away. She pressed further into Faith, moving a thigh in between her legs and pressing up into her. She smiled when she heard Faith gasp.

She rolled Faith's nipple between her fingers, pulling on it, raking her nails lightly over it, and was rewarded with another moan from Faith. She brought up her other hand to the small of Faith's back, bringing her hips forward and sliding Faith's core along her thigh. She felt the heat of Faith on her thigh and she wanted, needed, to feel, to touch that heat.

Buffy slid her hand around and drew teasing patterns on Faith's stomach, leaving Faith trembling in her wake. It was a second before Faith realized that Buffy's hand had dipped down below the waistband of her leather pants. She grabbed Buffy's arm, stopping her from going any further. She couldn't believe she was stopping her, she had been dreaming of Buffy touching her for over two years now.

_Definitely too many hits to the head._

"Faith?" Buffy looked up into those big brown eyes and saw the same lust she knew was in hers staring right back at her.

"B... I... won't be able... one touch... too close... over the edge... too fast... too soon... Fuck I..." Faith trailed off at the ravenous look Buffy gave her.

"What's that you always say Faith?" The smile Buffy gave her was wicked; fuck, it was downright evil.

"Want." Buffy's hand moved an inch or two lower as she said it.

"Take." Another few inches lower.

"Have."

Faith surged up as Buffy's hand delved into her. As her hot little fingers found her clit and teased it. Buffy moaned as she felt how wet Faith was. She slid her hand in further, popping open the buttons on Faith's pants with her forearm. She nudged the Rogue Slayer's legs further apart, and plunged two fingers into her, rubbing her clit in circular motions with her thumb.

"B... don't... Oh Shit B!..." and then she was coming so hard her knees did buckle, her body trembling with the force of it. She screamed out Buffy's name once, twice.

Buffy continued to stroke her until she was sure that Faith had nothing left to give.

She softly smiled at Faith.

"Been saving that for a while Faith?" For once there was nothing malicious in her tone, instead there was a little bit of amazement in it. Amazement at the effect she had on the raven-haired Slayer.

"Since the day I met you B." Faith said softy, almost shyly.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Those softly spoken words sent Buffy into a tailspin. She had not expected them, did not know how to respond to them. Didn't even know if she could respond to them. Couldn't even believe what had just happened between them in the bathroom of the Bronze.

Instead of saying anything, Buffy gently gathered the still trembling raven-haired Slayer into her arms.

They stayed that way, silent, at peace, warm in each other's arms...

...until the insistent pounding on the door broke the moment between the two Slayers.

Faith was not willing to let the moment go so quickly. The embrace meant more to her than any caress, any word ever had before. Gently she reached up and touched Buffy's face. She looked into those hazel eyes, leaned down and kissed Buffy. With more tenderness, delicacy, gentleness, and love than anyone had ever kissed Buffy before.

A little more of that wall could be heard crumbling.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy went back to the table alone while Faith went and got them drinks. Anya was staring at her intently, making her uncomfortable. Buffy had to consciously keep herself from fidgeting under her stare.

"Been gone a long time Buff-ster."

"Long line, you know as in a very long line, stood there for a very, very long time, had to wait, no cutting, cutting is bad.." Buffy snapped her mouth shut when she realized she was babbling.

Faith returned to the table in time to catch the tail-end of Buffy's babbling. She handed Buffy her drink, accidentally brushing their arms. Buffy jumped at the contact, her arm on fire, her insides quivering from Faith's accidental touch.

Almost dropping her drink, Faith put it down quickly, her hand had started trembling the second she had touched Buffy and she hadn't missed Buffy's reaction to her touch either.

_Ain't we the calm, cool, and collected pair._

Faith started to chuckle at the thought until she looked up to see Anya staring at them. The look Anya was giving them left not a single doubt in either Slayers mind that Anya knew exactly why they had been gone for so long. They would have been hard pressed to fool the twelve-hundred-year-old ex-demon, whose only thoughts twenty-four-seven were about money and orgasms.

Anya turned and gave Xander a voracious look; obviously, she found the thought of the two Slayers together exciting. He was going to be in for a very long night.

After seeing the look Anya gave Xander, Faith did chuckle, low and throaty. Wouldn't he be pissed if he found out that his up and coming orgasmic night was in part due to Faith and Buffy?

"What's so funny?"

"Tell you later." Faith said it so low that only Buffy with her Slayer hearing heard her, and the way she had said _'later'_ carried with it a promise of more than just talk.

_Later, want later now!_

"Buffy, Faith, come, join, sit" Willow patted the cushion on the couch next to her.

Both Slayers eyed the small amount of space left on the couch. They would practically have to sit on each other's laps for both of them to fit. Not that either one of them didn't think that the idea had merit, but if the bathroom was any indication, the Bronze would be treated to a very, very public display of affection. Almost reluctantly, the Slayers walked over to join the two witches.

"Go ahead B you sit."

"No that's all right you sit."

"Nah, I don't mind standing B."

"Sit Faith! Sit!"

"What am I a dog now?"

"Oh for Goddess sake! Buffy you sit on the couch." Willow pointed, in total _'Resolve Face,'_ not missing the smirk Faith shot Buffy's way.

"And Faith, you can sit on the arm of the couch if you aren't comfortable squishing in." Faith didn't move she just crossed her arms and shook her head no.

**_"NOW!"_** Willow smiled in satisfaction when she saw Faith jump a little, and then sit on the arm of the couch.

"Never mess with _'Resolve Face Willow'_ Faith. Even the vamps fear her." Buffy said feigning terror.

Tara had been watching the exchange between the Slayers. Something was different. She couldn't put her finger on it, couldn't really get a sense of what it was, she just knew it. Another one of her _'feelings,'_ but before she could figure it out, she got distracted by Willow in _'Resolve Face.'_ Tara would never tell her but she thought Willow looked cute as hell when she wore that face.

Tara turned her eyes back to the two Slayers and gasped. Faith was sitting on the arm of the couch, leaning her weight on the hand that was gripping the back of the couch. Buffy's hair was brushing against Faith's arm. Tara could almost swear that Faith was running her thumb lightly back and forth across the bottom of the nape of Buffy's neck, but the lighting in the Bronze was to dim making it hard to see.

Then it came at her all at once; with a force so strong it made Tara catch her breath. What she was sensing from the two Slayers, almost overpowered her, Tara felt her whole body become flushed. The glimmer of understanding she had gotten the day she had seen the two Slayers doing Tai Chi together now became a tiny flame of light.

"Holy shit!" Tara said under her breath.

Tara felt Faith's gaze on her after her utterance. She looked into the Dark Slayer's eyes, which were pleading with her. For the first time, since Tara had known Faith, she saw a glimpse of happiness in Faith's eyes. Tara knew just like she always knew things, that happiness was not something Faith had experienced a whole hell of a lot of in her lifetime.

When Tara had looked up at her, Faith knew Tara had one of her _'feelings.'_ Panic rose in her and she gripped the back of the couch so hard she was afraid she was going to break it. Willow might be starting to forgive her or at least tolerate her, but Faith knew there was no way in hell she would accept this, whatever this turned out to be between her and Buffy. With her eyes she pleaded with Tara, knowing the witch would understand what she was asking. Faith was asking a lot, she knew that, asking Tara to keep her, their, secret from Willow, but she asked with her eyes anyway.

_Please, please, please, just a chance a little luck for once, please, please!_

The smile Tara gave her was both understanding and caring. She nodded her head in assent just to make sure Faith understood she would keep her secret. Faith let out the breath she didn't even realize she was holding and relaxed again. Falling back into the sensations of Buffy's hair against her arm, and the softness of Buffy's skin under her thumb.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It was the longest night of both the Slayers lives. Buffy was slowly going crazy just from the touch of Faith's thumb stroking the nape of her neck. Her whole body was tingling; little streaks of heat running through her veins. Her whole being was centered on that faint touch. More than once during the long, hellish, stimulating night, she had considered becoming _'Cave-Girl-Buffy' _and just throwing Faith over her shoulder and making off with her into the night. She had almost done it too, when Faith had leaned down, reaching for her drink from the low coffee table and whispered into her ear so low, hot, and raspy, only for her Slayer hearing:

"I want to touch you so bad it hurts. I want to hear you scream my name the way I screamed yours."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy almost started clapping in ecstasy when Xander and Anya rose to leave.

"Well all, it has been... well... just been, we are off to our happy little home."

"Yes home, where Xander can give me multiple orgasms." Anya looked from one Slayer to the other as she spoke.

"Anya!"

"Well you are, aren't you Xander?"

"Sorry!" Xander said sheepishly. "Good night." He dragged Anya away before she could say anything more.

"EWW! I so did not need to know that, T.M.I, EWW! Did I say EWW?" All four women laughed.

"We should be heading home too honey, early classes and all."

"Buffy you going to walk back with us?" Faith held her breath while she waited for Buffy to answer Willow's question.

"Um, sure Willow." Buffy saw Faith's shoulders droop a little at her words. _Shit!_

Quickly she rushed out;

"_Gonnasweepthecememtarytoo._ Wanna come, Faith?"

Buffy was rewarded with that all too familiar _'Shit-Eating-Faith-Grin,'_ only this time it had nothing to do with slaying.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

This time it was Buffy whose back was pressed up against the door. Faith had pinned her against the door before it was even closed. The door had slammed shut with such force a picture had fallen off the wall.

Faith was holding Buffy's arms up over her head. She was raining hard, then soft, wet kisses along Buffy's arched neck. Licking and nibbling, leaving tiny little love bites, she knew would be gone by morning thanks to their Slayer healing. She ran her tongue up the length of Buffy's neck to her ear, catching and biting Buffy's earlobe with her teeth. She groaned in response to Buffy's low, long moan at her touch.

Although Faith would die before ever admitting it, she was a nervous wreck. She wanted Buffy to feel the same way Buffy had made her feel earlier tonight. She was terrified she might not be able to.

Buffy was arching her body off the door in an effort to get any kind of contact with Faith's body, which Faith was so cruelly withholding from her. The hot, wet, teasing kisses that Faith was lavishing on her face and neck were driving her insane. It was another form of torture, just like that faint touching at the nape of her neck at the Bronze tonight. Those little streaks of fire that had been running through her veins had turned into a raging inferno.

"Please!" She whimpered.

Faith looked into those hazel eyes. In them, she saw desire so strong that any thoughts she had of not being able to please Buffy flew from her mind. With a wolfish grin, she let go of Buffy's hands and slid her own hands down to Buffy's hips. She picked Buffy up, silently thanking whomever for her Slayer strength.

Buffy wrapped her legs so tightly around Faith's waist she almost squeezed all the breath from her. She arched herself further into Faith using her shoulders for leverage against the door, trying to get more pressure against her achingly wet core.

Faith looked down and saw Buffy's breasts thrusting up towards her. Not caring about the consequence she grabbed Buffy's shirt and ripped it open, buttons flying everywhere. A millisecond before she tore off Buffy's bra too, Faith saw the clasp in the front. She unhooked it, freeing those gorgeous breasts to her gaze.

Mumbling, _'Sorry 'bout shirt,'_ she leaned down and captured one harden nipple in her mouth. Her hands came around to hold Buffy at the small of her back. She continued her assault on Buffy's breast, sucking her nipple into her mouth; lightly flicking its tip with her tongue as she moved away from the door stumbling towards the couch.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They fell into a heap on the couch. Faith sat back onto her calves, and smiled when she heard Buffy's moan of protest. Reaching out she unbuttoned Buffy's leather pants; slowly she slid them down taking her underwear with them. Rising from the couch, she pulled them from Buffy, taking her boots and socks off with the pants and dropping them in a pile on the floor at her feet.

Faith gazed down at the vision before her. Even her wildest dreams hadn't prepared her for the sight before her, she couldn't even think of words to describe it. It simply made her catch her breath.

With a hand on each ankle, Faith, with painstakingly slowness began to slide her hands up Buffy's legs.

"Faith." Buffy gasped. "Off... gloves... need to feel your hands... oh god please."

Faith had forgotten about the lifting gloves that over the months had become a part of her anatomy. She ripped them from her hands, forgetting for the first time the reasons why she wore them. Buffy wouldn't have noticed in any case.

She once again started her agonizing assent up Buffy's legs, sometimes using the whole of her hands, sometimes just the tips of her fingers. The heat coming from Buffy amazed her. The scent of Buffy's arousal, strong and sweet, filled every part of Faith with longing.

As Faith's hands reached her thighs, they dipped inward and Buffy parted her legs wide giving Faith total freedom. A part of her surprised at the wantonness of her own actions. Faith knelt on the couch between Buffy legs and Buffy nearly jumped out of her skin as Faith's hands lightly skimmed her core. Continuing their slow, torturous assent, Faith's hands moved across her stomach, over her breasts, her neck, finally to come to rest on Buffy's face.

Growling Buffy pulled Faith down to her roughly. Straining up towards her, she kissed Faith with so much passion that in reaction Faith began grinding herself into Buffy.

Buffy wrapped her legs around Faith's hips trying to bring her down into her even more, desperate to get more pressure against her throbbing center.

God she couldn't take this anymore! This craving that had begun two long days ago with their first kiss, then escalating out of control when she had first touched, no first seen Faith at the Bronze. Then the waiting in the club, which had felt like hours upon hours of foreplay, the thumb upon her neck promising but giving no relief.

Buffy started to whimper with each circular motion of Faith's center against her own, but the leather pants, slick now with her own wetness only teased, offering no release.

Faith wrenched her mouth away from Buffy's when her whimpering finally reached her through her own haze of passion. Her own desire had quickly spiraled out of control.

"God." She panted, her own passion rose even higher when she saw Buffy looking at her with such blatant need.

"Please... Faith. Touch me."

Faith reached behind her and grabbed one of Buffy's legs from her hip. She pulled Buffy's leg down flat and moved over her, straddling Buffy's thigh. With a feather light touch, she drifted her hand down towards Buffy's center.

Faith's hand slid down into the junction between Buffy's thighs, her hand soaked instantly by the golden-haired Slayer.

"So... wet... Jesus B... you feel so good..." Faith moaned as Buffy drove herself up forcefully into her hand.

Faith began nimbly to trace every part of Buffy's center, never stopping in one spot for long. Glancing over her engorged clit, circling it once, twice, before moving down further to slip her fingers into Buffy just beyond her entrance.

Faith felt Buffy straining up trying to force her fingers into her deeper, sobbing in need, mumbling under her breath, _'please oh please.'_ Suddenly Faith plunged her fingers into Buffy as deep as they could go.

"_FAITH!_"

Faith began a slow, steady rhythm, grinning wickedly when Buffy tried to force her to increase the rhythm. She brought her other hand down, and began teasing Buffy's clit, her touches light, with no real pressure.

Buffy didn't know how much more she could take. Faith was torturing her bringing her right to the edge then pulling her back.

Over and over.

Again and again.

Buffy was begging, pleading, threatening, back to begging again. She grabbed Faith's arm and tried to force Faith's hand where she wanted it to be, in the end she was clinging onto Faith's arm for dear life.

Faith watched Buffy from under hooded eyes; she had never seen anything as wild, untamed, and beautiful as Buffy was right now. She finally relented.

She began applying pressure slowly, steadily to Buffy's clit, increasing the rhythm of her thrusting fingers, bringing Buffy right up to the edge, hanging there...

waiting...

"Don't stop... oh god please... don't Faith please..." She was sobbing, one touch that was all she needed, just one touch.

"Open your eyes... Please B... I... need to see you."

Buffy struggled to open her desire-laden eyes and looked up into eyes that hid absolutely nothing from her gaze.

Then Faith took her over the edge. Buffy arched up off the couch so hard that Faith was afraid she would break in half.

Buffy screamed Faith's name.

It was primal.

It was music to Faith's ears.

The strength of Buffy's orgasm was so intense it frightened her. So out of her control that she almost pulled back from it in fear. Then she heard Faith whispering to her, encouraging her, and Buffy gave up all control, knowing that Faith would keep her safe.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy stirred from her daze when Faith placed a soft kiss on her lips. She was smiling down at Buffy, an impish look in her eyes. Her fingers were still inside of Buffy, and she thrust into her once gently and was reward by a hoarse groan.

"Faith, I... don't... don't you dare." Faith withdrew her fingers from Buffy. Buffy rolled on her side facing her. Her breathing still rapid, her heart still racing.

"Need to B." Faith rasped at her, gently pushing Buffy over onto her back again. "Have to taste you."

"I... Faith... I don't think it's... I don't think I can..." Buffy trailed off when she saw Faith giving her the same wicked and evil smile, that she had given Faith earlier that night. The words she had said to Faith earlier came back to mock her.

"I do... What's my favorite expression again B? Oh yeah..."

"Want."

Faith lowered her head and trailed her tongue down Buffy's neck. To the hollow between her breasts, then to run under and up to a nipple that was already hardening, belying Buffy's words. She teased it with her tongue, biting down hard, but not hard enough to cause any real pain. Faith trailed small kisses back into the hollow between her breasts. Then up the slope of the other breast to take its nipple into her mouth, sucking it, flicking it with her tongue. Smiling when she heard Buffy moan.

"Take."

Faith blazed a trail with her tongue down to Buffy's stomach. Stopping to swirl it into her navel, eliciting another moan from Buffy and smiled again.

"Have."

Faith hovered over Buffy's center and blew lightly into her curls, tickling Buffy's clit with her breath. She smiled yet again when Buffy bucked up into her breath.

Buffy was incredulous as the desire stirred up in her again, as strong and swift... no, stronger, swifter than before. She was holding her breath waiting for Faith to touch her. Needing Faith to touch her.

"Please Faith, I need you to touch me." Her voice was hoarse, low and scratchy.

Buffy was lost as she felt Faith's tongue slide over her. As Faith's mouth lavished her with attention. Plunging into her to slide up and flick at her clit. Taking it gently between her teeth, bringing her up to the edge. Desperately Buffy reached down and held onto Faith's head, as she gasped out her pleasure. Urging her on, raising her hips up, bucking into Faith's mouth as Faith flicked her tongue over and around her nub. Gently biting her clit again and scraping her teeth lightly along its length.

Faith was ravenous; she could not get enough of Buffy's sweetness. She devoured her, bringing her fingers up to thrust into Buffy, curling them up into her, finding her sweet spot, stroking her there, feeling it swell.

"Faith! Don't stop... almost... there... don't... OH! I can't... FAITH!..."

Faith felt the first contraction of Buffy's orgasm gripping her fingers, and she started thrusting into Buffy harder, faster, her tongue going wild on her clit.

Buffy screamed Faith's name again, as her orgasm overtook her fast, furiously. She clutched Faith's head to her keeping her there as her hips arched up into that incredible mouth. She yelled out Faith's name again as the orgasm continued to roll over her. Until she had nothing left, and sank back into the couch, pulling Faith up to her, holding her tight within her embrace.

She reached down and tilted Faith's face up towards her. Leaning up she kissed her tenderly, tasting herself on the Dark Slayer. She ran her hands down Faith's back feeling as she trembled within her arms. Faith's breathing shallow, and ragged. Buffy rolled them over to their sides. She smiled seductively at Faith.

"Those clothes gotta go." Buffy grabbed Faith's hand pulling her up off couch and towards the stairs.

And so forth, and so on, forever and a day. Amen. All praise the recuperative powers of _The Slayers._

**xxxxxxxxxx**

When the Chosen Two lay down that night, it wasn't to sleep nor to dream of each other.

Why should they when the reality in their arms was so much better?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Atropos was on the couch in the sitting room. She was doing needlepoint on a tapestry the size of a wall hanging. The stitches she was making were so small that a human eye would not have been able to see them. The images that were emerging on it were so life-like that one would not have been surprised to see them step off the tapestry. She was waiting on the Slayer and didn't want to get caught by surprise, this tapestry was not for her eyes, at least not yet.

She was surprise the child was not here yet, Atropos knew that it had to be nearing dawn. Perhaps they had not caught the last of the demons yet, but she could have sworn what she had seen in the Tapestry of Life earlier today indicated that they had. She put the needlepoint aside and walked quietly into the other room. Chuckling to herself that Slayer's weren't the only one who could move stealthily.

She watched her sister, who was bent over the tapestry, lovingly weaving two frayed and tattered Threads of Life. Although weaving was not the proper term. It was more a gentling, a taming, a coaxing, of the stubborn Life Threads. Not wanting to force or break the Life Threads spirits. Unpredictable yes they were, these types of frayed Life Threads had caused more chaos, pain, sadness, happiness, than millions of others combined. As she watched her sister, Atropos knew deep in the pit of her stomach who those two Threads of Life belonged to.

"Lachesis!" Atropos watched as her sister jumped guiltily. "What have you done?"

"Nothing, I haven't done anything." Atropos raised an eyebrow at her younger sister, and looked at her in disbelief.

"Well... I helped a little. Fixed what should have been long ago. Nothing in the future has changed. What is meant to be is meant to be. We both know that. No matter what we do, in the end we cannot force the Life Threads to do anything they do not want to do. Especially these stubborn, wild ones."

"Yes, but by your interference you have just made both of those Life Threads lives all the harder. Made their choices harder by tenfold. You should have left them as they were."

"What you say may be true. Their choices may be harder, but had things happened as the tapestry had originally shown, the choices would have been just as hard, nay, even harder. Had things stayed as they were before today, all that they go through would have... At least now, they will have this time to help them through the darkness. It is the least either of us could do. The burden these two bear is not a light one, sister."

Atropos knew her sister words were true. What she had done would not change what was meant to be. Would not influence the choices the two needed to make. Like Lachesis had said:

_'In the end, it did not matter what the Fates did. The choice's, the path's they took, belonged and always would, entirely to the owner of the Life Thread._

"Do not interfere again!" Atropos returned to the sitting room to continue working on her needlepoint. Secretly she was glad of the reason the Slayer had not visited her tonight. She would give her this time, and if the Slayer did not come on her own again, Atropos would call upon her when it became absolutely necessary.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Here with you, Near with you ~ Oh I ~ I need to be next to you – Sixpence None the Richer

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	9. VIII - Mourning

VIII – Mourning

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...cause out of all this hurt we have ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

An hour before the sun was getting ready to bring forth another day; Faith finally let Buffy get some sleep. She lay quietly holding the golden-haired Slayer in her arms. A part of her still couldn't believe any of this had happened. Couldn't believe she was laying here holding the woman she had been dreaming about for years. Holding the woman who she never thought, not in million years, would ever want to hold her back.

Faith shifted her position a little trying to get comfortable. She winced, she was tired, bruised, fuck she was downright sore, and loving every little ache and pain. She looked down at the dream lying in her arms. This was all so new to her, only once before had she held someone in her arms through the night, and she silently thanked whomever it was that had given her the chance to hold that same someone again.

Faith was afraid if she closed her eyes, that when she opened them again, it would turn out that this really had been a dream after all. She tightened her arms around the sleeping Slayer, she didn't want to sleep, she didn't want this night to ever end.

_I could get used to this. I could so get used to this._

Faith gently ran her hand over the arm that lay across her stomach. She felt desire rise up in her again from that simple touch.

She slowly untangled herself from Buffy, knowing that if she didn't she would soon be waking Buffy. Faith was pretty sure that she would have an angry Slayer on her hands then. By the end of the night, Buffy had been alternating between begging Faith to touch her, to begging Faith to just let her sleep. _'Ten minutes,'_ Buffy kept saying that was all she was asking for, _'Just ten minutes please Faith!'_

For the first time in her life, the _'Get some, get gone'_ girl, had nowhere she wanted to _'get gone'_ to.

Buffy gave a little sigh of protest, mumbling in her sleep as Faith rose from the bed.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She pulled on an oversized T-Shirt, and left a robe on the bed for Buffy. She made her way downstairs and put on a very large pot of coffee. She was going to have to wake Buffy soon, she vaguely remembered Buffy saying something about getting home before Giles brought Dawn back.

She waited until there was about two cups of coffee in the pot and poured herself a large cup. She loved these new coffee makers that let you pour yourself a cup before the coffee finished brewing the whole pot. While to the rest of the world this wasn't anything new, it was to the Dark Slayer. Faith had been grateful if the water from the tap in the endless shitty motels she had lived in for so long got hot enough to make a cup of instant.

Faith put about eighteen-billion spoons of sugar, and at least two inches of cream in her coffee. She thought it was the funniest thing in the world when people would ask her who she was fixing the coffee for. For some reason everyone assumed she would drink her coffee black. As if it was a requirement that she drank black coffee to go with the whole _'Bad Girl'_ image.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She took her coffee and went outside to the walled in garden to sit in the pre-dawn light and wait for the sunrise. Faith might not have been a morning person, but that didn't mean she didn't get up early every day. This was her favorite time of the day, it was special to her, had been since she was a child. It was one of her secrets. One she had never shared with anyone, had never cared to share with anyone, until Angel. She hadn't told him about it, he had discovered it on his own.

When he had first brought her home from the courtroom after _'The Incident,'_ she had been unresponsive, almost catatonic. She had felt like she was living inside of a plastic bubble. As hard as she tried she could not seem to break the plastic barrier, it would stretch, but never break, and in the end it just kept her trapped inside.

Angel stayed with her twenty-four hours a day for over a week straight.

He would talk to her about everything and anything. She probably knew more about Angel than any other living person on the earth. Sometimes for hours on end, he would read to her, until his voice would grow hoarse, and then he would just sit quietly with her, holding her two warm hands within his cold ones.

She would have sworn that he never slept during that first week. She never responded to him, she had not spoken a single word to anyone since that day. Her hands had been in constant motion during that period in her life. When she would try to claw at them, he would once again gather them into his own, soothing her, comforting her, until she slept.

Every morning she would wake at the pre-dawn, and see him out there on the balcony with his face turned up to the sky. He would stay out there until the sun rose and the first pale rays of the day streaked across the horizon, until the demon in him would roar in his mind in fear, pleading for him to get inside. Faith longed to be out there staring up into sky with him, watching the sunrise. But, she was unable to escape from the prison of her own making and Angel could not hear her silent pleas.

On the third day, he came to her, lifted her up and carried her outside with him. Something inside of Angel must have recognized the silent pleas of the Dark Slayer. Perhaps it was something minuscule in her expression that only his vampire eyes had seen. Or maybe it was just two souls who were traveling down the same path, seeking the same things, one calling out to the other.

Together in silence, the vampire with a soul and the Dark Slayer stood in the pre-dawn. The time of the day when the sky is no longer black, but a dark, dark azure blue. Both of their faces turned up into the promise of a new day.

Faith hadn't been surprised to learn that Angel felt the same way about this time of the day. The time of the day, that carried with it the promise of hope. When they both made their secret wishes, dreamed all those secret dreams. Gave leave to all the hidden emotions that lay within their heart of hearts. Both hoping, that the coming day carried with it the promise that today would be better than yesterday.

As the days passed, and the comfort level between them grew, Faith began to talk to him, in the near dark. Whispering to him, as if he were just a shadow keeping her company, as if she were whispering to herself alone in the dark, alone like she had always been since she was a child.

During that time, Angel came to know Faith, the Faith that the world never got to see. The frightened little girl, who he knew had other secrets, secrets that she even kept from herself. Secrets he knew, that even she was afraid to whisper to herself. Angel was the first person to see the woman that frightened child could grow to be.

Angel learned to read her expressions with just a glance. He was the one who had bought her the lifting gloves. He had seen panic in her eyes when someone had so thoughtlessly asked about the scars upon her hands.

The scars she now kept hidden. The scars that were etched upon her soul as well as her hands. Scars, still too painful to talk about with anyone but Angel. The scars of her own making, the scars even with her Slayer healing still remained. They were a reminder, like the scar on her stomach, of the Faith she never wanted to be again.

Faith reflected that she now had one more reason to think of this time of the day as special. Angel was her first.

In those pre-dawn hours, the vampire with a soul known as Angel was the first person to ever make Faith feel safe, not all alone in the world, give her hope and feel loved.

The second was upstairs sleeping in her bed; a secret wish Faith had made that she never thought would come true.

Faith curled herself into the chair. She rested her head against its high back, a soft beautiful smile playing on her face. She raised her eyes towards the sky to watch the sun rise and to listen for the promises of the day.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

That was how Buffy found her, head thrown back, eyes looking up at the sky, smiling softly. She paused in the doorway and her breath caught in her chest, at the beauty her eyes beheld.

It frightened her a little, no, not just a little, it frightened her a lot. This was only lust she told herself, but before Buffy could start dwelling on it, start to let the fear take control of her, start to retreat behind her safe wall; Faith turned towards her, her smile widening and held out her hand to Buffy in silent supplication.

Buffy moved towards her, drawn to Faith like a moth to a flame. She curled up into Faith's lap and together in silence, they watched the sun rise to a brand new day.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Morning," Faith whispered hoarsely, breaking the silence between them. The now familiar heat rising in her just from having Buffy curled up in her arms.

"Morning to you too. Mmmmm, is that coffee I smell?"

Faith nodded and reached over, she picked up her cup from the table and handed it to Buffy.

Faith giggled at the face Buffy made after taking a sip. Then giggled again at the face Buffy made when she giggled.

"Tell me you just didn't giggle." Faith's smile broadened. All Buffy could do was shake her head in wonder and smile back. She took another sip of the coffee without thinking.

"Jeez Faith, like some coffee with your sugar?"

"What? Too sweet, let me taste." Buffy handed her the mug. Instead of taking a sip, Faith put it down on the table, gathered Buffy close to her and leaned in for a kiss. It was a gentle, sweet kiss.

"Don't know B, thinkin' I need another taste."

Faith leaned down and kissed Buffy again, another sweet gentle kiss that quickly got out of control.

She parted Buffy's lips by lightly teasing her with her tongue. Pulling back, she ran her tongue over Buffy's mouth, then leaned back in and deepened their kiss. Buffy felt the heat start to rise up in her, she couldn't believe the passion that Faith managed to create in her. It had never been like this before. Buffy pulled out of the kiss, her breathing already labored.

"Faith?" She whispered softly.

Faith looked at her, hearing the desire in Buffy's voice. She buried her head in Buffy's neck, licking her skin, tasting the sweat and desire there. Faith bit, nibbled, sucked on Buffy's neck, bit a little harder, sucked a little harder, and marked her. She heard Buffy's gasp, her breath catching in her throat.

"God B, you smell like Armani and sex. It's driving me wild." Faith's raspy voice sent another shiver of lust through Buffy.

Faith picked Buffy up - _Love that Slayer strength! -_ turning her so that Buffy was facing her, straddling her thighs. She opened her robe, exposing Buffy to the pale morning light, then pulled it completely off, throwing it carelessly to the ground. Faith let out a groan of desire as she felt how wet Buffy was already as she came down upon her thighs. Good god, they were turning into slut-puppies. They should have been worn out, too tired, too sore, but Faith knew she was just as wet, was aching just as much for Buffy's touch as Buffy was for hers.

Faith nuzzled her face in between Buffy's breasts, her hands running up and down Buffy's thighs. She captured a harden nipple in her mouth, biting and roughly tugging on it with her teeth.

Clutching Faith's shoulders hard at the touch of her mouth on her, Buffy practically snarled.

"Faith, don't tease me."

Somehow, her lust had gotten completely out of control in seconds. She needed, wanted Faith's touch right now. She didn't need, want, any foreplay, no teasingly soft touches. Gentle wasn't what she wanted right now.

Not even giving Faith a chance to react, Buffy rose up to her knees, and grabbed Faith's hand. She guided Faith's hand exactly to where she wanted to be touched, how she wanted Faith to touch her.

"God B, so hot... you're so hot..." Faith husked as she let Buffy guide her hand to her slick center.

Faith could feel the flush of arousal hot across Buffy's skin. She slid her hand along Buffy's opening, plunging in three fingers, hard and fast. She used the heel of her hand and applied pressure to Buffy's swollen clit. She leaned back in the chair and watched as Buffy, her body arching, rode her hand. Her other hand reached up to torture Buffy's nipples.

"Feels... so... good... you feel so good!" She let Buffy set her own pace and followed her as Buffy increased the speed of her ride.

Buffy practically sobbed as she felt Faith reach down with her other hand and rub her clit between her fingers.

Faith thought she was going to come from just watching Buffy. She increased her thrusts as she felt Buffy's insides clutching her fingers. Buffy's essence was dripping down her hand, her wrist. She tweaked Buffy's clit, rubbed it harder, in circular motions, then back to capture it between her fingers. She knew Buffy was close.

"That's it... B... come on... " Faith kept whispering to her, encouraging her. With each word, Buffy felt her lust rise even higher.

"Faith... harder... Faith... I'm so close..." Buffy went wild on her hand. Faith followed her, thrusting into her harder, deeper, and faster. She captured Buffy's clit pinching it between her fingers.

"Show me B... oh god, show me..." Faith whispered, watching as Buffy stiffened, throwing her head back, trembling. Until finally as the last contraction ceased she collapsed into Faith laying her head down upon her shoulder, idly stroking Faith's neck.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy started to slide her hand down Faith's neck, over her shoulder, towards her breasts. Faith grabbed Buffy's wandering hand and brought it up to her mouth. Kissing first the back of it, then the palm, sneaking out her tongue for a quick taste. She let out a shaky breath, not believing she was stopping Buffy, she was going to need a very, very, very, long cold shower.

"No time B, you gotta get home for Dawn."

"Not likin' that at all, not... at... all."

"Tell me about it B." Buffy leaned down and gave Faith a kiss that left her squirming, soaking wet and her body screaming in need.

"No fair B." Faith gasped.

"Later, I promise later." Buffy said as she rose from Faith running into the house to get dressed.

Faith knew better than to follow her, if she did Dawn would be coming home to an empty house.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith walked into the Magic Shop on time that morning. Despite having absolutely no sleep the night before, there was a big smile on her face, and a lightness to her step.

"Morning all!" She said brightly, very un-Faith-like and in a very raspy hoarse whisper.

Faith's smile broadened at the thought of what had made her voice even more raspy than normal. She had never thought of herself as a screamer, a talker yeah, a screamer no. Buffy had certainly disproved that theory. Her smile grew, getting almost impossibly wide; apparently, she wasn't the only one who was a talker and a screamer. Buffy's voice had been pretty damn hoarse earlier this morning too.

Faith noticed that the Scoobs and Giles were looking at her a little funny. They were probably wondering if she had gone psycho again, standing there with a very big cat-that-ate-the-canary grin on her face for absolutely no reason, at eight o'clock in the morning no less.

"What?"

"You're smiling, you and smiling, makes me nervous, smiling... nervous here."

"What Xander, I'm not allowed to smile now? Anything else I should know about? Cause I'll add it to my list." The smile left her face and her good mood quickly followed.

_Christ, can't even smile, this is fucked up._

Buffy walked in just then. She stopped short when she saw that everyone was staring at Faith. Xander and Giles both looked suspicious. Willow looked curious. Tara looked protective and Anya looked amused. Buffy looked at Faith who was standing with her arms crossed, her posture defensive, facing off against Xander.

"Faith what's going on?" Buffy's voice sounded even rougher than Faith's. Now everyone was looking at her funny.

"WHAT?" She yelled at the room in general, making her already strained vocal cords hurt more.

"She was smiling." Hell that sounded lame to even him and stupid to boot. That didn't stop him from continuing though, "Why is she smiling? She never smiles unless she's up to something."

"Are you kidding me Xander?" Buffy croaked out and noticed that Faith smiled at the sound of her voice. "You're upset because Faith was smiling."

"See, she's doing it again." Xander pointed to Faith, his voice cracking on the last word.

Faith and Buffy looked at each other when they realized that Xander voice was just as hoarse as their own. That he had that same, sated but tired look on his face as they did, so did Anya, Tara and Willow for that matter too. Everyone it seemed, except Giles.

_'Damn what the hell was in those drinks last night?'_ Buffy thought.

"What's the what with the voice dude?"

"He screamed a lot last night during sex." Anya croaked out and Xander turned beet red.

Faith wiggled her eyebrows at Buffy, and they both started laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. Xander mumbled something about having to go to work and fled out the door. While Giles just said something along the lines of _'Yes, um, well,'_ and practically ran for his office.

Buffy and Faith started to laugh even harder, Tara, Willow, and Anya joined in.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It wasn't until later that day that Willow suddenly realized that Xander wasn't the only one whose voice had been very hoarse that morning. _'No way,'_ she thought to herself. _'There was just no way!'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Sunday morning found Faith in the training room lying on the couch. One leg hooked over the back, hands behind her head, eyes closed, headphones on listening to one of her favorite cd's. As Cordy would have said, Faith was pulling _'An Angel.'_ She was laying there brooding and pouting at the empty room.

It had been a little over three weeks since the night she and Buffy had spent together. It was, in fact, the only full night they had spent together. Faith was happy, miserable, up, down, left, right, frustrated, every damn emotion under the sky. Other than the fact that she and Buffy had their hands all over each other every chance they got, nothing much else had changed.

That goddamn, mother-fucking, son-of-a-bitch wall was still there. Every once in a while Faith would get a glimpse over the top of it, but never much more. The one concession Buffy had made was to trust Faith far enough to eat on her own, but that was all.

_Woo Hoo! Look ma I can feed myself!_

General B was now a three star General instead of a four and that was just barely.

Faith knew she was being unrealistic to think that things would change overnight, just because they were sleeping together. That all of a sudden Buffy would forget about everything that had happened in the past. Trust her just because she was good in bed, the cemetery, the bathroom, the training room, and anywhere else, they had a moment alone. Faith knew just because Buffy was in lust with her, everything else Buffy felt about her would not just up and disappear. That didn't mean she couldn't help wishing anyway.

Buffy was just as distant as before, still keeping everyone at arm's length. In some ways, Faith felt like the distance between them had grown even more. Almost as if now that Buffy had let Faith into that part of her life, she needed to push her even further away from the rest.

All the late nights, all the emotional turmoil had exhausted Faith; she fell asleep on the couch. Probably one of the deepest sleeps she had since she had returned to Sunnydale.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

A little while later Buffy walked into the training room. She stopped in the doorway watching Faith sleep. Immediately she felt the heat rush through her at the sight of the Dark Slayer. It just added to the confusion of the last three weeks.

The morning after their brief shared laughter, Buffy had unconsciously slipped back into her armor the second after they finished their Tai Chi exercises. While she could now readily admit that she was in total lust with Faith that was all she could admit to. When she thought of how she was when she was with Faith, she didn't recognize herself. She had never been that way with anyone else; Faith brought out the wild side in her and it scared the shit out of her. A part of her wanted to stop this; and a part of her never wanted it to stop, and that frightened her even more.

She still didn't know if she could trust Faith, still didn't know what Faith was after. Was even more afraid to give Faith a second chance, because now she wasn't sure if it would be because she lusted after the Dark Slayer, or because she truly believed Faith had changed. Then there was the anger, Buffy was still pissed over all that had happened in the past, perhaps even more now than before. So many conflicting emotions surrounded Faith, and what it was that she felt about her, it just added more onto Buffy's already overburden shoulders.

She had to give Faith credit though. Faith had attempted numerous times to try to get her to talk about what happened in the past, but Buffy rebuffed her every time. Faith had even tried to apologize to her again, but had stopped short at the look Buffy had given her, and had actually backed away from her.

She knew her anger at Faith was her last defense and subconsciously she wasn't ready to let it go. Once she did, there would be nothing left between her and what terrified her the most. What it was that she actually felt for Faith.

So Buffy did what was becoming increasing easier, and each time she did, it became less of a conscious effort. She retreated behind the wall and into her protective armor, letting only her lust out for the Dark Slayer, but not letting anyone or anything else out or in.

Had she been listening to anything Faith had been trying to tell her over the last few weeks; Buffy would have known she was heading down the path that Faith herself was all too familiar with. Would have seen that while Faith was moving closer to who she wanted to become, Buffy was moving closer to everything Faith never wanted to be again. In essence, the Slayers were changing places.

Buffy wondered if what was happening between them was part of some plan of Faith's to get her to trust her and let her back in.

_Really don't mind playing this game though._

Buffy conveniently let herself forget, that it was _she_, who had initiated the first kiss.

_She_, who had followed Faith into the bathroom at the Bronze.

_She_, who had started them down this path in the first place.

That it was _she_ and only _she_, who had initiated every touch between them since that first morning.

She shook the thoughts from her mind and walked over to the sleeping Dark Slayer. Reaching down she started trailing her hand along Faith's neck and collarbone.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was having one of the most erotic, heat-filled dreams of her life. Feather light fingers were touching her, drawing teasing patterns over her neck, down the hollow between her breast, up and over delicately to pinch a nipple, down across her stomach, circling her navel, down towards her center. To only veer away a second before they touched her there.

"B!" Faith moaned in her sleep, her hips rising in search of that touch.

_'God,'_ Buffy thought she was incorrigible when it came to Faith. A part of her secretly pleased, that it was her name Faith had moaned out in her sleep.

Buffy reached down and delicately traced the contours of that beautiful face. Running her fingers over Faith's mouth, wondering if the same mouth that gave her so much pleasure was also lying to her. Leaning down Buffy kissed the slumbering Slayer awake.

"Hey sleepy head, shouldn't you be working out?" Buffy's voice came out harsh with desire.

Faith sat up quickly, still half asleep, totally misreading Buffy's tone. Forgetting about the headphones in her effort to sit up they managed to get all tangled up in her hair.

"Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep." Faith mumbled an apology. Frantic, she tried to get the headphones untangled from her hair and just succeeded in getting them more tangled. She didn't want to get Buffy pissed off, didn't want to hear whatever stinging remarks might come out of her mouth.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" How the fuck could Buffy go from kissing her to General B in just a second? Her frustration and anger was apparent in her tone. She was angry at Buffy for doing this to her, and angry with herself for letting Buffy do this to her, and how she was reacting to it.

Faith's reaction to her casual words, flustered Buffy. Had she really been that harsh, that demanding with Faith over the last few weeks, so much so that Faith was acting more like she had slapped her rather than spoken to her?

Buffy felt herself start to push the thought aside and for once, she stopped herself. She knew it was true, she had been treating Faith more like her personal verbal punching bag, rather than like a human being. She missed the cocky Slayer who gave back as good as she got, who little by little she had been pushing down, trying to break her spirit. She kept repeatedly punishing Faith for the past and not giving her any opportunity to make up for it.

For the first time since Faith had arrived in Sunnydale, Buffy felt guilty over the way she had been treating Faith and didn't try to fool herself into denying it.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...is there something that you are trying to say ~ don't hold back now ~ it's been a long time since i felt this way ~ so don't hold back now ~ i purposely forgot about loving anyone ~ cause i'm the only one who has been stepped upon...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Here, let me help you," Buffy gently brushed Faith's hands out of the way and sat down beside her. Looking at Faith, she wondered if she really knew her. Had she ever really bothered to try to get to know her at all, the first time around and now? Or had she just been content to look at only the surface, afraid maybe of what she might find if she looked beyond the Dark Slayer's _'Bad Girl' _exterior.

Faith stood up and moved away from Buffy the second Buffy got the headphones untangled from her hair.

Buffy rose quickly from the couch, placed a hand on Faith's arm and stopped her. She turned Faith until they faced one another. She ran her hand up Faith's arm, over her shoulder to behind her neck and pulled Faith's head down towards her.

"What about the oth..."

"They're not here." Buffy's said a second before her mouth claimed Faith's.

The anger, frustration, Faith was feeling merged with her desire and became a white-hot flame. She tried to fight against it, wanting to let herself be angry, but she gave up quickly, knowing it was a losing battle.

Buffy's tongue was like liquid fire in her mouth. Faith pulled back from the kiss gasping for air.

Seeing the chance, Buffy pulled Faith's t-shirt over her head, and ducking down took a nipple into her mouth. Coaxing it into a hard little nub, biting down on it until she heard Faith moan.

She swirled her tongue over and around Faith's breast, coming close to her nipple but never actually touching it, driving Faith insane. Reaching down she slid her hand up Faith's inner thigh coming to rest on her core. She moaned as she felt Faith's wetness through her shorts. She started flicking her tongue rapidly over Faith's nipple as she slid her hand back and forth over the Dark Slayer's center through her clothes.

Faith pulled Buffy up to her roughly and brought her mouth down in a demanding kiss, sucking Buffy's tongue into her mouth, capturing it with her teeth. They broke apart long enough to strip each other of their clothes. Kneeling Buffy pulled Faith down with her. They embraced, their hands urgent upon each other. Laying back Buffy pulled Faith down, opening her legs, as Faith settled between them.

Both Slayers moaned as Faith lowered her body down on Buffy. Supporting her weight on her elbows, Faith slid her body along the deceptively soft one under her, eliciting another moan from Buffy.

Buffy ran her hands down Faith's back tracing the contours of her muscles, loving the feel of them as they moved under her hands. Faith skin felt like silk. She pulled Faith tighter to her wanting to feel the weight of Faith's completely nude body more fully upon her own bare flesh.

But Faith didn't allow Buffy that luxury for long, a little bit of her anger was still controlling her. She did not want to pretend this was more than what it was. Buffy wanted her to fuck her like a good little girl, so she would.

Faith raised herself up to support her weight upon her hands, pressing her hips into Buffy, to bring her wetness to join with Buffy's. She began a slow circular motion sliding heat against heat. Buffy bent her knees giving Faith fuller access to her, pressing her hips up to follow Faith's.

"B..." Faith moaned as her need came at her fast and furiously as it always seemed to between them. Losing her anger as Buffy reached up and gently caressed her face.

"Faith... so beautiful." Buffy whispered to her softly.

Faith pressed down harder into Buffy, her desire now raging out of control from that simple gentle caress, those softly spoken words.

Buffy stared up into that beautiful face locking her eyes with Faith's. All that she saw in Faith's eyes caused her own desire to rise up just as fast, as furiously, to match that of the Dark Slayer's. Without even knowing, all the other emotions, besides the lust Buffy saw in Faith's eyes when she looked at her was what really caused her to respond so completely to the Dark Slayer.

Faith began alternating thrusting hard into Buffy, with circling her center over and around and into Buffy. Sliding into and on the wetness that was both of them, increasing the tension, the heat, between them.

Buffy wrapped her legs tightly around Faith's hips meeting her with equal force.

Faith's arms were straining with her effort. Her eyes intense as she looked at Buffy, saying all she could not say, all that Buffy would not let her say.

"That's it baby... come on... " Buffy knew Faith was teetering on the edge. She watched Faith's face as it contorted in her pleasure, her body beginning to tremble as she rose up the crest, almost frantic, hanging on the edge, so close.

Buffy reached down to slide her hand between their bodies, pressing her fingers up into Faith as she found Faith's clit with her thumb.

With that single touch, Faith lost control, thrusting hard into Buffy's hand. For just a brief second she saw what lay beyond the desire in Buffy's eyes. That was all it took to send her hurdling over the edge.

"B... god... B I lo...!" Her body started trembling almost violently, as she drove into Buffy's hand, once, twice, three, times. Her voice strangling deep in her throat, stopping herself before she finished what she longed to say.

"That's it, cum for me Faith... cum for me baby..." Buffy moaned out as she felt Faith's body contracting tightly around her fingers, drawing her deeper inside.

Faith's arms gave out as her orgasm consumed her. She collapsed onto Buffy, rolling them over on their sides. She reached down sliding her hand into Buffy's center, taking Buffy with her over the edge. Clinging to each other the Slayers rode out their orgasms, calling out each other's name.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They lay holding each other until their bodies had quieted, then Faith rose quickly and moved away from Buffy. She knew the routine, and wasn't about to make a fool of herself over something she thought she might have seen in Buffy's eyes during the heat of passion.

There would be no cuddling, no gentle words, no holding onto each other in the aftermath, no soft sighs, no light touches, no gentle caresses, there never was, and Faith didn't expect it to be any different today. After all she wasn't Angel, or Riley, she was Faith _'Evil-Slayer,'_ Faith the _'Get some, get gone'_ girl. Only now, Buffy owned that particular title. Faith wasn't about to asked for something from Buffy that she knew would only lead to rejection. In some ways, Faith had begun to stop giving Buffy a second chance too.

Over the last three weeks, Faith got a very clear picture of how she had treated Xander the night she had taken his virginity. Throwing him out into the night in just his underwear, with the lame excuse that she needed to take a shower. She finally understood another of the reasons why he was still so angry with her.

Not for the first time the Dark Slayer underestimated her own self-worth and what she had to offer. Had she looked at Buffy's face before she pulled away she would have been surprised to see that the ice-cold look she had come to expect wasn't there. Instead, there was a gentle questioning in its place.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...is there something that you're trying to say ~ cause i can take it ~ cause i grew up a man that way and if i'm hurt i'll shake it ~ i'll crawl back into my cave ~ that's how i'll make it ~ cause out of all this hurt we have ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy missed Faith the second she moved away from her, and realized the reason. It was always her who moved away first, never Faith. After that first night, there had been nothing between them afterwards, no gentleness, no nothing. And Buffy knew it was her fault. In her effort to convince herself that all she felt was lust, she had turned it into just that. Had pushed Faith into finally giving up, she could see it in her slumped shoulders as Faith walked out of the room without a word, without a smile.

Still Buffy just let her, trapped behind the wall of her own making. Unable, perhaps unwilling to take her share of the blame over what had happened, was happening now, at this moment between them. It was too easy to put the blame all on Faith's shoulders. Why had Faith given up now, now when she was ready to explore the possibilities? Buffy ignored, and she was getting so good at it, that she had not said a word, did not stop Faith from walking away. Had irrationally expected Faith all of a sudden to become a mind reader, expected Faith to know what she was feeling by using the connection that was between them as Slayers. Which Buffy handily also chose to forget she had all but shut down between them.

She became angry at Faith for giving up; once again, Buffy placed the blame illogically at the Dark Slayers feet.

_'What the fuck does she expect from me anyway? Does she expect me to do everything?'_ Buffy thought unreasonably. As Buffy rushed to put her clothes on and leave the room, never once did she acknowledge that Faith had been the only one making an effort at all, while she had been the one constantly knocking it carelessly away.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The Scooby Gang entered the Magic Shop ready to go into full-scale marathon research mode. Two grim-faced Slayers greeted them. It turned out to be the highlight of the day.

Buffy spent most of her time watching Faith and thinking about all that had happened since Faith had arrived back in Sunnydale. That little bit of guilt she had been feeling earlier in the training room began eating away at her again, making her reevaluate everything, Faith, herself, her own judgment.

Little by little as the day progressed, Buffy started to begin to see all that she had been ignoring over the last few weeks. The inner peace the Dark Slayer had found, and shared without reservation with her, Faith's calm confidence, her control when slaying. How she subtly and gently tried to let Buffy know she was shutting down, pushing people away. How Faith had not made any excuses to explain away the past, but had taken instead full responsibility for her actions. Did everything Buffy asked without questions or compliant despite all the abuse Buffy threw her way. Faith's repeated attempts to try to get Buffy to talk about the past, to clear the air between them, so they could move past it. The way Faith came to the Scoobs defense, turning if she could Buffy's tirade against herself and away from them. The way Faith had been giving, asking nothing for herself in return.

The Faith, Buffy had known, would have been out the door by now. Throwing a _'Fuck this shit,'_ back in Buffy's face, regardless of the consequences. That Faith, would not have cared what the Scoobs thought of her, would have not even tried to make things right between them. That Faith, would have tried to use Buffy's tirades to get the Scoobs to turn against Buffy, not get Buffy to turn against her. That Faith, had lived behind a wall of indifference.

_The Faith_, that was here now, was not _'that Faith,'_ was not even close to _'that Faith.'_ Buffy knew, this Faith, would not leave, she was here to help no matter what. Buffy knew, this Faith, meant it when she had said if Buffy dragged her away she would just come back, that Buffy would have to kill her to keep her away. This Faith, thought about the consequences of her actions, and lived every day with the consequences of her past actions. This Faith, cared what the Scoobs, Giles, Buffy thought about her, it was in her eyes, her expression, in her gestures and actions every day. This Faith, protected Buffy from Buffy's own actions and consequences at the expense of taking the hits herself. This Faith, did not hide behind a wall of indifference, did not hide behind anything, this Faith, showed the world what she felt. The only thing she ever hid was what she felt for Buffy, only occasionally letting it show when she thought Buffy couldn't see.

_Like she did this morning._

Whether Buffy liked it or not, Faith had changed, and Buffy had been treating her no better than an unwanted pet; and in the last three weeks like her own personal whore. After that first morning, never had Buffy just held Faith, never once kissed Faith, for the simple reason of _'just because.' _Any contact between them was always initiated by Buffy, and Buffy used her, knowing Faith would not say no; because she knew for Faith this was more than just simple lust. Never once had she held Faith afterwards with the exception of the very first time. She would practically rip herself out of Faith's arms, which always released her reluctantly, until this morning. This morning Buffy had finally managed to kill a little bit of the Dark Slayer's spirit.

Faith had changed. Had changed even more the last three weeks thanks to Buffy, who was slowly but surely, strangling the spirit of the Dark Slayer and all because Buffy was afraid. Buffy looked across the room and saw pain, and sadness on that beautiful face, the pain, and sadness she had put there. She felt shame and loathing for herself rise up like bile in the back of her throat, what she didn't realize was that it showed in her eyes.

And sadly for the Chosen Two, Faith chose that moment to look up at Buffy.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith saw the look of loathing Buffy was giving her, and recoiled from it. Did Buffy really hate her that much? Was all of this a game? The hope Faith had of ever making things right between them died in that instant.

_Stupid, stupid, how could I ever hope there could ever be anything between us? Why would she ever really want to be with me? Murdering, white trash me._

Faith wanted to run, to hide, but she knew she couldn't, she wouldn't. Okay, so Buffy could never be with her, they could never be lovers, friends, she could learn to live with that... eventually. She would not walk away, this was where she was supposed to be for now. She knew if Buffy continued down the path she was on, that at the end, Buffy would be standing there all alone. If that happened, she knew Buffy would not survive. Buffy had survived this long as a Slayer because of the people that surrounded her, and she could not lose them now. Not when she was facing an ex-god. Buffy needed them all, more than ever before.

She had fucked up; she should have never let this happen between them. She should have said no. Should have known better than to think they could be anything more, when they weren't even friends, not even on friendly terms. Especially since she knew Buffy didn't even trust her, didn't even think she had changed. She had fucked everything up; let her emotions get in the way of what needed to be done. Faith firmed up her resolve, determined that Buffy would learn from her mistakes.

Even if it meant that Buffy ended up hating her for it...

Even if it meant that she ended up hating herself again for it...

Faith hated herself a little already, hated herself for once again fucking up. She felt shame and loathing for herself rise up like bile in the back of throat, what Faith didn't realize was that it also showed in her eyes.

This time it was Buffy, who misread the loathing that was in the other Slayer's eyes and a little seed of doubt began to replant itself in Buffy's mind.

The day had just gone from, bad to worse.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...in the mourning i can see the sights ~ no wonder i can never keep you satisfied ~ in the mourning i can see inside ~ myself and all the things that you were trying to hide ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

After almost ten hours of researching and trying to find something, anything, to help them defeat Glory and getting nowhere and nothing, everyone was running on a short fuse. Buffy had managed to get herself promoted back up to a four star General again, and Faith needed to get out of the shop even if only for a few minutes. She offered to go on a coffee run, offered to buy, just to make sure they said yes.

Faith went into the training room to get money. As she pulled out her wallet, she saw the message light flashing on the cell phone Angel had given her. It was Angel; he wanted her to call him.

"Hey Cordy, Soul-boy there?"

"Hey Faith, he's here, hang on. **ANGEL!**" Faith moved the phone quickly away from her ear, she hated when Cordy did that. It felt good though to hear a friendly voice.

"He's gonna be a few minutes."

"K. So how is everything?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Wondering what the hell was taking Faith so long to come out of the back, Buffy got up and headed towards the door. She paused outside of the doorway when she heard Faith talking to someone on the phone. She felt a little guilty but she eavesdropped anyway catching only the tail end of the conversation.

"Yup, that's all she wrote."

"Faith be careful please... I don't want to have to worry about you." Angel emphasized the careful. He was worried about her anyway, he knew something was wrong, knew without her telling him that it had something to do with Buffy. There was something in her voice, as if she was a little bit broken, a little bit beaten down.

"No need. I'm five by five." Faith tried to make her voice light, she could hear the concern in his voice. They had come to know each other too well.

"You know I actually miss that whole _'five by five'_ thing. Miss sharing the dawn with you; guess what I'm trying to say is, I miss having you around." So he wasn't the greatest at this kind of stuff, but he knew she understood him. He really did miss having her around.

Angel had found a kindred soul in Faith. After all the years of being alone it was good to have someone who understood what it was he was seeking. Who was seeking the same things. They gave each other hope that someday they would both achieve what it was they sought, redemption.

"Yeah, I miss that too. Nobody understands. I miss you too." There was such loneliness and longing in her voice, that Angel felt his heart bleed for her.

"Faith, things will get better. You know that don't you?"

"I do, and... I love you, ya know..." Faith said softly, letting her emotions carry to him through the phone. Those were three very hard words for her to say. She needed him to know though, because in the end she knew she was going to hurt him.

Buffy walked away from the doorway having heard enough. The seed of doubt had taken root and began to grow rapidly. Instead of the sound of a wall crumbling, there was the sound of new brick being laid.

"Ditto." Angel smiled when he heard her laugh; she knew he had stolen that from one of his favorite movies, _'Ghost.'_

"Remember though it's just like in a brotherly way, Soul-boy!"

"Just know you can talk to me about anything." Serious again.

"'K, gotta fly now, Soul-boy. Talk to you soon." Faith sighed as she hung up the phone.

Angel was the only one she wanted to talk to about Buffy, and he was the last person she could talk to. She wouldn't, couldn't, hurt him for the world, but she knew eventually she was going to have to. It broke her heart a little. He had been, was so good to her, believing in her when she hadn't even believed in herself. Faith knew she wouldn't be able to lie to him forever. Knew that he would not walk away even when she hurt him, would be there to support her, comfort her, and encourage her. Would help her once again find her way out of the darkness and into the light. He deserved better, so much better than this from her.

Faith grabbed her wallet out of the bag, feeling pretty shitty about herself at the moment.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith ran out of the Magic Shop shouting she would be back in a flash. She didn't see the daggers Buffy was throwing at her back.

_Well at least now I know why she gave up so easily. Who the fuck was she talking to on the phone?_

Buffy was seeing red; although green would have been a more appropriate color. When she heard Faith say those three simple words, with such tenderness, heard the longing in her voice, Buffy felt as if she had been stabbed. Her earlier feelings of guilt over how she had been treating the Dark Slayer were gone. Her short-lived belief that Faith had changed, was completely gone and the seed of doubt had grown into a grand old oak tree.

Had she kept listening with her Slayer hearing as she had walked away she would have heard as Faith said good-bye to _'Soul-boy.'_ Instead, all she heard was the roaring in her own ears.

Faith was fucking with her again. What kind of game was she playing this time? Buffy pushed aside the thought that jealousy was the cause of her reaction, jealousy of whoever was on the other end of the phone that Faith was in love with.

_Right, like Faith even knows the meaning of that word._

You had to be in love with someone or at the very least care for someone to be jealous. Buffy knew, as sure as she knew her own name was Buffy Summers that she didn't even like, let alone love, wasn't even remotely close to falling in love with the Dark Slayer_. _

_Maybe that's the game._

Get her to fall in love with Faith, to only mind fuck her at the last minute. Play with her life, make Buffy the victim again. Well, Buffy wasn't going to let her, this time she was going to beat Faith at her own game.

Unfortunately, for the Scoobies, Faith was out getting coffee and it was them, not Faith, that got hit with the beginnings of Buffy's storm...

...a storm that was slowly churning into a full-blown hurricane.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...then you conned me into thinking ~ that all i had was you ~ the small insinuations were cutting me through cutting me through ~ and now i stand alone here ~ stronger than before ~ and i'll never go back never go back never go ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith walked into the Magic Shop with the coffee, and right into the middle of Hurricane Buffy's private storm. Hurricane Buffy was out in full force, ranting at the Scoobs like a mad woman.

Willow threw a grateful look her way, over the last few weeks they had formed a fragile sort of trust, and Faith knew she had Tara to thank for that. She stood unbelievingly listening to Buffy accuse them of not trying hard enough to find out more about Glory and the key so that **_SHE_** could defeat Glory.

Buffy couldn't be serious, the Scoobs had been spending all of their free time doing research. Helping with patrols, helping with Dawn, feeding Faith. They had given up their lives, never once complaining, always asking how they could help, what more they could do. Faith couldn't remember the last time Buffy had even thanked one of them, or given them some time off so they could take care of personal matters, or just plain old relax.

Couldn't Buffy see the dark circles under all of their eyes from all the late nights spent helping her?

"B" she said in a low voice.

"WHAT?"

"I think you've said enough."

"Really? Cause I didn't know you could think Faith."

Buffy turned her attention back to the Scoobs ignoring Faith. She wasn't done with them yet.

"Don't."

"Excuse me? Go back into the other room and mind your own fucking business. Don't make me throw you back there, or you know... You leaving Sunnydale is still an option Faith."

Faith's determination returned tenfold, as well as a little bit of her self-respect. It was time someone stood up to Hurricane Buffy and knocked the wind right out of her. She finally had enough and she was tired…

…tired of waiting for it all to come out.

…tired of being talked to worse than the lowest scum on the street.

…tired of Buffy constantly threatening her with physical violence.

…tired of Buffy always telling her she could leave or threatening to _'help'_ her leave.

…tired of being treated like Buffy's private whor...

Faith couldn't even finish that thought. Desperate not to believe what she thought about herself deep down inside, Buffy believed too.

…fuck it; she was just plain old tired.

Never again would she let herself be someone's verbal or physical punching bag. Been there, done that, not going there again.

"This is my business B, and I don't care if you like it or not."

"I don't think so, and I am sure they would agree with me."

"Not this time."

"Oh and what they're on your side now Faith? You really are crazy, they hate you Faith, or haven't you noticed?"

"It's not me I'm worried about them hating B, I deserve their hate, I treated all of you like shit. It's you B, you who I'm worried about them hating. Can't you see what you're doing?"

"Me? Please. I'm not doing anything."

Faith moved closer to Buffy. The coldness in Buffy's eyes killing her, she had to break through that ice somehow.

"Yes you are. You're pushing everyone away. You're treating them like shit. Every day you cut yourself off more and more. Every day you become colder, more distant. You are losing all the good things about you. The things that make them follow you; make them look up to you. The things that have them here night after night helping you, the things that make them risk their lives every night helping you slay.

"The things, the reasons Willow decided to stay here and go to college instead of somewhere safe. The things that make me want to be just like you. Made me want to change who I was, made me want to gain your trust, your respect. You're losing everything that makes you, you, B." Believe me you don't want to that road. It's a dark, lonely, angry place."

"Did I miss something? When did you start caring about other people? What happened to the _'Get some, Get gone' _girl? The girl who only cared about herself and what she could get from people? What happened to the _'Want, Take, Have'_ girl who never cared about the consequences? When did you become such an expert on people, is it something they taught you in jail?"

"I was always the expert; I learned the hard way how. I learned young how to keep people at a distance. Look where it got me. It got me nowhere, it got people hurt, someone killed. If you want to know what happened to that girl well she looked in the mirror one day and didn't like what she saw. In fact, she hated what she saw.

"Hated it enough to head down a road that she hoped would get her killed. If you get nothing else from me, at least learn from my mistakes. Don't learn how I had to learn, don't risk everything you have here. I would give anything for an hour of what you have here with these people. Hate me if you want to, pick on me, keep me at a distance, I can take it; there is nothing you can do to me that hasn't been done before. The worst you couldn't even do if you wanted too. But don't do it to them, they don't deserve it. 'Cause B if you keep it up you're gonna end up on that road, end up losing them. B don't do it. 'Cause I gotta tell you that when I look at you, I don't know who you are anymore. When I look at you I see..."

Buffy cut her off. "Tell me, Faith. What do you see when you look at me? Tell me!" Buffy demanded coldly.

Faith's gut was telling her she wasn't getting through to Buffy, and she saw the Scoobs were holding their breathes waiting for her to answer Buffy.

_No matter what it takes even if she ends up hating me._

Faith took a deep shuddering breath and said what she knew would be the worst insult she could ever give Buffy.

"_Me_. I see _me_. The _me_ that you put a knife into, the _me_ that threatened Willow, the _me_ that tried to strangle Xander, the _me_ that threatened your Mom, the _me_ that slept with Riley, the _me_ that tried to kill Angel. When I look at you I see that _me_. You've seen her too, she was the part of you that let you put the knife in me." She felt it coming, the rage from deep down inside of Buffy. Faith felt it coming.

She saw the deadly look in Buffy's eyes, but she also saw hurt and confusion. There was hate for her there, hate for her for doing this in front of the Scoobs, hate for her because she had compared Buffy to herself. But she saw an even deeper hate. No. Not hate but a hurt, and somehow she knew it was a hurt she had caused, but she didn't know how.

"**_FUCK YOU! _**How dare you compare me to you! I am nothing like you! I could never be anything like you! I don't hurt, kill people! I help people, do you hear me?! **_I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU!_**" Even as she was yelling it, she knew it was a lie. Knew that there was a part of her that was just like Faith, knew she was going down that road, she was... losing her humanity.

Buffy was lost, she didn't know what to do anymore. Didn't understand why she had been doing this, or why she had been taking the brunt of it out on Faith. Why out of everyone, it was Faith who she needed to push away the hardest, the most and not just now, but before too.

Then she remembered the phone call, Faith might be right about how she had been acting. But Buffy was now more than ever convinced that in order for Faith's game to work she needed the old Buffy not this new Buffy. Faith had to help her in order to hurt her, only this time the only one who was going to benefit from it would be Buffy herself, and Buffy was determined that, that was the way it was going to happen.

Buffy locked eyes with Faith. Faith stared back at her not hiding anything, everything she felt was in that stare. And Buffy knew one thing from that stare, absolutely, Faith may love whoever was on the phone, but Faith was in love with her.

And it should have been enough to stop this now before it got worse. Would have been if Buffy hadn't given over totally to the rage, the hurt, the pain, the jealousy. Had let the Dark Slayer say all the things that should have been said before, instead of stopping her time after time.

All the things that needed to be said between them, the hurt, the fear, the pain; all of it was there in the raging storm that was Buffy. What came crashing through the surf on a tidal wave of anger, were angry words, twisted words, cruel words. Words that deep down inside Buffy knew were lies. Words that would haunt Buffy forever. Words that Buffy said anyway.

They came from an ugly place inside of her...

...a place that Faith had been trying so hard to keep her away from.

"Faith, do you remember what I said to you that night on Angel's roof when you told me that Angel said I would never give you a chance?

Faith knew. That night was seared into her soul. She could hear Buffy as clearly in her mind right now as she did that night.

_'I gave you every chance! I tried so hard to help you, and you spat on me. My life was just something for you to play with. Angel - Riley - anything that you could take from me - you took. I've lost battles before - but nobody else has – ever - made me a victim.'_

"You said I was the only one who had ever made you a victim." Faith had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"These last three weeks, have just been a game to keep me occupied. You know that, don't you Faith? I took what you had to offer. How could you even think it could be more than that? Did you honestly think that I could ever love someone like you? Spike would have a better chance.

"Why so surprised? What? Did you forget who... what you are? What you've always been? How could anyone ever love that? How does it feel to have your life be something for someone to play with? How does it feel to lose? Tell me Faith how does it feel to be a victim?" The second the words were out, Buffy wanted to take them back. Who was she, what had she become? She felt sick to her stomach.

Buffy's words came at Faith like a hammer, familiar words, words she had heard many times before, and they added their voice to the words from the past...

'_Love you?... _

_What's to love?... _

_You're nothing, nobody... _

_Trash... worse than trash... _

_Who could ever love trash?...' _

So many words, words Faith had always believed. But she had forgotten to protect herself this time. Had forgotten to close off that part of herself so the words could never hurt her again. Until now she had always protected herself in order to survive, and now she remembered why.

Faith started trembling; she closed her eyes, not wanting them to see her cry. The tears came anyway, seeping out from beneath her closed lids.

"Pain, it's all pain." Faith whispered brokenly. "You want to know what it else it feels like B... it feels like I never left my mother's house."

Faith opened her eyes, the tears still silently falling. The hurt, the pain, the shame, they all saw in her eyes was as deep and endless as a black hole. New hurt, new pain, old hurt, old pain, old shame. The kind of hurt and pain that leaves hidden scars forever etched upon your soul.

"Fai..." Buffy started to reach towards her but Faith pushed her away, knocking Buffy to the floor and ran out into the black night.

**_"WHY?"_**

They all shivered when they heard that heart wrenching, anguished cry echo to them from the darkness outside.

_Oh my God, what have I done? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!_

Buffy scrambled up from the floor and took off out the door running after Faith calling her name.

Buffy ran for hours, she ran until her legs gave out and then she got back up and ran some more. Buffy looked everywhere but never found Faith. It was like the night had taken Faith and swallowed her whole.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...and now i will say goodbye ~ cause all the shit that we've been though ~ put wisdom in my eyes ~ so walk away, don't turn around ~ cause i won't be standing here ~ cause all the lies that i've been living through are becoming very clear ~ and beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become ~ beauty thus become - Tantric

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	10. IX - Hundreds of Tears

IX – Hundreds of Tears

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I stood in the warmth of the light ~ Chilled to the bone ~ Hundreds of faces in sight ~ Still I was alone ~ Door after door ~ And room after empty room ~ I've stood here before ~ But under a different moon...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She ran blinded by her tears; she didn't know where she was going. What did it matter anyway? She ran from the voices in her head, from her past, from the pain, the never-ending pain. Had there ever been a time in her life when it wasn't there?

Faith kept running, until she stumbled and fell coming down hard on her knees. All the pain she had caused others was coming back at her tenfold; to join with the pain she had carried with her since she was a child. It all became confused, jumbled, mixed together, even the pain, the shame she still believed she deserved as a child.

**_'We reap what we sow.' _**

How many times had her Mother told her that?

Hundreds, thousands, more than that?

**_It was all her fault wasn't it? _**

Her fault, her Mother couldn't love her.

Her fault, that Johnny came to her in the night.

Her fault, that her bones got broken.

Her fault, her mind, body, soul, were raped and abused.

Year after year, time and time again.

**_'When would she learn?' _**

How many times had her Mother asked her that?

She still hadn't learned, had she?

In the end, and deep down Faith believed this.

She had become everything they always told her she was.

Everything they said she'd be.

Hadn't she?

Faith got up and started running again. From the ugly little secrets she kept locked up tightly in a deep dark place inside her, that had managed to get free. From the _Reaper_ hot on her heels, it was harvest time, and Faith doubted he would show any mercy. Why would he, he never had before.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

... I've walked in and out of the fire ~ Between truth and lies ~ Now how many children watch ~ While one child cry's ~ I'll tear down these walls ~ And watch while their souls are freed ~ I'll throw away pride ~ To drown in this endless sea...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She checked the Magic Shop, the cemeteries, the Mansion, screaming Faith's name, until her throat was raw, and her voice could not rise above a whisper. Still she called, hoping that Faith would hear her with her Slayer hearing. But there was no sign of Faith. All her things were still at the Mansion, her wallet, her bag still at the Magic Shop.

Buffy went home, got Dawn and went back to the Mansion to wait.

She curled up on the couch, staring blankly into the empty fireplace. Her mind was racing a mile a minute; she prayed Faith was someplace safe.

_What have I done?_

_Who am I?_

_I don't think I know anymore._

_Why didn't I listen?_

_How did I get to this point?_

_Have I really become this hard?_

_Is there anything left of who I use to be?_

_Anything left to salvage?_

_Do I really have nothing left to give?_

_Is there no love left in my heart?_

_No compassion, forgiveness, sympathy, moral compass, empathy, trust, understanding?_

_Is there nothing left?_

_Is there just the nothing?_

_Oh, God what have I become?_

**_WHAT HAVE I DONE?_**

Had the years, the weight of slaying done this to her?

Unlike Faith, who thought that being the Slayer was a gift, an honor to have been chosen. A way for her to do the right thing, a way to give back to the world something good, even to a world that had never given her anything but pain. To Faith, being chosen had been her salvation, the chance for her to be the hero, to help the innocent, to right something that was wrong.

_No. Not me, not a gift, it's a curse._

It felt like the weight of the world lived on her shoulders and in a way, it did. Buffy had begun to believe that she needed to be uncaring, tough, hard, in order to be the Slayer. That caring just got in the way, might cause her to hesitate, make mistakes. Little by little, she felt like she was losing her humanity.

Every thought of what she had done to Faith was like a punch in the stomach. How she had callously used Faith, verbally abusing her. Had actually slapped her hard enough to bruise her that first night. Threatened her and in the end this morning she had hurt Faith just because she knew she could. Had used the one thing against Faith that she knew would cut her the deepest. Had taken the love that Faith gave her freely, gave to Buffy without once ever asking anything of Buffy in return and...

_Piece of shit I am, what do I do? I throw it back in her face. Like it was worth less than the dirt under my feet. What have I become, where did the me I always thought I was go? Was I ever really that person or am I fooling myself again? Was that 'Buffy' just someone I made up in my head?_

_When will I stop punishing her? Punishing her for both our mistakes._

Punishing Faith for what had happened when the world came crashing down around both of them the night Allan died. Punishing Faith for her own mistakes. How hard had she really tried to help Faith after that night? She was too busy with her own problems, so she had let herself believe Faith's false bravado, false words that she had it all under control. But Buffy knew better, had known better that night. Had opportunities after that night to help the Dark Slayer. Had tried but only half-heartedly. She may have only been a teenager herself but she knew Faith had been hurting, knew because of the connection that they shared.

It went even deeper than that, because even back then Buffy felt more for Faith than just a _'Slayer connection'_ and it scared her then just like it did now. Fear, Buffy knew now was a big part of her inability to help Faith in the past, and her unwillingness to forgive Faith now. There was blame to be shared by both of them and it was time Buffy took her own fair share.

Buffy had made sacrifices as the Slayer, had been willing to give up her life to save the world, had sent Angel to hell, those were the easy choices. But when was the last time she had ever made a personal sacrifice? Had put someone else's needs before her own? Buffy realized with a sickening feeling that she couldn't remember the last time she had done that.

Faith had though. Faith had come to Sunnydale with no other thought but to help her. What Buffy finally understood was that she would not have a chance of surviving Glory if she kept going down the path she was on. Would not survive at all if she lost everyone, would not have survived this long if she hadn't had the Scoobs and Giles in the first place. She wondered how Faith had managed to survive this long all alone. She had to admire her for it, because Buffy doubted she would of been able to. Was, in fact, amazed that Faith could find any joy at all.

Faith had been willing to risk everything, including her own life to make Buffy understand what it was that was happening to her. Buffy doubted that she would have been able to make that same sacrifice. Faith had proven herself time and again over the last few weeks. Starting from the very first night Buffy had found her in Angel's apartment.

Today... today... Faith had made the ultimate sacrifice, she had put aside her own wants, desires, needs, and said the one thing to her, that Faith had to have known would cause her to hate her; in a final effort to get her off her current path.

All of it came crashing into Buffy at once, all her actions, her words, the cruel words she had said today when she knew... she knew that what Faith said was true. When she knew Faith had changed. When she knew Faith was in love with her. When she knew that she felt the same way. Why? Because she was jealous, because she had forgotten how to forgive, because she was afraid, because somewhere along the line she had lost her way. She knew all of this, knew it in a blinding moment of clarity and even knowing it had said and done it anyway.

Buffy felt sick to her stomach, she got up running for the bathroom, and barely made it there in time.

She curled back up onto the couch into a little ball and started to cry. It wasn't for herself she cried, she cried for all the pain she had seen in the Dark Slayer's eyes, and for the pain she carelessly and cruelly added.

_So so so sorry, I am so sorry._

_Please let her be safe._

_What I did... So sorry._

_Can I ever make it right?_

_Could you ever forgive me?_

_Can I ever forgive me?_

As she cried one thing became very clear to her, it was she who didn't deserve Faith, not the other way around.

And as she drifted off into an exhausted sleep it was wondering...

How was it that Faith, who the world had never given anything to but pain, hurt, sorrow, loneliness, and abuse, had managed to keep her humanity; while Buffy, who the world had given everything to, love, joy, friends, family, a home, had managed to lose hers?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

... Hundreds of tears on the water ~ Mercy come rain down on me...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith ran until she reached the highway and put out her thumb trying to hitch a ride with an oncoming car. The driver slowed down, took one look at the wild eyed, disheveled Slayer, and sped off. She could only imagine what she looked like. She would probably be afraid to pick her up too. She saw a gas station up in the distance and quickly headed towards it.

Luckily, the bathroom wasn't locked, although she didn't think it would have been a problem for her to break in. She gasped when she saw herself in the mirror. Her face was streaked with dirt, mascara and tears. She didn't think there was any white left in her eyes, which were almost swollen shut from all the crying. The pain she saw in her own eyes scared even her. Her hair had leaves and twigs in it, and looked like someone had taken a damn teasing comb to it. She was not only an emotion mess, but a physical one too.

There were cuts, scrapes, bruises, on her face, chest, arms, legs, you name it. She was still in the same clothes from this morning and they too were covered in dirt. Faith turned on the water, no hot water, hell why should there be, that would be asking for too much, wouldn't it? She took off the lifting gloves and her hands shook a little when she saw the scars, which stood out even more since they were the only part of her hands not covered in dirt.

Mentally she slapped herself. She couldn't keep falling apart, she had to get her shit back together. She wouldn't be any good to herself this way. She cleaned up as best she could, 'cause there wasn't any damn soap either.

She drank water from the grungy tap because she had lost her wallet somewhere after she had run out of the Magic Shop.

_Big surprise, mother-fucker, just can't catch one god-damn, son-of-a-bitch, fucking, break!_

She needed to get away, even if only for a few days. Faith knew she couldn't go back right now, knew if she saw Buffy she would lose it, not hurt her, never hurt her, not ever again. Hell and how screwed up was she, she knew if Buffy wanted to still be with her, even if things went right back to the way they were, she wouldn't say no.

Faith had to wonder if she didn't like the abuse. She disregarded that thought quickly. She didn't like to be abused. No, what attracted her to Buffy were all the things Faith knew Buffy was. Had been there when Faith first meet her, the things that Faith knew instinctively were still there behind the wall Buffy had been hiding behind. Faith realized something else as well; both of their lives had taken a turn for the worst the night Allan had died. The only difference between them was that while Faith had taken a short cut, Buffy had taken the long way, but both had been heading for the same destination.

She finished cleaning up and took one last look at herself in the mirror. She smiled a sad smile at herself. No matter what else had happened today, she knew that Buffy was no longer on that path. Regardless of everything else that happened Faith could be proud of that. She left the bathroom, still shaky, still scared, but her back was straight, her shoulders square. Life sucked, but fuck it, she had always known that anyway.

She started walking down the highway in the direction of the only place the Dark Slayer had ever come close to calling home.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Hundreds of tears on the water ~ Mercy come rain down on me...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_What the... Phone! Bag... where's did I put her bag?..._

Buffy practically broke her neck running for the phone that was in Faith's gym bag at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hello..." Buffy peered at the clock it was four-thirty in the morning.

"Buffy?"

"Angel..." There was silence for a minute, neither one sure what to say.

"Is everything OK? Is Faith all right? Why are you answering her phone? Can I talk to her? Where is she?" He knew he should have called earlier.

Buffy cut him off, "No. I don't know if she's OK, I don't know where she is." She started crying softly again.

"What happened? What did you do Buffy?" There was real anger in his voice... Buffy couldn't remember... No, she could remember the last time.

It was the night at his office, the night she had told Faith to go to jail.

What was she going to tell him?

How was she going to tell him?

She didn't want to hurt him anymore than Faith did. He was her first love; he would always be special to her. They might even still be together if things had been different. Although she wasn't really sure of that anymore. Inside she knew that even if he told her tomorrow that they could be together that it wouldn't be him she would choose if she was given a choice.

"I... I... fucked up. I, we, well we had a fight, I said things... cruel things, things no one shou... I hurt her... I hurt her bad Angel and all she was trying to do was help me. But I couldn't, wouldn't see that... I was wrong so wrong... and now I don't know where she is. I don't know where to look... I came to the Mansion hoping she would come here but she hasn't... I've been treating her like shit and she just kept trying harder... I looked everywhere. Her stuff is still here; her bag and her wallet were at the shop... I don't know where she is and I'm scared. Scared for her." She started crying harder.

"How..." He had to stop himself, he was so angry. He should have never let Faith go there, he knew it! He also knew he couldn't have stopped her either. Goddamn it! He took a deep breath, even though he had no need for air. "I knew it. I knew something was wrong, goddamn it! I knew it when I talked to her today."

"You talked to Faith today? When? What time was it, maybe she called you after she left, at least then we'll know she's all right..." The sick feeling in her stomach was already telling her what he was going to say. It was Angel that she had heard Faith talking to earlier when she had eavesdropped on her phone call.

"Early, it was around eight or so, she said something about going out to get coffee so it had to be before she took off. Tell me what happened. What the fuck has been going on there that she felt she needed to run?"

Buffy told him everything, well almost everything, she didn't tell him about she and Faith sleeping together. She would not screw up Faith's relationship with Angel by telling him that. She told him everything else, and didn't try to make the picture pretty for herself at all. She was brutally honest about what she had done.

"**_HOW_**_**COULD YOU?**_ Are you blind, couldn't you see she's changed? Couldn't you have believed me at least? I had no reason to lie to you. Why didn't you call me if you were still doubtful? What's happened to you? The person, the Buffy I knew would have never done this ever..." There was so much anger in his voice, so much concern there for Faith. He truly cared for her, and Buffy felt even worse than before.

"I don't know... I have no excuse... I was so wrong... I'm not sure who I am anymore..."

Angel didn't say anything, there was nothing that he wanted to say that could help the situation. Right now, he had no desire to help Buffy at all; his only concern was for Faith. His only hope that Faith would come here, come to the only place she had once told him, _'Feel safe here Soul-boy. First time in a long time. Thanks.'_

"Angel?"

"What?"

"Please, I know... I know you don't have to, but if she comes there, please, please let me know... I need to know she's safe... That she's all right." She waited for him to answer her. "Angel, please?"

"Fine." He hung up on her without another word.

Buffy went back to the couch. She looked out the glass doors into the garden; dawn was on its way. As she stared, all she saw was Faith, sitting out there, that morning what felt like a small eternity ago with her hand out towards Buffy in a silent request. How for a brief moment in time as they watched the sun rise, there was only them, comfortable, warm, together, and that was enough, it was more than enough.

Buffy watched as the sun rose into the sky, only this time it brought no promises with it for the new day.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Angel found her on the balcony waiting for him. She was sitting on the ground, her back against the wall, her arms wrapped around her knees, shivering in the damp morning air.

He went to her and lifted her into his arms, cradling her, like he had all those months ago.

Together in silence, as the vampire with a soul held the Dark Slayer, both of their faces turned up to the sky, they waited for the sunrise to bring to them the promises of the new day.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

He carried her into the room that he still kept for her. He had lied to Buffy when he told her that Faith had been staying in an apartment. She had been with him here at the hotel. He didn't think that it would have gone over to well with Buffy.

Faith slept for almost twenty-four hours straight. When she had first got there, Angel had worried that she had slipped back into that dark place. She was quick to assure him that she was all right. Okay, well, not exactly _'Five by Five,'_ more like _'One by One' _but she would be okay...

She was exhausted she had walked for hours until some elderly couple had finally taken pity on her and given her a lift. Otherwise, she probably would have still been walking. As was his way Angel didn't push her, when she was ready she would talk.

Angel was waiting for her in the kitchen when she got out of the shower. Thankfully, she still had clothes there. He had a huge breakfast waiting for her. She gave him a grateful smile; even though she wasn't hungry she ate. She wasn't looking forward to the upcoming conversation she was going to have with him. He deserved to know the whole truth. She knew he had talked to Buffy and also knew that whatever Buffy had told him she hadn't told him everything.

Angel watched Faith while she ate. She kept peeking out at him from under her lashes when she thought he wasn't looking. He could tell she was nervous. There was a little bit of fear in her eyes as well, he knew she was afraid she would lose him after she told him what had happened between her and Buffy. He knew what she was going to tell him. His vampire senses had told him the second he caught her scent out on the balcony the night before. He could have told her he knew already, but he knew this was something she needed to do.

He was hurt, but he wasn't going to fool himself, he was over two-hundred-years-old, he was realistic. He had come to terms with the fact that he couldn't be with Buffy that way a long time ago. That he was probably never meant to be in the first place. He was all right with it now, his time would come someday, he knew that Buffy wasn't his destiny. The Chosen Two would have been surprised to know that if he had to pick someone for either of them to share their lives with, he would have picked them for each other.

Angel had hoped that when he had told Buffy she could apologize herself that she would get her butt in gear and come to L.A., it was a hope that as of now, had yet to be fulfilled. That apology needed to come from Buffy's lips not his.

Faith finally finished her food. Angel would have smiled if the situation wasn't so serious, he had never seen her eat so slow. She lifted her head, and stared unwavering into his eyes, so much pain in those eyes he thought, for someone so young.

"So I guess ya wanna know what happened..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"That's all of it. I'm sorry Angel. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want to lie to you. Please don't hate me." Faith waited for him to say something.

She figured he would throw her out, she could feel the anger coming off him in waves. Once again, she had hurt someone, it didn't matter whether it was intentional or not. Didn't matter whether she started it, she still had done it, she could have said no, but she hadn't. She knew better, and had hurt one of the few people in her life that had ever been good to her. _They _had been right, she was a piece of shit, and she always would be.

Angel watched Faith as she sat there, her eyes downcast, biting her lip, he knew she was trying not to cry. Her body was tense, as if she were waiting for a blow; he knew that Faith knew he was angry. He was pissed all right, but it wasn't at her, it was at Buffy.

"Faith," he tried to keep the anger out of his voice but didn't succeed. He saw Faith jump a little at the tone of his voice.

"Faith," he tried again, this time his voice held nothing but concern for the Dark Slayer. Still she didn't look at him. "Faith, please look at me."

She raised her eyes to him, he thought to himself once again, so much pain, in one so young. At least now he had an idea of where some of it had come from, the answer she had given to Buffy about being a victim was telling, in and of itself, although he had suspected as much before.

"I'm not angry with you Faith. I am angry, but it's for you, not at you." He could tell that she wanted to believe him, but after all the years of being hurt and what had just happened with Buffy she was struggling with it. She expected the worst from people, and they very rarely disappointed her. He wasn't going to be one of them. He wished he was better at this.

"But..." He held up his hand to halt her words, and cringed internally when he saw she shrank back a little.

"No buts. You did nothing wrong. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt, because it does. But I knew a long time ago that Buffy and I weren't meant to be together. I dealt with it. What she did to you was wrong, and I am pissed at her, not you. A part of me can't even believe she did that. She's a fool if she doesn't see what's standing in front of her. Right now I don't think she deserves anything you have to offer her." Angel saw the confusion in Faith's face.

Buffy didn't deserve her? He must have gone insane while she was gone.

"Look, I knew there was something between the two of you from the start. You and she share a connection as Slayers. A bond, an understanding that she and I could never share. I saw it the night I saw the two of you dancing together at the Bronze, had felt it even before that. You two understand each other in ways that no one else ever could. If I hadn't come back from hell, things might have turned out different back then between you two. Although Buffy has always been good at denial, and I think that it frighten her back then like it does now. If I had to pick someone for you and her to share your lives with, it would be each other."

Faith stared at him in surprise and amazement. He could tell that she didn't believed him, thought that he was lying to try and make her feel better. Faith couldn't figure out why. Why bother? Even if he did believe what he was saying, Faith didn't. Had never believed she was good enough for anyone, had always believed what she had been told and still did, now more than ever...

Angel was determined that he would somehow find a way to show the Dark Slayer she was wrong.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The five days since Faith had left felt like the longest in Buffy's life. A lot had happened. She had found herself again. Had spent the days after the _'Quest' _she had gone on for answers reevaluating her life, herself. She had gotten some of the answers she sought, she didn't like all of them, but she knew what she wanted, knew what to do next. Now all she needed was for Dawn to get home from school.

Buffy let her mind drift back to the events that led up to her _'Quest'_. She closed her eyes and saw pieces of it as if they were snippets of a movie.

_It had started with the phone call from Angel the morning after Faith had disappeared..._

"Is she OK?"

"No she's not. Thanks to you."

"Can I tal..."

"No you can't talk to her. If she wants to talk to you, she'll call you. Get your shit together Buffy. Figure out what you want, where you're going. Because you're no good to anyone the way you are now. Until you do that, I don't want you calling here. You've already caused enough damage, I won't let you cause anymore. Do you understand?"

"Yes... I understand. Angel... tell her, tell her I'm sorry."

"No. You can tell her yourself if she ever talks to you again." For the second time he hung up on her without another word.

She had spent the day thinking about what Angel said. Thinking about how she got to this point, why she had gotten to this point.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_...then her conversation with Giles later that night..._

"...I've been feeling kind of uneasy about stuff... Training, slaying... All of it. I mean, I can beat up demons until the cows come home, and then I can beat up the cows, but I'm not sure I like what it's doing to me... Yeah, strength and resilience, those are like words for hardness. I'm starting to feel like, like being the Slayer is sort of turning me to stone... I'm just... look, think about it. I was never really there for Riley, not like I was for Angel. I was terrible to Dawn... Before that. Riley left because I was shut down. He's gone - _And Faith's gone - _and Mom's gone and I really loved her, but I don't know if I... if I let her know... To slay, to kill, you have to be kind of hard inside. Maybe being the perfect Slayer means being too hard to love at all. I already feel like I can hardly say the words."

"How serious are you about this?" Giles had asked.

"Ten. Serious to the amount of ten."

"There is something. In the Watcher's Diaries. A Quest.

"A quest. Like find a grail or something?"

"Not a grail. Maybe some answers. It would take a day, perhaps two. As your Watcher, I'd be part of it. There's  
>an incantation..."<p>

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_...then with her Guide in the desert the next night..._

"I know you. You're the first Slayer."

"This is a form. I am the Guide."

"This Slayer thing. What about... love?"

"You think you're losing your ability to love... You're afraid that being the Slayer means losing your humanity."

"Does it?"

"You are full of love. You love with all of your soul. It's brighter than the fire, blinding. That's why you pull away from it."

"I'm full of love? I'm not losing it?"

"Only if you reject it. Love is pain and the Slayer forges strength from pain... Love. Give. Forgive. Risk the pain. It is your nature. Love will bring you to your gift... Death is your gift... Your question has been answered..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Buffy I'm home."

Buffy came out of her almost trance-like state. She got up quickly from the couch and stopped Dawn from taking off her coat.

"Come on we have to go."

"Where're we going? What's going on? Is everything OK? Is Glory..." Dawn looked a little scared, nervous.

_Shit..._

"Everything is fine, I'll explain in the car, 'K?"

Ten minutes later, they pulled up in front of Willow and Tara's place. Buffy and Dawn went inside. Buffy knocked praying that the two witches were home.

_Smart Slayer, phone, you know call first, Ma Bell._

"Buffy?" Willow barely got out of the way, before Buffy brushed past her into the apartment.

"Will, Tara I need your help..."

**Xxxxxxxxxx**

...Hundreds of tears on the water ~ Mercy come rain down on me ~ In the longest days and the darkest nights ~ Down the longest road there's a presence of light ~ I hear a voice that calls me ~ It's love's name I call ~ In the end – Sheryl Crow

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	11. X - Blue Sun

X – Blue Sun

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was lying on the couch in the office brooding. She was becoming quite good at it. She was returning to Sunnydale in two days. She knew she had to go back, she was supposed to help Buffy with the whole Glory thing. The demon had told her as much when she had sung for him. She felt like a lifetime had passed since she had gone back to Sunnydale. She had no idea how she was going to handle being back there. She was embarrassed to face the Scoobs again. Embarrassed and ashamed by what everyone now probably knew about her. What did it matter? They probably hated her again anyway for what she had done.

Angel was watching her from his desk, well, actually Wesley's desk now. He knew she was thinking about Sunnydale. He knew she was dreading going back in two days. Without her telling him, he knew Faith thought she was going to get an even worse reception than she did the last time she went back. She was refusing to talk to him about it, thinking she was sparing his feelings. Faith was back to hiding behind the protective wall that had enabled her to survive for so long.

That first morning Angel had told Faith that Buffy had asked him to call her if she came there to let her know if she was all right. But he had neglected to tell Faith that Buffy had said she was sorry, that she was worried about Faith. And by the end of that first day he had watched as the little bit of hope in her eyes put there by the knowledge that Buffy had at least called looking for her had faded and with dismay, he realized he had screwed up. He should have told Faith everything and he did the next day, but it was too late, Faith had already retreated behind her protective wall. Now, she just thought he was lying to make her feel better. Damn Buffy, he had believed her. Thought for sure she would show up in L.A. or at the very least, keep calling. There hadn't been one phone call and after five days, he had little hope that Buffy would show.

He had made absolutely no progress in persuading Faith that she was wrong. That she did deserve happiness, someone to love her. Angel realized it wasn't him she needed to hear the _'I'm sorry'_ from, wasn't him that could convince her she was worthy. Faith accepted his love for her, because she thought of them as kindred souls, both seeking redemption, both having caused pain and suffering in other's lives.

Faith had told Angel that unlike him, she would always be unworthy. She thought that the only reason he had lost his soul after his one true moment of happiness was because he had not found redemption yet. She believed that once he did find redemption his soul would become permanent. But unlike him, there would never be any real redemption for her.

_'Why do you think that Faith?' _he had asked her.

_'Because Soul-Boy you didn't have a choice. The demon was controlling you, you didn't have a soul. I don't have that excuse.'_

So Angel just sat and brooded with the Dark Slayer. There was nothing left he could say to help her. It was hard. He hoped that time and patience would help Faith to heal, to find her way and realize her own self-worth. He was considering going with her back to Sunnydale, he had the feeling though that this was something she should do alone.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The _'Brooding Twins' _were at it again for the fourth day in a row. Cordelia had started calling Faith _'Junior' _for Angel Jr. She was going to kick Buffy's ass, Slayer or no Slayer, the next time she set eyes on her.

The Cordelia who had always been quick with the cutting remarks, that seldom missed their mark, no longer existed. Sure, she still threw out a zinger or two, she was only human, but she no longer went for the jugular, was no longer vindictive or malicious. Usually her cuts were more as a wakeup call, not meant to hurt someone in any real sense or way.

She had become more sensitive to the pain of others. First, when she had been thrown into virtual poverty after her father had his run-in with the I.R.S. Then more as she worked with Angel, seeing him on a daily basis, and the work he did to help the innocent. But for her it had really hit home after Doyle had passed on his gift to her. Her visions had given her empathy for others. Cordelia felt, experienced all of the emotions of the innocents in her visions, their fear, pain, helplessness. She had begun to recognize the pain in others, had learned that how everyone dealt with it was different. The world and people's reaction to what had happened to them in it were no longer black and white for her.

Angel had come to Cordelia for help with Faith after the second week of bringing her back after _'The Incident.'_ He had realized that he could not take care of Faith alone and needed help. He could not be with her twenty-four-seven. He was having trouble getting Faith to eat. After so many years of not eating food, he had no idea of what kinds of foods to feed Faith to tempt her to eat. He was hoping that Cordelia would be able to help him, having known Faith the first time she was in Sunnydale.

Angel filled Cordelia in on everything that had happened with Faith since she had gone to jail, up to the events that led him to bringing her back to the hotel. She couldn't believe that Angel had managed to hide Faith right in the hotel without any of them knowing. Cordelia was extremely doubtful, suspicious of what Angel told her about the Dark Slayer. Her initial reaction was that Faith was pulling the wool over Angel's eyes. Sometimes his need to help others and find redemption got in the way of his good judgment.

Any doubt or suspicion Cordelia had was dispelled instantly the moment she saw the Dark Slayer. One look and Cordelia knew that no one was that good of an actor.

_'Queen C' _immediately sprang into action. She didn't know the meaning of the word _'No'_. She bullied, cajoled, pushed, tugged, gently threatened, but she got Faith to start eating again. Then Angel had gone off the deep end for a while after Darla had been turned and Cordelia had taken over sole responsibility for Faith. _'Queen C'_ came back into play and enlisted both Gunn and Wesley's help.

Wesley had taken a little work, after all Faith had introduced him to the five basic torture groups. In some ways, he even blamed himself for Faith's trip over to the dark side. Maybe if he had listened to Giles a little more instead of trying to be a by-the-book watcher, none of it would have happened. He had trusted in Angel's judgment before, so he gave in to Cordelia and agreed to help. After a week of helping with the Dark Slayer, he realized that the torture Faith was inflicting on herself both mentally and physically had long surpassed anything she had done to him. Wesley realized the _'Faith'_ that had tortured him no longer existed, the Dark Slayer had for all intent and purposes killed that Faith.

In the process of helping Faith, Cordelia had become extremely protective of her. The pain she had seen in Faith's eyes could have more than filled the entire hotel. Faith made very little progress with Angel gone. She was reluctant to talk with any of the others, and spoke only to apologize. And every morning like clockwork, Faith would go and wait out on the balcony for Angel to come and bring the new day in with her. When he didn't, she would sink back into the dark place she lived in for hours, sometimes days. It would take the three of them to restrain her from clawing at her hands. Even though Cordelia was pissed at Angel, she was thankful when he finally had his epiphany and returned. If for nothing else that he was the only one who seemed able to truly reach Faith, who began to steadily get better after he came back.

Looking at them now, she realized that they were a lot alike and completely different at the same time. It was a little confusing but, at the same time, it wasn't. Despite all the bad they had done in their lives, all the pain they had inflicted and endured, there was an innocence about them both. The simple things brought them joy. Neither one of them took anything for granted, each grateful for another day. Each striving to make up for the past, to learn to accept, like, and maybe someday, even love themselves. It didn't surprise Cordelia in the least that Buffy got involved with both of them. There was an air of hope about them that was contagious. Although Faith had seemed to lose hers after what had happened and it worried Cordelia a little. Actually it worried her a lot...

Sighing, she rose from her desk and walked over to Angel's or rather Wesley's office; it was time for _'Queen C'_ to get involved. Both Angel and Faith saw Cordy coming, they knew that look and both started scrambling. Faith sat up and started to get off the couch. Angel stood up so fast he tipped the chair over. Cordy just stopped in the doorway, raised an eyebrow at them and smiled.

"Let me guess. All of a sudden you both have somewhere to be." Cordy found it vastly amusing that both the vampire and the Slayer went running when she had on her _'Queen C'_ face. Her smile grew even broader.

"Ah yeah... Have to go see a...demon...about a... demon."

"Really?"

"Yup Que...um Cord – yd – delia. We should get going, don't ya think Angel?" Cordelia didn't believe them for a second.

"Sounds interesting, maybe I'll tag along. It's a little boring here today anyway." Angel and Faith looked at each other. No matter what they said, they were trapped.

"We could be gone for at least two maybe three hours. You'd just get bored." Angel didn't know why he was even bothering, they all knew the gig was up. Whatever Cordelia wanted, Cordelia would get.

"Really that's all?" Okay, here it comes thought both the vampire and the Slayer. "Good. That's really good. Cause then you will both have plenty of time to rest a little and get ready."

"Ready?" Both Angel and Faith squeaked out.

"Oh, didn't I tell you? We're going dancing tonight. I expect to be picked up by both of you at ten-thirty. In fact I'll invite Wesley and Gunn, make it a group night out."

"Dancing? Cordy I don't dance."

"You don't sing either Angel. There's always a first time for everything. Besides Faith's a good dancer she can give you lessons." Cordelia just shook her head at Faith before she could protest. As she was walking out of the room, she heard both Angel and Faith groan. She smiled and over her shoulder said.

"Oh and try to leave the whole pathetic brooding thing at home will you. It's just so not attractive."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Both Faith and Angel were looking around the crowded dance floor. Both were wondering how it was that just a look from _'Queen C'_ managed to instill the fear of God in them. They could face down vampires, master vampires, demons, aspiring gods, and all other assorted evil entities, but not a mere human. They both knew from experience how miserable _'Queen C'_ could make their lives if she didn't get her way. Especially when she felt it was important and for some unknown reason, she felt it was important for them to come here tonight. Faith had a sneaky suspicion it was because of her.

This was not going the way Cordelia had planned. She was beginning to think that it was a bad idea. The two of them were still doing the pathetic brooding thing. Angel had an uncomfortable thing going on and Faith was scaring anyone away that tried to approach her with just a look.

Angel's cell phone rang and the look of relief that came over both his and Faith's faces made Cordelia laugh. Angel mumbled something about going outside to take the call and practically ran for the door. About five minutes after Angel left to take the call Cordelia felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see Gunn standing there.

"Hey"

"Hey" Faith and Cordelia said in tandem.

"Let's dance." Cordelia grabbed both Gunn and Faith by the hand not bothering to wait for an answer and dragged them towards the dance floor.

Cordelia knew Faith loved to dance, although tonight she was doing a good job of making it seem like it was torture. You would have to be blind not to know the smile on Faith's face was fake. Faith was dancing but her heart wasn't in it. There wasn't any of the usual joy, none of the wild child could be found out on the dance floor tonight. Her movements were stiff, and she danced as if by rote. There was no passion, no abandonment, no rush, none of the raw sexuality that normally seemed to come from her. From the look in Faith's eyes Cordelia knew Faith was thinking about Buffy.

Faith had hoped that coming to the club and dancing would help to take her mind off Buffy. Instead, it just served to remind her. Every time a petite blonde walked by her, her breath would catch until she saw it wasn't Buffy.

_Delusional now, like Buffy would come looking for me. She hates me._

She had to stop thinking about it. Faith tried to block out everything but the music. She closed her eyes and just let the music flow through her, filling her senses. In her mind's eye, Faith could see, she and Buffy dancing that night at the Bronze before the world came crashing down on them. There had been an abandonment, a wildness, about Buffy that night. There was freedom in that dance; for once, they weren't two Slayers, but just two girls out having fun. Faith could almost sense Buffy. But that was silly there was no way the blonde-haired Slayer would be here.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was just starting to relax into the music, when she heard the opening strains of an all too familiar song being mixed in. She stopped moving. It was the song that had been playing the first time she met Buffy. The song she had sung for the Anagogic demon. Her Slayer senses started tingling.

Faith began turning around before she even felt the gentle touch of a hand on her arm. Afraid, Faith slowly opened her eyes.

And there she was standing right in front of her. Faith wondered if she was dreaming. Dimly she heard Cordelia protesting as Gunn dragged her from the dance floor.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I remember the first time ~ How could I ever forget ~ It was only the beginning ~ Of everything I'd ever get...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy stared up into those dark brown eyes. The rest of the world ceased to exist for her as she drowned in their depths. She lifted her hand from Faith's arm and lightly rested it against Faith's cheek.

"I'm sorry, God I am so sorry. I'm so..." Buffy whispered to her, only to be stopped by Faith tenderly placing her finger on her mouth.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Here's to ancient times and distant memories ~ To the most lavish feast my mind has ever seen...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith stopped Buffy; she wanted this moment, before the rest of the world intruded. Before her own doubts, her own fears forced their way in, before she retreated back to her safe place. Then Buffy was pulling her into those misleadingly strong arms. Faith leaned her forehead against Buffy's, closed her eyes and just gave herself over to the feel of those arms around her once again.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...I tasted your wine, then I drank your soul ~ (I) saw through your kaleidoscope...  
><strong>xxxxxxxxxx<strong>

Buffy sighed as she felt Faith's arms hesitantly slide around her waist. She pulled Faith tighter into her embrace and felt the Dark Slayer tremble slightly. They began to sway together to the music. Each lost in the feel of the other. Each wanting this moment to last forever, each wanting to pretend for a little while, neither wanting to let reality interfere, knowing that it would not be that simple. For neither Slayer, life had never been simple. So, they just continued to sway together, clinging tightly, almost desperately to each other.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Blue Sun ~ Blue Sun ~ I never should have come ~ Never should have left ~ Blue Sun...  
><strong>xxxxxxxxxx<strong>

Faith was adrift, lost, confused, overwhelmed by all of the emotions she was feeling from being in Buffy's arms again. Her mind filled with a kaleidoscope of images, sensations, of Buffy, of her and Buffy together. She knew they only had this short time, she wasn't good enough for Buffy, never could be, never would be. It never once occurred to her to wonder how this three-year-old song was suddenly playing just when Buffy showed up. Or why Buffy was here in L.A., here in this club. No it never occurred to Faith that Buffy had come here for her, had come after her because she cared, not even once.

Faith gave her feelings for Buffy free rein one last time, and it was Faith who tightened the embrace this time. She would let herself have this moment, have this one song. Then she would retreat, she couldn't risk it again, couldn't risk the hurt. So, she just rocked with the golden-haired Slayer thinking it was for the last time.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...These emotions can't be mine ~ I don't want to feel again ~ Fill the void just one more time ~ This will all be over soon...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy relaxed into the tightening embrace of the still trembling Dark Slayer. The song was going to come to an end soon, and Buffy knew that the second it did, Faith would retreat back into her protective shell.

Angel had warned her outside of the club, he had not told her much, just enough. She had asked Angel if Faith even felt anything at all for her anymore after what had happened, and oddly enough, it did not feel strange asking him. Angel told Buffy that she needed to discover that answer for herself. He had told her not to push too hard, until Faith believed in her own self-worth, she would never believe what Buffy felt for her. It was up to her to help Faith find that belief, but Faith needed to lead the way, not Buffy.

Buffy pulled her head back from Faith and looked up at her, into her closed eyes. Eyes that had been so open to her before and Buffy feared they never would be again. Feared she had destroyed any chance they might have had.

"Faith," Buffy waited for Faith to look at her, but she didn't.

Faith was afraid; she knew she couldn't hide what she was feeling. Didn't want to be that vulnerable, was afraid of what she might see in Buffy's eyes, afraid she'd see rejection, but more afraid of seeing something else. More afraid that she might see what she knew was showing in her own eyes, in Buffy's eyes too. Afraid because deep down inside she already knew the truth, but didn't want to believe it, couldn't believe it. It would make her pulling away even harder, would make shutting down the hardest thing she would ever have to do, and do it she was convinced she needed to. Buffy deserved better than her, and Faith would make sure that she didn't stand in her way, make sure Buffy believed it too, no matter how much it cost Faith, no matter how much Faith knew it would hurt.

"Please Faith... Please open your eyes, please look at me..." And Faith opened her eyes unable to resist Buffy's whispered plea.

This was her moment, her time, and it would be over soon. Faith needed to know, she needed that little bit of hope, needed it to help her through all of it, needed it like the air in her lungs. Wanted it to be true, so she would at least have this second, this moment to cherish, to carry with her close to her heart.

The Chosen Two looked raptly into each other's eyes. For once, there was absolutely nothing hidden between them. Buffy's heart leaped at all she saw in those eyes, it gave her hope and firmed up her determination that she would make things right between them no matter what. She wasn't going to lose Faith again. Ever.

Buffy wanted it all, wanted them to have it all. No matter how long it took, no matter what she had to do, she would do it. She had found the other half of herself in the raven-haired Slayer and she was never going to let her go. Whatever time the two Slayers had left in their short lives Buffy wanted them to spend it together, in every sense of the word...

Leaning up Buffy kissed Faith tenderly, softly, with love, trying to convey with the kiss everything she felt for the raven-haired Slayer. Trying to kiss Faith in the same way, with all the same feelings, Faith had kissed her with that night at the Bronze after the first time they were together.

Faith abandoned herself in those eyes, in the emotions she saw there. Then Buffy was kissing her in a way that no one had ever kissed her before and was amazed by all the kiss revealed to her. And then the song was ending...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...I've begun to hear the siren song again ~ Dreaming in a pretty shade of nothingness ~ Transcendental melodies putting me to sleep ~ And I pray the Lord my soul to keep...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy almost started crying when Faith roughly pulled herself out of her embrace, abruptly ending their kiss. She practically had to run to keep up with Faith as she walked off the dance floor quickly and away from her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Blue Sun ~ Blue Sun ~ I never should have come ~ Never should have left ~ Blue Sun...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Angel watched the Slayers as they danced together. He needed to, needed to be sure for himself that he was really over Buffy. While it hurt a little to see her with someone else, he realized that while he loved Buffy he was no longer in love with her. Mostly what he felt when he watched the two Slayers was sad. Sad for them and sad that they were going through this. As he watched them, he realized one thing; that it was Buffy, Faith needed to help her truly heal herself. The path to Faith's total redemption and self-healing lay in Sunnydale and with Buffy. Angel moved to stop Faith from running out of the bar, running away from herself and away from Buffy. If she wouldn't start down that path on her own, he was going to drag her on it himself.

Angel had her by the arm stopping her before she could reach the door.

_Shit! Gotta get out of here!_

"Leaving Faith?"

"_Gotta_ Soul-boy." Her voice was a little desperate.

"Well it would be rude not to say hello to Willow and Tara after they came all this way."

"What?"

Angel just pointed over to the edge of the dance floor where Willow and Tara were standing. They were smiling at Faith, and started coming towards her. Faith was in a panic now, she couldn't tell if they were friend or foe. She was on overload; she had to get out of here, needed to. Out of the corner of her eye, Faith saw Cordelia intercept Buffy.

_Oh no! Poor B! Queen C's got her!_

Despite herself, Faith smiled. She started to move towards Buffy to help her with Cordy only to be stopped again by Angel.

"But... Cordy is..."

"No buts. Cordelia is going to say her piece no matter what, we both know it. Better to get it over now rather than later." Faith nodded, she knew Angel was right. The longer Cordelia stewed the worse it would be for Buffy. Silently wishing Buffy luck, she turned her attention back to the approaching witches.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Both Tara and Willow could sense Faith's trepidation as they approached her. They both had a good idea of what was going on in her mind, they had been part of the conversation between Angel and Buffy. Willow's initial reaction to what had been going on between Faith and Buffy was at first disbelief, then suspicion, and finally acceptance. Buffy had been the one to dispel the suspicion the morning she had shown up at the witches place to ask for help.

Buffy had told Tara, Willow, and Dawn everything that had happened including that it was her not Faith who had initiated the sex. As Willow contemplated all of it on the drive from Sunnydale to L.A. she came to the understanding of just how much Faith loved Buffy. The selflessness of Faith's act the night everything came to a head between the Slayers, was what finally convinced Willow once and for all that Faith had changed. That Faith loved Buffy so much that she was willing to give her up, let Buffy hate her, in an effort to help her. There were very few people in this world who could lay claim to that.

"Hey."

"Hey we were worried about you Faith." Willow said.

"No need. I'm five by five." Both witches knew she was lying. They could both see that Faith had shut down a part of herself. Then Willow surprised the shit out of both herself and Faith by pulling her into a hug.

"Liar." Willow said only for the Dark Slayer's ears.

Faith pulled out of Willow's hug a little embarrassed. Did everyone know what was going on? Was she becoming an open book? She wasn't sure she liked it. She had spent too many years alone, too many years relying on only herself. Before she had a chance to think about it too much, she was once again being hugged, only this time it was by Tara.

Once again, Faith untangled herself. She looked over across the floor and saw that Buffy wasn't faring quite as well. She could just imagine what _'Queen C' _was saying. Faith wasn't sure she deserved such loyalty from these people, couldn't for the life of her figure out why they thought she was worth it. Tara followed Faith's gaze and then looked at the Dark Slayer, sensing her confusion. As if reading her thoughts Tara said;

"You are worth it; you just need to believe it yourself."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy didn't notice as Cordelia moved to intercept her. She was too intent on keeping up with Faith and not losing her in the crowded bar. At first when her path was blocked she didn't even realize it was Cordelia, she moved to go around her, only to be blocked again. Buffy looked at the person blocking her, and stared up into the face of _'Queen C'_, which was the equivalent of Willow's _'Resolve Face'_.

_OH Shit!_

Buffy tried to move around Cordelia once again, this time her arm was grabbed none too gently by Cordelia.

"Oh no you don't, I have a few things to say to you!" There was absolutely nothing friendly about Cordelia's tone.

"Not now Cordy, I have to catch Faith before..."

"Not until I say what I have to say." Buffy looked over Cordelia's shoulder and saw as Angel stopped Faith from running out the door.

"OK, just say whatever it is you think you need to say. It can't be any worse than what I've been saying, thinking about myself. No worse than what Willow said to me."

Cordelia looked at Buffy hearing the sincerity in her voice, the words taking away some of her anger. That wasn't going to stop her though. She needed to be absolutely sure for Faith's sake that Buffy was not here to make things worse. Cordelia had already come halfway to that conclusion as she had watched the Chosen Two together out on the dance floor. She just needed to hear Buffy say it. Like Angel, she felt sad for the two Slayers. It would be nice if for once things were simple, good, and easy for them; their lives were hard enough without all of this to further complicate things.

"How could you Buffy? How could you do what you did, say those things to Faith? Are you really that blind? Do you think Angel would have let Faith go there if he thought even just a little that she was going to hurt you?" There was hurt in Cordelia's voice, not hurt for herself but for Faith, for what Buffy had done to Faith.

Buffy was still reeling, a little surprised by the devotion, the care, the loyalty the L.A. group had for Faith. If she hadn't been wholly convinced before that Faith had changed, she certainly would be now. First, she had to listen to a lecture from Wesley at the hotel for an hour. Then it took Buffy another hour to convince him that she was sincere, that she didn't want to hurt Faith. That she wasn't here playing any game, before he would tell her where she could find Faith. It amazed her that this was the same Wesley, who Faith had tortured within a hairsbreadth of his life.

Gunn had been a little more direct. _'Hurt her, you answer to me.' _

Wesley volunteered to watch Dawn while Gunn took, Willow, Tara and herself to the club. Then outside the club, she had to answer to Angel, because Gunn refused to let her go in the club until she spoke with Angel.

When Angel had come out of the bar to talk with her, she had expected another long lecture. Much to her surprise, it hadn't taken nearly that long. Deep down she knew he would know instantly if she was lying about her intentions. Now she had _'Queen C' _to deal with. Buffy took a deep breath, trying to compose herself, calm her rioting emotions. Not wanting to take too long, not wanting to give Faith too much time to retreat back into her protective shell.

"I don't know Cordelia. I was lost, I was afraid. Afraid of what I felt for Faith. Still angry at her, unwilling, almost unable, to forgive her. Blaming her for things that were both our fault, things that were just my fault. I won't hurt her ever again. I want to be with her, need to be with her. She's a part of me, and if it takes the rest of my life, I will make it up to her. Please believe me." Then Buffy did push her way past Cordelia, not giving her a chance to answer her, and Cordelia stopped her again, just long enough to tell her.

"I'll give you the benefit of the doubt Buffy. But know this. If you ever hurt Faith again on purpose, I will kick your ass into the next state, Slayer or no Slayer!" And Buffy believed her and believed if anyone could do it, Cordelia Chase could. Cordelia let her arm go, and Buffy headed towards Faith and her future.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy noticed as she walked towards the group how they were hovering protectively around Faith. She really couldn't blame them, what she had done, had said to Faith was completely wrong. Instinctively Buffy had gone for Faith's jugular, without even knowing in any real way about her past. She had said what she knew would cut and hurt Faith the deepest. She had sent the Dark Slayer running back behind her protective wall and now she had to figure out how to get Faith to come back out.

Buffy stopped in front of the group. For once, she was the outsider. She couldn't help but notice as Faith moved closer to her, as if to protect her from them. They all stood there in awkward silence. Buffy's skin was tingling just from being this close to the Dark Slayer. More than anything else in the world, she wanted to be in those arms right now, but she knew they needed to talk. Needed to say all the things they should have said before, needed to start over with a clean slate. They needed to forgive each other. Buffy also knew that whatever direction their relationship went in, it would be up to Faith this time. Buffy turned and faced Faith, reaching out she took her hand into hers.

"Is there somewhere we can go and talk?"

Buffy saw the panic flash across Faith's face and she groaned in her head. She had done so much damage over the course of the last few weeks. Would she ever be able to mend it?

Faith pulled her hand out of Buffy's as if she had been burned.

Buffy sobbed internally as she saw the veil come down over Faith's eyes.

"Why? What's to talk about?"

"Us Faith, what happened between us. What happened in the past. I was wrong to stop you every time you tried to talk to me about it. Wrong in so many ways I can't even begin to count them. If we had talked like you wanted then what happened at the shop would have never happened. This time I'm asking you, please we need to talk about it all."

"Fine we can talk right here, I'll even go first. Hmm... Where should I start? How about I'm a scumbag, murdering whore, we all know that. What I did to you was wrong, and whether you believe it or not, I am sorry.

"Sorry for what I did to you, what I did to all of you. I can never make up for it, I know that. As for the rest of it, well you made yourself pretty clear in the Magic Shop. You don't need to worry about that anymore. I know my place, and I'll stay there. So now we talked. I didn't miss anything did I B?" There was a sort of deadness to Faith's tone. She started to turn around and stopped when she heard Buffy's words.

"You did miss a few things Faith." Buffy saw Faith's whole body tense, she knew Faith was expecting the worse. Well she was in for a surprise. Buffy moved so that she was once again facing the Dark Slayer.

"You forgot the part where I tell you how sorry I am. Sorry for not being there for you after Allan. For putting all the blame on your shoulders, not taking my own fair share. For not being a better friend, for not seeing you had changed. Not seeing all you had to offer. For the way I've been treating you. For the cruel things I said, and didn't mean. Said just to hurt you because I was afraid. Afraid of what I felt, what I feel for you. I was wrong, so wrong. I began thinking that being a Slayer meant you could no longer love, I was wrong, you showed me that." Buffy reached out once again to capture Faith's hand.

Faith backed away when Buffy reached out to touch her. She believed that Buffy was sorry for what had happened. It was the rest of what she was saying, things that she couldn't, wouldn't let herself believe. It was the Dark Slayers turn for denial. Not denial of what she felt for Buffy, but for what Buffy felt for her. What Faith thought she wasn't good enough to deserve.

Buffy let her hand drop down between them. It was bizarre having this conversation in the middle of a club with everyone standing around listening. Buffy didn't care though, all that mattered to her was Faith.

"I'm sorry for the pain, the hurt I caused you Faith. Please believe me. Tell me what I need to do to make things right between us. Can you ever forgive me? Can you find it in your heart to give me another chance? Whatever you want, whatever you want us to be, it's up to you. I'll do whatever you say."

"It's not you that needs to be forgiven B. I got what I deserved for all that I did to you, to everyone. I deserve worse. Nothing you said wasn't true. Not a big deal B, I've heard worse so don't sweat it. I know you can never forgive me. I must have gone a little crazy there for a while thinking that I would ever be good enough for you. I know better now, I know what I am. So ya see B there ain't nothin' to forgive you for."

"Faith that's not true, what I did was wrong. Don't ever say that you deserved what I did to you. No one deserves to be treated that way, have those things said to them, least of all you. You proved yourself time and time again over the last few weeks. Everyone saw it except for me. I wouldn't let myself, I was afraid to. Your actions, your words more than made up for what happened between us. God only knows what would have happened to me, my sister, the Scoobs if you didn't help me to see what was going on. How do I repay you? By hurting you. It's me that doesn't deserve you, not the other way around."

"No B you got it wrong. There is nothing you can say or do that will ever make me believe that. So just let it go. If it makes you feel better you're forgiven. Okay? Just let it go please."

Faith brushed past Buffy, she had to get out of there. She was on overload, she was afraid she would do something stupid like give in. Afraid of what she felt, afraid of what Buffy felt. Afraid to hope, afraid of getting hurt again, afraid to take a chance. Faith was afraid to let herself feel again.

Buffy moved to go after Faith, only to be stopped by Angel.

"Let her go. She needs time. Time to think. She needs to believe in herself before she can believe you. Believe in the two of you. Otherwise, she will always live with the fear of you leaving, of one mistake making you walk. She knows what you're telling her is true, she needs to accept it for herself. You need to be patient."

Standing there letting Faith walk away was one of the hardest things Buffy ever had to do. But she knew Angel was right. Buffy wanted things to be equal between them. She didn't want Faith to live in fear, didn't want either of them to have to live walking on eggshells. She wanted Faith to be comfortable enough to tell her what she was feeling, comfortable enough to disagree with her, tell her she was wrong. Buffy was even more determined now to make things right between them; she wanted them to have it all.

There wasn't a doubt in Buffy's mind of Faith's feelings. Not a doubt that she and Faith belonged together. Not a doubt about her own feelings for Faith. The time for running away was over for both of them; it was time they started running to something. Running towards each other and their future, together.

If Faith wouldn't believe Buffy's words then Buffy would just have to find a way to show her. She remembered her Mom once telling her that _'Actions sometimes speak louder than words.'_

It was time for action and no one could ever say that Buffy Summers wasn't an action kind of girl.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...I remember the first time ~ How could I ever forget ~ It was only the beginning ~ Of everything I'd ever get ~ Here's to ancient times and distant memories ~ To the most lavish feast my mind has ever seen ~ I tasted your wine, then I drank your soul ~ (I) saw through your kaleidoscope – Darling Violetta  
><strong>xxxxxxxxxx<strong>


	12. XI - Believe

XI – Believe

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As each of the Chosen Two drifted off to sleep that night, it was with thoughts of the other.

One dreamt of all she thought they could never have, while the other dreamt of all she thought they could have.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Atropos found the Slayer in the weaving room staring down at the Tapestry of Life. It had been some time since she had visited them and Atropos was glad that she had decided to come on her own. The Slayer did not realize it yet, but once the Fates had allowed her access to their domain or rather dimension, she had the ability to come here anytime she wished when she slept. Eventually as her Slayer powers grew, she could even learn to come here while she meditated during her waking hours. There were very few gods, immortals and mortals that the Fates had ever granted this kind of access to, and for the life of her Atropos couldn't figure out why they had given the Slayer this privilege.

"Welcome again Child." The Slayer turned at the sound of the old woman's voice. Atropos could see the sadness in the Slayer's eyes. She knew the last few weeks had been a roller coaster ride for both the Slayers or rather the Chosen Two as they liked to call themselves.

Such a difficult life the Chosen Two had. They had both more than earned some peaceful time in their lives. She secretly admired them for managing to find any happiness, joy, and the grandest prize of all, love, amidst the chaos, the evils they had both seen and lived through.

"Hey," the Slayer opened her mouth but closed it hesitating. She doubted the old woman would answer her question anyway.

"Was there something you wished to ask Child?" The Slayer just nodded her assent. "Well then ask, either I can answer or not. There is no harm in asking."

"This. All of this, is it all planned out? Our destinies I mean. Does it even matter what we do at all?" The Slayer pointed towards the Tapestry of Life as she spoke, her gaze returning once again to the intricate design.

The Slayer turned her attention back to the old woman. The smile Atropos gave her contained a little bit of pride for the Slayer. She had a funny feeling that whatever the old woman told her was what she was supposed to learn on this visit with the Fates.

"Well the answer for that isn't black and white or a simple yes or no." Atropos laughed at the_ 'I-should-of-known-better'_ look the Slayer threw her way. The laugh was surprisingly young sounding for the ancient woman. The Slayer could only smile in return, you would think by now she would know better than to expect a straight answer for anything that had to do with Slaying, Slayer dreams, or prophesies. One could still hope though, couldn't one?

"There are two types of Life Threads. There are the ones that are smooth, and the ones that are frayed. Each Life Thread is given abilities, possibilities, gifts, this applies whether they are of the light or the dark. For the smooth ones their path or place within the design of the Tapestry is predictable. In other words, they are not out of the ordinary, they are not the risk takers, so in a sense you could say that their destinies are preordained, and the effect they have on the Tapestry and those they meet along the course they take through it is 'fated'. But if for some reason they break away from the ordinary, the mundane; then well, that Life Thread will start to fray a little and the courses they can take, and their effect upon the Tapestry becomes infinite." Atropos paused and looked at the Slayer trying to gauge if she understood what she was trying to explain to her. The Slayer just nodded at the old woman for her to continue.

"Now the frayed Life Threads they are a completely different story. They are the wild children of the Tapestry. They are unpredictable; they are the risk takers, the ones who make the hard choices. The ones, who take chances, change the course of history. They can cause unimaginable chaos. They do not know the meaning of cannot. They are capable of great evil and great good. With every choice they make, the course of their destiny changes, and the destiny of those whose Life Thread's they touch. For them, there can be an educated guess at their destinies, but in no real sense is it predetermined. The number of possible courses these Life Threads can take through the Tapestry boggles even my mind."

Atropos paused again and patted the space on the couch next to her. The Slayer saw they were now in the sitting room, she hated when that happened in these dreams. It was disorienting. She walked over and sat next to the old woman taking comfort in her presence, her nearness.

"That is not to say that we don't try to influence the choices. You know that from your own experiences, that gods, demons, the Council, all try to influence those choices. As you have probably already figured out both you and your sister Slayer have frayed, unruly, down right tattered Life Threads as do most of the people that you both surround yourselves with. But you see in the end the choices you make ultimately are yours and yours alone, no one can make them for you. Even the choice of fulfilling your calling as the Slayer was yours alone. So your destiny is what you make of it in the long run. This is regardless of whether or not your Life Thread is frayed or smooth. In the end what this all comes down to is; for each Life Thread no matter whether it is god, immortal, demon or human, the only thing that is destined is that all have a beginning and all can have an end."

"So what you are saying is; our destinies are our own. Just like whether we choose to travel down the path of dark or light. Even things that happen to us that are out of our control, what we choose to do after that is up to us. How we react to or use that knowledge is our choice. To steal a phrase, _'Life is what we make of it.' _The difference between some of us is, that the consequences of some of our choices are further reaching than just our own lives, or those lives who we actually touch. In some cases those choices can affect the balance of the world."

"Yes Child, that is correct."

"This was what I was supposed to learn on this visit wasn't it?"

"Again you are correct. Now it is time for you to go, until next time Child."

Atropos rose from the couch and surprising both herself and the Slayer, she leaned over and placed a gentle kiss upon the Slayer's cheek. Treating her much like a grandmother treats a treasured grandchild. Atropos straightened, nodded, smiled at the Slayer and faded away into the darkness.

The Slayer was once again in bed dreaming.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy woke up a little over an hour before dawn. She rolled over and groaned not wanting to get out of bed yet. Try as hard as she could, she could not fall back to sleep. She lay in bed for a time listening to the even breathing of her sister as she slept.

Angel had been kind enough to let the four of them stay at the hotel. Buffy didn't think that Faith had been too happy about it though. Faith had barely mumbled a good night to them all before retreating to the solitude of her own room. Although Dawn had told Buffy that Faith had treated her as she always had. Faith had actually been chatting with Dawn when they all had come back from the club about an hour after Faith had left. Angel had decided they should wait a while and give the Dark Slayer a little space before returning.

Giving up on trying to sleep, Buffy quietly let herself out of the room, just because she couldn't sleep didn't mean she needed to wake her sister. She wandered through the hotel for about a half an hour before finding the door that led up to the roof. She remembered Angel telling her that he had put a garden up there and that you could practically see all of L.A. She opened the door and started climbing the stairs. She had only climbed up two steps when her Slayer senses called out to her.

As she climbed the last step onto the roof's landing she stopped in the doorway already knowing what, rather who, she would see. She paused in the doorway, her breath catching in her chest as it had those few short weeks ago the first time she beheld the beauty that was Faith in the pale light of the pre-dawn. This time however, there was no welcoming smile as Faith turned towards her, no hand held out to her in a silent request. Faith's expression held neither an invitation nor a rejection. She stood in the doorway unsure of what to do. Angel took the decision out of her hands when he came from around from the other side of the roof and silently beckoned her to join them.

Buffy watched as both the Dark Slayer and the vampire moved over to the edge of the roof and turned their faces up towards the sky, waiting for the rising sun to bring the new day. As she watched them, she realized that this was a special time of day for them. Not sure why, or how, she knew that this was the time of the day that brought hope to them. She came to the understanding that unknowingly for her the dawning of a new day had always meant the same thing for her as well. Quietly she joined them at the edge of the roof and turned her face skyward, grateful that all three of them had lived to see another day.

Angel left silently as the sun started to peek over the horizon, leaving Faith and Buffy alone as the sun finished its assent into the morning sky. Buffy stayed with her face turned upward basking in the warmth of the morning sun. She heard as Faith quietly turned and started walking away towards the door.

"Thank you," Buffy whispered to Faith stopping her before she left the rooftop.

"For what?" Faith whispered back just as softly.

"For letting me share this with you. Share this special time of the day with you again."

Faith let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding while she waited for Buffy's answer. Then it caught again in her throat as the memory of that morning, of holding Buffy in her arms out in the garden rose up strong in her mind. As she remembered being thankful that one of her secret wishes had been granted. Remembered not having any doubts that what had happened between them was right.

"You're welcome." Faith's voice was thick with emotion, and Buffy knew Faith was remembering that morning as well. Remembering like Buffy did, that for a brief time there was just them, the sun rising and everything was right with the world, right with them.

Then Faith was rushing down the stairs away from Buffy, away from the memory, away from what she thought she could never have again.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Everybody wants to believe in something ~ Something that fill them up inside ~ Everybody wants the answers to questions ~ To all the questions that fill them up inside ~ I just want to believe...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Dawn woke around nine o'clock and saw that her sister was already up and gone from their room. When she entered the hallway, she followed the smell of brewed coffee and made her way to the kitchen. She was surprised to see only Faith sitting at the table. Faith looked up and smiled at her, Dawn thought she looked sad.

"Morning kiddo."

"Morning," Dawn went over and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Coffee kiddo? It's gonna stunt your growth, ya know."

They both let out a little giggle. It was sort of a private joke between them. The first time Faith had said it to Dawn was at one of the mandatory breakfasts Buffy had made her attend after she had arrived in Sunnydale.

Buffy had been standing with her back to Dawn and when Faith made her comment, Dawn had pointed at her sister then held her hand over her own head then over Buffy's and shook her head no. Dawn was already the same height as her older sister and still growing. It was unlikely that she would be the smaller of the two Summers' sisters. Buffy saw the smirk that Faith directed at her, turned and saw an answering smirk on her sister's face. The subtle joke about her height hadn't sat with her too well at the time, nor did the fact that her sister was sharing it with Faith at her expense.

The giggle died as Faith remembered the tirade Buffy went off on that morning about how she guessed manners were something Faith obviously hadn't learned in jail. _'But,'_ Buffy had said, _'what could she expect from someone the likes of her?'_ Faith couldn't count the number of times Buffy had used the expression, _'Someone the likes of you,'_ letting the rest of what she meant hang in the air.

Dawn watched as Faith's smile faded and the giggle died, and her expression once again became sad. She liked the Dark Slayer, always had. Faith didn't treat her like a kid and she was fun to be around.

Dawn knew about everything that had happened when Faith had gone to work for the Mayor. Her Mom had explained all of it to her. Her Mom had told Dawn that she thought Faith was hurting, angry, and lost. That Faith was scared and thought she was all alone, that no one cared about her. Cared whether she lived or died. Her Mom thought that Faith had probably been alone for most of her life and probably had a very bad childhood. She believe that Faith didn't know how to ask for or receive help from others, and that her actions were a silent cry for help.

That didn't mean though that her Mom hadn't been pissed over what had happened and probably would have been just as leery as Buffy that Faith had changed when she came back. Even so, Faith had never once tried to hurt Dawn, and in the end, the only one she had really hurt was herself. She had not meant to kill Allan, even Buffy admitted that from the beginning. As Faith had said herself in the Magic Shop that first day, if she had really wanted to kill any of them they would be dead right now.

While Dawn realized that the memories she had of Faith and that Faith had of her weren't real in the literal sense of the word, one thing struck her. All of the memories she had of everyone and they had of her were consistent with who they were as a person and how they would interact and be with her. The monks had known that no matter what, no matter how far over to the dark side Faith went, would have gone, she never would hurt a child, and Dawn had been a child when Faith had been around the first time.

When her Mom had explained all of this to her Dawn didn't really understand. She had a loving family, friends, didn't know in any real way what it felt like to be alone in the world. What it could do to you, what it could make you do. Over the last few months, beginning when her Mom had gotten sick, then finding out about being _'The Key,'_ and then after her Mom had died, she had begun to get a very good idea. She had felt like there was no one to turn to, Buffy had already begun to start pushing people away before her Mom had gotten sick and after that she had furthered the distance between them. She could understand a little bit of how Faith felt, and even as young as she was, she knew the way that Buffy had treated Faith was out and out wrong.

"Faith?"

Faith looked up at Dawn, saw the hesitant expression on her face and smiled encouragingly at her. She knew what it felt like to have no one listen to what you have to say just because they think you're a kid. She had made a vow to herself a long time ago that she would never treat a child that way. While their fears, concerns, and worries may seem trivial to an adult, they weren't to the child who was having them. To that child, they are major, sometimes even life changing.

"What's up kiddo?"

Still Dawn hesitated.

"You know Gamin, you can tell, or ask me anything." Faith smiled encouragingly again at Dawn, who gave a shy smile back. Dawn liked when Faith called her Gamin, it made her feel like part of the gang, especially since Faith had a nickname for everyone else. Her favorite so far had to be General B though. Even though she liked the nickname, she hoped it was a side of her sister she never saw again.

Faith didn't have the heart to tell Dawn that her nickname meant brat in French, nor did Faith have a clue as to where she had learned the word. As Faith looked at that innocent face, she couldn't help wonder what it was like to be that innocent. Lord knows she never had been; had never been allowed to be.

"Buffy told me, well us, me, Willow and Tara that is, everything that happened with you guys."

"Everything?" Faith asked a little confused, embarrassed, fearful and amazed all at once.

"Pretty much. I'm not a kid you know. I mean like, I know Willow and Tara aren't just friends.

_Oh shit! Calm down girl. Deep breaths you knew they knew. B practically said it at the shop. Okay not exactly said it, kinda sorta said it, but not exactly._

"What exactly did B, uh, Buffy say?" Faith choked out.

"That you and her were like Willow and Tara, only that... That it was her idea not yours and that she had been treating you like shit." Dawn smiled at the shocked expression on the Dark Slayer's face.

"Dawn! No cursing, you know Buffy will get pissed if she hears you."

_Me telling Dawn not to curse...funny kinda like the pot calling the kettle black._

"I'm just sayin' what Buffy said."

"That doesn't make it right."

"Look who's talking. You curse more than anybody I ever known. If everyone didn't yell at you all the time every other word out of your mouth would be the _'F'_ word." Dawn was quick to point out.

Faith had to smile, although she did try her best not to. She was trying to pull what mothers for centuries had tried, the old _'Do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do'_ routine. It didn't work for them and it was even more unlikely to work for her.

"Okay, Okay, you're right. Still doesn't make it okay for you kiddo." Faith mumbled. Despite herself Faith just couldn't throw up the protective shell around the kid, the minute Dawn had walked into the kitchen it had come down all on its own. Dawn wouldn't understand Faith being cold or standoffish to her, and Faith wouldn't hurt the kid for anything in the world.

Faith knew Dawn wouldn't lie to her, and Buffy wouldn't lie to Dawn, she would just leave out what she didn't want the kid to know. Curiosity got the best of her and Faith was unable to resist asking.

"What else did Buffy say?"

"She had been afraid of what she was feeling for you, that she had been pushing everyone away, you the most. I mean, I know she was, 'cause she had been doing it to me too. Still was a little bit, but not anymore and that's 'cause of you. I know that. She said being the Slayer was making her forget how to care anymore. That you had been trying to help her see that since you got back. That you didn't want her to become like you use to be.

"That you tried to talk about all that happened before the first time but she wouldn't let you. That she was still angry at you and she was afraid not to be because of everything else. She said she had shut down and forgot how not to be that way anymore. That it had gotten worse after Mom died. It was harder. She was afraid to feel anymore." Dawn paused wondering if she was making any sense, she continued anyway, sense or no sense.

"She said she had gotten lost and you were trying to help her find her way again. She said that you risked everything to help her. And she hurt you anyway even when she knew what you said was true. Buffy said something about a phone call, it had made her jealous. That she was sorry and wrong and didn't deserve you. That if it wasn't for you she might never have found her way again and that..."

"...We should all be thanking you." Willow said as she walked into the kitchen. "And we do, thank you that is. There is a lot of thanking going on from here."

Willow placed her hand lightly on Faith shoulder as she said it. She felt Faith tensed immediately under her light touch and then slowly begin to relax. Faith was feeling a little overwhelmed by everything Dawn had told her. Buffy had said much of the same last night, but hearing that she had told the others the same thing before she had come here, just somehow made it more real. Made her believe a little, made it harder to want to retreat into the safe numb place she had lived in for so long.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Can you hear me? ~ Can you see me? ~ What's inside of me? ~ I just want to believe...  
><strong>xxxxxxxxxx<strong>

Tara straggled into the kitchen a few minutes after Willow. "Morning," she mumbled to everyone in general. She placed a grateful kiss on Willow's cheek when she handed her a steaming cup of coffee. Faith was still sitting at the table a little dumbfounded.

"Where's Buffy?" When no one answered her, Tara looked at Dawn. "Is she still sleeping?"

"No, she was gone when I got up. I don't know where she is." Hearing the worry in Dawn's voice pulled Faith out of her semi-stupor.

"She was on the roof with me this morning, we watched the sunrise together." Faith felt herself blushing at the look both Tara and Willow gave her.

_Shit B! Whatcha do, tell them everything?_

Faith felt herself turning an even brighter shade of red when the image of Buffy naked on her lap came unbidden into her mind. A very familiar heat began to streak through her.

_Get a grip, for Christ's sake. The kid's here._

As if the mention of her name had conjured her, Buffy walked into the kitchen. She was still half-asleep, her eyes half open, her face a little sunburned from having fallen asleep out on the roof after Faith left. Her hair was in disarray and a sleepy sort of sensual warmth was coming from her.

The only thought that came to Faith's mind when she saw her was that Buffy looked absolutely delicious. Much to her chagrin Faith's face turned an even brighter shade of red.

Buffy hesitated but a second when she saw the smiles that the two witches were directing at both her and Faith. She noticed that Faith was blushing and the look in her eyes made Buffy blush in turn. She didn't have to be a genius to know what Faith was thinking.

"Mmmmm, is that coffee I smell?" Consciously she used the same words from the last time they had shared a sunrise together. She lightly brushed her fingertips across Faith's arm, murmuring _'Morning,'_ as she walked past her towards the counter for a cup of coffee. A part of her hoping that Faith would offer hers; a part of Faith desperately wanting to make that offer. She felt little goose bumps rise under the pads of her fingers on the Dark Slayer's arm a second after she touched her.

She sat down at the table with her coffee across from Faith. She looked directly into Faith's eyes, and captured them before Faith had a chance to hide behind her safe wall. Both Slayers were caught in a weird sort of déjà vu.

Willow and Tara continued to watch them with silly grins on their faces. They all had forgotten about Dawn.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"So what are we going to do today?" Everyone jumped at the sound of Dawn's voice, which made her giggle.

All four adults had the same guilty look a child got when they were caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"What do you want to do Gamin?" Faith's voice came out far too husky for her liking. Buffy didn't seemed to mind though as she smiled slowly at Faith.

_Why she gotta look at me like that? Chill girlie, you know she likes fucking you. Don't mean nothin'._

Buffy's smile faded as she saw the veil start to fall over Faith's eyes.

"I don't know something fun. Is Disney World far from here? Or maybe... I don't know... fun. You know fun. Something we can all do... No demons or other thingies... just..." Dawn trailed off when Faith turned and looked at her. There was a sort of blankness, a coldness in her gaze.

"Faith?" Dawn asked hesitantly afraid she had said or done something wrong.

Faith blinked rapidly when she saw the effect her retreat was having on Dawn.

_Shit, shit, shit!_

She shook her head to clear it of the numbness she had let settle in so quickly.

"Sorry kiddo went on a little Star Trek in my head. But I'm back now, just glad it wasn't a five year voyage!" Faith gave Dawn her infamous, _'Five-by-Five,'_ grin. Dawn was quick to smile back.

"Why don't you go run and ask Gunn what's to do, I'm sure he knows of something fun."

"'K." Dawn jumped up to go do what Faith suggested. When she got to the doorway, she turned around.

"Faith, have Buffy tell you about what happened with Spike after she got back from her Quest with Giles. It was kind of funny and yucky at the same time." She flashed a smirk at her sister. They didn't know she knew about that. She heard Willow and Tara laugh as she ran from the room.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Quest? Spike?" Faith asked as she got up and put on a fresh pot of coffee.

Willow and Tara joined Faith as she sat back down at the kitchen table.

"After you left the Magic Shop..." Buffy paused, the pain she had caused Faith rose up fresh in her mind. Hearing again Faith's anguished cry from outside of the shop. She closed her eyes and took a deep shaky breath and started again.

"After what I did, said to you at the shop and you left, well, my only concern was to find you. As I looked for you I kept wondering what I had become, how could I have done what I did? When I couldn't find you, I went and got Dawn and we went back to the mansion to wait. I hoped that you would come there. While I was waiting, I began to think about it all. I realized that this had started long before now, that it had really begun the night that Allan died. We had both started down the same path that night; the only difference was you traveled it faster than me.

"I knew you were hurting but couldn't deal with it, because dealing with it meant that I would have to share in the blame too. It was easier to put all the blame on you. I went through the motions of trying to help you. I was in denial, I knew that it could have been me that had staked Allan by accident just as easily that night. I was afraid to look beneath the surface that was you, because then I would have to look beneath my own. The fear went deeper than that because I knew even back then that what I felt for you was more than simple friendship, more than just the whole Slayer connection. It was just too much for me. I left you alone for the vultures. I can never tell you how sorry I am. I think a part of both of us died with Allan that night."

Buffy paused again taking a sip of her coffee, her throat dry.

"Aah... We're gonna go now so you two can talk. We'll keep Dawn occupied for you."

Willow stood and Tara quickly followed. Both realized that this conversation was turning into more than about the Quest or Spike. The Slayers should have privacy. Unlike last night, this morning Faith seemed a little more receptive. Instinctively both witches knew that neither Slayer had come close to saying all they needed to say to each other.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...If my life can have a purpose ~ Help me to believe ~ I just want to believe ~ Can you hear me? ~ Can you see me? ~ What's inside of me? ~ I just want to believe...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy watched as a riot of emotions crossed Faith's face after the two witches left. She waited patiently to see if Faith was going to retreat. There was so much still left unsaid between them. So much that Buffy didn't get to say or at least not say the way she wanted to last night.

Buffy held her breath waiting to see if Faith was going to give her the chance that she had never given Faith.

Faith was in a panic, she wanted to run, to hide, to retreat back into that safe numb place she lived in for years upon years. She didn't want to feel, it hurt, there was pain in feeling, and Buffy made her feel. It came to her though that Buffy wasn't the only one who made her feel, Angel made her feel too. Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn... all cared about her, and she cared about them in return. Willow, Tara, Giles, Dawn, even Xander and Anya made her feel.

A dawning realization came to her that she had started to let herself feel long before now. Slowly but surely over time she had let herself begin to feel again beginning with the day the girl whose life she had saved at the church had said thank you.. In a blinding moment of clarity, Faith realized that she didn't want to go back to that safe numb place anymore. If she stayed there, she would never be good enough for anyone. That most of her fear of not being good enough came from a place far deeper than what had happened the first time she was in Sunnydale.

She liked it in the warmth of the light; she was weary of always being cold and alone in the dark. While she may have needed that safe haven when she was a child she no longer needed it, no longer wanted it. She knew if she let herself go back into that safe place and stayed there, she would never find the redemption she wanted with all of her soul.

The question now was: Was she going to stop Buffy from talking about their past? Finally get it all out in the open so they could forgive each other, give themselves the chance to start over. Or was she going to stop her because of the same fear that made Buffy stop her for the last few weeks?

Faith had decided to stop running months ago and she didn't want to start again now.

She looked at Buffy and gave her a cautious smile, which grew a little bigger when she heard the whoosh of air Buffy let go of as she released the breath she had been obviously holding.

"B. You weren't the only one who was afraid back then you know..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They talked for hours about the past. Old hurts were brought out, rehashed and forgiven. Faith got up to pour them more coffee. As she walked back to the table with the cups, she felt Buffy's eyes upon her. When she looked, she saw that Buffy's gaze was drawn to her stomach, to where the scar from the knife wound was hidden beneath her shirt. She remembered that all the times they had lain together, Buffy's gaze, her hands, had always avoided the scar. Even in their discussion just now, they had sort of skirted around that whole issue and moved beyond it. It was the last thing from the past they had left to discuss.

Faith put the coffee cups down on the table, and went and stood in front of Buffy. Buffy tentatively reached out to touch Faith where she knew the scar lay, not sure if the Dark Slayer would let her or would move away.

Faith saw how Buffy's hand shook as she reached towards her. She understood, she knew intimately what it felt like to hurt someone, almost kill them, only Faith actually knew what it was like to take a life too.

"It's okay B." Faith lifted her shirt up and taking Buffy's trembling hand placed it upon the scar. "I don't mind it, it helped, still helps to remind me of all that I never want to be again."

Buffy ran shaky fingers along the length of the jagged scar. The guilt she felt over stabbing Faith, almost killing her, still as fresh and as strong as the day it had happened. How could Faith ever forgive her for this? How could she ever forgive herself? Had she really been trying to kill Faith that night on the roof or had she been trying to kill off the part of herself that was just like Faith?

"I'm so sorry. I... I still can't believe... I never wanted to hurt you. I can never make this up to you. I don't know how you can even stand to be around me. I almost killed you... I took away eight months of your life... and even after that, you helped me to defeat the Mayor... How can you ever forgive me?" The guilt, the self-loathing was thick in Buffy voice. Her hand still trembled against the Dark Slayer's stomach.

"But you didn't, you could of, but you didn't. You could have stabbed me somewhere else, somewhere that would have killed me, but you didn't. There was a part of me that wanted you to kill me. A part of me that wanted you to stop me, 'cause I couldn't stop myself. I pushed you into a corner; I tried to kill the love of your life. I won't lie and tell you I wasn't pissed, that I couldn't believe that you actually stabbed me. 'Cause I was. I was out of control, if it had been me that night with the knife... I don't know if you would be here now..."

"I don't believe that Faith. I don't believe that even back then you could have killed me. If you wanted me dead, any of us dead, you would have never told me how to defeat the Mayor. You didn't have to come to me in a Slayer dream. The part of you, the person that you are now was aware even in a coma. You made sure none of us would die, that the Mayor wouldn't win. So don't ever believe that, because I never will."

Faith was a little amazed that even after everything that had happened between them, everything she had done, that Buffy believed she would never really hurt her, not even back then. She put her hand over Buffy's still trembling one, stroking it softly.

"How can you ever forgive me? I can't forgive myself." Buffy whispered so softly that even Faith had a hard time hearing her with her Slayer hearing. She didn't think that Buffy even knew she had spoken the words out loud.

"I forgave you for this a long time ago B. It's time for you to forgive yourself."

"I don't know if I can Faith."

"I... I need you to. Please B? I need you to for me, for us, or we'll never be free of it. I want so badly for us to be free of it. Be free of the past."

"I'll try Faith."

"Promise."

"I promise."

The Chosen Two looked at each other for a minute. Faith's gaze was still cautious, but still open to Buffy. Both were reluctant to move onto the more recent past that had led them to be here in L.A. instead of Sunnydale. Those wounds, those hurts, that pain, was still fresh and this time Buffy knew all the blame lay with her. She took a few shaky breaths trying to compose herself and reluctantly pulled her hand away from the Dark Slayer's stomach.

"I never thanked you for keeping me safe that first night in Angel's apartment. I never thanked you for making me wake up to what I was doing to my family, my friends, to you. I know now that if I kept heading down that road that none of us would survive... I want to thank you now... Thank you because you did it even after all I had done to you, after the way I had treated you..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"**WHAT?**"

"...the **FUCK**..."

"...Goddamn **BITCH**..."

"...**KILL**..."

"...OVER **MY** DEAD BODY..."

"...FUCKING **KILL**..."

"**FAITH! STOP!**"

Willow, Tara, Dawn, Gunn, Cordelia, Wesley, and Angel came rushing in the kitchen after Buffy yelled for Faith to stop. Things had been pretty quiet up until five minutes ago. They all looked a little ashamed when they saw Buffy calmly sitting at the table and Faith who had been pacing stop to look at them like they all had three heads.

Buffy and Faith looked at each other and busted out laughing. They all looked silly standing there all bunched up together. Angel had stopped short when he realized that they were mistaken in their assumption of what was suddenly happening between the Slayers. When he stopped short, Wesley slammed into his back, which in turn caused Cordelia to slam into his, then Gunn into hers, Dawn into Gunn, Tara into Dawn, and finally Willow into Tara. They looked like something out of a _'Three Stooges'_ movie only doubled.

"Can't breathe here," Cordelia gasped out and started laughing herself. They all started laughing even Angel. There was a chorus of _'Sorry'_ following the laughter.

Dawn looked between the two Slayers. It was good to see them laugh. It had seemed like forever since she had seen her sister laugh, and she couldn't recall the last time she had seen Faith laugh.

"Why were you yelling?" Leave it to the young to jump right in and ask what none of the grownups would.

"I ah, just got finished telling Faith about my _'Slayer Quest.'_ About what Glory did to Spike and his little robot. That Spike was willing to give his own life to protect the key. I filled her in on all that we know about Glory. And I told her everything we know about the key. I also told her about Glory's threat to go after my family and friends one by one until I gave her the key. Faith got a little upset." Upset was an understatement.

Buffy told Faith about what happened after she had gotten back from her Quest. How Spike had a sex robot built for him that looked exactly like Buffy. That was the beginning of Faith's pacing back and forth. She continued the story, telling how Glory tortured Spike to within an inch of his undead life before Buffy and the Scoobs had come to the rescue, with the _'sexbot's' _help as well.

Then how later she pretended to be the _'sexbot'_ to find out if Spike had told Glory that Dawn was the key. Without thinking, Buffy told Faith how she had kissed Spike in thanks for what he was willing to do in order to protect Dawn. He had been willing to die.

That's when the yelling started. Buffy sat back in the chair watching Faith as she paced, ranted, and threw her hands in the air. As she switched back and forth between anger and jealously over a simple thank-you kiss. Buffy thought Faith looked so cute, adorable in fact, she had to fight the urge to get up and just kiss her. Faith continued ranting, first about how she was going to beat the shit out Spike when she got back to Sunnydale, then Glory. _'Hell,'_ Faith had finally said, _'I'll kill two birds with one stone, and just beat the shit out of them together.' _

Buffy heart had leapt with joy when Faith had yelled she was going back to Sunnydale. Up until that point, Buffy didn't know if Faith would return. There were still three things the Slayers had yet to talk about, whether Faith would come back home with Buffy. Their feelings for each other; which Buffy already felt sure they both knew how the other felt. The third was if Faith did return to Sunnydale where did they go from there. She knew where she wanted to go, and knew that fear was stopping Faith from wanting the same thing.

Buffy and Faith stopped laughing when they saw the fear that was written clearly across Dawn's face. The mention of Glory's name caused terror to streak instantly through the youngest Summers' girl every time.

"Don't worry Gamin, that fucking bitch won't get within a foot of you with me an B around."

"Faith!" Both Dawn and Buffy yelled in unison.

"What?"

"You said the _'F' _word!" Dawn giggled forgetting her fear, acting more like a ten-year-old instead of a fourteen-year-old.

Apparently, it was contagious because everyone started laughing again. Lord knew they could all use a little more laughter in all their lives.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As Faith stepped onto the roof the next morning, she found both the vampire with a soul and the golden-haired Slayer waiting for her.

She stood between them and watched the sun rise. Really hearing for the first time the promise of hope the new day brought.

Silently thanking whoever it was in charge for sending her Angel, the first person to ever make her feel safe and loved and she thanked them for giving her a second chance with Buffy the only person whose arms had ever felt like home.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Everybody wants to find the circle ~ The line of truth that has no end ~ Because so many nights I've slept with the feeling of empty ~ And I say, right now I'm ready to believe - Sprung Monkey

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	13. XII - Awesome

XII – Awesome

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The ride home from L.A. on Sunday was actually fun. Well, after Dawn and Faith finished arguing over who was going to ride shotgun. Faith pouted for about a half an hour after losing the fight though. She just couldn't say no to that damn kid. Buffy had a good laugh at the look on Faith's face when Tara innocently asked her if she wanted to sit in the middle between her and Willow. Faith stuttered out, _'No, no way, not...'_ before she realized Tara was teasing her.

Buffy had spent the first half hour of the drive, sneaking glances at the Dark Slayer in the rearview mirror. Thinking how much she would love to catch that pouting lower lip between her teeth. How much she would love to slowly kiss away the pout until that delectable mouth moaned into hers. Her palms actually started sweating and Buffy could felt herself get wet. She wiped her sweaty palms against her jeans and looked into the rearview mirror and saw Faith staring back at her with a knowing smile on her face. Faith quirked an eyebrow at Buffy, and a very low _'tsk, tsk'_ came from the back seat.

Buffy silently berated herself, Christ, her sister was in the car! Vowing to herself that if not tonight than first thing tomorrow morning she and Faith would be having a talk about them, about what they were going to do. Their being just friends was not an option as far as Buffy was concerned. Well, that was an assumption but she was pretty damn sure that it wasn't an option for Faith either. Though Buffy figured she just might have to remind the Dark Slayer of that. Faith still had that _'I'm-not-good-enough-for-you'_ thing going on.

Buffy was afraid Faith might want to go back to just being _'fuck-buddies.'_ That would be safe for the Dark Slayer, she knew that, it was all Faith had ever known. You didn't have to be good enough or deserve someone to be that.

But Buffy wanted it all; the lust, the passion, the romance. Candle-lit dinners, holding hands, making love, the comfort of arms around her at night, the comfortable silences. Oh, the list just went on and on... And further she wanted to give all that to Faith, who she was sure, had never had any of it. Ever.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy felt it the second Faith got tense. They had just passed the _'Welcome to Sunnydale' _sign. She caught her eyes in the rearview mirror, and whispered under her breath knowing that Faith would be able to hear her.

"It's okay. Everything will be okay, I promise." In the mirror she saw Faith give her a weak smile, then turn and give Tara a smile too. Glancing quickly over the back seat Buffy saw that Tara, who must have sensed the tension in Faith, had reached over and was holding her hand.

Buffy dropped off the two witches first, thanking them again for coming with her on the road trip, helping with Dawn, helping her period.

Buffy headed towards the mansion to drop Faith off all the while mentally grumbling to herself that she would much rather bring Faith home with her.

"Thanks for the ride B. See you tomorrow kiddo." Faith tousled Dawn's hair. She stiffened when what Buffy said to her registered as she was climbing out of the car.

"Faith. Breakfast at my house at eight, then over to the Magic Shop."

"Whatever B, you're the boss." Faith had to keep herself from hissing out the words. She moved quickly away from the car.

_Stupid shit, shoulda known better. Fuck me. Ten minutes back in SunnyD' and General B is back._

_'Shit! Stupid, how stupid am I? Shit!'_ Buffy thought as she jumped out of the car and chased after Faith.

"Faith! Wait!"

Faith stopped in her tracks, her whole body as tight as a bowstring ready to snap at the lightest touch. She didn't turn around as Buffy ran up to her.

_Christ, need to be more careful what.. how I say stuff. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

"Faith. Christ I'm so stupid. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Stupid here. I talk without thinking. No thinking going on in here. I didn't mean it as a command. I meant to ask. Stupid. Sorry. I just want. Would like to have breakfast with you is all. Would you I... You don't. I mean..." Buffy paused, she was babbling, even she didn't understand what she was saying.

"What I am trying to say," she started again, "is would you like to have breakfast with Dawn and me tomorrow morning? Then if you want we can go to the Magic Shop. Do Tai-Chi, which I really like doing with you. It's has been the best part of my day over the last few weeks. Okay well not the best, best. There were other things that were higher, but definitely in the top five. Top five most assuredly..."

"Okay, okay..." Faith cut off Buffy's babble and couldn't help the silly grin that grew on her face. Buffy looked all cute flustered. "You're starting to sound like Red, B. Breakfast with you and the kid at eight would be great. And B... I like doing Tai-Chi with you too..."

"Good. That's good. Really, really, really, good." Now it was official she was a babbling idiot. Buffy returned Faith's silly grin. And they just stood there looking like two lunatics with silly grins on their faces.

"K. Gotta go don't want to leave Dawn alone too long, ya know. See you in the morning." Then Buffy did something that surprised the Dark Slayer.

She pulled Faith into a tight hug, and planted a very soft, very quick kiss on her mouth. Then she was off and running back to the car before Faith even had a chance to react.

Faith stood stock still for a few minutes after Buffy left. Her legs were just a little bit wobbly from that two-second hug and kiss, and she had a big shit-eating grin on her face.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith arrived at the house early, and began pacing impatiently back and forth in front of the house for five very long minutes.

_Not too eager are we... Showing up this early... Maybe I should go for a walk..._

"Come on in. The neighbors are going to call the cops if you stay out here pacing any longer."

"I was just... um..." Faith just let it go anything she said was going to sound lame anyway.

Faith followed Buffy into the kitchen. The table was already set, the eggs and bacon out on the counter, ready to be cooked.

"Do you need help with anything?" Faith felt a little awkward, small talk was not her strong point.

She wasn't sure how to act, the meals she had shared with Buffy over the last few weeks, were more of a twisted version of _Get Some, Get Gone,_ only with food. They very rarely had spoken to each other.

Buffy waved at her to sit down, and a few seconds later placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. Faith took a grateful sip of the coffee, surprised that it was fixed just the way she liked it, then remembered her manners.

"Ah... Thanks B."

"Is it okay?"

"What?"

"The coffee."

"Yeah fine."

"Good." Buffy walked over to the doorway of the kitchen, and proceeded to yell for Dawn on the top of her lungs, "**DAWN! GET MOVING!**"

"And you were worried about the neighbors calling the cops on me? Ever hear of noise pollution B?"

Dawn came running into the kitchen before Buffy had a chance to answer.

"Morning!"

"Morning kiddo." Dawn walked over and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"Dawn."

"Buffy."

"Coffee?" Dawn just stared at her sister and took a sip, then smiled at her.

"You know Dawn," Buffy began, "drinking coffee can stunt your growth."

Unable to help herself Faith let out a snort of laughter and spewed the coffee she was just about to swallow all over the kitchen table and Buffy.

Dawn started laughing, not really believing her sister had made a short joke and Faith had just covered Buffy in a mouthful of coffee.

"Swift, Faith!" Dawn choked out between giggles.

_Shit! Oh Shit! B's gonna kill me._

"Sorry," Faith mumbled into the table. Her body tensed as she waited for Buffy to deliver whatever cutting remark she could think of. Faith stared at the mess she had made on the table, her neck and face flushed with embarrassment.

_Didn't take you too long to fuck up again, did it ass? Shoulda known better. Why would B want anything from someone who can't even drink a fucking cup of coffee?_

Buffy read Faith's body language perfectly. _'Patience,'_ she thought to herself. She couldn't expect that Faith would realize overnight that she would no longer attack her over mistakes, or for no reason at all. _That 'Buffy'_ was dead. If she had been treated these last few weeks the way she had treated Faith, she would of had the same reaction. Consciously she made sure her voice was light when she spoke.

"Don't worry about it. Didn't like this shirt with these pants anyway. Truth be told don't like this shirt at all." Buffy smiled at the now open-mouthed, staring, raven-haired Slayer.

Carefully Faith returned Buffy's smile, wanting to pinch herself to make sure she truly was awake. So much had happened over the last two days her head was swimming from it all.

"Dawn why don't you start breakfast while I go change." Buffy started to leave stopping in front of Faith she reached out and wiped away the little bit of coffee that had dribbled on Faith's chin with her thumb. Gently she closed Faith's mouth, winked at her and said;

"Wouldn't want you to catch any fly's there **_F_**."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was sitting on a tombstone, swinging her feet like a little kid, watching Buffy tangle with two vampires. She had moved to go help her when she finished dusting her three, but Buffy had waved her off.

The morning after they had gotten back to Sunnydale, Buffy had asked Faith if they could talk. Faith had tried to play dumb but Buffy didn't believe it for a second. Faith replayed the conversation in her mind, while she waited for Buffy to finish off the newbie vamps.

"Faith, can we talk?"

"Sure B. What's up?"

"Us. I want to talk about us. It's the only thing we never got a chance to talk about."

"Us?" Faith said playing stupid. She didn't know if she was ready for this conversation. Her mind was still trying to make sense out of everything. She still felt a little awkward around Buffy. Didn't know how to act around her, which had been made painfully obvious the morning after the coffee thing. She was still reacting to Buffy as if she was General B and that wasn't good. She knew it was her own fear, making her act that way. Fear of actually getting what she wanted, with the _'I'm-not-good-enough-for-her'_ attitude tossed in for good measure.

Did she know what she wanted? Faith could say without a doubt that, yes, she did.

"Faith." Buffy moved close to the Dark Slayer, capturing her fidgeting hands with her own. "You know what I mean."

Faith jumped a little at the contact. It was strange to have Buffy touch her, unless it was while they were sparing or in a purely sexual way. Faith pulled her hands away and moved halfway across the room away from Buffy. It was too hard to think when Buffy was standing that close and most especially when Buffy was touching her.

"I'm not sure how to say this," Faith looked at Buffy and saw her face drop. Buffy had an all too familiar look, it was one Faith had worn many times, it was the face of someone expecting to be rejected.

_'Think before you speak shit head!' _Faith berated herself.

"That's okay," Buffy rushed out. "You don't have to say anything. I understand. I don't blame you. I guess I was wrong, I thought you felt the same way as me. I wouldn't want... I just hope..."

Faith rushed over closing the distance between them again.

"No. It's not that. I'm not good at this. Not good with words. I'm... so much has happened over the last few days. I'm just having a hard time making sense of it all. You are the same as when I met you, but different. You know? The same _'Buffy'_ that I fel... um... It's just I need a little time. I don't want things to be... I'm still acting like you're General B. I still don't feel like I'm good enough for you.

"I don't even know how to be a friend let alone anything more to someone. I want us to be together, I want it to be right. I just feel like I need a little bit of time. Not a lot of time, just a few days to adjust to everything. I'm just use to people letting me down, and me letting them down and I'm afraid. It still hard for me to believe all of this, and B... I do want to believe it."

There was such longing in Faith's voice, that it broke Buffy's heart a little. She felt something very close to hatred for whomever had done this to the Dark Slayer. Sure, Buffy knew some of it was her fault, but she also knew that these beliefs had been with Faith long before Buffy had ever met her.

"Is this making any sense B?"

Faith was making absolute sense to Buffy. Angel had told her not to push Faith too hard, to, in essence, let Faith call the shots, move the relationship between them along. Apparently Faith wasn't the only one who couldn't count patience as one of her virtues. Buffy knew if she told Faith she had to make a decision today that Faith would choose to be with her. General B would demand something like that, not Buffy. Buffy also knew if she forced Faith to decide today that things would never be equal, would never be right between them.

Buffy didn't want fear of losing her to be Faith's motivation to be with her. She could wait as long as it took, eventually she knew within her heart of hearts that Faith would come to her. They were meant to be together, they were two halves of the same soul. Both whole in of themselves, but the circle was only complete when they were together. Buffy had no intention of going anywhere. Nor was she going to hide how she felt about Faith. She would show her without crossing whatever line Faith set.

"Yes. I understand what you're saying. I want to do this right this time too. I want things to be equal between us. I don't want you to live in fear that I am going to leave every time you or I make a mistake, or when you disagree with me. Neither one of us is perfect. I don't want either one of us to have to worry about speaking our minds. And for the record you're more than good enough for me, I just wish you would believe it too. So the proverbial ball is in your court now. When you're ready to take this to the next level just let me know." Buffy gave Faith a wicked smile. "Or you could just show me."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Now, as she was sitting on the tombstone Faith felt like she was ready for them to try. She didn't want to pick up where they had left off. She wanted, if it was at all possible, to start that part of their relationship over. She wanted to do it right. She wanted it to be as if they had just met each other. While in theory she knew it wasn't really possible, exactly, she wanted them to try the whole dating thing anyway. For once in her life Faith wanted to take things slow. She wasn't stupid, she knew it would be hard, extremely hard to simply kiss Buffy goodnight at the door and go home alone to her own bed, but she wanted to at least give it a try...

Now all she had to do was figure out how one actually dated. Maybe she should talk to the witches, they should be able to help her. Faith had never dated, not once, not anyone. There had only been one other person in her life besides Buffy whom she had even slept with more than once. This time though she wanted it all, wanted it all for both of them. Over the last six days since their conversation, Buffy had given her little glimpses into what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with her.

It was in the casual touches that Buffy gave her whenever she passed by Faith. Touches that were the _'just because'_ touches lovers give each other. The gentle way Buffy encouraged Faith to speak her mind. How she asked for Faith's opinion. How she really listened to what Faith had to say. How she made up excuses for them to be together, that even Faith could see through.

It was in the spontaneous hugs. The gentle teasing, the bantering they had re-established. It was in the fact that Buffy sensed Faith the second she came near and was waiting for her with a warm smile. It was in the happiness that lit Buffy's face up when she first saw Faith in the morning. It was in the sadness of her voice when they said goodnight and parted at the end of the day.

How Buffy had opened back up the connection between them as Slayers, more fully than even before. It was more intense, more profound, even more apparent when they slayed together moving like mirror images of each other, in perfect harmony. How Buffy asked now, instead of told or demanded things from Faith. How she did not try to push Faith into anything more than what she was ready for, but still let her know that when Faith was ready she would be right there waiting. It was in those expressive eyes every time she looked at Faith. In the way that they seemed to touch Faith in a way that was more intimate than any physical caress.

Faith was still afraid, she knew all about sex, and hate, but almost nothing about love and making love. She was just starting to begin to realize her own self-worth and she was determined that she wasn't going to let fear rule her life anymore. Fear had ruled it for far too many years, and it was time to put a stop to it.

Now if Buffy would just dust those damn vampires so Faith could tell her, or maybe just show her a little.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Somewhere in cyberspace the minutes turn to hours ~ The world is in my hands unfolding like a flower ~ A golden energy was rising out of my head ~ I shed my evil skin and found myself again ~ I was wrong I don't mind ~ The impossible seems possible this time ~ I'm an electric wire ~ If the sun can radiate than so can I...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy turned around smiling after she dusted the last of the two vampires she had been fighting.

"Finally B!" Faith let out an exaggerated sigh. "Thought we were going to be here all night. Can think of better things to do."

Faith sensed the vampire behind her at the same time Buffy shouted a warning. She had let her guard down when her mind had wandered. She started turning on the tombstone towards the vampire, then she was flying through the air.

"FAITH!" Buffy started running towards her, and heard the sickening pop of something being dislocated and the crack of Faith's head against the tombstone the vampire had thrown her into.

_OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD_

Buffy reached Faith in time to stop her from sliding down sideways to the ground. Terror, dread, and rage mingled in Buffy when she saw the dark red river spreading down the side of Faith's face.

_"Beheyednd choo!" _Was all Faith could manage to slur out to Buffy as she struggled to stay conscious.

Buffy turned towards the vampire, her mouth pulled back, baring her teeth in a snarl like a rabid animal.

"You hurt her! You're dust, mother-fucker!" She hissed.

The vampire started backing away from the golden-haired Slayer who had a very unnatural light in her eyes. With a ferocious growl Buffy launched herself at him. She dropped kicked him to the ground, and came down on top of him. She began to beat the living shit out of him. Her anger in total control of her.

Faith pulled herself up to her feet using the tombstone for leverage. She stood swaying on her feet, the cemetery was spinning and she was seeing two of everything. She took a few staggering steps towards Buffy. Out of the corner of her eye she saw another vampire coming out of the woods running towards Buffy.

_"B! Anutter un!"_

Buffy's rage reached out to Faith through their connection. Faith knew Buffy had lost her control, and slaying in rage got you hurt, made you make mistakes, Faith knew that from her own past experiences. She saw as the second vampire rapidly approached Buffy. Faith didn't know if Buffy had heard her or was even aware of him.

She stumbled towards Buffy, keeping herself standing, conscious and moving by sheer force of will. She would rather die herself than let anything happen to Buffy. She had failed Buffy too many times, she wasn't going to fail her now.

"Later asshole," Buffy said a second before she dusted the vampire having heard Faith's slurred warning. She turned and started rising to her feet.

The second vampire caught her with a kick to the chest, knocking her to the ground on her back. He came down on top of her, forcing the breath from her and pinning her arms with his knees. He punched her with a right cross then a left cross, then another right. Buffy struggled under him, trying to free her arms. She had to get out of this or both she and Faith were dead.

Echoing the Dark Slayers thoughts of only a moment before Buffy thought; she would rather die than let anything happen to Faith, she had failed Faith too many times she wasn't going to fail her now.

"You lose Slayer!" The vamp smiled baring his fangs at her as he started to lower his fangs towards her neck. He ignored the other human who was staggering towards him from behind. That turned out to be the last mistake the vampire made in his undead life.

The vampire was staked in synchronicity, in the chest by the golden-haired Slayer who managed to get her arm free by sheer determination, and in the back by the raven-haired Slayer who used the last bit of energy she had left.

As if they truly were one, the only thought the Slayers had as the vampire turned to dust was; _'She's safe.'_

Buffy looked up to see Faith standing over her with a lopsided goofy grin. She was tilting to the side, swaying. Her eyes were unfocused and blood covered one side of her face, her left arm hung limply at her side. The stake she had used to dust the second vampire fell from her hand. She put her hand out in front of her as she started to pitch forward, the ground rising up quickly to meet her.

Buffy got up just in time to catch Faith as she passed out.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith came thrashing back into consciousness on a sea of pain. Her arms flailing at invisible vampires, a bolt of pain shooting through her from her dislocated left shoulder.

"**BUFFY!**" She yelled sitting up straight in the bed, her eyes wild, not really seeing where she was.

**_BgottahelpBHelpBHelpB!_**

Hearing Faith shout her name shocked Buffy out of her light doze. She immediately rushed over to the hospital bed.

**_Thankyouthankyouthankyou!_**

"Ssshh. It's okay. I'm right here baby. It's okay."

Faith calmed down immediately upon hearing Buffy's voice. She grimaced at the throbbing in her head as she turned towards the sound of Buffy's voice. She took in the wrinkled and dirty clothes, the red swollen eyes, and the already fading bruises on Buffy's face from the vampire.

The memory of what had happened came back to her. She gingerly raised her right hand to her head, only to have it captured by Buffy's shaky ones.

"How long?" Faith asked Buffy when it finally hit her that she was in the hospital.

"A day. I was so worried... so scared... The doctors didn't know when you were going to wake up, if you were going to wake up. You scared the shit out of me. Don't ever do that again Faith! Promise me!" Though Buffy was sure she had cried them all out over the last twenty-four hours, the tears came anyway. Only this time they were tears of happiness.

Faith was stunned, amazed as she saw the tears fall from Buffy's eyes. Tears for her? The red, swollen eyes, were they from tears Buffy had shed for her while she lay unconscious? Finally as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to the Dark Slayer's thick skull, it began to sink in just how much Buffy cared for her. That while she might not believe in herself, Buffy believed in her, believed in them. That someone like Buffy could cry over her, awed and humbled the raven-haired Slayer.

There was finally for Faith, a light shining into the long dark tunnel that had been her life for so long. Like that little spark of hope that had started all those months ago when she had first thought it was possible to find redemption. Now there was a light calling out to her, dispelling the shadows, showing her, giving her the courage, to reach out and finally try to begin to believe in her own self-worth, and what she had to offer. To finally begin to hear what they all had been trying to tell her, what her heart, her soul had known all along that she could be.

Buffy would swear until the day she died that her heart had skipped a million beats at the beautiful smile that radiated from some bright place within the Dark Slayer. Faith would swear the same thing about the smile that Buffy gave to her in return.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...This is a good day for a revolution of the mind ~ Voices ride the wind and take me to the light ~ I crawled over broken glass to find a place in the sun ~ It was with me all along the circle had begun ~ I was wrong I don't mind ~ The impossible seems possible this time ~ I'm an electric wire ~ If the sun can radiate than so can I...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Willow and Tara stopped dead in their tracks as they entered Faith's hospital room. For the first time Willow was catching a glimpse of what Tara had seen, sensed and felt that day the Chosen Two had done Tai-Chi together, without actually trying to see it. It was different then what Willow had seen and sensed about just Faith. This _'knowing'_ was about both Slayers, not as individuals, but as a _'knowing'_ of what they were together. What both witches thought to themselves the Chosen Two probably didn't even know themselves yet.

Willow wondered to herself if that was what she would see and sense if she could see her and Tara from outside herself. As if she had heard the question Tara whispered softly into Willow's ear, _"Yes."_

Both Slayers turned towards the door, and shared with the witches the smiles they were giving to each other, causing both Willow and Tara to catch their breaths. There was almost an ethereal becoming about them. Then the moment faded as such moments always seem to fade, to quickly become a distant almost surreal memory.

Faith pulled Buffy down on the bed next to her, taking comfort in Buffy's presence beside her.

"Hey." Faith greeted the witches.

"Hey yourself. You had us worried Faith!"

"How are you feeling?" Tara asked, finishing for Willow.

"Five by Five. Well I will be as soon as B gets me out of here. Good thing I got a hard head."

"You sure you're ready to get out of here?" The concern showed on Buffy's face, and in the tone of her voice.

"Yeah B. I want to go home."

"'K. I'll see about getting you out of here." Buffy tried to get up, but Faith wasn't quite ready to let her hands go.

"You have to let go Faith, otherwise, I'll never be able to get you out of here. I'm sure you don't want me to yell for the doctor, not after that hit you took to the head. It's gonna cost me a bundle to replace that tombstone."

"Think maybe we could work out a trade or something B?" Reluctantly Faith let go of Buffy's hands.

"Oh I'm sure I can think of something." Buffy rushed out of the room. While Faith felt herself blush a little thinking about what _'something' _could be.

Faith got out of bed and stood for a minute, her legs a little shaky, and waited for the room to stop spinning. So she lied, it was only a small white lie, but she would rather be home and dizzy than in a hospital any day. She hated hospitals with a passion, she had spent far too much of her life in them. Though she wouldn't admit it to anyone they gave her the _'willies.'_

"Thanks." Faith said gratefully when Willow dropped her clothes on the hospital bed.

"You need help getting dressed?"

"Nah. I think I can manage Red. Just close the curtain will ya."

Faith managed to get her socks, pants, and boots on all the way, but not her shirt, she hadn't even bothered to try to put on her bra. She hated them anyway, only wearing them when she went slaying.

She could only get the shirt over her injured arm, figures she was wearing a button down, instead of a _'ginny-tee'_ this time. Even with her Slayer healing her dislocated shoulder was still too painfully sore to allow her to raise her arm high enough to get the other half over her right shoulder.

"Um... I a... might need some help." Her face already turning red at the thought of either witch seeing her naked from the waist up. For some reason unknown to her, she had become suddenly shy.

"Did I hear someone say they needed help?" Buffy said as she stepped behind the curtain.

The throaty tone of Buffy's voice sent a tingle through Faith's body right from her hair clear down to her toes. Her eyes locked with Buffy's as she came towards her, Faith blushed as she felt her nipples get hard just from that look.

Buffy stopped right in front of her and reached around behind Faith to catch her shirt and pull it up so she could put her right arm through it. As Faith moved her arm back and up to put it through the armhole of the shirt, her upper body lightly brushed up against Buffy. Both Slayers gasped at the contact.

A soft sensuous smile played around Buffy's lips as she pulled the shirt up the Dark Slayer's arm. She delicately ran her fingers along Faith's collarbone, then down the base of her neck. Buffy began to button up Faith's shirt, skimming her fingers along the raven-haired Slayer's skin as she did up each button slowly. Faith's breathing became a little more erratic with each feather light touch of Buffy's fingers against her skin.

Buffy stepped back from Faith when she finished buttoning up her shirt. The tips of her fingers were vibrating from touching Faith. Her breathing just as erratic as Faith's. Faith took a half step towards her, and stopped at the soft cough that came from outside of the curtain, reminding both Slayers they were not alone.

"Ready?" The question implied so much more.

"Was ready yesterday B. Never got a chance to tell ya." Faith opted to answer Buffy's silent question instead.

The smile Buffy gave Faith let her know she had made the right choice.

"Just..." Faith hesitated feeling a little shy.

"What baby?"

"Can we... If it's okay with you, try and take it a little slow? I mean I know we kinda, well not kinda we sorta already skipped right to the sex. No dating or anything. I'd like to try and start from the beginning. Ya know?"

_Oh Christ how stupid did that sound? Smooth Faith, what am I taking lessons from Pee-Wee Herman now?_

Buffy looked at the suddenly shy and awkward Dark Slayer and thought she looked absolutely fucking adorable. Buffy wanted to show Faith all about the romance, the wooing, the dating, the slow build up, the anticipation that came with waiting for the time to be right. Wanted to show her the difference between making love and fucking. Being in love and being in lust. Buffy wanted them to remember that as the start of what she hoped was their future together, not the weeks that General B had treated Faith like her new toy.

"Slow is good. I was hoping you would say that. A new beginning is just what I would love for us both to have. Ready to go home now?"

The smile Faith gave Buffy was all the answer the golden-hair Slayer needed.

The Chosen Two emerged from behind the hospital curtain hand in hand. Faith forgetting about her lifting gloves, and the scars upon her hands. Buffy not mentioning them, the scars she had chosen to ignore before, and now wanted to know about, but knowing now was not the time to ask. There was nothing that she didn't want to know about the Dark Slayer and Buffy hoped that someday Faith would trust her enough to tell her about it all.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As each of the Chosen Two drifted off to sleep that night, it was cradled within the arms of the other.

Both knowing that whether they were at Buffy's house, the Mansion or anywhere else, for the Chosen Two home would always be within the circle of each other's arms.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...This is a good day for a revolution of the mind ~ Voices ride the wind and take me to the light ~ I crawled over broken glass to find a place in the sun ~ It was with me all along the circle had begun ~ I was wrong I don't mind ~ The impossible seems possible this time ~ I'm an electric wire ~ If the sun can radiate than so can I

- Darling Violetta

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	14. XIII - Breathe

XIII – Breathe

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith snuggled deeper into the warm arms that were holding her. She was so liking this dream. Slowly as she came fully awake, the reality that the warm flesh she felt beneath her hand, the heart she could hear beating steadily in the chest on which her head lay, the scent she was surrounded by; which Faith could only describe as just _'Buffy'_, wasn't a dream. And she was so liking this much better than any dream.

"Morning," came to her softly as she felt Buffy's hand slide up her arm and gently brush the hair back from her face.

"Morning to you, too."

Faith slid up the bed and turned on her side so she could see Buffy. Still a little - hell, a lot, amazed that she was here. She had expected when Buffy had said she would take her home that she would bring her back to the Mansion. Faith had almost blurted out as much when they had pulled up in front of Buffy's house. Buffy had used the excuse that the doctor had told her to keep an eye on her for at the very least two days, because of the seriousness of her head injury. Further, the doctor had only released Faith after Buffy gave him her word, she would stay with her.

Buffy had surprised the Dark Slayer further when she insisted that Faith stay in her room with her. Faith had agreed shyly, and wondered once again where the shyness was coming from. Shy was not a word she would have ever thought to use to describe herself. Brash, cocky, aggressive those were more like it. Shy? Not in a million years. Then again, these last months had been full of surprises, she had been discovering things about herself that she still couldn't believe.

Buffy was already awake when Faith woke. She had been listening to Faith's steady and even breathing as she had for most of the night. She had been afraid to sleep, after coming so close to almost losing her. Losing her before they even had a chance to begin again. She knew they would need to talk about what happened, they had let themselves get distracted by each other, and they both could have ended up dead. Buffy once again gave silent thanks to whoever had granted them both another sunrise and had just spent the night listening to Faith breathe.

She propped herself up on her side, bending her elbow and resting the side of her head in her hand. Looking into Faith's deep, dark, brown eyes, Buffy let herself fall into them. Lifting her other hand she traced along Faith's hairline over her forehead, down between her eyebrows, along the bridge of her nose, down the side of it, to follow the line of her cheekbone, then finally came to a stop at the corner of her mouth. Buffy's paused for a second then let her fingertips continued their journey, tracing around the outside of those slightly pouting lips, then dipping in to trace along the line that separated them.

Faith stared back into Buffy's open gaze. Letting herself tumble into the tantalizing faint touch of Buffy's fingertips as they explored the contours of her face. She couldn't remember anyone ever touching her this way. She struggled to think of a word to describe the feelings it created in her and then gave up, and just allowed herself to feel. She captured Buffy's fingertips between her lips. Her breath caught as she felt Buffy's fingertips continue their exploration, running along the inside of her lower lip, grazing along her teeth.

Buffy couldn't resist any longer she had to taste what her fingertips were exploring. Slowly she leaned down and captured Faith's mouth. Softly, so softly she kissed Faith, her mouth a mere whisper, her tongue tracing delicately, following along the same path her fingertips had taken on their exploration of Faith's mouth.

Faith let herself get caught up in the intricate spider web of feelings Buffy's kiss was stirring in her. So many different feelings, desire, lust, passion, joy, too many to count; all from those fingertips that had touched her so gently, and now from this light as air kiss. She began to tremble, the desire building up in her slowly, smoldering like a burning ember, so different from anything she had ever felt before. And Faith knew Buffy was feeling it too, could feel the trembling start in Buffy. Then Buffy was pulling away, and Faith wanted to scream at the loss. She opened her eyes and saw the soft smile on Buffy's face and the promise in her eyes that there were would be many more such kisses.

The kiss left Faith wondering why everyone always rushed off in the morning. It certainly didn't explain the whole ta-do about morning breath, because as far as she was concerned, Buffy's breath was like roses, and her kiss tasted better than even the sweetest wine. The smile Faith bestowed on Buffy was brilliant, this was her very first, _'Spend-the-night-wake-up-next-to-and-share-a-morning- breath-kiss-with-someone.' _

This was the second one of Faith's secret wishes that Buffy had made come true for the Dark Slayer. Actually the second and third, because part of that secret wish was that the _'someone'_ be Buffy.

Buffy saw the innocence in Faith in that brilliant smile and the breath caught in her chest. Her soft smile turned into a very large grin, then a giggle when Faith's stomach chose that moment to growl.

"Come on let's feed you. I think I'm scared of the way that stomach of yours growls."

It was a good thing Faith's stomach broke the moment; otherwise Buffy knew, if they stayed there a few seconds longer, she would have forgotten what slow meant. More than anything Buffy wanted to show the Dark Slayer how it should have been between them from the beginning. How it could have been if they both could have kept their innocence.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I can feel the magic floating in the air ~ Being with you gets me that way ~ I watch the sunlight dance across your face ~ And I've never been this swept away ~All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy was still amazed by the amount of food Faith could eat and still keep that luscious, mouthwatering, delectable body.

_Easy there girl. Slow. Sister here. Hurt Slayer. Down girl. Slow, remember slow. Recite the alphabet, count sheep... Go crazy._

"Do you want more to eat Faith?" Buffy was almost afraid to ask.

"I don't think there's any more food left, except maybe a few crumbs left in the bottom of the bread bin..." Dawn said mischievously.

"Real funny kiddo. Good thing for you I'm hurt or there would be some serious tickling going on right now."

"I'm not the one who's ticklish. Remember Faith?"

"You're ticklish Faith?" Buffy said with a cunning grin.

Oh this wasn't good. Faith didn't like the evil look that was in Buffy's eyes. Nope not good at all. Faith threw Dawn a, _'Thanks-a-whole-lot-for-telling' _look. Dawn just smiled at her. She liked having the Dark Slayer around. She was fun and she made Buffy smile.

"Don't know what she's talkin' 'bout B. Not ticklish. Nope not me. Not a ticklish bone in this body. Lots of healed broken bones, but no ticklish ones. Not a one." Faith knew she was snagged; the _'Willow babble' _mode did it. She never used to babble, lately she had become a babbling idiot, in fact, both her and Buffy had become babbling idiots. Even if she wasn't snagged she certainly was after Dawn's comment following her babble.

"Liar. You're such a liar. You know you're ticklish. If you weren't hurt I'd show Buffy just how ticklish you are. Even Mom knew you were ticklish. 'Sides it was the only way I ever won at Mortal Kombat!"

That evil gleam in Buffy's eyes just grew larger. Dawn had just given away one of the Dark Slayer's most well kept secrets. Being ticklish did not fit in with her whole Bad Girl image, not at all. Question now was; Was Buffy ticklish as well? At least that would even the playing field.

"So... Buffy... Are you ticklish?" Faith asked with a sly look. She didn't really expect Buffy to answer, she did expect Dawn would though.

"Buffy is..."

"Dawn! We're sisters remember?" A little desperate.

"No fair B. That's sooooooo not fair." Faith tried out her best pout on Buffy. It didn't work.

"Who said anything about fair? This is tickling we're talking about here. There is nothing fair about tickling."

"True. Just be warned though. I will find out B. Ya coulda made it easy. But noooooo... You are gonna make me find out the hard way. Just remember that simple fact, when all is said and done. "

This time, it was Buffy who didn't like the evil gleam in Faith's eyes. Faith wiggled her eyebrows at Buffy when she saw the evil gleam replaced by an _'ut-oh' _look.

Dawn started giggling at how silly the Chosen Two were being, Buffy joined her. Neither Summers' sister had felt this happy, carefree or young in a very long time.

Faith tried to keep the pain she felt when she wiggled her eyebrows out of her expression. She had forgotten the stitches she had gotten on her left temple and the large bruised lump. While she was healing faster than normal because of her Slayer healing, she was still in the _'It-hurts-like-hell'_ stage of healing. Faith didn't care though because it was worth the pain just to hear the joyous sound of the two Summers' sisters giggles.

"Dawn do me a favor."

"What?" Dawn asked suspiciously.

"Run upstairs grab my wallet and car keys. We'll go rent some movies and do an all-day movie, pizza and popcorn day. 'K?"

"Yay! I like those!"

Buffy waited until her sister was out of earshot to speak. She didn't want to worry Dawn, she had been hysterical when Faith hadn't woken up right away at the hospital. The doctor hadn't helped when he told Buffy, in front of Dawn, the next morning, considering the seriousness of Faith's head injury, he didn't know how long or even if Faith would wake up. They would have to wait and see. Dawn was afraid Faith had slipped into another coma, or worse she was going to die on them like their Mom had. It had taken all of Buffy's powers of persuasion to calm her down, especially since the same thoughts were echoing loudly through her own head.

"You okay? Do you want one of those pills?" Buffy hadn't missed the pain that flashed across Faith's face. She even had sort of sensed, almost felt an echo of it in herself. Odd.

"Nah. Don't like pills, no drugs. I'd rather be in pain." A shadow passed for the briefest second over the Dark Slayer's face and then it was gone. If Buffy didn't know better she would have thought she imagined it.

Buffy took in Faith's droopy eyes and knew Faith was getting tired and was in pain, the food and the conversation having sapped most of her energy. Not that Faith would ever admit it Buffy thought, wouldn't fit her whole _'Bad Girl' _image.

"My shoulder and head hurt a little and I am kinda tired though B." Faith smiled when Buffy's mouth dropped open. First though, she had to close her own because it had dropped open the second after she said it.

It was a first for her, she never admitted to any weakness, showing weakness made you vulnerable. With the exception of _'The Incident'_, she hadn't shown any weakness, not even to Angel, he had just always seemed to know. Most of the people she had met in her life took advantage of the vulnerable, the weak. But deep down inside Faith knew Buffy wasn't one of those people and by showing her vulnerability to Buffy, Faith had just taken the first baby steps in giving her trust to her.

Buffy decided it was time she stopped making any assumptions about the Dark Slayer, and instead just take the time to get to know the woman who was sitting in front of her. The woman who had been surprising her left and right since her return to Sunnydale. Had she done that in the first place, the whole _'General B's got a new toy'_ mess would have never happened.

Buffy made sure Faith was comfortable on the couch in the den before she and Dawn went out to get movies. She leaned down and gave Faith a quick kiss on the cheek before she left, whispering in her ear; "I miss you already."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The doorbell woke Faith from her nap. Grumbling she staggered to the front door, thinking Buffy had forgotten her keys, and wondering why she would even bother to lock the door anyway. She could kick the shit out of anyone who came in uninvited, so what was the point? She was cranky, her head and shoulder were throbbing, as well as another part of her body, thanks to the dream she had been having about Buffy.

Faith wasn't a _happy camper _and she became even more unhappy when she saw who was standing on the doorstep.

"Hello. We came by to wish that you, _Get Well Later._"

"Soon. Not later. It's, _Get Well Soon._"

Faith stood with her mouth hanging open, another thing she noticed she had been doing a lot of lately. Right now, she really wished she was dreaming.

"Oh. Are you sure?"

"Trust me it's _Soon._"

"Okay then _Get Well __**Soon...**_ Faith! These are for you. Traditional _Get Well __**Soon**_ gifts. I wanted to keep the Teddy Bear but Xander wouldn't let me." A card, a little teddy bear, a basket of candy, and a first aid kit were shoved into her arms.

Faith juggled the four items in her good arm, snapping her mouth closed before she started drooling like an idiot. _'Please oh please,'_ she thought, _'let me be dreaming.'_

"Ah... Thanks?" Faith let out a sigh of relief when she saw Buffy and Dawn pull up in front of the house.

"Xander didn't want to come here. But I told him it wouldn't be proper. You are after all Buffy's _Orgasm Buddy!_"

"Anya," Xander groaned.

"What? It's true. Tell him that it's true."

"Tell him what's true Anya?" Buffy asked as she walked up with Dawn.

Faith frantically shook her head no at Buffy. A sharp pain went through her skull, it felt like someone had just jabbed her through the eye with an acupuncture needle. She hissed in pain, a wave of dizziness swiftly washed over her and everything started to spin. She reached out blindly with her good arm seeking something to keep her from falling on her face. Her, _Get Well Soon _gifts went flying, as well as Anya when Buffy shoved her out of the way to get to Faith.

For the second time in two days, Buffy caught Faith before she could fall.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

A few hours later Faith was almost wishing she had stayed at the hospital. Their movie, pizza and popcorn day had turned into a Scooby Fest. Willow and Tara had shown up a few minutes after Xander and Anya. Didn't these people have jobs, school, something, anything?

The only good thing about the day was that she had spent it on the couch with her head cradled in Buffy's lap. Relaxing into the feel of the hand that stroked her hair and the fingertips that ran random patterns across her neck, shoulder, and arm. There was comfort in those touches, a secure warm fuzzy feeling, of those _'just because' _touches. Faith was beginning to think getting hurt wasn't such a bad thing after all.

The absolute best part was that Buffy didn't care what anyone thought either. When they had first sat down to watch a movie, Faith had tried sitting on one end of the couch, but Buffy wasn't having any of it. She sat on the couch with her and gently, but firmly, pulled the Dark Slayer towards her, until Faith lay with her head in Buffy's lap.

While Faith didn't care what anyone else thought - _which really wasn't true -_ she just wasn't going to let it stop her from being with Buffy, she did, however, care about what Dawn thought. It was one thing for Dawn to know that she and Buffy were like Red and Blondie, but did she really understand what that meant? Faith would have known at fourteen, but Dawn wasn't her.

Dawn had seemed fine though, had even offered to get Faith a pillow to make her more comfortable. Even Dawn knew that while Buffy may look all soft and petite, it was deceptive; she was hard as a rock underneath. Faith declined the offer, preferring to lay her head on Buffy's warmth rather than a pillow any day.

This was a completely new type of P.D.A., _Public-Display-of-Affection,_ for Faith. Her previous experiences with it were more all the _shove-your-tongue-down-someone's-throat-and-go-get-a-room, _type P.D.A.'s. Holding hands, an arm around the shoulder, soft kisses, things that lovers did, they were new to her. And she found she liked it, oh she liked it a whole goddamn lot.

All these new sensations, these new types of emotions, feelings, Buffy had aroused in her in just one day, amazed, and overwhelmed her a little. One thing they did not do was scare her. No, not at all, not even a little. She couldn't wait to see what tomorrow would bring.

As Buffy continued to stroke her hair, the raven-haired Slayer drifted off once again to sleep.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

For the second morning in a row, Faith woke to the feeling of being cradled in Buffy's arms. This time it was she who just lay listening to Buffy's even and steady breathing, her heart beating slowly. The Scoobs had left around nine the night before, when Tara had ushered them out after seeing how tired Buffy was.

Tara took one look at Buffy and figured she hadn't had much sleep since Faith had gotten hurt. Faith was already asleep; her head still on Buffy's lap, and Buffy seemed more asleep, than awake. Faith was so deeply asleep that she hadn't woken up until Buffy had tucked her into bed, and didn't crawl right in beside her. She mumbled a protest, and Buffy was immediately by her side, soothing her, telling her she would be gone only for a second, she needed to get ready for bed. Both Slayers fell to sleep seconds after Buffy crawled into bed beside Faith.

The Chosen Two both jumped when Buffy's alarm clock went off.

"Nonononononono." Grumbling, she didn't want to wake up. "Damndamndamndamn"

One of them had to move and shut off the clock or at least hit the snooze button. Supporting herself with her good arm Faith reached over Buffy with her injured arm, it still hurt, but the pain wasn't quite as bad as yesterday. She slammed the clock's snooze button.

Buffy's arms came fully around her pulling Faith down and closer to her. Faith leaned down and planted a light butterfly kiss first on one closed eyelid and then on the other.

"Mmmmmm. Like this."

Faith continued to place light butterfly kisses all over Buffy's face. She was liking this morning thing. Finally after a dozen or so kisses Faith leaned in and claimed Buffy's mouth with her own. Giving to Buffy that same light as air kiss, Buffy had given to her yesterday. Pulling away, she traced along Buffy's jaw line with her tongue up to her ear. She caught Buffy's earlobe with her teeth and nibbled it gently.

"Morning." The sound of Faith's voice, low, raspy, and laced with desire, sent a shudder through Buffy.

Buffy pulled Faith down onto her and gently pressed Faith's head into her shoulder. _'Slow, remember slow,'_ she thought.

"Morning. How are you feeling today?"

"Better. Less pain in my shoulder. Throbbing is gone in my head." Faith left out the part about other parts of her anatomy throbbing. _'Slow, slow, want to take this slow,'_ she thought, echoing Buffy's sentiments.

"Good morning." Dawn yelled from the hallway in a voice that was way too cheerful for either Slayer. Morning people they were not.

With a groan, both got up.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms ~ The whole world just fades away ~ The only thing I hear ~ Is the beating of your heart...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

****When Buffy got back from driving Dawn to school Faith was nowhere to be found. She climbed the stairs up to her bedroom thinking that maybe she had gone back to bed.

"Goddamn, son-of-bitch! This sucks! Ahhhhh..."

Buffy went back down the hall when she realized that Faith was in the bathroom.

"Faith. You all right?" Buffy asked through the door.

Faith had run herself a bath after Buffy left. She had thought it would be easier than taking a shower since she wasn't supposed to get her stitches wet. She was wrong, she couldn't figure out how to get her hair wet without drowning herself and she really, really, wanted to wash her hair.

"Faith?"

"I...um..."

_Fuck this is embarrassing._

"B, I kinda need some help."

Buffy rushed through the door; her first thought was that Faith was hurt. She stopped so abruptly that she slid on the bathroom floor and almost fell. There was Faith smiling at her, sitting in all her naked glory in the bathtub and Buffy felt herself turning beet red.

_OHMYGOD! Control! Control is goooood! OHMYGOD!_

"Help... ah... help with what?"

_Help with touching... That would be... Touching help... Hope it's touching help..._

"I want to wash my hair but I can't seem to..." Faith trailed off when she felt the desire that was radiating from Buffy reach out and wash over her. A low moan escaped from her lips.

Buffy moved towards Faith in a trance. She knelt down besides the tub. Reaching past Faith, she grabbed the plastic cup off the ledge of the tub.

"I can help with that," Buffy leaned towards Faith and placed her hand behind her neck and under her hair. "Lean back."

Faith leaned back into Buffy's hand, her eyes never leaving her face. Buffy dipped the cup into the water filling it. She wanted to dip her head down and capture one of those tantalizing breasts that were jutting up out of the water just begging for the touch of her mouth. Instead, she poured the water over Faith's hair, refilling the cup time and again until Faith's hair was thoroughly wet, just like Buffy was.

Buffy stood and took the shampoo off the shelf. She sat down on the side of the tub and poured some of the shampoo onto Faith's hair. Leaning into her, Buffy began to massage the shampoo into Faith's scalp, careful to keep it away from the stitches along her hairline. How many times had she run her hands through Faith's hair and never let herself notice how thick it was, how much like raw silk it felt beneath her fingers?

She applied pressure with her thumbs and fingertips, rubbing in small circles. Sliding the pads of her fingers from Faith's hairline down to the nape of her neck, then using just her thumbs she massaged all the way around Faith's hairline. The warmth of Faith's breath caressing her neck and chest with each exhale of air, causing even more heat to flood through Buffy's veins.

Faith closed her eyes and relaxed into Buffy's touch. A tingling sensation ran down the length of her spine with each touch of Buffy's fingers against her scalp. She gasped in pleasure when Buffy touched a sensitive spot behind her ear, sending a bolt of fire running down her back.

Buffy washed Faith's hair for what seemed like hours. Then her hand was once more behind her neck. Faith leaned back without being told, as Buffy rinsed the shampoo from her hair.

Faith ran her hand up Buffy's arm, over her shoulder to reach behind her neck and draw her down, bringing Buffy's mouth to her. Kissing Buffy with raw desire, her tongue deftly gaining access. Buffy moaned into Faith's mouth, and Faith deepened their kiss. Running her tongue along the length of Buffy's, then retreating, only to have Buffy's follow. She pulled Buffy's tongue deeper into her mouth sucking on it gently.

Faith's whole body was quivering with desire, a fire burning inside her, reaching down into her core.

Buffy felt like she was on fire, she felt Faith quivering beneath her hand and it only added more fuel to the fire. She was going to go over the edge just from the kiss.

The Chosen Two broke apart, both breathing heavily. Buffy slowly opened her eyes and found Faith's were still closed.

"Faith?" Was that her voice, so deep, so low, so husky?

With every part of her being Buffy wanted to make love with Faith, and she had no doubts that Faith wanted that too. But... Slow, Faith had asked her to go slow... And Buffy wanted that too. How much longer either one of them could go slow Buffy didn't know. Was she waiting for some sign? Some sign from Faith that she had finally given up the foolish notion that she wasn't good enough. A sign that Faith had given her, her trust? A sign that Faith no longer saw her as General B, but as Buffy. Somehow, Buffy knew they would both know when the time was right.

When they finally did make love, Buffy wanted it to be perfect. Without ever being told, she knew Faith had never made love... So, she remained silent and waited for the raven-hair Slayer to look at her; her eyes would tell Buffy if the time was now.

Faith slowly opened her eyes. She was physically ready to make love with Buffy, her body was demanding it, but emotionally she wasn't ready.

She wanted a little more time...

...to separate these new emotions...

...to experience what it was like to be innocent...

...to move away from the bad memories...

...to build good memories...

A little more time because, she was truly beginning to believe that she was good enough...

A little more time for that light in the dark tunnel that had been her life to get brighter...

Buffy looked in Faith's eyes and searched for her answer. It was what she hoped. She smiled and let out a shaky breath.

"B... I want to... But... I'm..." Buffy stopped her with a brief, light as air morning kiss.

"I know... I do too... I hoped though you would feel the same..."

Faith let out a sigh of both relief and frustration. Relief because Buffy understood and frustration because her own body didn't.

"I think I better let you finish your bath now..." Buffy rose from the side of the tub. She wasn't quite sure how she made it to the door her legs were so weak. She turned around before she left.

"If you need me I'll be in Mom's bathroom taking about an hour long cold shower." She closed the door to the sound of Faith's light laughter and a grumbled, _"I know exactly how you feel."_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...'Cause I can feel you breathe ~ It's washing over me ~ And suddenly I'm melting into you ~ There's nothing left to prove ~ Baby, all we need is just to be ~ Caught up in the touch ~ Slow and steady rush ~ Baby, isn't that the way that love's suppose to be ~ I can feel you breathe ~ Just breathe...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

After her cold shower Buffy went downstairs and found Faith sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of her. She poured herself a cup and joined the Dark Slayer at the table, and they shared a comfortable silence as they drank their coffee.

The scorching fire that had been running through both Slayers' veins was still there, only now it was more like a steady stream of warmth flowing through their veins. Both knew that a single touch would set the fire ablaze in seconds. Both knew that if they wanted to go slow staying in the same house, sleeping in the same bed every night was not going to work. Both knew the time would come soon enough for that, for now they were both in perfect accord that they wanted to take it slow, for as long, well not too long, as they could. Now all one of them needed to do was find the courage to say it aloud.

_Fear. Not gonna let the fear own me anymore._

"Thanks for washing my hair B." _'Not the best way to start this conversation,' _Faith thought as she felt herself blushing.

"It was my pleasure..." There was so much more implied in that simple phrase and Buffy joined Faith in blushing.

"B?" Buffy looked expectantly at Faith and she knew that Faith was the one who had found the courage to bring up the subject of her going back to the Mansion.

It dawned on Buffy that over the last few weeks it has been Faith who, despite any insecurities, any fears she may have, had always been the one to tackle the difficult things, the stuff that was really important. The Faith Buffy had known would have avoided them, played them off. The Faith sitting in front of Buffy now didn't avoid the hard stuff, she tackled it head on and tried to resolve it. And Buffy was proud of her, proud because Faith had managed to pull herself out of the cesspool that had been her life and rise above it.

Faith had her feet squarely planted on the road to redemption, to making a better life for herself, making a better, safer world, and no matter what anyone threw her way, she wasn't budging off that path. Buffy was finally beginning to truly see the woman Faith was, the woman Faith was becoming, the woman that Angel had seen that Faith could be, the woman that she had always been in her soul. The light that shined from the Dark Slayer was blinding. And Buffy felt honored and fortunate that Faith wanted to share it with her.

Buffy smiled encouragingly at Faith as she watched her struggle to find the right words.

"B. This morning... The bath... Shit, I'm not sure how to even say this." Faith paused trying to make some coherency out of her jumbled thoughts. She knew what she wanted to say but not how. This talking about things was hard, it was going to take some practice and she was sure that she would screw it up a lot, she just hoped that Buffy would understand her meaning behind the words rather than what the words themselves said. She had a funny feeling this was never going to be one of her strong points.

"It was nice... Well, it was more than nice, way, way, more, ya know?" Faith felt the heat rush to her groin just at the thought. If she kept this up, they would be celebrating their one-year anniversary by the time she finished what she wanted to say.

_Whoa! One-year anniversary! Me and Buffy. Woo Hoo!_

Buffy watched as a... the only way she could think of it was as a dreamy far off look came into Faith eyes. She wanted to know what that look was for, and she fervently hoped that whatever it was for included her.

"What ya thinking about Faith?"

Faith was so caught up in the fantasy of her and Buffy and a future together, that without giving it a second thought she answered Buffy, and said exactly what was on her mind.

"That at the rate I'm going trying to tell you that I should probably go and stay at the mansion if this whole slow thing is going to work, we'll be celebrating our one-year anniversary."

The sound of her own voice shocked Faith's own right back into the here and now. She looked directly at Buffy and for once Buffy saw that the Dark Slayer's eyes held not the slightest hint that Buffy would reject her or the idea of a future of them together. Instead, what Buffy saw was hope, and Buffy knew that her eyes held that same look. Hope that given their short lives as Slayers they would both still be alive.

As they continued to look at each other there was no need for them to speak to understand what the other was thinking. Because in both their heart of hearts they both now truly believed that whatever time they had left would be spent together.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...In a way I know my heart is waking up ~ As all the walls come tumbling down ~ Closer than I've ever felt before ~ And I know, and you know ~ There's no need for words right now...  
><strong>xxxxxxxxxx<strong>

There were clothes strewn all over the room. Across the bed, on the floor, over the back of the chaise lounge, a trail from the closet into the bathroom, there was even a pair of underwear hanging off the chandelier.

"This... nothing... skanky... who... never... gonna... now I'm gonna be late... shit... sucks... not a fucking thing... tramp wear... should of went shopping... dumb ass."

Willow and Tara were sitting on the chaise lounge watching the Dark Slayer as she mumbled under her breath. Pulling out her clothes and quickly flinging them across the room. She was running around in a silk robe, her hair still dripping wet, no make-up on yet and Buffy was due to pick her up in an hour for their first ever, real date. It was an understatement to say that Faith was a fucking nervous wreck.

Faith turned and looked at the two witches when she heard a snicker come from their direction.

"This ain't funny!" Faith started ranting, and rummaging through her closet again, throwing clothes. "I can't go out lookin like a skanky whore. Who the fuck taught me how to dress? Look at these clothes. Fucking A! I can't go. That's it! I musta had a screw loose. Who am I kidding..." Faith trailed off when she heard the witches out and out giggling. She turned towards them again.

"It's not funny! Who invited you here anyway? You're no help. Come on it's not funny! Stop laughing."

_Oh my god! I'm whining. I don't whine._

Willow and Tara started laughing even harder, tears rolling down their faces. As she watched them, she started to see the humor in the situation. Faith started laughing herself, she couldn't help it. How stupid was she being, it was pretty obvious by now Buffy could give two-shits what Faith wore. The last three days with Buffy had been the most amazing of her life, and she had been in sweats and a tee-shirt for all of them, and Buffy didn't seem to mind at all. Still Faith wanted to look nice; they were, after all, going out to dinner, making their first public appearance as a couple. She didn't want anyone wondering why the golden-haired Slayer was out with the skanky slut. Faith didn't give a damn what anyone thought of her, but she did care about what other people thought about Buffy.

"This issss just tooooooo cute..." Willow choked out between fits of laughter.

"This is not cute. It's not funny. It's, it's, it's..."

Willow got up from the chaise lounge deciding to help Faith now that it looked like she had calmed down. She had tried before but had practically gotten buried under clothes as the Dark Slayer rejected just about everything in her closet, her dresser drawers, and the boxes that up until an hour ago had still been unpacked.

"Okay let's see what we've got here."

Faith turned towards Willow ready to start ranting again until she saw Willow standing less than a foot from her, hands on her hips in total Resolve Face...

Even Faith knew better than to fuck with Resolve Face Willow.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Hi Buffy. Dawnie." Tara had run downstairs to get the door while Willow helped Faith finish getting ready. "Faith will be down in a minute."

Tara had to suppress the smile that was threatening to appear. Buffy was rocking from foot to foot; it was obvious that she was just as nervous as Faith. You would think that these two barely knew each other, but the more Tara thought about it, in a way they really didn't. Having sex with someone didn't mean squat when it came to knowing who a person was. Both Buffy and Faith had changed a lot over the last year or so. Granted Faith had changed a hell of a lot more, but Tara had a sneaky suspicion that Buffy's soul had always recognized who the real Faith was. It had just taken her a while to understand and accept that.

It was so cute that they were trying to start over; both witches knew that it couldn't be easy. Hell you couldn't stand too close to either of them when they were in the room together without getting scorched by the heat that was between them. Secretly both witches were glad they were taking this time to get to really know each other instead of trying to pick up where they had left off and change it from there. While Faith might still have a hard time believing it, both Willow and Tara were pulling for her, pulling for both her and Buffy. The witches knew, had absolutely no doubt that the Chosen Two belonged together.

Tara and Willow had volunteered to watch Dawn. It was Faith suggestion that they do it at the mansion since Glory didn't know about her. They all thought it would be safest here. Neither Buffy nor Faith liked the idea of leaving Dawn alone for too long, it had taken quite a lot of doing to get them to go out alone tonight.

"So what movies did you get for us to watch Dawn?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy rose from the couch and started walking towards the stairs when she heard Faith and Willow coming down. She stopped moving the second Faith came into view, she stopped breathing too.

Faith had on a pair of glove leather, dove gray hip-hugger pants, with black platform _'Muro' _boots. A silk gray v-neck sleeveless shirt, which had an even lighter stitched paisley design running through it. She wore a full-length woman's lightweight black silk blend duster. Her raven hair was its customary wild 'finger-running' through it look. Her eyelids were done in brown and green tones of eye shadow to bring out the little specks of emerald that were almost invisible in those dark brown eyes. White pencil eyeliner was used with a thin-line of dark brown liquid eyeliner drawn over the top of the white. The combination of dark on light made her eyes appear even larger. Her black eyelashes seemed almost impossibly long. Instead of her customary red lipstick, her lips were outlined in a dark chocolate brown and glossed with a very light bronze.

Faith walked hesitantly towards Buffy, the whole shyness thing kicking in again.

_Damn shoulda never let Red dress me, do the make up! What the fuck is with this shy thing?_

Faith stopped in front of Buffy, feeling a little awkward, not really sure how to stand, what to do with her hands. Buffy saw the shyness in Faith's eyes, and if she could stop gawking long enough she could maybe say something.

"Is a... this all ri..."

"Beautiful. My god. You are beautiful... Not that you aren't all the time... But... Wow!"

"Thank Red she..." Faith nervously looked around for Willow and saw that everyone else had disappeared from the room. She wasn't used to anyone telling her she was beautiful, other not so nice things yes, and those she knew how to respond to, but not beautiful.

Buffy had one of Faith's hands in hers, and was removing the lifting glove from it before she had a chance to stop her. Faith had refused to remove them even when Willow had pulled Resolve Face on her again. Buffy saw the panic flare up in Faith's eyes when what she was doing sunk in. Buffy didn't want to ruin the moment, the date by starting it off this way, but she didn't want Faith to feel like she needed to hide her hands or the scars, just because she wasn't ready to talk about them.

When Buffy had seen, or rather acknowledge, their presence in the hospital, she had wondered how Faith had gotten them. Then over the course of the next two days when she had gotten a better look at them when Faith was sleeping, she began to get a very good idea of how they had gotten there. Her heart broke a little when she realized they were self-inflicted and once again, Buffy silently thanked Angel for seeing in Faith what she had refused to let herself see. Buffy knew he had gotten Faith through it, had gotten her to stop inflicting upon herself the self-mutilation.

"B don't! I like them. Want to keep them on..."

"It's okay Faith. I've seen the scars. I refused to acknowledge them when I saw them before. And I'm ashamed of that. Then at the hospital I... You don't have to tell me about them if you don't want. When you're ready you can tell me. You don't have to hide them. I promise not to ask. I can wait." Buffy paused and smiled at her.

"B... I want to tell you... I... its just... It's still too hard... And my hands... they're ugly... they..."

Faith was struggling she wanted to tell Buffy about it, she just couldn't yet. Didn't know if she could explain it. Was a little afraid to travel back into that quiet, dark place to tell her about it. She could look at her hands now, she still saw, sensed, the blood, but just acknowledged it presence, accepting it as part of her. Though, every once in a while she still had nightmares about it. The damage though she had done to her hands was ugly and she didn't want to let anyone see it. Didn't want to see that pitying look in anyone's eyes when they realized how the scars had come to be.

"There is absolutely nothing ugly about you Faith. Nothing ugly about the scars." Then Buffy raised Faith's hand to her mouth and kissed the back of it very softly.

Still holding the Dark Slayer's hand Buffy said a little shyly, a little embarrassed;

"I like the warmth of your hand in mine. I know that's selfish of me. I can't help it. I just like the feel of you."

Faith looked into Buffy's eyes, eyes that did not stare back at her with any pity. Eyes that stared back at her with so much more, but pity wasn't any part of that more.

Faith took off the other glove herself. For the first time since Angel had bought them for her, she went out into the world without them and it wasn't because she had momentarily forgotten about the scars upon her hands.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They went to a nice little _'Family,'_ as in gay, restaurant and dance club that Red and Blondie had told Faith about right outside of town.

They had a quiet dinner, just being together was enough, they held hands through most of it. Both of them got a good laugh, first at the look the waiter had given them when they ordered so much food, then later when he came back to clear the table and saw they had eaten it all. The look, however, he gave Faith when she asked him what they had for dessert was priceless. Faith swore to Buffy after he left that he was ready to look under the table to see if they had hidden any food under there. They weren't laughing so hard though when the bill came. Unless one of them hit the lottery both Slayers knew that they wouldn't be eating out a lot, it was just too expensive with the amount of food they ate. Then again, they could always eat a big snack before they went out to eat.

Money was going to become an issue soon for Faith. The money she had made while working for Angel wasn't going to last forever, she was going to need to find a job. A real job. Had Faith ever bothered to look at the balance for her checking account instead of just always throwing away the slips from the ATM machine, she would have been surprised to see how much money was actually in there. Without telling her Angel had taken a portion of her pay each week and given it to Wesley to invest for her, and as it turned out the investments had been good ones.

"I should start looking for a job. Especially since I doubt the council is going to put me on the payroll."

"Do you know what you would like to do?"

"Never really thought about it much. Figured it didn't matter ya know, being a Slayer and all... I never even finished high school. I guess I really won't have many choices in any case 'cause of that."

"What about getting your G.E.D. first. Willow could help you. Then maybe college."

"G.E.D. hmmm... That I could do. College? Don't know about that B. Me and college. Not really the book smart type. Street smart type is more like it."

"I don't believe that for a second. I think you can do anything you set your mind to."

"You're just saying that 'cause you want to get in my pants." Faith turned beet red. Christ how the hell could she have said that?

_Real smooth! Way to go. Way to impress B. Sure can dress me up but can't keep the trash out._

"You're right about that. Get in them. Oh yeah. Get them off too..." Faith swore Buffy was purring as she spoke. Before Faith had a chance to react, Buffy got all serious on her again. "You can do whatever you set your mind to. You've already proven that. You turned your whole life around Faith, not many people can do that."

"I had help. Angel helped me. I could never have done it without him." Faith saw guilt flash across Buffy's face, in a weird way she kind of almost felt an echo of it in herself.

"B... I didn't mean to... Ah fuck!"

"It's okay Faith. He was the one that helped you. We both know that, we talked about this. I'm glad he was there for you. Glad someone was there for you. When I couldn't, wouldn't be there for you. In the long run though it was you who did this for yourself. You who had to want to change. You could have had a hundred people helping you, but if you didn't want to change it wouldn't have mattered. Give yourself some, no, a lot of credit. It was all you in the end."

What do you say to something like that? Say to someone that has that much belief in you. It kind of scared Faith in a way that Buffy believed in her so much, scared her because she was afraid to disappoint her. The more Faith thought about it ,the more she realized that Buffy was right, in the end it all came down to her making the choice to change. To take back control of her life, going to Angel had been the first step. The second had been asking for his help, so trying to kill him as a way to ask for it wasn't the best way she could have done it, there were better ways for sure. Faith finally realized that asking for help didn't make you weak, wasn't something to be embarrassed about, it meant simply that you just needed help, and there was no shame in that.

"Maybe tomorrow we can go find out about me getting a G.E.D., not promising about the college thing though. But I kinda always thought I would like to do something that helped deprived kids ya know. I suppose I would have to go to school for that. What do ya think B?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They sat at the table holding hands and talking for hours. At first Faith was uncomfortable with Buffy holding her hands, with having her scars exposed, so out in the open. Expecting, that despite her promise, Buffy would ask her about the scars, but Buffy surprised Faith, she didn't ask once or even hint around about them. It was like she accepted them as part of Faith, much in the same way that Faith had accepted them herself.

It wasn't like Buffy was ignoring them either. She was just waiting for Faith to tell her about them. Faith realized after a while that for most of the night while Buffy had been holding her hands, she had been running her thumbs lightly across the scars. Tracing them as if to soothe away the hurt, the pain, as if she understood the how and the why they came to be.

On some level Faith knew that Buffy did understand, did know the how and why. Like Faith, Buffy had blood on her hands, only the blood on her hands was Faith's. And Faith knew that Buffy still hadn't forgiven herself, and didn't really believe that Faith had forgiven her either for what had happened on the roof that night that felt like centuries ago. But Buffy had to believe Faith forgave her and she had to forgive herself, otherwise the past would always haunt them, they would never really move past it. She had to figure out a way to get Buffy to really believe within her heart that she had forgiven her and then Buffy would finally be able to forgive herself.

"Hey," Faith pulled herself out of her contemplation. She smiled at Buffy. "Want to dance Faith?"

"Sure," Faith said before she realized it was a slow song. Slow dancing wasn't something she was really experienced with, but Buffy was already pulling her towards the dance floor. Faith tugged at her to stop, and Buffy turned giving her a quizzical look.

"B... I... well I don't really know how to slow dance."

"I do." Buffy pulled a semi-reluctant Faith out to the dance floor before she had a chance to protest further.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy pulled Faith close to her, sliding her arms around her waist under her jacket. She began to move them as Faith's arms came up and around her neck. Their bodies brushing intimately against each other, thighs brushing thighs, hips pressed to hips, breast to breast. Buffy could feel Faith's heartbeat against her chest.

Faith leaned her forehead against Buffy's, her breath caressing Buffy's face. She let Buffy move them slowly around the dance floor and not once did the thought occur to her that this would be the last time, like it had the only other time they had slow danced.

Faith ran her hand up the back of Buffy's neck to tangle in her hair. Buffy tighten her arms around Faith in response. Her other hand ran down to Buffy's shoulder lightly massaging the muscle there, sliding up to her collarbone with slight, almost non-existent touches, then back again.

Buffy's own hands were wandering in random patterns over Faith's back. Liking the way the silk felt under her hands, cool and smooth in contrast to the heat she could feel coming from Faith, awaking in her a similar heat. She ran one of her hands along Faith's side, her thumb grazing along the outside of Faith's breast and was rewarded with a low gasp from her.

Buffy's other hand moved lower down Faith's back pressing them closer. A low moan escaped Buffy as she felt Faith's lips graze her ear, down to right below it to kiss her softly, her tongue sneaking out for a quick taste. Buffy continued to move them around the dance floor her feet having a will of their own; dancing was the last thing on her mind.

Faith pulled back a little from her, her gaze traveling down to Buffy's mouth. Buffy's lips parted slightly in anticipation as Faith began to lower her head towards her. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest; she closed her eyes waiting, wanting that kiss. Wanting, needing that delectable mouth upon her, wanting, needing to taste the sweetness that was Faith.

Faith lowered her head towards Buffy her own heart beating an erratic cadence in her chest. She saw as Buffy's lips parted slightly in anticipation, as her eyes closed waiting for her kiss. Her hand slid once more up the back of Buffy's neck to tangle in her hair, she moved Buffy's head towards her to meet her halfway. Then she found Buffy's mouth with her own.

The rest of the world ceased to exist for the two Slayers. There was nothing but the feel of being in each other's arms. Nothing but the feel of their mouths upon the other's in that delicate, tender, sweet kiss. The sensation of tasting each other's breath, a feeling of breathing in each other's soul. The call of the other, as tongues touched, explored and tasted. The warm flow of passion that was running through both of their veins, the current of electricity that flowed between them. Knowing that for right now this was enough, this slow building fire, this anticipation of what would eventually come, this feeling of falling in love all over again. Of at last falling in love with the other they had both finally allowed the other to see. Each knowing that what they had felt before did not even come close to what was beginning to happen between them now.

Now that they had finally learned to see.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...'Cause I can feel you breathe ~ It's washing over me ~ And suddenly I'm melting into you ~ There's nothing left to prove ~ Baby, all we need is just to be ~ Caught up in the touch ~ Slow and steady rush ~ Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be ~ I can feel you breathe ~ Just breathe...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"There is no way that all of us, and all of them are going to fit in the car!"

Faith, Buffy and Dawn were standing by one of the rides at the fair they decided would be a fun date for not only themselves, but something they could do with Dawn. The fifteen stuffed animals Faith had won surrounded them; there would have been more had Buffy not stopped Faith.

They had spent the night going on the rides, eating cotton candy, hamburgers, hot dogs and more cotton candy. Buffy had fun watching the Dark Slayer all night; it was inconceivable to her that Faith had never been to a fair before. Inconceivable that no one had ever taken Faith to one ever. All night long Buffy watched as Faith and Dawn giggled like little kids. How Faith seemed to find joy in the simplest of things. From the thrill she got from going on her first ever roller coaster, begging to go on it again and again. How she blushed when Buffy wanted to go on the Tunnel of Love ride, how she seemed almost shy when Buffy took her hand into hers and held it the whole ride. How Faith dragged Buffy and Dawn from ride to ride, food stand to food stand. The sound of her laughter, so young and carefree in the house of mirrors, to her later grumbling under her breath when she couldn't find her way out of the maze. The way she clutched Buffy's hand in a death grip when they went through the Haunted House.

Then Buffy had made the mistake of saying how cute the stuff animals were, and Faith had found herself a mission. She was determined to get every single different one for Buffy.

"Ah B, come on look how cute they are!"

"I didn't say they weren't cute. All I said was that we all can't possibly fit in the car."

Faith knew Buffy was right, what the heck was she going to do with them? She looked around and an idea came to her. She picked up the little black teddy bear. She walked over to a little boy who had been staring at all of the stuffed animals. Faith smiled at his mother, who in spite of herself smiled back at the Dark Slayer. Bending down low so that she was at eye level with the little boy, she held out the teddy bear to him.

"This is for you." The little boy looked up at his mother who nodded her head it was all right. He turned and gave Faith a toothless smile and took the teddy bear eagerly from her.

"Take good care of him, 'K."

"'K, thanks."

"You're welcome." Faith waved goodbye and walked back over towards the Summers.

She was rewarded with beautiful smiles from the Summers' sisters when she reached them. She snatched up a few more of the stuffed animals and looking around again headed off towards other little children to give them away. Buffy noticed that the children Faith gave them to were the ones who seemed to come from poor families. Whose parents didn't seem to have the means to waste twenty dollars trying to win a five-dollar stuffed animal for their kids.

Faith continued to amaze Buffy every day, this caring side of her, the way she noticed the little things, there was so much more to her than Buffy ever imagined. It awed her how much Faith gave back to a world that had never given her much of anything at all.

Faith returned for the last time and held out her hands for the white and black stuffed panthers that Buffy was holding.

"Not these. I want to keep them." Something about the way Buffy said it aroused Faith's curiosity.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to keep them B?"

"Because."

"That's not an answer B."

"Well that's the only answer you're gonna get F!"

"Really..." Faith started to advance on Buffy, and Buffy didn't like the evil gleam in her eyes. Buffy turned and started to run, she knew that evil gleam.

Dawn chased after the Slayers, thinking, _'Oh here we go again!_ Dawn knew what that evil gleam meant as well, it didn't matter which of them had it.

Faith caught Buffy on the field outside of the fair grounds and tackled her, twisting so that it was she who fell to the ground, Buffy on top of her. Faith quickly reversed their positions. Kneeling with a knee on either side of Buffy's waist, she looked down at the beautiful woman who was still holding the two panthers tightly to her chest.

"Last chance to tell B!" Buffy shook her head no at Faith. "Okay, don't say I didn't warn you."

Faith began tickling Buffy, who started yelling for her to stop, or she was going to pay in between fits of laughter. Buffy could get out of this, but she loved the almost childlike joy Faith got out of it. She seemed so young and carefree, and in return, it made Buffy feel the same way. In a way, it made them both feel like they were just two ordinary people.

Faith continued to tickle Buffy, until Dawn, who had finally caught up, tackled her. Now it was her turn to be tickled by the Summers' sisters, begging them to stop in between shrieks of laughter. Then Buffy and Faith ganged up on Dawn, then Dawn and Faith on Buffy, until they were all gasping for breath, their sides hurting from laughing so hard, and tears rolling down their faces.

Faith never did find out why Buffy wanted to keep the light and dark stuffed panthers.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The next evening found Buffy pinned up against the padded wall in the training room. Faith was holding both of Buffy's wrists with one of her hands above her head. She leaned the upper part of her body into Buffy's, using her foot she placed it in between Buffy's, and applying a little pressure, widen the distance between Buffy's legs. Then she moved between them and brought her lower body into intimate contact with Buffy's.

Starting at her thigh she delicately raked her nails up the length of it, over Buffy's hips, up her torso, the side of her breast. Faith then changed to using the pads of fingers to run up the sensitive underside of Buffy's arm, reaching her wrists, she switched hands and did the same in reverse down the other side of Buffy's body. The sound of Buffy panting low in her ear, sent a vibration of heat straight down to coil in the pit of Faith's stomach, then reach down and add more heat to Faith's already overheated center.

When she could reach no further, Faith slid her body down Buffy's just far enough to kiss along the top of Buffy's workout shirt. Tasting with her tongue the sweat that was there, both from their training session, and from desire, there was nothing else in this world like it.

Faith could feel the heat and the moisture from Buffy's core hot upon her stomach. She felt an answering moisture in her own core. She slid her free hand up the back of Buffy's thigh, and slowly slid her body back up Buffy's, trailing her tongue, raking her teeth along her skin on her way up to Buffy's neck. She placed little love bites there, sucking on her skin, leaving little tiny marks. Her hand came up to cup Buffy's ass and she pulled Buffy into her even more tightly. Buffy bucked up into Faith, this exquisite torment driving her crazy. Faith pressed back into her, moaning...

Her hand came round to slid over Buffy's stomach and teasingly dip below the waistband of Buffy's shorts, making a promise that neither Slayer was ready to fulfill just yet. Buffy's whole body felt like one hot current, there wasn't a part of her that wasn't tingling, oversensitive to the slightest touch from Faith. At this point, a kiss on the cheek caused both Slayers to get soaking wet. Neither could count the number of cold shower they took each day, but still they continued to torture each other. Living each day in a haze of desire, lust, passion, in the heat that was between them waiting to be fulfilled.

Faith's hand slid further up Buffy's torso, over the top of her shirt to play with a painfully erect nipple. She ran her fingers around it, raking her nails over it through the shirt. Then using the palm of her hand Faith raised Buffy's breast to her, dipping her head down to capture Buffy's nipple with her mouth through the shirt. Biting it, teasing it with hard flicks of her tongue, across its sensitive tip, causing Buffy to moan with each touch.

Buffy struggled to get her hands free, needing to touch the Dark Slayer. Wanting to feel that hot flesh beneath her hands.

"Faith..." She moaned, and Faith felt herself get even wetter from the husky sound of her name falling from Buffy's lips.

Faith relented and let go of Buffy's wrists, wanting to feel her touch. Every part of her body had become an erogenous zone over the last few days. Faith had never experienced anything like it before. Her other hand came down to torture Buffy's other nipple, until Buffy grabbed her forcefully by the arms. She brought Faith up to her, leaned in and captured Faith's mouth with her own.

Their kiss was wet, hot, wide open, each trying to devour the other. Their tongues dueling, running over each other's teeth, lips, sucking them into each other's mouth like candy. Faith moaned into Buffy's mouth, the vibration of it ran straight down into Buffy's core making her even more impossibly wet. She pressed her hips up even harder into Faith who pressed back down in return, starting a rhythm between them. Neither Slayer knew how they were still standing.

They had been torturing each other like this for days now. They still hadn't made love, they weren't quite sure why they were waiting. Both wanted to more than anything they ever wanted to do in their whole lives, but still they waited. Waited for something to tell them that the time was right, that the past had been completely forgiven, would not rise up to haunt them. Would not be used as a weapon to hurt each other. So they tortured each other with the kissing and the touching, with the promise of more, the promise of a release that was yet to come.

They made out on the couch at night after Dawn went to sleep like high school kids, a new experience for Faith and one that Buffy was more than happy to teach her. They had their hands on each other every second they were alone. They were driving each other crazy and enjoying every minute of it. They had found each of the other's hidden, non-obvious erogenous zones. They were learning each other's likes and dislikes; they were taking their time with each other.

Buffy had taught Faith over the last few days the difference between a sexual kiss and the _'I'm-happy-to-see-you' _kiss, to the slow building passionate kiss, to the out and out _'I-want-you-now' _kiss. The difference between I want to touch you _'just because'_ caress and the _'I want you' _touch.

But they also spent hours talking, learning about each other. Surprising each other, having fun, giggling, laughing, even having a few quarrels over what to watch on TV. They spent time alone with each other, time with Dawn, time with Willow, Tara, Anya, and Giles as they all started to get to know each other. Discover who the real person was beneath the surface. Only Xander was still reluctant to give Faith a chance. She knew she needed to talk to him, but she was too caught up in the whirlwind that was Buffy right now to do it.

"I can't take much more of this. God..."

Faith pushed herself away from Buffy, after all this waiting she didn't want the first time they did make love to be on the floor of the training room. They stood staring at each other, their bodies pulsating with unfulfilled desire, a little bit unsteady, breathing erratically, but smiling.

Then Faith stepped in close to Buffy again and gathered her back into her arms, just holding her, loving the feel of her there. The way it just felt right. They held each other tightly waiting until their bodies calmed down enough so they could go face the rest of the world. That was how Willow and Tara found them.

"S-s-s-sorry."

"No problem."

The Slayers moved apart, but remained holding hands. They were comfortable showing their affection for each other in front of the witches and Dawn now, well not quite as affectionate in front of Dawn.

"Buffy, Dawn is out front she needs to talk to you."

"I'll meet you out front I just want to wash up. 'K, B?"

Buffy gave Faith a quick kiss and went into the shop to see what her sister wanted.

"So guys everything set for tomorrow morning?"

Faith had finally come up with an idea on how she might be able to get Buffy to forgive herself for stabbing her. She just hoped it didn't backfire on her. She had discussed it with Willow and Tara and they seemed to think that it was worth a shot. Faith then enlisted their help.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They talked for about five minutes; the witches seemed to have everything under control. Faith started to walk towards the bathroom to wash up when a wave. No, not a wave, an echo of fear hit her, followed quickly by anger, only it wasn't hers, it was Buffy's. Without even giving a second thought to how she knew this or why she was feeling it, Faith ran for the front of the Magic Shop.

She skidded to a stop when she entered the store and she saw who Buffy was facing off against. Faith didn't know them personally but she knew who they worked for. Fear rushed through her like wild fire, panic was hot on its heels.

_NO! NO! NO! Why can't they just leave me alone? WHY?_

Buffy turned towards Faith the second she came into the room. This time Buffy got the echo of emotions, Faith's fear and panic reverberating in her. It was odd this echoing thing, but she didn't have time to dwell on it now. Buffy walked towards Faith, smiling at her reassuringly and Faith started moving to meet her halfway. The Chosen Two stood side by side facing down the three members of the Watchers Council.

"Tell the others to get their asses in here and to stand where I can see them Quentin." Buffy demanded.

Quentin Travers nodded to one of the other men with him who looked more like hired muscle than a Watcher. The man left the shop and returned quickly with four other well-muscled Watchers. Although Quentin hadn't said why he was here yet, there wasn't a person in the shop that didn't know the reason. They were here for Faith and they were going to be in for a big surprise.

They had been searching for her since she had gotten out of jail, but Angel had kept her well hidden. Had kept the fact that a Slayer was working for him in L.A. when she had been well enough to do so very quiet. Kate had set up a fake paper trail for him that led to the East Coast, which was where they had been looking.

It was only by sheer luck they had found out that Faith was here. They still had a spy working for them at the hospital, and she had called them only yesterday to let them know that Faith was here in Sunnydale. They had arrived on the first flight in, and had come here to speak with Giles and Buffy about helping them capture her. The Council was still under the mistaken belief that the two Slayers were enemies. They didn't want a Rogue Slayer on the loose.

"Since I doubt you are all here for tea and bisques, mind telling me what the hell you are doing here? We had a deal. Remember Quentin?"

Buffy folded her arms across her chest. She had gotten control of her initial anger; there was a cold calm detachment to her tone. She was trying to, in the same way that they shared their aura with each other while they practiced Tai Chi together, share her calmness with Faith now. Buffy visualized it surrounding them both, and again felt that odd little echo of Faith's emotions come back to her, and this time knew that Faith felt it too from her. Knew because, Faith had whispered low only for her ears_, "Thanks B. Okay now."_

"I think you already know the reason we are here."

"Why don't you tell me, tell us, so that we're all clear on it. I would hate for us to be on different pages, you know what I mean? Especially since we were all just beginning to play so nicely together again."

"Perhaps, you, Giles and I, should talk about this privately."

"Not happening."

"But I think..."

"Well I don't. It's not gonna happen. So speak."

"We've come for Faith to take her back to England."

"You mean like you did the last time?"

"Well, no. We want to reeducate her. She needs to atone for what she did." Quentin was clearly uncomfortable now. He had been expecting assistance not resistance.

"She has already atoned for what she did. I guess even the mighty Council couldn't get to her when she was in jail. Lucky for her. As for your reeducation, I know firsthand what kind of reeducation you people believe in."

"Ms. Summers you have to understand, to know that she is unstable."

"I understand nothing and for the record Faith is not unstable."

"After all she did to you? Did to your family, your friends. She sided with the Mayor. She stole your body."

"Your point is?"

"You can't possibly expect that we would let her run free. She needs help. She needs to be trained properly. Only we can provide that for her."

"Faith has everything she needs right here. There is nothing that you can provide for her, nothing she even remotely needs from you! She isn't going anywhere with you. Not now! Not ever!"

"I am afraid that it isn't your choice Ms. Summers"

"No you're right it isn't B's choice. It's mine! And I'm not going anywhere with you people! I kinda like breathing."

"I am afraid that it isn't your choice either young lady." This was not the way he wanted to play this. One uncontrollable Slayer was enough, two were unacceptable. He was still chafing over his last meeting with the Chosen One not that long ago, still angry she had managed to get the upper hand on him.

"Think long and hard before you do something stupid Quentin. Especially since it hasn't been that long since we all kissed and made up. So that there is no misunderstanding between us. Faith is not going anywhere with you people. She is part of my family and no one. **NO ONE** touches my family. You'll have to go through me to get to her. So if you think you can beat me give it your best shot."

"And me," Dawn moved over to stand beside her sister and Faith.

"As well as me," Giles joined the Slayers.

"And us," holding hands the witches also joined the Slayers.

"Us too," Xander came and stood next to Faith. He smiled at her, he was still angry but this was his family come hell or high water and he was one-hundred-percent behind Buffy when it came to family. No one touched his family. Anya stood next to him.

"Don't forget me Luv," Spike came out of the back where he had been hiding and watching, to join the gang in their unified front.

Faith's eyes widen in amazement and gratitude as they all surrounded her. Once again, the Dark Slayer was humbled and awed, but not just by Buffy, but by all of them. These people who she had caused so much pain, had hurt, had threatened to kill were standing up for her. Thought that she was worth fighting for, thought she had something to offer. Any doubts that Faith had about her own self-worth, what she had to offer to others, about not being good enough were destroyed in that moment.

Quentin knew when he was beaten, at least for now. He would let them think this was over, but for him it was far from over. He looked at Giles.

"She is your responsibility."

"One which I am honored to accept."

"We will be monitoring you and your new charge." Quentin nodded to them and turned to leave. Just before he walked out the door, Buffy stopped him.

"Quentin," Buffy waited for him to turn back around before continuing. "One or two minor things. Since Giles now has two Slayers to watch, I believe his salary should double. Faith will be put back on the payroll. It also seems she might be going to college next fall, I'm thinkin' the Watchers Council should pay for that as well." Buffy waited for Quentin's nod of agreement, which he finally gave.

Quentin started turning once more to leave only to be stopped by Buffy again.

"Oh and one more thing. Do your watching from across the ocean. And so I am very clear. If anything should happen to Faith. Anything out of the ordinary, an accident perhaps? Anything that I even think smells of the Council well I... I just might have to tell Glory that this key she is looking for... well that the Council has had it all along. That if she wants to know where it is she should talk to you personally... She would believe me, funny thing she seems to know about our previous history... And if by chance something should happen to Faith after we take care of Glory. Something that I think smells like the Council... It won't be vampires I hunt anymore..."

Quentin left the Magic Shop with the sound of Buffy's threat ringing in his ears. He had just seen for himself firsthand the dark side of who everyone called the Light Slayer and it scared him. No one in the shop really believed that it was completely over. For now though, they had a cease-fire. At least until the threat of Glory was gone.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"I... I don't know what to say..."

Faith had to stop herself. She was in awe of them, and even though she didn't want to she started to cry. She was used to having to fight for herself. She didn't doubt that Buffy and Dawn would stand beside her but she never expected the rest of them too. She knew the L.A. group would have if they had been here, but the Scoobs, and even Spike. It overwhelmed her. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hands and tried again.

"I... thank you all... For standing up for me... I can't believe... after all... I just never..."

Willow took pity on the Dark Slayer, not in the sense that she felt sorry for her, but in the sense of how hard she was struggling to find the right words to express her feelings.

"No biggie. I mean you're part of our happy little family now. This is what family does for each other. You know stand up for each other. Save each other from vamps and evil things. Annoy each other. Get on each other's nerves. Lend money. Do favors. General nice things. You know family things. Of course now that means you're stuck with us. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. But not a bad thing in a bad way but in a good sort of way. You know like..."

"I get it Red. Thanks. Thanks all of you." Faith smiled at them. They thought of her as family, she was a little shell shocked by it. There was still one member of the family though that she had to make things right with.

"X-man we gotta talk." Faith walked over to Xander, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards the door to the training room not giving him a choice.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Thank you for what you did. I know things still aren't right between us. I can understand that. I can appreciate that now. What I did was wrong. I'm not even sure if I can explain to you why I did it. Even if I could it still wouldn't make it right."

"Why don't you try to explain it to me Faith? I think I deserve to know why." There was less anger in Xander's voice, but the hurt was still there. Somehow Faith knew it had more to do with the way she had used him as opposed to her trying to strangle him.

"I used you and treated you like trash. I treated you how I was treated my whole life. I didn't know any better, was afraid to know any better. But you kept coming back. You tried to make me see myself in another way and I was afraid of that. Afraid of what you were offering and I knew that you would keep on trying. I didn't believe I was worth it. I was afraid if I even tried, that in the end I would end up destroying you. So I did the only thing I could think of to finally get you to see me the way I saw myself. I can never tell you how sorry I am for that. You were the only one who really tried wholeheartedly... Not even B did that. I'm sorry I hurt you Xander, I really am."

Faith held Xander's eyes with her own, hoping that he would see the truth in them. See all that she was trying to tell him.

"Apology accepted Faith."

Xander looked at her. He was starting to see her for the first time. He had thought he had known her two years ago, but he really hadn't. He understood what she had been trying to tell him without actually saying it out loud. He wondered how she had managed to make it this far, survived this long all alone. The hurt he was feeling, the betrayal began to ebb, the anger was gone. He had changed, hell he was dating a twelve-hundred-year-old ex-vengeance-demon. Anya had caused more damage, more hurt to others than Faith could hope to in three life times, and he had forgiven her. Hadn't he?

Faith smiled tentatively at Xander and for the first time he smiled back at her. The hurt was still there but he wasn't angry anymore.

For once when Faith exited a room with one of the Sunnydale crew after a heart to heart, the rest of them weren't hovering around waiting for some kind of disaster or brawl. They had all finally given her their trust, finally no longer thought of her as a threat. She was family after all and family didn't hurt family. At least not their family.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The Chosen Two woke up on the couch the next morning a little over an hour before dawn. Buffy had insisted that Faith spend the night at her house after what happened with the Council. Faith had not protested, she didn't want to be alone anyway. In any case, she didn't need an excuse to spend the night with Buffy, just wanting to be with each other was enough excuse for both of them.

"Come on sleepy head we need to get dressed before Red and Blondie get here."

Faith jumped up off the couch before Buffy had a chance to distract her. Which wasn't hard at all these days. Buffy mumbled some kind of protest, but Faith knew better than to get within arm's reach of the golden-haired Slayer.

"Not gonna work B."

They had barely finished dressing when a quiet knock came from the front door. Faith opened the door and found two very sleepy witches standing there.

"Big time. Owe us so big time Faith." Tara mumbled at her as they walked in and headed straight for the couch.

They were asleep before the door closed behind the Chosen Two.

"So you never did tell me where you were taking me Faith." Buffy said as they walked hand in hand through Sunnydale.

"Um... Not gonna B." Try as hard as she could Faith couldn't keep the nervousness out of her voice, they were getting close to their destination, and she wasn't sure how Buffy was going to react.

_Great plan. What if it backfires? Maybe I should have thought about this more. Gotta do this. We gotta get past this. Have to. Otherwise..._

Faith stopped her musing when her arm was almost torn out of its socket. Buffy had stopped walking and had tightened her grip on Faith's hand, while Faith had continued walking.

"Faith?" There was a tremor in Buffy's voice. Faith didn't have to ask, she knew Buffy realized where she was taking her.

Faith turned around and faced Buffy, closing the distance between them. She grabbed both of Buffy's hands into hers and looked deeply into her eyes.

"You know I would never do anything to hurt you. Hurt us. Don't you B?"

"Yes," Buffy answered her without the slightest hesitation, and Faith knew she was speaking the truth.

"Then can you just trust me? Trust me 'cause we need to do this. Need to, to make it finally all right."

Buffy nodded her head, again without the slightest hesitation. They started walking once more in silence to where the last of their bad memories lay, to where Faith hoped that by the time the sun rose in the morning sky they would finally be laid to rest.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They walked into Faith's old apartment, the one the Mayor had given her. The apartment where one Slayer had wanted her life to end and the other had been there to end it.

Buffy stood just inside of the entrance. The memory of that day still fresh, like the guilt, the regret, the loss and the remorse. She saw the ghost of Faith reclining on the bed, reading a comic book, saw her own ghost shut off the stereo. As the ghost of Faith rolled off the bed and faced her, locking eyes. As Buffy's own voice reached out to her from the past:

"Thought I'd stop by."

"Is he dead yet?" Ghost Faith smiled at her, while Buffy's, Faith came up behind her and wrapped her arms around her.

She was listening too, could see this day as clearly as Buffy, could hear their voices from the past whispering to her too. They were once again sharing the odd echoing of emotions from each other. Faith knew now that coming here was the right thing to do, knew Buffy hadn't forgiven herself. Knew that Buffy didn't truly believe that Faith had forgiven her either.

"He's not gonna die. Good try, though. _'A'_ for effort. Your plan?" Ghost Buffy's voice was hard, cold.

"Uh-huh. Mayor got me the poison. Said it was wicked painful." There was almost a gleeful sound to ghost Faith's voice.

"There's a cure."

"Damn. What is it?"

"Your blood." A flicker of surprise went across ghost Faith's face as she took in what ghost Buffy told her. Then a flicker of understanding was there. "As justice goes, it's not un-poetic. Don't you think?"

"You come here to get me? Gonna feed me to Angel?" There was almost the sound of relief in ghost Faith's voice. A knowing that it was finally going to be over. Ghost Buffy nodded at her. "You know you're not gonna take me alive."

"That's not a problem." Ghost Buffy said.

The Chosen Two watched and listened as the ghosts of themselves finish playing out the past. As they began to fight, exchanging blows, hurting, punishing each other. They followed their ghosts out onto the roof terrace. Then over to the edge of the roof by the ledge where the last of the nightmare played out.

Ghost Faith moved ghost Buffy closer to the edge of the roof, she clearly had the upper hand. With sincerity she said;

"Man, I'm gonna miss this..."

Ghost Buffy wrenched her arm free with the knife and buried it into ghost Faith's stomach. She watched the shock spread across that beautiful face, a tiny stream of blood coming from her mouth, and she pulled the blade free and watched as ghost Faith clutched at her stomach as she started to sag, then threw an uppercut sending ghost Buffy halfway across the roof to land on her back.

"You did it..." There was both confusion and pride in her voice as she looked at ghost Buffy. "You killed me." The ghost of Faith looked over the side of the ledge. "Still won't help your boy, though." She smiled at ghost Buffy there was a numbness to it, a dead look in her eyes. "You shoulda been there, Buff. Quite a ride."

The ghost of Faith leaned back and in a slow, graceful, perverse way fell over the side. The ghost of Buffy ran over and heard a skull crushing impact, as she looked over the edge of the building she saw the twisted, bleeding, unnaturally still body of ghost Faith laying on the bed of a moving truck.

"No..." She said in an empty small voice.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The Chosen Two stood holding each other as the memories faded. Faith could feel Buffy trembling in her arms. Heard her as she kept saying _'I'm sorry,'_ over and over under her breath. Buffy pulled free of Faith and fell down to her knees, sobbing. Faith walked around her and knelt in front of her, she gathered Buffy's hands into hers, as her own tears fell to join that of the golden-haired Slayer.

"Buffy." Faith whispered softly, and Buffy looked up at her in surprise. Faith smiled at her softly seeing the surprise mixed in with all of the other emotions that Faith was all too familiar with herself. "Yeah B, I know your whole name."

And despite everything that she was feeling Buffy couldn't help but let out a soft laugh at that inane statement.

"I'm sorry Faith." It sounded so inadequate to Buffy. There would never be a way to express fully the guilt, the remorse she felt.

"I know that B. I'm sorry too. But you have to forgive yourself. You have to let yourself move past this. So we can move past this. You have to believe that I've forgiven you."

Buffy looked down at her hands that were clasped in the Dark Slayer's, and when she raised her eyes back up to Faith, Faith knew exactly what Buffy had seen when she was looking at her own hands. Faith saw it on her own hands every day.

"I don't know if I can Faith. There's blood. I see blood on my hands... your blood. I feel dirty inside. Like something sick has moved in there and it's eating me alive. Haunting me. I hurt you, I tried to kill you. How can you ever forgive that? How can I?"

"I'm not going to lie to you. You did hurt me. You tried to kill me. And I have forgiven you. And you can forgive yourself. I know you can, because I've learned to forgive myself. I can help you if you'll let me. It's not going to be easy. You may forgive yourself, but you will never forget. It will be something you'll carry with you forever. But if you don't forgive yourself the guilt in the end will destroy you, destroy us, destroy any chance for us. You'll carry the blood on your hands just like I do. The sickness you feel inside is the guilt and you're right it will keep on eating you alive if you let it. I know. I know what it can do to you. It's how I got the scars on my hands. If you'll let me I'll tell you about them."

Faith drew Buffy up to her feet. Holding her hand, she walked them over to the other side of the roof terrace, where a blanket was spread out on the ground, a small basket sitting upon it. Faith silently thanked the witches for doing this for her. She sat down on the blanket and opened her arms to Buffy. She waited, holding her breath, waited for Buffy to decide. Her breath came out in a whoosh of relief when Buffy move down onto the blanket and crawled into the waiting arms of the Dark Slayer.

"When I was in jail there was this woman Ridge..." Faith began softly.

Faith told Buffy the tale of how she began to forgive and heal herself. There were things she left out, things Buffy knew that went further back from before any one of them knew Faith. As Faith told her story of how she learned to forgive herself and to heal, Faith gave to Buffy the courage to begin to heal and forgive herself.

As the Chosen Two sat upon the rooftop dispelling the bad memories, creating a new one of trust, the sun rose into the sky, bringing with it the promise of hope for the new day. This time it also gave a gift to the Chosen Two as it crushed that last of the walls that separated them.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Caught up in the touch ~ Slow and steady rush ~ Baby, isn't that the way that love's suppose to be ~ I can feel you breathe ~ Just breathe ~ I can feel the magic floating in the air ~ Being with you gets me that way

~ Faith Hill

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	15. XIV - I Feel You

XIV – I Feel You

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They spent the morning up on the roof terrace. Faith told Buffy everything that happened to her after she had gone to jail. Then all of what had occurred after Angel had come for her at the courthouse. How he had taken care of her. How _Queen C_ had taken over when he had temporarily gone mad, how Cordy had enlisted the aid of Wesley and Gunn. How she had worked for Angel before she came here, her struggle the first time when she actually had to stake a vamp and then finally she told the story leading up to her coming back to Sunnydale.

Buffy moved out of Faith's arms, and turned to face her, kneeling. She reached out and gently wiped away the tears from Faith eyes. Tears Faith hadn't even realized she was crying. She gently cupped that beautiful face between her hands.

"Have I ever told you how amazing I think you are? How proud I am of all that you've done. How honored I am just to know you. How much you awe me. How humbled I am by you. How I admire that you aren't afraid to show the world who you are or how much you care..."

"Enough B. You're gonna give me a big head!" Faith laughed softly, pulling Buffy back down into her arms, placing a tender kiss on her lips.

Then softy Faith told her, "Those are all the things I saw in you. All the things I still see and feel about you. Things that you always were, things that you are now, things that no matter what you do, you will always be. Always be to me."

Buffy snuggled back into those strong arms, feeling safe, feeling loved, feeling forgiven. Faith began gently to probe her with questions. Drawing Buffy out, getting her to talk about what happened in the same manner that Angel had gotten her to talk. Giving Buffy a chance to release it all, just like Angel had given her.

Release all the dark demons that had been haunting her, the demons that had nothing to do with Faith and the ones that had everything to do with Faith. The things that had nothing and everything to do with each other. Faith directed the conversation like a conductor, leading Buffy to the road she herself was on and after they had finished talking they lay secure in each other's arms. Comfortable in the silence and Faith knew that Buffy was well on the road to healing and forgiving herself. There was nothing left to stand in their way.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I feel you ~ Your sun it shines ~ I feel you ~ Within my mind ~ You take me there...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They had barely made it in the door before Dawn rushed them.

"Willow and Tara said I could sleep over. They're gonna teach me some spells! _SocanIcanIBuffy? Pleaseeeee!_"

Faith had to hide her smile behind her hand when she saw that there was already a bag packed by the bottom of the stairs.

"Well can I?" Dawn impatiently asked again.

"Well... I don't know Dawn..."

Dawn turned and looked at Faith begging her with her eyes to help her.

"Come on B. What harm can it do?" Faith said playing along with Buffy.

"I don't know Faith. You know spells and things. I mean she could get hurt."

"I'll be careful I promise. Please Buffy!"

Buffy leaned against the wall, rubbing her chin pretending to think about it. Dawn looked pleadingly at Faith again.

"The kid said she'd be careful. I 'm sure Red and Blondie won't teach her anything bad. Right guys?"

"Right no bad spells... Just good spells... No bad type spells... Like blowing up spells... or turning people into furry things... You know like the spell I did... Ah... forget that..."

"Right what Willow said I think..." Tara said pretending to be confused. Actually, she was confused. Wondering if Willow really did blow something up, she already knew about Willow turning Amy into a rat.

"Still..." Buffy said. "I don't know..."

Dawn took a good look at her sister. She had that evil gleam in her eyes, like the one she got just before a tickle fest was heading someone's way. Buffy was teasing her, she knew it!

"You're teasing Buffy! That's not fair!"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I let you stay with Will and Tara?" Buffy smiled at her sister. "Why don't you go pack a bag."

Faith started laughing, and was quickly joined by the others, while Buffy watched them confused.

"What's so funny?"

"You know for a Slayer, sometimes your powers of observation are severely lacking." Faith pointed at the bag by the stairs.

"Why you..." Buffy looked at Dawn. "You already knew I would say yes didn't you?"

"Well I kinda hoped you would." Then Dawn surprised her sister, by hugging her quickly. "Thanks."

Dawn ran over and grabbed her bag.

"Did you remember to pack your toothbrush?" _'God,'_ Buffy thought, _'I sound like Mom.'_

Dawn shook her head no, and Buffy pointed towards the stairs. Dawn rushed up them two at a time.

"Pack your travel one, not the other one." Buffy yelled up after her.

"So what are you two going to do on your Dawn free night?" Goddamn if all four of them didn't turn beet red after Willow's innocent question.

"Well Faith here has to go meet Giles for her physical therapy session for her shoulder, and of course her stamina training. Seems that Giles thinks Faith has a little problem with her stamina, as he says, _'Buffy did you notice as of late Faith seems to be quite winded after training?'_ What could I do?" Buffy couldn't stop the amusement in her tone.

"Ya coulda said no B! After all it's your fault. What do you have, radar or something? It's like you know two minutes before he's going to walk into the training room." Faith pouted.

It was like Buffy really did have radar, over the last few days right before Giles would come and check how their training was going Buffy would attack Faith, leaving her panting just when Giles walked in. They thought he was oblivious to the fact that Faith's labored breathing had nothing to do with training and everything to do with Buffy, and Buffy's hands, her mouth, just her in general. Neither Slayer knew Giles as well as they thought they did, thus his suggestion for the new addition to Faith's training routine. He might be old by their standards but he had been young once too, he was waiting to see how far they would let this go, before they told him about their relationship.

It saddened him a little that Buffy didn't feel comfortable enough to tell him about it. Or tell him about what happened between them even before this, he wished that she had. Maybe things could have turned out differently the first time if she had.

"I'm sorry baby." Buffy walked over and put her arms around the pouting Dark Slayer. "How about I make it up to you? While you're training I'll go shopping and when you get back to the Mansion I'll have dinner waiting for you... And of course dessert..." The last part was said so low and throaty that Faith felt her knees get weak, and herself get wet at the thought of just what or rather who, she would like to have for dessert.

Faith was ready to burst; a single touch from Buffy after all the days of torturous foreplay was all it would take to send her spiraling over the edge. The temperature in the room rose about a hundred degrees. Even the witches began to sweat.

"You don't play fair B." Faith groaned under her breath, as she felt Buffy's hand slide down and lightly caress her ass out of view of the witches.

"Found it! Let's go!" Dawn screamed running down the stairs.

"Hold up there a second Dawn." Buffy said, halting her sister's headlong rush out the front door. "Be good and listen to Will and Tara. Faith why don't you walk with them since you have to go to the Magic Shop anyway?" Faith didn't argue, knowing that Buffy was a little worried about Dawn being out alone even if she was with the two witches.

"Sure B," Faith stole a quick kiss, as she moved to go out the door.

Buffy stopped her for a second and said for her ears only, "Call me when you're done. I'll make sure that everything is ready when you get home."

Faith leaned back a little from Buffy and looked her directly in the eyes. Both knew without saying it, that the time was right for them to take the next step in their relationship.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I feel you ~ Your sun it shines ~ I feel you ~ Within my mind ~ You take me there...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Honey I'm home..." Faith yelled as she came through the door of the Mansion, her nervousness getting the best of her.

She didn't know why she was so nervous, it wasn't like they hadn't done this before. But she knew that wasn't true, this was different. This wasn't a _Get some, Get gone_ deal, a quick fuck in bathroom and then a see-ya-bye thing. This was different, it felt different and with all her heart, the Dark Slayer wanted it to be different.

She wanted to know what it was like to have someone touch her with love, not just lust, wanted to touch Buffy, be with Buffy in the same way. Faith was afraid she wouldn't know how, afraid she would disappoint her. What Faith didn't realize was that she had always touched Buffy that way, it had always been in her touch, in her eyes, for her it had always been more than just simple lust, she had just never given full rein to those feelings. And in a small way it always had been that way for Buffy too.

"In here," Buffy yelled from the kitchen. She kept her voice light; she was nervous, and if she knew Faith the way she thought she did, then Faith was probably a hundred times more nervous than Buffy was. She had gotten another of those weird little echoes of Faith's emotions the second Faith had come through the door.

They had always been able to sense each other's presence, sense how each other felt. But this was different, it was like she was getting a muffled version of what Faith actually felt. She needed to talk to Giles about this; there was a lot she needed to talk to Giles about. Now however, was not the time to think about that, now was the time to center her thoughts around Faith.

Buffy wanted this to be perfect. They were both like over-wound tops, it would be so easy after this week to just rush it, reduce it back to nothing but lust. The romance, the anticipation weren't new to her, this was just a little different, they had already been together, but this was something more, and Buffy wanted to make sure that she showed that to Faith.

For Buffy, tonight was all about Faith. All about showing and giving to Faith everything she should have from the beginning. They both needed to relax and Buffy had just the thing in mind, a little unfinished business one might say.

"Hey," Faith stood fidgeting by the counter.

"Hey," Buffy walked over and folded Faith into her arms. She pressed a soft kiss on the base of her neck, not quite able to stop herself from taking a quick taste of the sweat that was there. "Why don't you go shower and change while I finish in here."

Buffy gently detangled herself from Faith and gave her a light shove towards the stairs.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith walked into her bedroom shedding her clothes as she went. When she sat down on the chaise lounge, she looked around. The bedroom was clean, Buffy had cleaned her bedroom, now that she thought about it the whole Mansion was clean. While Faith wasn't dirty, she wasn't very neat either, so she reasoned, Buffy must have cleaned the Mansion.

Upon the bed there was a single white and red rose wired together, the roses were flanked by the white and black stuffed panthers Faith had won for Buffy at the fair. Faith knew that each different color rose meant something but she didn't know what. She picked them up and smelled them, she loved the smell of roses, actually all flowers, she loved flowers. Another of her well-kept _Bad Girl_ secrets. As for the panthers, she still didn't know why Buffy had wanted to keep them. She reminded herself to ask about them tonight.

She finished getting undressed, actually picking up her clothes and throwing them in the hamper. Naked she padded over to the closed bathroom door; she opened it and stopped in her tracks.

The bathroom was lit by what must have been close to fifty candles. They flickered in the slight breeze creating dancing shadows upon the marble walls. The Jacuzzi tub filled and steaming, the jets already on keeping the water warm. There was an alluring scent rising from the steaming water. Faith wasn't sure what it was, but whatever it was smelled both heavenly and sensuous at the same time. Next to the tub was a little table that hadn't been there earlier today and it was the same height as the tub, making it easy for the person in it to reach whatever they might put on it. Hanging on a hook by the tub there was a brand new deep, dark purple, almost black, silk robe. Faith touched the robe liking the feel of the silk beneath her fingers, its smooth texture, soft, and delicate. There were two very large black bath pillows, and a large, soft-looking body sponge.

_Wow! B did this for me? Wow! I wonder if she'll believe me if I tell her I need help washing my hair again?_

Faith climbed gratefully into the tub. She dunked her head under wetting her hair, then she leaned her head back resting it on one of the pillows. She relaxed into the silky, seductive heat of the oil-scented water, closing her eyes. She let herself drift off into a light sleep.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...You take me where ~ The kingdom comes ~ You take me to ~ And lead me through Babylon...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Knock. Knock." Faith opened her eyes slowly and saw a vision standing in the doorway of the bathroom. "I thought you might be thirsty or want some company."

Buffy walked into the bathroom. In her hand she carried an ice bucket with a bottle of... was that champagne in the bucket? In her other hand, she had two flute glasses with a strawberry in each. She had on a dark amber silk robe that looked exactly like the one that was hanging on the wall for Faith. Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders, she didn't have a trace of makeup on, there was a hint of mischief in her hazel eyes, and a soft sensuous smile played around her lips. Faith was speechless all she was capable of at the moment was staring at the vision before her.

"You don't mind if I join you? Do you Faith?" Her tone was light almost casual. She waited for Faith to answer her.

"N-n-n-o."

_Did I say that out loud? I did not just stutter. When did I start stuttering?_

Buffy moved closer to the side of the tub and smiled at Faith. It was a very wicked smile, a fucking downright _Cat-that-ate-the-canary _smile. A smile that made Faith shudder in anticipation.

"Good... because... you know... we never really did get to finish that last bath... Well... At least not the way I would have liked to..."

Buffy voice flowed over Faith in the same silky, seductive way the water in the bath flowed around her.

Buffy put down the ice bucket and the glasses on the table. She looked at Faith in the tub, then at where the table was, and moved it a little off to the other side. She poured champagne into each glass. Locking her eyes with Faith's she slowly untied the sash of the robe, then slid it from her to the floor. Her smile grew a little larger as Faith's eyes widen upon seeing what she had on underneath, or rather what she didn't have on underneath.

_Christ I'm gonna have a heart attack just looking at her. OHGOD!_

Buffy climbed into the tub with her, sliding down the side facing her sideways. One of her legs moved behind Faith's back, and slowly Buffy slid behind her, until she had a leg on either side of Faith. She reached out and took hold of Faith by the waist and slid her back to her, stopping when Faith's back was almost flush against her front.

The heat coming from Buffy was warmer, hotter than the water, and Faith moaned when that heat touched her. Buffy slid Faith's hips forward slightly, while gently pulling her torso back against her so that Faith was semi-reclining against her, her head leaning back upon Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy reached over and picked up a glass, handed it to Faith, and reaching back picked up the other for herself.

"Here's to us. And to you: the newest member of my family."

Faith smiled up at Buffy as she spoke. She would have liked to have said something in return but she had been rendered incapable of speech the second Buffy had gotten in the tub with her. It felt like there were two holes being burnt right through her back where Buffy's breasts touched her. The sides of her thighs felt like they were going to melt where they came into contact with Buffy's legs. She couldn't even begin to think about the slick heat that was only a few inches away from her lower back and buttocks.

"You know it's bad luck if you don't drink for a toast Faith." Buffy took a sip of champagne, and smiled at the Dark Slayer.

Faith raised her glass to her mouth but in her haste and not having a lot of experience with flute glasses, she tipped it just a little too far when it touched her lips. The strawberry came rushing towards the rim of the glass, propelling the champagne out of the glass in a river over her lips, down her chin, her neck, and ultimately headed towards her breasts.

_Shit! Goddamn it! Real fucking attractive! Suave aren't..._

Faith's thoughts trailed off as she tried to sit up to only have Buffy hold her against her as she trailed her hand up the side of Faith's neck, turning Faith's face towards her.

"Wouldn't want to waste that..." Low, throaty, and husky, Buffy's voice wrapped around Faith as her head started to lower.

Beginning with Faith's lips Buffy began to lick up every bit of spilled champagne. Lingering, teasing with the promise of a deeper kiss. But these kisses were only meant to promise, to tempt, to tease. She trailed her way down Faith's chin, licking, nipping, coming back up to her mouth murmuring under her breath something about missing a spot. Her hand tangled in Faith's hair keeping her turned towards her, and Faith pressed tightly to her.

Buffy's other hand, which had magically put down her own glass came up to capture the champagne that had managed to make its way to Faith's breasts. While her lips moved lower to find the sweet champagne that had dripped down the Dark Slayer's neck. Her mouth slid up to behind Faith's ear, remembering the sensitive spot she had found during the last bath. She scraped her teeth along it with slightly more pressure repeatedly, then used her tongue to soothe the tender spot.

Faith moaned so low and deep that Buffy actually felt it vibrate through her.

Faith tried to turn in Buffy's embraced, but Buffy stopped her.

"Stay. Just stay like this."

"B. I..."

"Just let me touch you. I've thought about touching you all day... Just thinking about it... I had to stop myself from..."

"From what B?" Faith barely managed to get out because Buffy's hand was once again moving on her breast. Swirling the champagne around her nipple, the sides of her fingers brushing against Faith's nipple but not really touching it.

"I had to stop myself from... touching myself just at the thought of you..." Buffy breathed into Faith's ear, eliciting another moan from the Dark Slayer at the thought of Buffy touching herself.

"You like that idea Faith?" Buffy laughed softly in her ear.

Was there a promise in that question?

Faith never got a chance to answer because Buffy's mouth came down on hers in a kiss that seared the Dark Slayer.

Buffy's tongue ravaged Faith's mouth. Plunging into Faith's mouth forcefully, banishing any coherent thoughts. Buffy dominated the kiss, dueling with Faith's tongue, opening her mouth even wider as if to swallow the Dark Slayer whole. Then she was pulling back from the kiss, and began to tease Faith again. With light touches of her lips upon Faith's, running her tongue along their outline, sneaking in to taste quickly, pulling back every time Faith tried to deepen the kiss. Catching her bottom lip between her teeth, nibbling on it, sucking it into her mouth, and running her tongue along it.

Every touch of Buffy's mouth on her was sending sparks of desire right from Faith's mouth straight down to her core. Faith could already feel her insides clutching, feel tiny spasms rippling through her. Almost like little aftershocks, no one had ever made her feel like this. This heat, this smoldering desire, Faith knew if she wasn't in the water right now, her desire would be dripping down the insides of her thighs, making them just as wet, as her center was right now. Still she didn't want this delicious torture to stop.

Faith tried again to turn around in Buffy's arms. Buffy broke off kissing Faith. This time instead of stopping Faith, Buffy moved her slightly off to her side so that now she was reclining up against one of the bath pillows instead of her. Leaving one of her legs behind Faith, she brought the other over the top of both of Faith's, bending it slightly.

Then she put her hand on Faith's hips and slid Faith closer to her, not stopping until the side of Faith's thigh and buttock were flush against the scorching heat of her own center. Even through the water, Faith could feel how wet Buffy was. Once again, Faith reached out to touch Buffy and Buffy once again stopped her.

"No. Just lean back, relax and let me spoil you. I want to spoil you. Will you let me?" The smile Buffy gave Faith was so endearing, so sincere that Faith didn't know how she could say no.

Spoil her? No one had ever wanted to spoil her. She wasn't a sit-back-and-spoil-me kind of girl. Faith wasn't sure if she even would know how to let someone spoil her. That didn't stop her from nodding yes anyway, totally caught up in the web of desire that Buffy was spinning around her.

"Good. Now just lean back and relax. Let me take care of everything."

Buffy grabbed the champagne out of the ice bucket, reaching over Faith, she refilled the glass that Faith was amazingly enough still holding, clutched in a death grip, and thankfully hadn't crushed.

Faith hissed through her teeth when the ice-cold condensation on the side of the bottle dripped onto her breasts; making her nipples harder, if that was even at all possible.

"Ooops! Sorry," there was an impish tone to Buffy's voice.

She quickly put down the bottle. Then her hot mouth was just as quickly on Faith's breast lapping up the cold drops and licking off the sticky champagne that had trailed there from before. She ran her tongue round and round Faith's nipple, occasionally in an almost absentminded way flicking the hard bud. Again, that odd echo came to Buffy. This time it was Faith's need, her passion, desire, lust, all of it and Buffy felt her own body responding to it.

She lifted her head and smiled again at Faith. She took the glass of champagne from her and took a large sip before putting it down on the table. Faith didn't notice however that she didn't swallow the champagne.

Buffy lowered her head down to Faith's breast once again. She wrapped her lips around her nipple, and Faith arched her back, thrusting her breast further into Buffy's mouth, as the ice-cold champagne warred with the heat of Buffy's tongue as it mercilessly lashed her nipple. Her hand came up to tangle in Buffy's hair holding her there, while Buffy's hands began to run teasing patterns all over her body, everywhere but where Faith needed to be touched.

Buffy caught Faith's nipple between her teeth biting on it gently and pulling on it, letting the champagne seep out around it. One of her hands came up running along Faith's neck to her mouth, tracing it with her fingertips, until Faith caught them with her teeth, sucking them deep into her mouth, running her tongue along their length. She moaned Faith's name biting down harder than she wanted causing the Dark Slayer to gasp out in pleasure that bordered on pain. She trailed her mouth and tongue up Faith's chest over her collarbone, back to the sensitive spot behind her ear again. Biting and dragging her teeth over it, licking at the tender area, causing little ripples of desire to shoot down to Faith's throbbing center. She lifted her head and saw the mark she had left. In a very primitive way, it pleased her that even with Faith's Slayer healing the mark would still be there tomorrow.

Buffy withdrew her fingers from Faith's mouth slowly exploring on her way Faith's soft mouth and skin, as her fingers trailed down. She ran her fingers down over the Dark Slayer's skin, raked her nails down over her neck, to the hollow between her breasts then up and over one, around to the other.

"Mmmmm sticky... Need to fix that." Buffy leaned into Faith and reaching over her took the large soft body sponge and a bottle of liquid soap. She paused to rub her breasts over Faith's body and smiled at Faith's gasp.

Leaning back against the tub Buffy dipped the sponge into the water, pouring soap onto it. Before she had a chance to stop her, Faith's mouth was on her breast. Buffy's nipple caught between her teeth as the tip of Faith's tongue flicked across it. Her teeth pulling on it, drawing it further out of her body.

"Faith!" Buffy felt Faith smile around her nipple as she arched her body into Faith's hot mouth.

Faith groaned as she felt Buffy's slick center thrust into her side, sliding along her body. This was torture, delicious, but torture. She felt Buffy start to run the sponge over her back and shoulders, the combination of the soft, but slightly coarse sponge sending tingling sensations down her spine.

Then Buffy was gently but firmly pulling Faith away from her breast. God only knew where she found the strength to do it, but she did. She smiled sweetly at the confused looking Dark Slayer as she pushed her back to recline once again against the bath pillow.

"Spoil you. Want to spoil you. You said I could," Buffy pouted out.

Picking up one of Faith's hands Buffy began to bathe the Dark Slayer, taking her time with each of her fingers, lightly washing them with the sponge, washing first the palm of her hand, then the back. Running the sponge up the outside of her forearm than over to the inside to the sensitive skin there, applying a little more pressure against the skin, leaving little streaks of fire in its wake.

As Buffy worked her way up Faith's arm she followed the sponge with her other hand, caressing and massaging, dragging her nails or using just her fingertips on Faith's skin. By the time Buffy had worked her way across Faith's shoulders to her other arm, Faith felt an answering flush of heat, her insides clutching with every light touch of the sponge, at every almost nonexistent touch of Buffy's hand, her fingers, her nails against her skin.

Buffy slid the sponge down towards Faith's breasts, and smiled as Faith rose up to meet the sponge. She slid her leg out from behind Faith, and brought her other leg back over and between Faith's legs without once losing contact with her.

She rose to her knees and sat back resting on the Dark Slayer's thigh. A soft moan escaped her as her heat came into contact with Faith's thigh. Unable to help herself she rocked against Faith's firm thigh, sliding easily from both her own wetness and the bath oil in the water.

Faith ran her hands down Buffy's body, returning the same exquisite torture that Buffy had been inflicting on her. One hand went up to capture a firm breast, to trace along it, learning its shape and texture, faintly running her fingertips over just the top of Buffy's nipple. Her other hand slid down Buffy's stomach, circling around her belly button, then sliding down to the curls right above her heat. Her thumb moved down and began a slow circular motion on Buffy's pelvic bone right at the base of the skin that covered Buffy's clit.

"Oh God Faith!" It came out as a strangled cry.

Buffy leaned forward again, and started to run the sponge over Faith's breast, her other hand playing with Faith's throbbing nipple, rolling it between her fingers, pinching it, then soothing it with her fingertips. She switched the sponge to her other hand and gave the same treatment to Faith's other breast, while continuing to ride the Dark Slayer's thigh.

Then Buffy was sliding away and out of Faith's reach, while she still had some control left. She ran the sponge down the Dark Slayer's stomach, as she brought her other leg over Faith's nudging her until she was kneeling between them. Buffy slid a little further back and lifted one of Faith's legs from the water. She placed Faith's foot flat on her chest, and ran the sponge down the outside of Faith's leg, while her hand ran down the inside. Tracing delicate little patterns, moving closer to Faith's core, teasingly coming close, brushing against her folds, then up and around, skipping lightly over her clit then back down the inside of her thigh.

Faith's head was thrown back on the pillow, her breath coming in short little pants. She was whimpering with need, her whole body was throbbing, her insides clutching, quivering. Then Buffy's fingertips lightly brushed over her clit again and Faith arched up out of the water, seeking Buffy's touch, which was already gone.

"B! Please! Can't take it anymore..." Buffy ignored her, lowering Faith's leg and bringing her other one up to replace it.

She switched the sponge to the other hand and ran it up the inside of the lowered leg to finally come to rest on the Dark Slayer's core not moving, and Faith once again arched up out of the water rising herself into the sponge, desperate now for any kind of pressure.

"Ohgodohgodplease," she mumbled, whimpered, pleaded.

Buffy stroked the sponge, once, twice over the Faith's slick center, and then over and under her thigh to the outside, her other hand trailing close behind. Her fingers thrust once quickly into the Dark Slayer and then were just as quickly gone.

"Cruel. You're cruel, B." Faith moaned. She didn't know how much longer she could take this, Buffy had been teasing her for god only knew how long, but it felt like days.

Faith tried to sit up again only to be pushed gently back down. Buffy dropped the sponge into the water and slid her hand up to Faith's ankle, brought it up and placed it on her shoulder. She leaned down towards Faith as Faith's leg hooked over her shoulder, and began torturing her breasts again.

Faith clutched Buffy's head to her, thrusting her breast harder into Buffy's mouth. She was keening under her breath, moaning low in her throat, almost growling at Buffy. Her hips were bucking up trying to get any kind of pressure on her core, but Buffy was still withholding herself from her. Buffy was flicking her tongue rapidly back and forth over her nipple and it was sending an electric bolt straight to her core.

Then Buffy was sliding up her body, her breasts blazing a trail, rubbing over Faith's and then her mouth was on her again. Faith's own thigh was pressed against her chest, with her free hand she held Buffy to her tightly, rubbing her breasts against Buffy's desperate for any kind of contact. Her hip rhythmically pushing up into Buffy, but it wasn't enough.

Faith sucked Buffy's tongue into her mouth, moaning Buffy's name. Buffy's mouth went wild on hers, her tongue took possession of her mouth, dominating the wet, wide-open kiss. Exploring every inch of Faith's mouth, grazing her teeth, her gums, pulling back to run her tongue along Faith's lips again, then kissing along her jaw line and up to Faith's ear, grabbing her lobe between her teeth and biting it.

"Easy baby..." Buffy whispered low in her ear, sending a shudder through Faith.

Buffy leaned back, sitting on her calves, she started running her hands over Faith's body again in random patterns, never staying anywhere for too long. Using light touches, then rough, sometimes the whole of her hands, sometimes just her fingertips, her nails. Over Faith's arms, her breasts, her neck, her face, her legs, her slick hot center, her clit, and Faith began to tremble, as Buffy teased and tormented her.

"TouchmeBpleaseohplease..." Faith began chanting under her breath between gasps.

Finally, Buffy's hand came to rest against her core and again Faith surged up out of the water hard against her hand, her leg falling off Buffy's shoulder.

Buffy's fingers moved excruciatingly slow, and so lightly over Faith's slick center, along the folds of her core, tracing along the outside of them over and around her clit. Thrusting shallowly into the Dark Slayer who bucked again trying to get Buffy's fingers in her deeper.

There was a raging inferno streaking through every cell of Faith's body, her skin oversensitive to even the movement of the water flowing around her. No one had ever made her feel like this before, even Buffy. Buffy brought her up the crest, holding her there. Then Buffy eased her back down. Teasing her, taking her up the hill again then back down. Her fingers never stopped their exploration, thrusting shallowly, her other hand on Faith's stomach keeping her from bucking up to high, and getting her fingers in her deeper. The fire in the pit of Faith's stomach continued to build, spreading and fanning out to every part of her body.

Buffy watched Faith, bringing her up to the edge over and over, but denying her release. She was getting those echoes of Faith's sensations again, and Buffy rose with her each time. Gently she thrust one finger into the Dark Slayer and felt her walls clutch tightly around her.

"Beeeeeeeeee! Oh God!"

Buffy started a slow and steady rhythm, building up the tension in Faith again. Cooing to her, knowing this wasn't enough to send her over, keeping her there on the brink.

"Sssh... not yet, baby..." Buffy whispered to her stopping the motion of her hand.

"I can't B... I can't..."

"Yes you can..." Then Buffy started up the rhythm again adding another finger, as Faith's hips kept pace with her...

"Can't take anymore. Bohgodohgodpleasecan'ttakeit..." The hand on Faith's stomach slid down stopping just above Faith's curls.

Buffy's slid her fingers out of Faith, and started teasing her again running them along her folds, while her other hand, her fingers slid down and brushed lightly, so lightly, along the length of Faith's clit. Faith's heart was beating frantically, as the fire in her continued to get hotter...

Steadily Buffy applied pressure to the Dark Slayer's clit. She thrust three finger into Faith hard and deep, her other hand circling her clit pressing down harder. As Faith's hips rose up and she pushed herself harder onto Buffy's thrusting fingers. Buffy plunged her fingers into Faith faster, pinching her clit, catching it between her fingers sliding her fingers over and around it.

"B! God I...can't... BBBBB I'm gonna... OHGODBOHGODBBBBB!"

Buffy felt the first contraction around her fingers as Faith's orgasm hit her. She went wild on the Dark Slayer's center as Faith screamed out her name thrashing.

Faith's orgasm overtook her like a tornado she felt it with every part of her body and Buffy went wild on her, dragging it out and when it was starting to slow Faith felt Buffy's fingers curled up inside her searching for and finding her sweet spot.

When she felt Faith's orgasm begin to ebb, she curled her fingers up and found Faith's sweet spot, circling it, feeling it swell beneath her fingertips. Her other hand went wild on Faith's clit again, pinching, rubbing, circling, pressing down hard. Then Faith was screaming her name again as Buffy felt the contractions from the second orgasm clench her fingers tightly, and the Dark Slayer trembled from head to toe pushing herself forcefully into, onto Buffy's fingers driving them in deeper, holding them tightly inside her. Buffy stayed with her drawing the climax out until Faith collapsed, her body slowly sinking back down into the water.

Carefully she withdrew her fingers and slid her body up Faith's and gathered her into her arms, holding Faith close to her, pressed up against her chest, pressed to her heart. She smiled softly as Faith's arms came round to hold her tightly to her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They stayed holding each other in the water for a time. Buffy's body screaming in need, Faith lying exhausted against her chest. They had to move sooner or later, though neither of them wanted to.

"Faith?"

"Hmmmm."

"You okay baby? I did't hurt you, did I?"

"No! No way. Never felt like this before. No one ever..."

Faith lifted herself from Buffy and looked at that beautiful face. She didn't know if she could even explain to her how she had made her feel. No one had ever made her feel like that. No one had even come close. Not even Buffy. No one had ever been that unselfish with her before. Always before, it had been about getting off and getting gone. Even between them it had only been about that. Yes, they had teased each other but it had been different, Faith couldn't explain it but different.

For the first time ever Faith had come close to actually giving up complete and total control to someone else. Almost releasing that part of herself that she still kept safely locked away, since she was very young, even just now with Buffy. But after this she didn't know if she would be able to again, and for the first time Faith actually thought that she could give up that control and take the final steps in giving Buffy her complete trust.

"I'm hungry. How about you?"

Faith just nodded at Buffy, still trying to sort out all she was feeling. Buffy drew her up out of the water, releasing the plug from the drain first. Holding Faith to her as the water drained around them. Releasing Faith from her embrace Buffy turned on the water once again then switched it to the showerhead so they could rinse the soap and the bath oil from their bodies.

Faith came up behind Buffy when she straightened back up, embracing her from behind. Buffy leaned back into her, despite herself her body trembled and shuddered as she felt the full length of Faith's body pressing into her from behind.

Faith rubbed her breasts against Buffy's back and incredibly, felt herself getting wet, as the passion rose up in her again. She felt Buffy trembling in her arms, and got one of those odd little echoes from Buffy, the heat, the desire, the lust Buffy was feeling for her, the fact that Buffy was painfully close to going over the edge just from the feel of her pressed into her back.

The echoes of emotions that she'd been getting, and that Buffy had been getting from her over the last week were more than just their Slayer connection, but Faith was distracted from dwelling on it by the quivering golden-haired Slayer in her arms. There would be plenty of time later; right now there was something else, someone else, which required her attention.

Buffy's knees almost give out on her as Faith slid her hands up from her waist to capture her breasts. Her fingers sliding up and around the aureoles that surround her nipples, glancing over them in an almost casual way. Her head fell back upon the Dark Slayer's shoulder and Faith was quick to take advantage of her exposed throat.

The feel of Faith's mouth hot and wet as it slid along her throat making her moan low and long. Buffy could feel her own wetness dripping down the insides of her thighs. Touching and teasing Faith for so long was a double-edged sword. Touching Faith had excited Buffy almost as much as it had excited Faith, and that odd sharing of emotions, sensations that was happening between them only added to that excitement.

Faith's hands were tormenting her nipples, rolling them between her fingers, tugging on them, flicking her fingers across them, sometimes roughly, sometimes with almost nonexistent touches. Her mouth on Buffy's neck and throat, sliding her tongue down to her pulse point, sucking it, biting, nipping, scraping her teeth along it. She shifted Buffy slightly so now the pulsating spray of the showerhead added its caress to Faith's roaming hands. The water beat down on Buffy's neck, chest, breasts, and stomach. The warmth of it and Faith's hands sending currents of electricity throughout her body.

Buffy pressed herself back harder into Faith's body, one of her hands reaching behind her to run the length of Faith's thigh. She was panting like she had just run a marathon, her whole body quivering in need. Her insides clutching convulsively, she needed Faith to touch her. She doubted it would take more than a touch or two of Faith's hand upon her center for her to go headlong over the edge.

"Faith please..." already pleading.

Buffy felt Faith smile against her neck, her own breathing none too even. One hand slid down Buffy's stomach to rest just above the curls that hid her sex. She began to rotate her hips in a circular motion from behind, with each circular motion the tips of her fingers brushed against the base of Buffy's clit, in a touch that was lighter than air.

With each light touch, Buffy felt an answering pulse in her core, a clutching of her muscles.

Faith's other hand was roaming over Buffy's breasts, neck and stomach. Using her nails, she delicately traced little paths of fire over Buffy's body.

Buffy could feel her excitement coiling tighter and tighter in the pit of her stomach; little shocks of pleasure were running through her body. Even with this light touch, she was close to falling over the edge.

She brought her own hand over Faith's. She intertwined her fingers with Faith's and slowly started to slide both their hands down into her dripping center.

"Jesus B! You're so wet!" Faith groaned out and watched with fascination as both of their hands moved into Buffy's slick center. Faith felt her own desire begin to drip down the insides of her thighs. At the rate they were going, they would never leave the bathroom.

"Faith! God baby!" Buffy moaned and surged up hard into both of their hands. She slid her other hand behind her and in between their bodies, finding without a problem Faith's own hot core. She let out another moan upon feeling just how wet Faith was too.

Buffy was guiding Faith's hand upon her, while her other hand duplicated exactly what she and Faith were both doing to her own core.

Buffy slid both their hands further into her center, pressing both their fingers into her, with her other hand she pressed her thumb into Faith's clit starting a quick circular motion. Moaning as she felt Faith duplicate it upon her own clit, she felt Faith driving harder into her hand from behind, Faith's breath hot and erratic in her ear.

Buffy slid her hand away from Faith's running up to caress her arm, as Faith plunged her fingers into her. She thought briefly about turning around but the thought flew from her mind as Faith's fingers ran along her dripping slit to her clit capturing it, running along its length, flicking, stroking.

"YES! Right there! Don't stop!" Buffy was driving into Faith's hand as hard as she could, with her free hand she reached out, placing it on the marble wall.

Her other hand became rougher on Faith's clit, her wrist and hand beginning to hurt from this odd angle they had managed to get themselves into. Faith was chanting her name under her breath, driving herself into Buffy's hand for all she was worth, incredulous that she could feel this way again so soon after the two previous earth-shattering orgasms Buffy had given her.

"Faith... baby oh god... I'm gonnacumFaithdon'tstop..." Buffy chanted between pants.

Her orgasm hit her hard and fast, overtaking her like a freight train. She let out a high-pitched scream, as Faith held onto her tightly around the waist as her whole body convulsed. Faith's finger pinching, pressing harder into her clit, milking Buffy's climax, slamming her own hips harder into Buffy's hand, grinding herself against Buffy's fingers on her clit. At the same time, getting those muffled echoed sensations of Buffy's orgasm, and she felt herself climaxing around those fingers and with Buffy, feeling the intensity of both her own orgasm and the echo of Buffy's at the same time. Groaning out Buffy's name as the fire raced through her. Holding them both up as she felt Buffy's legs give out.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Would you mind lighting the candles baby?"

Faith looked around the living room which had too many candles to count scattered throughout the room. She was awed again, all this for her? Buffy must have run around like a lunatic setting all of this up when she had gone upstairs to shower.

Over by the fireplace, there were huge throw pillows the kind you could lean back against and recline on with a small low table like a Japanese restaurant would have. The table was already set with glasses, plates and candles.

Cleaning, shopping, cooking, Faith was blown away, and inexplicably, after all that had just happened between them in the bathroom, she felt a case of shyness coming over her. No one ever had gone to this much trouble for her. It was almost overwhelming, she had seen glimpses of this side of Buffy. Glimpses since they had returned to Sunnydale from L.A. and before when she had been here the first time those few short years ago, but nothing had prepared her for this.

Buffy peeked out from the kitchen and saw Faith just standing in the middle of the living room with an almost awed, dazed, look on her face. Picking up the kitchen matches, she walked silently over to her and wrapped her arms around the Dark Slayer from behind, her chin resting on Faith's shoulder.

"Thought you might need these," Buffy held out the matches in front of Faith, who took them from her. "Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes. So why don't you light the candles and then go sit and relax. You probably figured out that we'll be eating in front of the fireplace. 'K?" Buffy released Faith, but not before placing a light kiss on her neck.

"'K," Faith turned and caught Buffy up in a tight bear hug before she could get more than a step away from her. Buffy's arms came back around her, holding Faith just as tightly. Faith reluctantly released her after a minute and set about lighting all the candles.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Dinner is served!"

Faith couldn't help but laugh at the size of the tray Buffy was carrying loaded down and piled high with food. There looked to be enough food for about ten people. They were going to need three jobs each just to be able to afford to feed them both.

"No stay there, I've got it under control." Buffy told Faith when she started to rise from the floor. Buffy placed the tray carefully upon the low table, and was proud that she managed not to knock anything off. She ran back into the kitchen and came back with another ice bucket with champagne.

"I thought we would try Japanese tonight," Buffy said as she sat down to the left of the Dark Slayer.

"Wow B, this looks great. I can't believe you made all of this." Faith looked at the tray, which was loaded with lobster, filet mignon, tempura, shrimp, chicken, and other food that she didn't recognize. There appeared to be a variety of sauces to dip everything in as well.

"Well... I... um... didn't exactly make it." It came out a low mumble.

"What?"

"I didn't exactly make it... I kinda bought it... I just heated it up... I really can't cook and I didn't want to go out to dinner and I didn't want burgers you know... so I ordered it..."

"It doesn't matter, it's great! And you did all this other stuff. I mean you cleaned the Mansion. The bath..." Faith felt herself blushing, and she suddenly got nervous and shy all over again. "And a... the candles and... the roses... I like flowers... did I ever tell you that... no probably not... and all of this... No one's ever done anything like this for me before. I don't even know how to begin to thank you and I'm babbling just like Red and I think I'll stop now. Except what's with the panthers B?" This time Faith watched as Buffy started to blush.

"The panthers?"

"The panthers, you know the ones on the bed. The black and white stuffed panthers. The two I won for you at the fai..." Suddenly it became clear why Buffy wanted to keep them. A big goofy grin slowly spread over Faith's face and she watched as Buffy's face turned a little redder because she knew that Faith had finally figured out why.

"They're us! Aren't they? They remind you of us, don't they B? The Light and Dark Slayer, the light and dark panthers! I'm right aren't I? Aren't I B?" The goofy grin grew a little bigger, and Buffy couldn't help but give one in return to Faith, she sounded like a little kid who just discovered where the candy was hidden.

"Guilty as charged."

"But why the panthers B? There were other light and dark stuffed animals." Faith was surprised to see Buffy blush all over again.

_Hmmmm. Want to know this..._

In her effort to find out why Buffy picked the panthers Faith was forgetting about being nervous and shy.

Now it was Buffy's turn to babble.

"Just cause. I liked them. They're cute. Real cute ya know. Like cats. Really like them."

"Not gonna work this time. I want to know why... Remember what happened last time when you wouldn't tell." That evil gleam suddenly appeared in Faith's eyes.

"Okay. Okay. I'll tell. Well... you see..." With each word, Buffy's voice got a little husker, sending a shudder of desire through the Dark Slayer. "I wanted to keep them because of you. Because you... when I think of you... You remind me of one... All sleek and smooth. Muscular, but soft in a way. The way your muscles seem to almost ripple under your skin when you move, the way they feel under my hands... The way you are wild and untamed but still cuddly in a way... The way you move so sensuously and gracefully... The heat that comes from you... The way you almost purr, or sometimes growl when we..." Buffy trailed off, taking a page from Faith's book of late and becoming suddenly shy.

Faith was blown away again. She hadn't expected that answer, not that she didn't like it. Funny thing was she kind of always thought of Buffy that way too.

Buffy could swear that Faith was purring now, and she was certainly puffing out her chest, sort of like a peacock displaying its colors. It was damn cute. She was arching her eyebrow at Buffy waiting for her to continue.

"Oh no. That's it; if I tell you anything else I'm going to have to get you all new hats to fit that ego of yours in Faith." Faith pouted at her. "Not gonna work." Buffy decided to change the topic. "I'm hungry. aren't you?"

Faith smirked at her, knowing exactly what Buffy was doing. And Buffy caught a glimpse of the wild child that Faith had been when they first met. It was a different wild child to be sure, but still the same and Buffy had to admit she missed that part of Faith, and was glad that she was finally letting her out again.

Buffy handed a pair of chopsticks to Faith and picked up a pair for herself.

"What is all this stuff B?"

"Well there's lobster, shrimp, filet mignon and... Well I'm not really sure... I ordered it but... I guess we'll find out together."

Faith watched Buffy as she used the chopsticks to pick up a piece of lobster. She had never tried using chopsticks, but hell, how hard could it be? She put one chopstick between her index and middle finger, the other she held with her thumb and ring finger then she tried to pick up a piece of food. She got it halfway to her mouth before it fell, the chopsticks crossing. She tried again, this time she couldn't even pick up anything. She looked up and saw that Buffy was smiling at her, a smile that bordered on a smirk.

Buffy watched Faith wondering how long it was going to take before she would ask for help or at least a fork. She was having fun teasing her and Faith knew it, which meant she would be stubborn about it. So the dinner wasn't going exactly how she had planned but they had finally managed to relax with each other. Buffy supposed the bath had a little to do with it, and the bantering, the teasing between them was lighter, like it was always meant to be.

Faith was watching Buffy watch her, and she knew Buffy was waiting for her to ask for help, but she wasn't going to. She was being stubborn, she knew it, and damn if she wasn't hungry and Buffy just kept on eating watching her.

Faith watched Buffy, as she picked up a piece of lobster, dipped it into some butter and brought it up to her mouth. Buffy's lips glistening from the butter and Faith's thoughts turned to a different type of hunger. She licked her own lips thinking about licking the butter from Buffy's. She saw as Buffy's gaze lowered to her mouth, and how she licked her own lips in response, and when Buffy raised her eyes back up to Faith's, they were filled with a burning hot desire.

Faith smiled slowly and stabbed a piece of lobster with a single chopstick following Buffy's lead she dipped it into the butter and brought it up slowly to her mouth, Buffy's eyes never wavered from Faith's mouth.

Buffy put down her own chopsticks and rose up to her knees. She smiled as Faith's eyes grew a little larger, as they dipped down quickly to where the silk robe opened exposing part of Buffy's breast. Buffy scooted over until she was behind Faith and leaned down to her, her breath warm against Faith's ear.

"Why don't you let me show you how to use those..." A shiver went down Faith's spine as Buffy breathed in her ear, at the husky tone of her voice, at the feel of her breasts brushing lightly against her back, as a different kind of hunger coiled in the lower regions of her body.

Buffy scooted in a little closer to Faith. She leaned further into Faith's back and ran her hand down the length of Faith's arm, taking the single chopstick from Faith's now nerveless fingers. She picked up the other chopstick from the table and reached around until she was basically hugging the Dark Slayer from behind; switching the chopsticks to her other hand.

Buffy intertwined their hands and placed the chopsticks correctly between both their fingers.

"Ready to give this a try again?" Buffy leaned fully into Faith's back as together they reached down to pick up a piece of lobster from the tray.

Faith couldn't help the low moan that escaped her as Buffy pressed herself fully against her back. Food was the last thing on the Dark Slayer's mind at this moment. Together they dipped the lobster into the butter and with Buffy guiding both of their hands brought it up to the Dark Slayer's mouth.

"Good?" Faith shuddered as Buffy's breath tickled her ear and her lips brushed against it.

Together they leaned down again and pick up a piece of filet as Buffy lightly placed kisses along the side of Faith's neck. Buffy continued to help the Dark Slayer all the while placing light kisses along her neck and jaw line, along her exposed shoulder, sliding herself lightly against Faith's back. Her other hand rested on Faith's stomach her thumb rubbing in a slightly circular motion.

Faith turned a little and captured Buffy's mouth with her own. The kiss was light, just mouth upon mouth, lips caressing lips, a slow, sensuous sliding of tongues. Faith turned further into Buffy, still kissing her lightly as the chopsticks fell from their hands forgotten to the floor.

Finally they broke apart both a little breathless, they stared at the other in a little bit of wide-eyed wonder.

The moment was broken by Buffy's stomach rumbling, which turned into a very loud growl. She had spent the whole day running around trying to get everything ready that she had forgotten to eat. Not eating with their Slayer metabolism was not an option, and something their bodies did not let them forget. Both Slayers started laughing in shared understanding.

Faith picked up the chopsticks from the floor looked at them and then tossed them aside and rasped out to Buffy, "Why don't we try this my way?"

Without giving Buffy a chance to react, Faith pulled her down and across her lap so that Buffy was sitting next to her, her legs across the Dark Slayer's. Faith leaned forward and slid the low table closer to her. This time it was Faith who pushed Buffy back against the pillows.

"Relax. I don't bite." At Buffy's arched eyebrow Faith conceded, "Okay... Well... maybe sometimes I do."

"Hmmmm... So many things to choose from..." Faith dipped her finger into one of the sauces and brought it up to her mouth for a taste. She ran her finger the length of her mouth before dipping it inside, slowly removing it, then running the tip of her tongue around her lips to gather up the sauce she had only seconds ago put there. Faith repeated the action with the other six sauces making a show of it for Buffy, while Buffy watched her with an amused and hungry look on her face.

She reached over, picked up a piece of lobster, thoroughly dipped it into one of the thicker sweeter brown sauces and brought it carefully up to Buffy's mouth. Buffy took the lobster from Faith's fingers, at the same time trying to capture those fingers, Faith denied her that particular pleasure. It was her turn to tease Buffy and from the look on her face, she was determined.

Faith continued to feed both Buffy and herself, with her free hand she ran random patterns over Buffy's neck and shoulders starting a slow burning ache in Buffy.

Buffy lifted her hand up to wipe away a little of the sauce that had dripped down the corner of her mouth, only to have Faith stop her rising hand.

"Let me..." Faith ran her thumb along Buffy's bottom lip, wiping up the sauce, then brought her thumb back to her own mouth and licked off the sauce there.

"Yummm... Tastes good. Think I want more..." Then Faith was leaning down towards her, and Buffy held her breath waiting for her kiss.

Faith's kiss was soft, slow, tender and sensuous. More akin to the light caress of a summer breeze. It caused an ache in Buffy like never before. A wanting to be a part of someone in a way that she couldn't even begin to describe, couldn't even fathom how to wrap words around.

Buffy returned Faith's kiss, giving herself totally over to the Dark Slayer, in a way that she had never given herself to anyone else. There was something different about this kiss, there was passion in the kiss, but for the first time they were both kissing each other with love.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...This is just the morning of our love ~ It's just the dawning of our love...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They finished the rest of the food on the tray continuing to feed each other. When it was all gone, they cleaned up and Buffy put on a pot of coffee, while Faith started a fire. They were both still a little bit dazed by the kiss they shared, perhaps realizing for the first time all that they really meant to the other.

Buffy realizing that what she had felt before, even for Angel, was pale in comparison to what she felt for Faith.

And Faith who had thought she was in love with Buffy two years ago realizing that what she felt then hadn't even come close, bore absolutely no resemblance to what she felt now.

Both Slayers were suddenly feeling shy around the other; both knew it was kind of silly considering all that had happened between them. Knowing didn't stop them from feeling that way anyway.

Buffy walked back into the living room and stopped to look at Faith. She was sitting back away from the fireplace by the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them. Her chin was resting atop her knees and she was staring into the fire across the room.

Buffy set the coffee mugs down on the floor and sat down behind Faith drawing her back into her embrace. Faith relaxed back into her with a contented sigh, loving the feel of Buffy's arms around her. They sat that way for a while both content, staring into the fire and basking in the warmth of the other.

"Thank you for all of this," Faith whispered softly to Buffy.

"You're welcome," Buffy leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Faith's neck, and felt Faith tremble slightly.

Buffy gently withdrew her arms from around Faith and rose up to her feet. She moved to stand in front of Faith, holding her hand out to her, helping the Dark Slayer to her feet. Gently, lightly she ran her hand down the side of Faith's face, smiling at her, looking deep into her eyes. Buffy walked them over to the fireplace where the dark plush throw carpet lay, with the soft large pillows.

"I want to make love with you."

Faith's whole being soared with joy at Buffy's softly spoken words. Somehow, something was different; the feeling between them was different. Different even from two hours ago, she wasn't sure how, she just knew.

"I want that too."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...I feel you ~ Your heart it sings ~ I feel you ~ The joy it brings ~ Where heaven waits ~ Those golden gates ~ And back again ~ You take me to ~ And lead me through oblivion ~ This is just the morning of our love ~ It's just the dawning of our love...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy's hands slid down to untie the sash of Faith's robe. As light as air they glided back up to push the silk robe from her shoulders to the ground. Her eyes wandered lazily over Faith, as Faith removed the silk robe from her, Faith's own eyes performing the same lazy inspection of Buffy's body.

"My God Faith, you are beautiful."

"I'm not the one that's beautiful B. You are." Faith said earnestly, sincerely.

Buffy watched as shadows reached out from the fire and danced across Faith. There was an almost otherworldly look about her. There were times when Buffy looked at Faith that she could see the innocence in her, see how young she was in some ways, see the unguarded side of Faith, the part of Faith that even now she kept locked away from Buffy, this was one of those times.

"No, Faith you are beautiful. I don't just mean on the outside. You're beautiful where it truly counts. Here..." Buffy placed her hand over Faith's heart. "Don't let anyone, not yourself, not me, ever tell you any differently."

"If I am like that it's because I learned it from you Buffy."

They smiled at each other knowing that neither of them would win this argument. Buffy brought Faith into her embrace and they stood holding each other, luxuriating in the feel of bare thighs against thighs, stomach against stomach, breasts against breasts, the softness and hardness of both of their bodies, the silky feel of each other's skin. Buffy began to run lazy trails over Faith's back and buttocks with her fingertips. Loving the way the goose bumps rose on the Dark Slayer's skin wherever she touched her.

Faith placed soft kisses along Buffy's neck and shoulders, running her tongue up to Buffy's ear, to run along the outside of it, causing Buffy to shudder in her arms. Then they were sinking down to the soft rug, to recline on the pillows, lying on their sides facing each other, legs entwining.

They leaned towards each other in a gentle kiss, which soon turned more passionate, caressing each other with light teases of their tongues, nibbling upon each other's lips. Building the passion between them slowly, their hands upon each other gentle, soft, light, teasing. Buffy gently rolled Faith over onto her back and followed her until she was lying on top of her.

She placed airy kisses all over the Dark Slayer's face, her fingertips following the path of her mouth. Risings up to her elbows supporting herself, Buffy trailed her mouth down, still with the light as air kisses, with tender touches of her tongue upon Faith's neck, eliciting little gasps of pleasure from her. Trailing feathery kisses over every part of Faith's skin, down her shoulders, down each arm, lightly to nip the sensitive skin on the inside of Faith's forearm, receiving a low moan of pleasure from Faith in return. Kissing the tips of each of the raven-haired Slayer's fingers, bringing each one into her mouth to taste and suck on gently. Down over her chest, to caress and kiss each breast with her hands, with her lips, with her tongue, each touch still feather light, each touch given with love.

Sliding down slowly to Faith's stomach, lying between her legs, her hands, her fingers once again followed the path of her mouth, with the same gentle caresses, sliding further running her mouth, her tongue, down each of Faith's legs until finally coming to hover over the raven-haired Slayer's center. Blowing lightly into the raven-haired Slayer's damp curls, Buffy smiled as Faith's hips rose up to greet her breath.

"B... Oh God..." Faith's whole body was on fire, this feeling more intense than ever before. Every part of her was in need, every part of her felt loved, felt whole. The intensity of this feeling more than anything she ever experienced, this slow burning ember that grew ever brighter. It almost scared her, as she felt her control slipping from her grasp.

At the touch of Buffy's tongue upon her a low strangled moan escaped from her and her hips surged up into that beautiful mouth.

Buffy ran her tongue along the length of Faith's center, loving the sweet musky taste of her, dipping further into her to gather more of Faith's essence onto her tongue. She explored the length of her folds, thrusting in as deep as she could go, keeping her touches just as feather light as her lips and hands had been upon Faith's body.

"God B... You feel so good..."

Buffy was building her up slowly, taking her time to explore every part of the raven-haired Slayer's core. She ran her tongue up to Faith's clit, gently sliding across and around it, catching it lightly between her teeth, sucking on it, as Faith pushed herself harder into her mouth. Still using those same gentle touches, those lighter than air touches of her tongue, feeling those echoes coming to her from Faith, knowing she was getting close.

"B... Wait... Please..."

Faith gently pulled Buffy up and over her. She smiled at the confused, concerned look on Buffy face.

"Did I hurt you? Do something wrong?"

Pulling Buffy into her arms Faith rolled Buffy over onto her back, smiling down at her; "No. You were doing everything right. Too right. It's just..." Faith trailed off, becoming shy again. Buffy smiled encouragingly at her.

"I just want... I want to touch you... I want us to... us together... I want to with you... do you know what I mean?" The smile that Buffy gave Faith in return was all the answer she needed.

Running her hands over Buffy's face, Faith drew delicate patterns, exploring all the contours of that beautiful face, giving for the first time full rein to all that she felt for the golden-haired Slayer. Tracing along with her fingertips like a blind person trying to paint a mental image of the person before them, using the same feather light touches that Buffy had been using on her. Taking her time to taste, to touch every inch of Buffy's skin, drinking in the sweat of her desire, the smell of Buffy's arousal, musky and uniquely Buffy. Caressing and massaging lightly along Buffy's arms, over to her breasts, suckling her nipples, biting delicately. Leaving little love marks to show where she'd been.

Buffy was in awe of Faith's touches, no one had ever touched her with such gentleness, such tenderness, such love as Faith was touching her now. Her whole body was quivering from each of Faith's touches, each of Faith's kisses. A kaleidoscope of colors flashed brightly behind her eyes, building a raging fire beneath her skin.

"Faith." Saying it just to say her name, trying to convey with it how Faith was making her feel.

Faith trailed her mouth down to Buffy's center. Using her thumbs, she opened Buffy to her. _'B,' _she moaned out before she lowered her head to taste the sweetness that was her lover. Shallowly thrusting into her with her tongue, drinking of her essences, plunging in deeper, running up to flick at Buffy's clit, smiling when she heard Buffy moan low. Tracing random patterns with her tongue over every inch of Buffy's wet center, loving every second, reveling in it and awed that she could make Buffy feel this way. Receiving from Buffy those echoes of what she was making her feel, no longer caring where it was coming from this new connection, just knowing that it was supposed to be.

"Faith. Baby..."

Now Buffy was pulling Faith up and away from her. Pulling Faith into her embrace and rolling them over to their sides, kissing Faith with more passion than before, as they tasted each other on the other's mouth. Their tongues dancing, breathing into each other, as their hands started to wander over each other's bodies again with more urgency then before.

They broke from the kiss, staring into each other's eyes. Buffy's hand slid lower, coming to rest between Faith's legs, she lightly flicked the raven-haired Slayer's clit and smiled as Faith's eyes widened and her breath caught. Faith returned the favor, smiling. They lay side-by-side mirroring each other's actions, each other's gentle, feather light touches...

"B... I'm so close..."

"So am I baby..."

Buffy looked deep into Faith's eyes and saw that she was still holding a part of herself back. Buffy more than saw it; she felt it in those odd little echoes they were sharing. Without any real conscious thought, Buffy let herself open up fully to Faith, using the connection they shared as Slayers, the connection they had while they were practicing Tai Chi, and now these odd echoes of emotions, of feelings. Enveloping, surrounding Faith with everything that Buffy was, all that she felt for Faith, reaching out to Faith with her soul, telling Faith all she had yet to express with words.

Faith felt it as Buffy reached out to her. Felt that connection, not doubting it for a minute. Felt all that Buffy felt for her and she opened herself to it, letting it surround and embrace her. And in return Faith opened herself fully to Buffy finally releasing all that she felt for Buffy, had felt before, finally releasing to Buffy the part of herself that she had kept locked away for as long as she could remember.

As she released that part of herself, Faith felt Buffy start to climax, and her own body responded to it and joined Buffy in release. They rode out the storm together, breathing each other's name, prolonging it as long as possible, clinging to each other afterwards.

After a time, Faith leaned down and kissed Buffy. Trying to convey with that sweet, loving, tender caress all which she could not explain with words, giving over to Buffy all of herself, giving to her that piece of herself that because of Buffy she could finally let free.

Buffy lost herself in that kiss that told her all she needed to know. Knowing somehow that Faith has just given her complete trust and made Buffy the keeper of her heart and soul, and Buffy made Faith hers in return.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...I feel you ~ Your precious soul ~ I feel you ~ And I am whole ~ I feel you ~ Your rising sun ~ My kingdom comes ~ I feel you ~ Each move you make ~ I feel you ~ Each breath you take ~ Where angels sing ~ And spread their wings ~ My love's on high ~ You take me home ~ To glory's throne ~ By and by ~ This is the morning of our love ~ It's just the dawning of our love - Depeche Mode

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	16. XV – Spoiled and Rotten

**XV – Spoiled and Rotten**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As each of the Chosen Two drifted off to sleep that night, it was cradled within the arms that were home, the arms that were love, the arms that were each other's.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The Slayer found herself staring down at the magnificent Tapestry of Life once again, trying to discern amongst the millions upon millions of Life Threads those which belonged to her and her family. It was an impossible task, the threads were so thin, split off, frayed and intertwined, that she doubted, given a hundred lifetimes, she would ever find one, let alone them all.

She sighed wearily and rubbed her eyes like a sleepy child. Somehow, she knew the answer or the knowledge she was to learn from the Fates lay within the tapestry. Obviously, they weren't going to point them out to her, nothing was ever that simple at least not when it came to being a Slayer. Actually, if she thought about it she could no longer separate the core of herself from the Slayer part; they were one in the same. _'The Slayer'_ was just part of who she was.

She wandered around the large room, running her hands over the loom, the staff where the threads were spun. Idly she wondered where the Fates were, it wasn't usual for them to just let her wander around alone. She thought maybe this was some sort of test. She was surprised to see Atropos' shears on the table over in the corner. A lot of damage could be done if the wrong person got their hands on them.

As she roamed around the Slayer started to get worried. Why was she here this time? Was the time drawing near for their confrontation with Glory? Was that why she was here? Why now? Why now when things were finally happening, finally right, finally the way they should have been from the beginning between her and...

"Child, welcome." The Slayer could almost swear that Atropos sounded surprised.

"Hey," the Slayer paused unsure of what to say. "Um... You kinda left your shears lying around. Not a good idea I'm thinking."

"Did I?"

The Slayer looked at the table and saw that the shears were no longer there. She wondered if she had tried to pick them up if they would have just disappeared, she had a funny feeling that they would have. She smiled at Atropos, the old woman was a wily old fox, she was.

"This was a test wasn't it?"

"Actually no Child, it wasn't."

"Then why am I here? Why did you bring me here?" The Slayer was truly confused now, if she wasn't brought here for this, then what?

"You tell me," Atropos said no hint in her voice.

"What's that supposed to mean? You brought me here."

Atropos just shrugged her shoulders. The Slayer was even more confused now and to make matters worse they were in the sitting room instead of the tapestry room. She hated when that happened. She walked over to where Atropos was sitting on the couch doing needlepoint on a rather large tapestry and for the first time she noticed the paintings on the walls. They were so lifelike, the Slayer almost expected the people to walk off the canvas.

As she moved closer to them she realized that they weren't paintings, rather they were intricate needlepoints. The stitches so small and fine that she doubted without her _'Slayer vision'_ she would have been able to see any of the stitches. They were breathtakingly beautiful each and every one of them. Her eyes traveled over the different portraits, stopping when she came to, two very familiar faces.

"Hey that's..." Then another caught her eye, and another, and another, as she scanned the portraits, unbelievably. "Hey that is..."

"Yes and yes, and yes... They are and you were not supposed to see them just yet, in fact, not for quite some time. I am afraid you caught me off guard. Which hasn't happened to me in... Hmmm... I can't even tell you how long it's been Child since someone has done that. I forget sometimes that you are a Slayer."

"But... Why are..."

"Don't ask, because I cannot tell you."

"What do you mean I caught you off guard? You brought me here. How can I catch... Oh..." The Slayer trailed off realizing that if the Fates didn't bring her here then she must have somehow brought herself here. But how?

"I can see that you have figured it out. But by the look on your face you aren't sure how you managed to get here. Correct?"

The Slayer just nodded her head. Temporarily forgetting about the portraits, wondering how, why she would be given this kind of access to the Fates domain.

"Since the first time we brought you here, you had the ability to return anytime you wished. I guess that doesn't explain much, does it? When you sleep, if you wish, you can come here when you need to, and if you just simply desire to visit us. In time, as your powers as a Slayer grow you will be able to come here if you wish during your waking hours while you meditate. You will also be able to, in time, teach, and share this place with your other half. This time you came on your own, the reason for which is known only to you."

"Why? Why am I allowed this privilege?"

"Well that my child I am afraid I cannot tell you just yet." Atropos laughed at the _'I-should-have-known-better'_ look the Slayer gave her.

"Figures... I'm not sure why I wanted to come here myself. I think it has to do with the Tapestry of Life something I am missing... Not sure though... Did you do the tapestries on the wall?" The Slayer looked at the wall of portraits, a puzzled look came over her face, something was wrong. What was it? There were portraits missing, weren't there? She couldn't really remember though, it was sort of fuzzy. Strange.

Atropos saw the puzzled look on the Slayer's face. She had weaved a little magic of her own and made the Slayer forget about the other portraits, well not exactly forget, sort of blurred the memory as best she could. It would resurface when the time was right, which wasn't now. There was one other thing she had neglected to tell the Slayer about her ability to come here, and that was the reason why she could for now only come here in her dreams.

It was because, for now, the only time the Slayer remembered coming here was while she dreamed. The memories of the Fates, what they told her and their domain was only in her unconscious mind. When the time was right she would remember them and all that she was told, and with her last call here by the Fates an understanding of what was to happen and the choice she had to make would be made clear.

"Yes I did. It is a hobby of mine. Come sit, I will show you."

The Slayer and Atropos sat for a while and talked about mundane things. Atropos showed the Slayer how she worked the needle and threads in the designs and the Slayer was amazed at the skill and the patience it took, as well as the amount of time and care that went into each of the portraits or scenes. It was nice for a while to forget about who they were, to put the reality of their everyday lives on hold for a time. All too soon, it seemed their time together came to an end.

"It was good to see you again Child. Until next time." Atropos hugged the Slayer and this time the Slayer was given the chance to return that hug before Atropos faded and was gone.

The Slayer was once more in bed dreaming.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith woke to the smell of fresh brewed coffee, eggs, bacon and burnt toast. Her stomach growled in response to the enticing aromas, even the burnt toast. She grumbled a little when she realized that Buffy couldn't be next to her if the smells coming from downstairs were any indication. She had been looking forward to one of those morning kisses they had shared after she was hurt. Looking forward to that and a little more, now that there was nothing holding them back.

She looked over at the clock, already knowing that it would be about an hour until the sunrise. Every morning since they had left L.A. with the exception of the two when she was hurt, she and Buffy had been sharing the sunrise together.

Grumbling a little more at being denied her kiss, she got out of the bed. She saw a yellow sticky note on the mirror.

Morning sleepy head. Take a quick shower and meet me in the garden. B.

P.S. I was afraid if I signed it Buffy you wouldn't know who it was from : )~

Faith let out a chuckle; she had a feeling that she would be finding a lot of these little notes in the future. It was cute, even if it wasn't the equivalent of a kiss. She practically skipped into the bathroom. She took a quick shower and put on the silk robe Buffy had bought for her, she thought briefly about putting on shorts and a tee-shirt. But what was the point?

While they might get up to watch the sunrise they very rarely stayed awake after, usually they would sleep a few more hours until it was time to take Dawn to school and then go to the shop to train. So there was really no point in getting dressed, the robe would just have to do. And anyway, this morning the witches were going to take Dawn to school for them, another reason to wear just the robe.

Buffy was just coming back inside from the garden when Faith came flying down the stairs. She found herself being lifted up into those strong arms, while Faith planted kisses all over her face, spinning them around in circles until they were both dizzy.

"Someone is happy this morning." Buffy smiled at Faith, after she figured out which one the real Faith was, her head was still spinning.

"How could I not be?!" Faith said with a silly grin.

"OH SHIT!" Buffy yelped, then took off running for the kitchen. Faith followed her, the smell of freshly burnt toast assailing her nostrils.

"Damn, damn, damn. What did I ever do to you? Why don't you like me?" Buffy mumbled at the toaster.

Faith looked at the pile of burnt toast on the counter, it looked to be about a half a bags worth.

"Ah... B... It's not you, that toaster doesn't like anyone. It kinda doesn't work right. I've been meaning to throw it away. You have to use the toaster oven to make toast. Why don't you let me make the toast? You finish whatever else needs to be done. 'K?"

"'K," Buffy grabbed up Faith and gave her a kiss that made her hair even curler. Then she was out of Faith's arms and out of her reach before she had a chance to pursue it further. Faith went after her.

Buffy turned around, her hand out halting Faith and giving her a pretty good imitation of Willow's _'Resolve Face.' _"No! Toast!"

Faith pouted at her.

"We have plenty of time. Let's eat first before everything gets cold. This way there won't be anything interrupting us later. Like your stomach growling!" Buffy said in a softer tone, with an impish grin, while her eyes lazily raked over the raven-haired Slayer.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith met Buffy out in the garden after finishing making the toast. There was a large picnic blanket on the ground. The pillows that had been in front of the fireplace where piled on it, and the low table was out there as well. Faith had to laugh at the amount of food piled upon the table. There was a very large platter with eggs, bacon, and sausage. Another platter piled high with fresh fruit, strawberries, melon, blueberries, raspberries, cherries, and cantaloupe. As well as fair size bowl of fresh whipped cream. There were two big glasses of orange juice and a container with coffee.

"Wow! I thought you said you couldn't cook B." Faith sat down next to Buffy.

"Eggs, bacon, and sausage, that's about the extent of my culinary abilities."

"Looks great. I'm starved."

"Gee that's a big surprise." Buffy smiled at the Dark Slayer.

Faith piled a plate high with food, taking a little bit of everything and surprised Buffy by handing it to her. She poured a cup of coffee added two sugars and a little cream and handed that to Buffy as well. Then she set about making herself a plate, which she piled even higher, as well as making herself a cup of sugar and cream with a little bit of coffee thrown in for good measure.

"Thanks," Buffy said finally remembering her manners.

"Welcome. It's the least I could do after all you did last night and now this morning, even if I do have a huge hickey!" Faith gave Buffy one of her lopsided grins, which countered the last part that was grumbled out.

"Really. A hickey?" Buffy asked all innocent and sweet between bites.

"Yeah B, as if you didn't know." Faith grumbled a little more. In reality, it didn't bother her.

Buffy put her plate down and slid closer to Faith, reaching out to move Faith's hair out of the way.

"Let me see." Buffy saw the rather good size hickey on Faith's neck by her ear. Again, she felt a primal pleasure at leaving her mark on Faith. She had no clue where the feeling was coming from but she couldn't help but smile.

"Oh my. So sorry. Let me kiss it and make it better." She purred out to Faith.

Buffy leaned into Faith and placed a light tender kiss on the mark, whispering to her around the kiss, "Better?"

"Almost," Faith whispered back.

She ran her mouth down the length of Faith's neck then back up to the tender spot, lightly kissing it again. Running her tongue along the spot, then scraping her teeth along it. She nipped it, scraped her teeth a little harder, kissed it again, sucked on the mark and made it even darker.

Faith could swear that Buffy was purring like a cat while she was doing this, could swear that the spot on her neck had a direct link with her center as well. She gasped low, when Buffy began to suck on her neck, feeling the familiar heat rise up again.

Buffy pulled back from Faith and traced the mark with her fingertips. "Ooops! Think I made it worse!" She slid back over and picked up her plate and began eating her breakfast again, an impish glint in her eyes.

"You don't play fair. You know that B?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

After they had polished off all the eggs, bacon and sausage, Buffy pulled Faith back into her embrace.

Faith found herself reclining back against Buffy's raised knee, her legs over the top of Buffy's other leg.

Buffy pulled the low table closer to her, reaching over she picked up one of the ripe strawberries.

"Want?" Buffy asked Faith holding the strawberry over Faith's mouth, her other hand nonchalantly running over Faith's shoulders and neck.

Faith just nodded yes, amazed by the smoldering ember of arousal that was starting just from the sound of Buffy's voice so close to her ear. This side of Buffy awed Faith, she had a sneaky feeling that being the seducer rather than the seduced was new to Buffy. She knew for herself that she had always been the aggressor, so this was new to her, and damn if she wasn't loving it. It made her feel wanted in ways that she never dreamed possible. And damn if Buffy wasn't good at being the seductress.

"Another?" This time before Buffy brought the strawberry to Faith's mouth she bit a little off the tip. She stopped shy of Faith's mouth and slowly ran it along her lips, tempting Faith with it but not letting her have it. Then impishly she popped it into her own mouth. Her other hand continued to run over Faith nonchalantly, reaching lower.

"Mmmmm. These are good. Sweet." She murmured low in Faith's ear, causing her to shudder. While her other hand untied the sash to Faith's robe, then glided up to open the robe baring Faith to the pale pre-dawn light. Her hand once again nonchalantly continuing its lazy travels over Faith's now exposed body.

Buffy picked up another strawberry. She brought it to Faith's lips running it along them again.

"Open," Faith did as she was told and Buffy put the strawberry halfway into her mouth.

"Bite," again, Faith did as she was told, Buffy's low and husky voice tickled her ear.

Buffy then ran the half-eaten strawberry around Faith's mouth, squeezing the strawberry lightly so that the juice dripped down from her lips towards her chin, leaving a glistening sheen behind.

Buffy fed the rest of the strawberry to Faith. She ran her hand up behind Faith's neck and pulled her towards her, leaning into her. She began to lap up the strawberry juice from Faith's chin and lips.

The touch of her tongue feather light, she smiled when she heard Faith growl low in her throat. Faith reached around Buffy and grabbed a strawberry for herself, wanting to return the favor. Buffy snatched it from her hand, shaking a finger at Faith in the age-old sign of _'No'_.

"Never got to finish spoiling you last night, want to finish now. Can I?" Buffy's smile seduced Faith, who just nodded yes.

She continued to feed Faith from the tray, teasing her with the fruit. Tasting it from her mouth, her lips, with feather light touches of her tongue and mouth, until Faith was aching for just a little more of a kiss, a little more pressure, something more than just these teasing kisses that were driving her crazy.

"B..." Buffy looked at Faith and saw raw need in her eyes and written across her face. Her hand slid lower delving into the slick hot wetness of Faith.

Faith drove herself up hard into Buffy's hand, her need overwhelming her. The desire had come over her hard, fast and urgent, almost from out of nowhere.

Buffy plunged her fingers into Faith forcefully knowing that now was not the time to tease her, even without their shared echoing of feelings she could feel the burning need coming off Faith. She was feeling it herself, it was like they had both suddenly gone into heat. It was primal, as if last night had released a part of the first Slayer in both of them. It wasn't just lust though, lust was part of it, but there was tenderness, passion, desire, all wrapped in the love the Slayers had for each other. Their need physically to express that to each other had taken hold in the form of raw primal desire.

Faith pulled Buffy down to her almost violently. Her mouth slamming into Buffy's in a fierce kiss, plunging her tongue deep into Buffy's mouth, moaning in need.

Buffy moaned back her fingers plunging into Faith at a punishing rate, her thumb seeking out her clit and pressing into it hard, circling, punishing it too.

Faith's body arched up hard and stilled for a second before her orgasm rolled over her, her muscles tightening around Buffy's fingers with such force that they almost went numb. Faith wrenched her mouth away, yelling out Buffy's name so loud Buffy's ears actually rang. A primal satisfaction went through her at the thought that she had made Faith feel this way.

Faith was in the throes of one of the most intense orgasms of her life. Every part of her felt it; it was like a live wire was touching every nerve in her body. Dimly she heard the sound of platters hitting the tiled ground as Buffy continued driving into her, prolonging her orgasm, intensifying it. Then Buffy was lifting her and placing her on the low table. Later she would swear she heard Buffy actually growling and then Buffy's mouth was on her and Faith was sent off into ecstasy again as another wave rolled over her prolonging the fire in her.

Buffy plunged her tongue into Faith's slick center with almost the same punishing force of her fingers only a few seconds ago. Her fingers moved to torture Faith's clit, while her other hand slid up Faith's body to capture a nipple rolling and playing with it, with equal abandonment.

Buffy ruthlessly drove Faith to a second orgasm then a third; she was helpless under Buffy's hands and mouth. Buffy's own desire rose higher, out of her control, each time Faith screamed out her name.

Faith sat up still in the throes of her last climax, she pulled Buffy away from her, pushing her none too gently onto her back, moaning as her body still convulsed.

Faith's mouth was on Buffy's own dripping center before Buffy was even completely lying back, her fingers thrusting, curling up into Buffy with the same punishing force Buffy had used on her. Her tongue flicking hard over Buffy's clit, biting, sucking it into her mouth, within seconds she felt Buffy's core clenching her fingers, as Buffy pushed herself even harder into her mouth, screaming out Faith's name as loudly as Faith had screamed hers only a short time ago.

Buffy's body convulsed so forcefully she almost came up into a sitting position. Then a second climax was steam rolling over her before the first had even finished. Faith was still driving into her moaning around her clit sending the vibration throughout her body. Liquid fire was running through every cell of her body, she screamed out Faith's name again.

She pulled Faith up and over her, sliding her hand behind her neck pulling her down to her mouth. Kissing her without mercy, her other hand sliding down into Faith's moist heat, while Faith's fingers continued to plunge into her, as they mercilessly propelled each other toward another climax.

Faith pulled away from the kiss her head dropping down to Buffy's shoulder as she chanted Buffy's name like a mantra. She bit down hard on Buffy's shoulder as she felt herself start to climax again, her fingers increasing their rhythm, delving deeper into Buffy. Faith's orgasm ripped through her, scorching her, searing her, she saw colors flashing behind her closed eyes. It rose even higher as she felt Buffy climaxing around her fingers, and yell out her name hoarsely.

Afterwards they lay holding each other tightly; still trembling, exhausted, smiling they drifted off to sleep.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I know you feel it ~ This is a serious chemistry ~ You don't have to believe it ~ But the truth will set you free ~ You're flashing like white neon ~ in my mind and it's alright ~ I must be spoiled and rotten ~ cause no one else will ever do ~ Don't you forget I get what I want ~ All I want is you...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Finally, after a very long shower and three or four attempts at getting dressed two very sedate, sleepy, silly-ass, smiling, sore Slayers emerged from the Mansion. It was early evening and if they didn't have to go pick up Dawn at the witches they would have probably still been trying to get dressed. Together they dragged out the garbage can to curb.

"Holy shit B. What was that like total lust-puppy mode or what?" Faith asked blushing, half joking, half not. Sighing inside, that had come out completely the wrong way.

How it was possible that she could be blushing after last night, and today she hadn't a fucking clue, but the heat she felt on her neck and face told her that she was. They had devoured each other all morning and into the early evening. Even now, she could feel the desire rising up in her again, hell she could feel it coming from Buffy too.

Buffy looked at Faith, her own thoughts along the same line. She felt the passion rising again, even knowing that her body couldn't take anymore or Faith's for that matter. It was almost like they were trying to get in a lifetime together in a few short days. Trying to make up for all that they had lost out on, but it was also more than just that.

Buffy believed it had to do with the connection they shared, the echoing of feelings that was happening between them. It seemed to escalate and double the feelings, the emotions. They really needed to talk about it; and they needed to talk to Giles about it as well as other things.

"Lust-puppy mode, yes, but... It was more than just lust Faith. Lust was part of it sure. But there was desire, passion, tenderness... more than even that... I don't even know how to explain it. It was like I wanted to be part of you and you to be a part of me. It's like we're connected in a way that I've never, and I don't think you've ever been, with anyone before. More than just by our connection as Slayers. I just know I feel more alive, more whole with you than I've ever have in my life."

Buffy wanted to tell Faith that she loved her, but something was holding her back. Some deep seeded instinct was telling her not to, not yet. Over the years, she had learned to trust that internal voice. No, it hadn't always been right, but somehow Buffy just knew that it was this time. Somehow, she knew it had to do with Faith's past. Just knew that Faith needed to be the one to say it first, not why, not how, she just knew.

Faith closed the distance between them, bringing Buffy into her embrace, whispering in her ear, "That how it felt, how it feels for me too."

They pulled apart when they heard the next-door neighbor that neither of them had ever met before, dragging his garbage can down the driveway. Another man followed him dragging a second can. They walked over towards the Slayers, waving a hello.

"Hi. I'm Gary and this is James." Gary said extending his hand to Faith, while James extended his hand to Buffy, "So which one of you is Faith and which one is Bee?"

The Chosen Two turned scarlet, both knowing how the neighbors knew their names.

"Oh shit!" Faith mumbled, "Ah.. we... ah..."

"Hey don't worry about it," Gary said. "James and I have been known to frolic in the garden ourselves. Although not at five o'clock in the morning."

The Chosen Two stared at the two men with open mouths. What the hell were they supposed to say?

"You've got about as much tact as a bulldozer Gary." James said playfully punching him on the arm. "Welcome to the neighborhood. Just watch out for old lady Crabtree. She doesn't like our kind. So which of you is which?"

"She's Faith and I'm B, I mean Buffy." Buffy was a little flustered to say the least.

"Buffy? I think I like Bee better." Gary smiled at Buffy.

"See B. It isn't just me," Faith smirked.

Both Gary and Faith were rewarded by playful punches from both their significant others.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They were in the training room. Faith was practicing her spinning kicks; she still had some trouble with them, specifically following through with her head. Buffy was holding the body bag for her. She moved the bag out of her way so she could get a clear look at Faith, whose back was to her. She watched as Faith rolled her shoulders trying to ease some of the tension from them. Buffy's eyes traversed lower down the length of Faith's spine, seeing the muscles move there, feeling the all too familiar heat rise in her again. She was wondering after the last two days if it would always be like this between them. It had never been like this for her with anyone else.

They still needed to tell Giles about their relationship, and Buffy had been putting it off. He was like a father to her and she was afraid of disappointing him. She knew she wasn't being fair to him, he didn't seem to have a problem with Willow and Tara being together so she had no reason to think that he would have a problem with her and Faith.

_Damn but she's got a nice ass._

Buffy was so busy checking out Faith's ass, and lost in thought about how to talk to Giles that she didn't see Faith's kick coming at her until it was too late.

Faith, who once again didn't follow through correctly, didn't see she was about to hit Buffy in the face until a second before it happened. She twisted her body trying to pull out and succeeded in only coming down hard on her hand, knowing instantly that it was sprained. At the same time, she realized she had sent Buffy flying across the room, knocking her out cold.

"B?" She questioned softly.

No answer came from the still body that lay about ten feet from her. Blood was pouring from Buffy's nose where the ball of Faith's foot had hit her and from her mouth where Faith's heel had hit.

"B?" She queried softly again. She scrambled over to Buffy on her hands and knees, pulled her head into her lap and frantically started wiping away the blood that was still coming from her nose, then just as frantically started wiping away the blood coming from Buffy's split and swollen lip.

**"BUFFY!"** She screamed terrified.

**_OHGOD!WHYISN'TSHEMOVING?FUCKME!OHGOD!_**

Giles, Willow, Tara and Spike came rushing into the training room after hearing Faith's tortured scream, they hesitated but a second upon seeing Faith cradling Buffy in her arms and the blood that covered both Slayers.

"What happened here?" Giles asked Faith as he knelt besides them, quickly scanning the room, thinking that Glory might have something to do with this.

"I... I don't know. I was practicing my kicks and I hit her... I tried to stop... Why isn't she moving Giles? Why?"

Willow ran and got the first aid kit and some towels before Giles even asked.

"Faith let Buffy go so I can take a look at her." Giles waited for Faith to release Buffy but it was like she hadn't heard him. "Faith you need to let Buffy go so I can see what you did to her." It came out harsher then he wanted and not exactly the way he wanted to say it.

Giles didn't miss the hurt that flashed across Faith's face and in her eyes at his harsh words. Right now though, his only thoughts were to check Buffy, he would apologize later to Faith for his harsh tone and words. He knew she hadn't meant to hurt Buffy, he didn't have any idea how deep his words affected her. Carefully Faith lay Buffy on the cushion that Tara had dragged over from the couch.

"I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't." Faith stood and backed away, wiping her bloody hands on her shorts. She watched as Giles carefully cleaned away the blood from Buffy's face.

She started trembling when she saw Buffy's face, nose bruised, swollen, bleeding, and her mouth split, swollen, and bleeding too. Unconsciously she began to claw at the blood on her hands, causing welts to rise, and small scrapes that began to bleed lightly.

"I don't think her nose is broken, seems to be more bluster than anything else. It looks like the kick just knocked her out. Willow is there any smelling salt in that kit?" Giles asked relieved.

Spike, who had been standing off to the side not saying anything, caught the scent of _'new'_ blood. He looked over at Faith and saw what she was doing to her hands. _"Christ," _he uttered under his breath as he made his way over to the Dark Slayer.

No one had to tell him what was going on between the two Slayers, his vampire senses had told him everything he needed to know. He might be in love with Buffy, but he was old enough to know that he didn't have a shot in hell with her. Any hope he might have been harboring had disappeared over the last few weeks after seeing the two of them together. The day the Watchers Council had shown up had killed the very last of his inane hope that someday he and Buffy would be together.

As he saw what Faith was doing to her hands he instantly understood, there was plenty of blood on his own hands that was for sure.

Ever since the chip had been put in his head, he had been slowly but surely changing. He often wondered now, if in fact, it was true that he didn't have a soul. Or if it was more that, once infected with the demon when he was turned, it combined with the dark side or evil that everyone had, and the evil and the demon had so outweighed the good part of his soul that those combined essences had caused his actual soul to become dormant.

He knew as he approached Faith that she would not accept his help or any kind words. His best approach with her right now was to revert back to _'William the Bloody'_ and make Faith angry. What she was doing to herself was a good indication that a part of her didn't believe that she had not meant to hurt Buffy, and thought the others would not believe it too. Giles words had woken the hidden fear in the Dark Slayer.

The old Spike would have used this to his advantage, but to hurt Faith would be like hurting Buffy and that was something Spike no longer had the desire to do. He envied what they had and in an odd way was happy for them both, while he would live forever or at the very least many more lifetimes, their lives because they were Slayers was short at best. So while he wished he could have Buffy for himself, he could not begrudge either of them the happiness and love they had found with each other.

"Nice job Slayer," Spike said sarcastically as he stood next to Faith. She ignored him. "Next time you should try a little harder."

Faith turned on him, her eyes blazing with anger. "Fuck you Spike. I didn't mean to hurt her."

Giles helped Buffy to sit up now that she was awake. Willow, Tara and Giles were oblivious to the interaction going on between Spike and Faith. Buffy heard what Faith said and turned towards them. She caught Spike's quick glance down at Faith's hands, which she was still clawing at and saw the furrow between his eyebrows and the quickly hidden concern in his eyes before he spoke again.

"Right Slayer, sure you didn't mean to hurt her."

Buffy knew in an instant what he was trying to do.

"Fuck you!" Faith's tone was furious and loud. She shoved Spike, sending him flying backwards. Clenching her fists, she took a threatening step towards him. "I didn't mean to hurt her! It was a t." She said slowly through clenched teeth.

"Faith," Buffy called to her softly.

Faith moved over to Buffy side so fast she made everyone's head spin; she knelt down next to the golden-haired Slayer. "B... You okay? I'm sorry... I didn't mean..."

"I know baby. It wasn't your fault..." Buffy grabbed both of Faith's hands. Faith winced at the pain, and looked down at her hands noticing for the first time what she had done to them... again.

"Oh shit..." It dawned on Faith suddenly what Spike had been trying to do. She looked at Spike, and waited for him to return her gaze; she silently thanked him with her eyes.

Spike just nodded his acceptance of her thanks. It was time for him to make a quiet exit. While he might realize he could never have Buffy it was painful to watch her with someone else.

"Faith why don't you help Buffy into my office, I would like to talk to the two of you."

Giles watched as Faith simply picked up Buffy, cradling her like a newborn infant. If he didn't already know what was going on between them he would have known that instant. Both wore their feelings for each other on their sleeves. It was in every look they exchanged, in the tone of their voices when they spoke to each other, in the unconscious way they always stayed within arm's length of each other and the light touches they shared when they were near each other.

He would have had to be deaf, dumb and blind not to see or hear it. Unfortunately for them, they were going to have to learn how to block it out when they were training and slaying, this was twice now that one of them had gotten hurt because they had allowed themselves to get distracted by their feelings for the other.

It was unfortunate all right and Giles wasn't looking forward to having this talk with them. He had hoped that they would come to him. Now however, he was going to have to force the issue, he couldn't risk either of them getting hurt. He already thought of Buffy and Dawn as his own daughters, Willow, Tara, Xander, and even Anya like they were his children as well. And of late he had begun to think of Faith that way too.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith laid Buffy down gently on the couch in Giles office. She perched on the arm of the couch by Buffy's head, her hands shoved in her pockets hoping that none of the other's had seen what she had done to them. Fuck, she was going to have to wear the lifting gloves for a few days again.

Giles entered the office a few seconds after the Slayers, the two witches trailing behind him. The three of them were looking back and forth between the two Slayers, their gazes finally coming to rest on Faith. She squirmed a little under their gaze and stood.

"I... I didn't mean to hurt her. I swear... You know that don't you?" Faith pleaded. She was desperate for them to believe her. She didn't want to lose their trust, not after so recently gaining it completely.

"That goes without saying Faith. I apologize for being so harsh with you. If you mistook what I said in any way that made you think that I thought you did this on purpose, I am sorry. It was not my intention. My concern for Buffy got the best of me."

Faith smiled a little at him. She turned her gaze to the two witches. "Willow? Tara?"

Willow and Tara were a little shocked to realize that Faith actually thought they might think that she would hurt Buffy on purpose. Although, Willow realized, it really would have been her first thought not too long ago. The fact that Faith had actually used both of their names instead of her nicknames for them showed the seriousness of her question.

"Of course we know you wouldn't hurt Buffy on purpose."

Faith looked a little doubtful at Willow, not sure whether to believe her or not. It became clear to Willow by that look it wasn't really them that Faith doubted, but herself. Afraid perhaps that some hidden place inside of her still wanted to hurt Buffy. Faith was looking to them to help reinforce what she herself couldn't, would not believe was true. Faith knew that if any one of them thought for a second that she had tried to hurt Buffy on purpose, that there really was a hidden part of her that was still angry, still hadn't changed.

"Faith I think I am safe in saying that you would rather die than ever hurt Buffy in any way ever again. We all believe that, even Xander. And further I think I am safe in saying that Buffy feels the same way about you."

"It wasn't even your fault Faith. If I didn't get distracted you would have hit the bag instead of me." Buffy said slowly, it was a little hard to speak clearly with her split, swollen lip. Not to mention it hurt.

"Yes. Um... Before we get on the subject of your getting distracted Buffy, I believe Faith's hands need some medical attention."

"Ah... they're fine G-Man. Just fine."

Giles was not going to take no for an answer. He beckoned to Faith to come over to him, giving her the _'Stern-Father-Resolve-Face.'_ Like Willow's _'Resolve-Face' _Giles' face clearly stated the Borgs', _'Resistance is futile' _mantra.

_What the fuck? Everybody's got a 'Resolve Face' but me?_ Faith thought, still refusing to budge from her perch.

"Faith," Giles said softly, "I know all about the scars. So please come here and let me take care of your hands."

Faith and Buffy exchanged looks. She knew that Buffy wouldn't have told Giles about this without first asking her if it was all right to do so. So how then, did he know?

It looked like this talk was going to be about more than just the two of them allowing their feelings for each other to distract them. He would tell them the whole of it; it was time they knew anyway. Both he and Angel had held their tongues on this, agreeing in the beginning when Faith first returned to Sunnydale that the time was not right. They both had often wondered if things would have happened differently had they not. Of late though, both had begun to think that it might have made things worse instead of better. The time for secrets though was long since passed.

Giles saw the confused look the Slayers exchanged and said, "Let me take care of your hands first and I will explain everything to you."

Willow and Tara couldn't help the gasps that escaped them when Faith held out her hands to Giles. They had seen the scars but unlike Buffy, they had not seen them up close. They had asked Buffy about them, but she had told them to ask Faith or to wait until Faith felt comfortable enough to tell them about the scars. Without actually seeing them up close, the witches had not been able to determine like Buffy that they had been self-inflicted. Now, seeing the fresh marks on Faith's hands they had no doubts how the Dark Slayer had gotten them. Then as if someone had whispered in their minds and painted a picture both witches got a flash of Faith's words of _'So much blood on my hands,'_ and an image of the blood she saw on her hands in her own mind every day.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Giles cleaned and bandaged Faith's hands and wrapped her sprained wrist. He tried to keep his face expressionless when he saw the amount of damage Faith had done to them. He felt guilty as he looked at them and of having failed her. Surely there was something he could have done that could have prevented this. Could have helped the Dark Slayer, prevented her from going down that path.

He mentally berated himself for being a snob, because like the others, back then he had deep down inside thought that Faith hadn't been good enough to be one of them. Like the others he had never looked beneath the surface of the girl, instead he had judged her by her appearance alone. Had never heard the meaning behind her words, had never looked into her eyes to see if they echoed the words that fell from her lips. They had all made mistakes where Faith was concerned but it was she, who had paid the highest price for them. There was more than enough blame to go around, only back then none of them had been willing to take their fair share. And like Buffy had thought not too long ago, he thanked whomever for giving him a chance to make things right, giving him a chance to redeem himself for his earlier actions.

As if she had read his thoughts, Faith lightly put her hand on Giles shoulder. She looked him in the eyes and smiled softy at him.

"It's okay G-man. It's all in the past now."

Faith walked back over to Buffy on the couch, who sat up and made room for her. Without even thinking, as if it were second nature to them both, Buffy laid her head back down in Faith's lap, who started soothingly and gently stroking her hair.

"Maybe we should leave," Tara stood up Willow was quick to follow.

Giles looked to Faith. This was her choice, what he was about to tell them had to do with the scars, and it wasn't his place to decide whether the witches should know about it.

"Stay," she said simply.

Giles took off his glasses and started cleaning them while he waited for Willow and Tara to sit back down.

"Yes. Well, I suppose it would be best to start at the beginning." Giles cleared his throat, trying to compose his thoughts.

"Faith did you ever wonder how Angel knew to come and get you at the courthouse the day you were released from prison?"

Faith shook her head no. That day was still a little fuzzy for her. She had never asked Angel and he had never told her. Actually, she had never given it much thought, over the last year Angel just had been there for her when she needed him. She had never questioned it.

Giles took a deep breath, he knew what he was about to say was going to shock everyone in the room; it certainly had shocked him when he was told.

"Buffy's mother Joyce called Angel that day to come and get you Faith."

"What? Mom never said..."

"Mrs. S. was..."

"Mom called..."

"...there?"

"...Angel... How?"

"...I don't remember her..."

"...Why?..."

Giles held up his hand for silence as the Chosen Two both talked over each other in their rush to question him.

"Let me tell you the whole of it. Then you can ask me your questions and I will answer them as best as I can." Taking another deep breath Giles began again.

"A few days before Joyce passed away she asked to speak alone with me. That day she told me that she was planning to go to L.A. to see you Faith. By then, you were working for Angel at the agency. When I asked her why, she told me all of it.

"When Buffy returned from L.A. after you had turned yourself in, Joyce decided to keep tabs on your progress. She was surprised Buffy by your refusal to believe that Faith could change or at the very least that Faith wanted to change. You see, there was a part of her, despite everything that had happened that did not believe that you were evil Faith. She contacted a detective on the L.A.P.D. whom I believe you know Faith, named Kate Lockley who agreed to keep her informed. Detective Lockley also managed to have Joyce listed as a contact in your prison file should something happen to you while you were in custody. Four months into your incarceration she got a phone call from the prison doctor about you. He told her..." Giles trailed off here, looking at Faith. She nodded at him to continue.

"The doctor told her about what the guards had done to you. He told her that it appeared the guards had been beating you daily for about a week. How you were dehydrated and suffering from malnutrition. The doctor also told her of the carnage you had inflicted upon your own hands. He told her he didn't know how or why you ended up in solitary. What Joyce didn't tell him was that he was probably wrong about the amount of time you had spent in solitary. Joyce figured with your Slayer healing you had been in solitary for twice the amount of time he estimated. She was right, wasn't she Faith?"

"Twelve days." Her voice came out a hoarse whisper, her mouth dry. She had not expected to have to talk of this ever again. She didn't think that it would still be so painful, but then again she had not thought she would ever do this to her hands again.

Faith's hand trembled against Buffy's hair, who immediately sat up, and pulled her close to her. Buffy's arms coming around the raven-haired Slayer in support, in comfort.

"I was attacked in the shower by four inmates and two guards..."

Faith retold the tale of what happened to her in prison. How she was attacked and then thrown in solitary. How the guards had tried to break her, first by denying her food and water. When that didn't work, how they had tried to break her by beating her, sometimes more than once a day. Until they were too tired to beat her anymore or she had passed out. Her voice became a hoarse whisper when she told them of the blood she saw on her hands, and what she had done to them to try and get it off. The guards, she said, had tried to break her, what they didn't realize was that she was already broken.

There was silence in the room for a time after Faith finished speaking. All of them wondering if they would have had the strength to have survived all of that. Would have had the strength to survive all of what Faith had implied had been her life even before coming to Sunnydale. There wasn't one person in that room who didn't admire the Dark Slayer for the strength of will it had taken for her to survive against all the odds and turn her life around.

Willow started to speak only to be stopped by Faith's raised trembling hand. "No, Red... Please just let Giles finish his story... Another time we can talk about this. Okay?"

Giles cleared his throat again, fiddling with his glasses. "After Joyce spoke with the doctor she decided to go to L.A., she already knew that you were going to court Faith, so she made arrangements to go. If you recall Buffy, your Mother left on an unexpected trip for an art auction on a Sunday. Even Angel did not know that she would be there. She told me she knew the instant that you came into the courtroom Faith, that you had changed and the Mother in her told her that not only had you changed but also that you were in pain, and something was terribly wrong.

"She decided in that second that no matter what the outcome of the trial she was going to do everything in her power to help you. She had not been prepared however for what happened when all the charges were dropped and she saw what you had done to yourself. When the Judge had you removed from the courtroom, she heard him mention something about having you institutionalized. She did not think that would be best for you. Any talk of being a Slayer would land you drugged and locked away for the rest of your life. She also feared that the Watchers Council would be able to get their hands on you in an institution whereas they could not while you were in prison.

"She ran up and spoke with the Judge introducing herself as your Aunt. Which, believe it or not, she was listed as on your file. With the Judge's help, she made arrangements to have Angel come for you. You had trusted him once to help you and she hoped that you would again. She waited outside of the room you were in until he arrived.

"Joyce and Angel kept in contact with each other. He told her of your progress and then later it was Wesley who kept her up to date. She had planned on coming to see you sooner, but then she had gotten sick. When I spoke with her that day she told me that she wanted to let you know that she had forgiven you, but that was not her only reason for going. She said there was another reason, one that she had not even told Angel. She had been dreaming about the two of you. There was darkness and light surrounding you in the dreams. She said she came to understand of the darkness and light, how one complimented the other. How they completed the other, making a full circle. Like the yin and yang."

No one noticed the look the two witches exchanged as Giles said this last part.

"What she took for the meaning of the dreams was that in order for the two of you to heal and to forgive yourselves you needed to do it together. That even more importantly as she watched you two in the dreams together she felt that there was a rightness to it, a belonging, as if you two were separate, but still part of the other. So she was going to L.A. to talk with you Faith about coming back here. To see if you were strong enough, because she did not think that it would be easy.

"She knew that Buffy had not forgiven herself for stabbing you. Had not forgiven herself for any of it and had certainly not forgiven you Faith. She knew too Faith, that you would never really forgive yourself until Buffy forgave you. She was determined that you two would work things out and forgive each other. Only she never got the chance to come and see you Faith or to talk to you about it Buffy."

"Giles why didn't you or Angel tell me this when Faith first came back to Sunnydale?"

"Would you have listened Buffy? Would you have believed either of us? Or would you have convinced yourself that Faith had found some way to fool your Mother?"

"I..." She was going to say yes she would have believed them, but she knew that was a lie. "No. I'm ashamed to say I wouldn't have believed either of you. I was too determined not to believe Faith had changed. I am not even sure if I would have even believed Mom."

"She forgave me?" Faith whispered so softly only Buffy heard her.

Buffy smiled at Faith, she saw the unshed tears in her eyes. She knew that Faith regretted never having the chance to make things right with her Mom. Buffy sent up a silent thanks to her Mother, grateful for Faith's sake that her Mom had been able to see past her own anger and see who Faith really was.

"I have to say that seeing you two together I have to agree with Joyce." Giles watched the Chosen Two waiting for them to grasp the meaning and implications of his words.

"You... you... Giles you know? But how? When?" Buffy asked him, her arms still wrapped possessively and protectively around Faith.

Faith looked at Giles puzzled from where her head lay against Buffy shoulder, as her hand idly worried Buffy's workout shorts where it rested against Buffy's thigh. Though they had not spoken the words to each other, the moment they had become the keeper of each other's heart and soul, their actions had become natural to them, as if they had been born to be this way with each other. They were unconscious of the fact that there was indeed an air of _'rightness'_ about them, a belonging, when they were near each other.

Tara and Willow couldn't help but giggle at how inane Buffy's reaction to Giles' statement was. Even Giles couldn't help but smile.

"What's so funny?"

"Gee Buffy... I don't ever recall sitting on the couch quite that way with you." Willow told the Chosen Two between giggles.

The Slayers both turned bright red, but they did not move apart. At the same time, they both realized that being together for them was as natural as breathing and neither was ashamed of that, and they were no longer willing to hide it. Faith's hand sought out and found Buffy's at the same time that Buffy's was seeking hers.

"Giles?" Buffy questioned him, knowing he would know what she was asking.

"I do not have a problem with this Buffy. I have to agree with what your Mother said; there's a rightness about the two of you being together."

Buffy and Faith both looked at Giles a little bit amazed, they had expected that he would be at least a little uncomfortable about this. But, he showed not the slightest bit of discomfort and it thrilled both of them that he accepted them.

"What I do have a problem with however... is when one of you gets hurt because you have allowed your feelings for each other to distract you. Like today and when Faith ended up in the hospital a few weeks ago... Now..."

The Chosen Two and the two witches made themselves a little more comfortable as Giles started to talk. They knew he was right and further they knew he would go on about it for quite some time.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Giles there something we need to talk with you about, actually Will and Tara might be able to help as well." Buffy paused for a second trying to organize her thoughts.

"You know how Faith and I have always seemed to have had this connection as Slayers. You know being able to sense when the other was near, like how our Slayer senses go off when a vamp is near. How we could always read each other's emotions or feelings. Well it's become more than just that."

"What do you mean by more?"

"Well, we can sort of... not sort of... we can feel what each other is feeling. It's kind of like a muffled echo... But for me at least, it has been getting stronger. It's like our Slayer connection has evolved to be more."

"Faith this holds true for you as well?"

"Yeah."

"Can either of you give me an example?"

The Chosen Two looked at each other, they both blushed. For the most part this happened when they were making love; it was the most intense then as well. Over the last few weeks, it had become a part of both of them; they had both just accepted it. They could not read each other thoughts, but if they concentrated hard enough, they could send out their feelings to each other. They both knew they had to learn how to control it, how to block it if necessary, it could become a liability in a fight. If one of them got hurt and the other got distracted, or became frozen by what the other was feeling they would be of no help to each other, themselves or anyone else that was in danger.

"The day the council came here for me... I felt Buffy's fear, her anger, when I was in the back. It's why I came running out..."

"...Then I felt Faith's terror when she saw who they were. I also felt her fear that we would let them take her, only it wasn't fear that either Dawn or I would let them take her, but that the rest of you would. I concentrated on sending the calmness I was feeling to her..."

"...And I felt when Buffy did that. But I think it started before even then... I think it started the first time we did Tai Chi together."

"Why do you think that Faith?" It was a little disconcerting to have them finishing each other's sentences.

"When Angel first brought me back to the Hyperion, and we started doing Tai Chi in the morning together he used to share with me his peace, his tranquility. I am not really sure how to explain it, but... it was like he surrounded me with it. Later he taught me how to do it, how to open my mind, how to visualize it growing and surrounding not just me but anyone else I wanted. The first time Buffy and I did Tai Chi I could sense her turmoil so I visualized sharing my tranquility with her..."

"...And it worked but... actually the first time was in Angel's apartment the night you returned..."

"...Ever since I got back to Sunnydale I've felt that our Slayer connection was even stronger... Considering everything that had happened between us it was kind of weird... It's like somehow our Slayer connection was opened u..."

"The spell!" Willow shouted interrupting Faith. Besides, they were making her dizzy finishing each other's sentences like they had been doing. "The spell. The enjoining spell. How stupid... How could we not realize that it would affect Faith too? She's a Slayer... Dumb.. Dumb... And the o...h..nothing" Willow stopped herself looking at Tara. They shared a silent agreement not to say anything about what it was they saw, felt, and sensed about the two Slayers. They were in silent accord that this was something the Chosen Two should discover for themselves.

"I believe you may be correct Willow. That indeed may have something to do with it."

"Huh?" Faith looked around at them confused.

"Well, you see there was this evil thingie that the Initiative created called Adam..." Willow began.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"...So we did a spell called an enjoining spell. It required me, Xander, and Giles. What it did was give to Buffy our powers combined, as well as the source of the Slayer's powers. The Primeval One, the first Slayer, whom we now know is the source of power for all of the Slayers. I was the _'Spirit,'_ Giles the _'Mind' _and Xander the _'Heart,'_ the vessel, the strength, came from the Primeval One, in essence the power of all the Slayers including you, joined with Buffy. Although the first Slayer wasn't too happy that we joined with Buffy and evoked the essence or the power of the first Slayer. The first Slayer had this whole Garbo, _'I vant to be alone'_ thing going on."

"What Willow is suggesting sounds logical. We can do a little more research, although I am not sure what we will find, considering that as far as I know there has never been two living Slayers. However, I would suggest it is safe to say that the spell has served to open the connection between you two even more. Since you both share in the source of the power of the Slayer, and not as we original thought, that maybe Buffy had passed on part of her Slayer powers to Kendra, who in turn passed them to you Faith."

The Chosen Two looked at one another, it might be part of the reason behind this new connection, but somehow they knew there was more to it than just that. Time they knew would bring them their answer. Giles excused himself mumbling something about looking through the Watcher's diaries, his mind already working on this new twist to the Slayers' connection. Buffy decided it was a good time to make a quick escape.

"You ready to go home Faith?"

Faith's answer was to simply stand, pick Buffy up and start walking towards the door.

"I can walk you know, you don't have to carry me."

"I know. This makes me feel better. Besides, I like holding you. I'll take any excuse I can get to do it."

"You don't need an excuse to hold me Faith. You can do that any time you want. Trust me there will be no complaining going on from here."

Faith ducked her head down and tenderly kissed Buffy on the forehead. She gave her a lopsided grin and carried her out of the office. The Chosen Two were oblivious to the two witches who were smiling at them like indulgent parents.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Red rubies daffodils ~ Gentle breezes and windowsills ~ Starlight silver radiation ~ inside my mental television ~ An acid metamorphosis ~ An altered state of consciousness ~ Candy mansions of the soul ~ No compromises turn to gold ~ I must be spoiled and rotten ~ cause no one else will ever do ~ Don't you forget I get what I want ~ All I want is you - Darling Violetta

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	17. XVI – Eclipse

XVI – Eclipse

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy gently untangled herself from Faith. Faith mumbled a little protest as Buffy rose from the bed and then turned over onto her stomach mumbling some more in her sleep. She dropped a light kiss on the raven-haired Slayer's forehead thinking how young she looked while she slept. She looked at the clock and saw that she had an hour and a half before the sunrise, plenty of time for a quick shower. She had a restless sleep last night, things had been a little too quiet in Sunnydale lately and it was making her nervous. Even Faith had been more restless in her sleep then usual last night. Buffy put on her silk robe after the shower; towel dried her hair, quickly ran a brush through it and left the bathroom.

When she came out of the bathroom, she saw Faith had rolled over onto her back, one arm over her eyes, her other arm flung out wide to the side, the sheets tangled around her feet. How the hell could she look so young, innocent, hot, and sexy all at the same time? The sight of Faith lying naked on the bed banished any thoughts Buffy had of going right downstairs. The desire rose up strong, hot and fast in Buffy, and a wicked smile started to play across her face as an idea of how to wake up the raven-haired beauty laying upon the bed formed in her mind.

Buffy moved over to the bed, she crawled up onto it next to Faith sitting back on her calves. One thing she knew from being a Slayer herself was, when they slept deeply it was the sleep of the, well, of the dead. This would most definitely work to her advantage.

Starting with Faith's face Buffy began to run her hands over it contours, learning its shape, memorizing it with light touches of her fingertips. Running them along Faith's mouth, outlining her lips, which parted slightly at her touch. She leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on the sleeping Dark Slayer's mouth. Allowing her tongue to sneak out and trace tenderly along the parted lips. She let her fingers continue on their exploration down to Faith's neck keeping her touch light, delicate so as not to wake her.

Buffy ran the pads of her fingers down to Faith's pulse point, her lips whispering along the path of her fingers. She moved lower, using her hair to trail and brush over Faith's breasts, watching as her nipples harden from the wispy touches. Nimbly with a touch like air, she circled Faith's nipple with her fingers, and gather the other into her mouth. Using only the lightest of touches of her tongue, her lips upon it, Faith arched up into her mouth, her hand, a moan coming from her.

Buffy switched her mouth to Faith's other breast, blowing lightly on her nipple causing it to harden more, eliciting another moan from the sleeping raven-haired Slayer. Her other hand began to glide over Faith's body, barely touching her skin. She smiled as she saw Faith's legs part slightly as her hand drew closer to her center. Skimming her hand even lower down over Faith's thigh, she traced random little circles, her own fingertips tingling. She watched fascinated as the Dark Slayer's chest started to flush, as she become aroused while she slept. As Faith moved a little restlessly in her sleep, her breathing becoming a little erratic, just as her own was.

She ran her hand up the inside of Faith's thigh and smiled again as Faith parted her legs even more. She brushed across the curls that hid Faith's sex, not actually touching her. Her other hand still teasing Faith's nipple, gliding over it with fingertips like feathers, tracing along her ribcage up over her collarbone and shoulders. Always gently, always lightly.

Delving in deeper into the now moist curls of Faith's center, to nimbly explore, and lightly touch her. Buffy's touch more akin to the caress of a warm breeze. Faith's breath started to become even more erratic, her hips rising up to meet Buffy's hand. Her own desire rose up ferociously, even quicker than the Dark Slayer's. Slowly so as not to wake her, she gently sought entrance into Faith's wet heat, starting a shallow unhurried rhythm, carefully deepening it with each thrust of her finger. Her thumb came up lightly to circle the Dark Slayer's clit. Even sleeping Faith's hips rose to match her rhythm and she risked adding another finger.

As Faith started to press up harder into her hand, Buffy slid her body up and over her. Straddling one of Faith's legs, she moaned as her own wetness came into contact with Faith's thigh. Running her lips over the Dark Slayer's neck, her tongue catching the sweat that had begun to glisten on Faith's skin, she increased the speed of her hand as she felt Faith begin to clutch at her fingers, increasing the pressure of her thumb against her clit. Faith surged up harder into her hand, raising her knees, slamming her thigh up hard into Buffy's own throbbing center.

"B!" Faith moaned, waking on a sea of pleasure.

Faith struggled to open her eyes as she felt the heat coiling inside of her, and the slick feel of Buffy's own hot core, sliding against her thigh. Buffy looked into Faith's sleepy eyes and brought her mouth down in a hot open kiss, moaning into Faith's mouth as Faith brought one arm around her to pull her closer, rolling them to their sides. Faith's other hand slid down to Buffy's heat, her hand instantly soaked, sliding easily into Buffy's wetness, her palm pressing up into Buffy's swollen nub.

At Faith's touch upon her Buffy went wild. Bringing another finger into play, Buffy thrust harder, faster and deeper into Faith. Her thumb circling faster, pressing into the Dark Slayer harder, as Faith hips rocked back meeting her with equal force. Buffy's own desire rose up even faster, just a few touches from Faith and she was out of control.

Buffy's orgasm snuck up on her crashing into her with the same impact as a tractor-trailer, she wrenched her mouth away from Faith's, yelling out her name. She heard Faith laugh softly, then yell out her own name as Buffy tweaked her clit again, pumping into her with a force and speed that would have hurt a normal person. Causing Faith to thrust into Buffy more forcefully, back and forth it went, until neither had anything left and Buffy sank into Faith's warm embrace.

"Wow... I could wake up like that every day for the rest of my life." Faith laughed softly, rolling them over so that she was on top, gazing down at Buffy.

"I could wake you up like that for the rest of your life. Seems I don't have much control where you're concerned."

Buffy blushed, she was a little embarrassed. So much for her plan of waking Faith, one touch from Faith and it was she who had lost all control.

"So I noticed," Faith chuckled. Seeing the embarrassed look on Buffy's face, Faith's gaze softened and a questioning look came to her eyes.

"What's wrong B?" She asked softly.

"Well... I wanted to you know... wake you up... God you were barely even awake and I lost my control... I don't know... I just..."

"B. What? You're embarrassed 'cause you..." Faith trailed off trying to figure out how to say it without sounding crude or making it seem less then what it was. "B, it's flattering that just touching me gets you that way. 'Cause touching you certainly makes me feel that way. This isn't about _'Getting some, and getting gone,'_ or who gets off the most or first. It's about us being together, about what we feel when we're together, how we make each other feel. Just a look from you is all I need; you make me feel things I never even dreamed were possible. Even if we never made love again, just being able to hold you every night would be enough for me for the rest of my life."

It was the closest Faith had ever come to telling Buffy she loved her, and in a way, she just did. She was afraid to say those words to Buffy, afraid because of all the times they had been thrown back in her face. Afraid even to hear them because of the times they had been said to her, and the meaning, the intent behind them was warped and ugly. Somehow, Faith knew that Buffy understood this. She didn't doubt that Buffy was in love with her, and Faith knew that Buffy knew she was in love with her as well. Maybe it was just the connection they shared as Slayers, and, or maybe the odd echoing of feelings they were sharing with each other. It didn't really matter where it was coming from, because Faith just knew.

Buffy cupped Faith's face in her hands and drew her down to her for a gentle kiss.

"How did you get to be so smart Faith?"

"I had a good teacher B." Faith leaned down and kissed Buffy tenderly.

"I'm thinking that I should show you nice and slow just how good a teacher you are..." Faith murmured low and husky.

"Mmmm. Sounds good to me..." Buffy laughed softly pulling Faith back down to her...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Dawn got out of bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, not even wondering what she was doing awake this early, the sun wasn't even up yet. She walked over to the window that overlooked the garden and opened the curtains. She looked down into the garden already knowing what, or rather, who she would see. Her sister and Faith were curled up in one of the lounge chairs. She could see that they were talking and giggling, and she smiled, glad for both of them. There was something so fitting about the two of them being together, even at fourteen she knew that. She could only hope that one day she would find someone who fit with her the same way that Buffy and Faith fit together.

Dawn knew that they watched the sunrise every morning. When she had asked them why, they had told her it was in a sense, a way of giving thanks that they got to see another day. That the dawning of the new day brought to them hope that today would be better than yesterday.

Though they very rarely talked about it, they all lived with the knowledge that any given night either Buffy, Faith, or both could die, it was the harsh reality of being a Slayer, and being the Slayer's sister, and now the other Slayer's sister-in-law. A reality that Dawn probably hated more than both the Slayers combined. Before her Mom had died, death had not been real to her in any sense of the word, but that had all changed. So like her sister and Faith she had recently started rising before the sunrise, and giving thanks to whomever was in charge for giving not only just her sister another day but Faith as well. Giving thanks for having two such caring people in her life, and thanks that they had managed to find each other, and for the love they had found together.

Dawn headed downstairs to join her sister and Faith in the garden. She laughed a little when she saw the surprised look on their faces. Buffy beckoned her sister to join them on the lounge chair. She pulled Dawn down beside her; both Slayers looked curiously at Dawn. Dawn shrugged her shoulders.

"I figured it was time I joined in the family tradition." She said simply and was rewarded with a welcoming smile from her sister and Faith, as they waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They were up on the roof of the dorm, the same rooftop where Tara had taught her about the stars. Well, her version of what the stars were. Willow could remember that night clearly. The two of them sitting on the roof, Tara's head close to hers as Tara pointed and traced the outline of the stars telling Willow her names for them...

_'See those stars over there? 'Cow With Three Udders'. And that's 'Moose Getting a Sponge Bath,' 'The Short Man Looking Uncomfortable'. 'The Little Pile 0' Crackers'... That one's a bit of a stretch..'_

_"_******

Sitting up on the roof that night with Tara, Willow had felt a closeness to her that she had never felt with anyone else. That was why Willow, after deciding to take a page from Faith's book, chose to have the sunrise picnic up here. When the witches had agreed to set up everything for Faith the morning she and Buffy returned to the apartment the Mayor had given Faith; Faith had explained to the two witches why that time of day was special to them. It was the time of the day, Faith had said, that brought hope to both her and Buffy. Both witches had come to the realization that they shared this feeling with the Chosen Two. How could anyone not, that lived on the Hellmouth?

Willow leaned back against the building and held out her arms to Tara. Tara moved quickly into Willow's embrace. They stayed holding each other in comfortable silence as they waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

He leaned against the counter waiting for the kettle to whistle. He had given up on sleeping about fifteen minutes ago. He was too restless. For some reason he felt the need to watch the sunrise. It had been quite a long time since he had done that, but he remembered in his youth, watching the sun rise and set, had been one of his favorite pastimes. The kettle's whistle startled him out of his memories. He poured the hot water into the large mug, added a teaspoon of sugar and a drop of milk. He left the tea bag in the cup.

Picking up the mug, he made his way out of the kitchen and through the living room. He opened the double doors out to the garden. He walked over to the table and set his mug down.

With a sigh, Giles sat down taking a sip of his tea as he waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Spike ran as fast as he could back to his crypt. He didn't have a whole hell of a lot of time before he would be burning like a piece of bacon in a skillet. He had just left the Mansion where he had been spying on the Slayers. He had been surprised, to say the least, when he had seen Dawn join them in their morning vigil.

He had been watching them the last few weeks, running for his crypt from either the Mansion or the Summers' house. It was his way of making sure that they were safe, that they had made it through the night and would be there the next day. Only once had he left early and that had been the morning he had dubbed _'Fun-with-Fruit.'_ The demon in him had howled all the way home in protest, it had wanted to stay and watch, hell it had wanted to join in the fun. The other side of him, which he was truly starting to believe was his awaking soul, admonished him to leave. The Slayers deserved their privacy, and that part of him was now the controlling part of Spike and after all these years, he rather liked it.

No one had to tell him what the morning ritual meant to the Chosen Two, because for him it meant the same things. He crashed through the door of the crypt quickly closing it. He saw the clock on the wall and laughed softly, he still had a half hour. He dragged his club chair over to the far corner and moved over to the window. He drew aside the black curtain letting in the pale pre-dawn light.

Spike walked back over to the chair and sat down gratefully, smiling as he waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Xander walked out of the bathroom, already dressed for work. He looked at Anya sleeping in the bed and a smile lit up his face. Who would have thought that he would ever be in love with a twelve-hundred year old ex-vengeance demon? And love her he did, with a passion that sometimes scared him. What was even more amazing to him was that she loved him too.

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Anya lips and jumped a little in surprise when her arms came up to hold him.

"Morning," she whispered to him.

"Morning to you too. What are you doing up?"

"Not sure. Couldn't sleep."

Anya followed him into the kitchen and Xander poured them both a cup of coffee.

"Why don't we sit outside on the balcony and drink our coffee. I have a little bit of time before I have to leave for work, we could enjoy the sunrise together," Xander suggested and was rewarded with a bright smile from Anya.

Xander pulled their chairs close together. He held out his hand to Anya after they sat down, she placed her hand in his.

Holding hands, they sat in silence as they waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Gunn was sitting on the hood of his tricked out truck. He had been up all night thinking. While he felt good about everything he had done helping out Cordy, Wesley, and Angel, he was still tormented with guilt about leaving his crew. He still felt responsible for them. He had led them, taken care of them, kept them safe for so long, how could he not?

The weight of each one of his crew that had died since he left weighed heavy on his shoulders and in his heart. There was a part of him that felt if he had been there they might still be alive. He knew he was torturing himself, but he couldn't help it. There was an accusatory look in his former crews' eyes whenever he ran into them, and he had trouble returning their stares.

He knew he had a decision to make, and so he sat mulling over everything as he waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Wesley Wyndam-Price fumbled for his glasses on his bedside table. Christ, he groaned, what the hell was he doing wide-awake at this hour? His sleep had been restless ever since he had been put in charge of Angel Investigations. He couldn't help wonder if he was capable of leading their little group. He had been a _'Watcher'_ for so long that his first thought was research not action, not just sometimes, but almost ninety-nine percent of the time and that he knew wasn't good, it got people killed. He rose from his bed and put on a pot of coffee knowing that sleep would not come to him again this night.

He opened the blinds that covered the sliding glass door. Wesley curled himself up on the couch, sipping his black coffee as he waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

This was so not good for her complexion. The visions were bad enough, but now this not being able to sleep; well, it certainly didn't help the dark circles under her eyes. Cordelia might have changed the way she saw the world, and how she treated the people in it, but she still had a little bit of her old vanity in her. She liked when she looked good and she absolutely hated it when she looked bad. Silently she mused to herself a few dark circles though were worth the price of helping to save the innocent.

She took the robe that Dennis floated over to her when he saw her shiver. She was lonely even if she did have Dennis; it had felt like forever since she had been involved with anyone. She longed for a time when there was someone in her life, someone to be there to hold her in the night, someone to curl up into in the morning, someone to come home to. She often wondered if she would ever find anyone again, it wasn't like she was just some ordinary girl anymore.

With a heavy sigh, she walked over to the window, and crawled up on the ledge leaning her head against the cold pane of the window as she waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

He stood at the edge of the roof like he did every morning. He was restless, his thoughts echoing Buffy's, that it had been too quiet lately. He was so jaded and cynical that he couldn't just relax and enjoy the peacefulness of the last week or so. He didn't want to think it, but something was coming, he could almost smell it with his vampire senses. He tried to shake himself of these thoughts, but it was to no avail.

He thought about Faith instead, the last time he had spoken to her he could hear the happiness clearly in her voice. His heart was genuinely glad for Faith and for Buffy. They deserved whatever love and happiness they could find together and he did not begrudge either of them it. He knew Faith still had secrets that she kept, secrets that were buried deep inside of her, but he felt with Buffy's love and his help that someday Faith would finally be able to speak of them, finally be able to lay them to rest.

He missed having Faith here to share the sunrise with him, he just missed her in general. She was the only person he had felt comfortable with in a very long time. Maybe he would pay them a visit soon.

He let out a breath that he didn't have, clearing his mind and let himself find his center.

Angel felt the peace and tranquility surround him in the pale pre-dawn light as he waited for the sun to rise.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

In silence, two Slayers, nine ordinary, and not so ordinary people, a vampire who believed his soul was beginning to awaken, and a vampire with a soul, turned their faces up to the sky, and waited for the sunrise to bring them the promises of the new day, with hope in their hearts, both beating, and not-beating, that today would be a better day than yesterday.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Not one of them heard the dawn as it whispered to them of the coming storm; after today it would be a long time before any of the promises brought by the new day were fulfilled or anyone from Sunnydale or L.A. had hope in their hearts.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

All that you touch ~ All that you see ~ All that you taste ~ All that you feel ~ All that you love ~ All that you hate ~ All you distrust ~ All that you save ~ All that you give ~ All that you deal ~All that you buy, beg, borrow or steal ~ All you create ~ All you destroy ~ All that you do ~ All that you say ~ All that you eat everyone you meet ~ All that you slight everyone you fight ~ All that is now ~ All that is gone ~ All that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune ~ but the sun is eclipsed by the moon. - Pink Floyd

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	18. XVII – This Twilight Garden

XVII – This Twilight Garden

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She stood waiting in the hallway for the class to let out. She was sad, funny, she never thought she would be sad about not going to school. But having to drop out of school this semester just brought back to her the grief, fresh and painful of her Mom's death.

She and Faith had their first real fight this morning about her dropping out of school. Buffy sighed; the day had started out so nicely, fantastic actually. First, with her waking up Faith, then later as Dawn for the first time had joined them to watch the sunrise. Buffy pulled herself away from all the painful memories as the students filed out of the classroom. She entered the class and saw Professor Lillian trying to get a jammed slide cartridge out of the projector.

"Um, Professor Lillian?"

"Sitting in the back today, Buffy?" He asked as he looked up at her.

"No. I'm sorry I missed the lecture... Was it good? I mean, I'm sure it was..." Buffy felt a little embarrassed and dropped her eyes from him and looked at the projector instead. "Want me to try?" She asked him a little hesitantly.

"Thanks. The cartridge is stuck."

A minute ticked by as Buffy fiddled with the projector, she took deep breaths, and tried to push down her reeling emotions.

"I actually just came by to tell you that I have to drop this class. All my classes. I'm not finishing the semester." Her voice was sad and she was unable to hide the emotion or keep it from showing on her face. "I'm sorry. I wish... but I can't be in school now. I've got to take care of my sister."

"I thought you might... I was sorry to hear of your loss." He returned her smile with a sad one of his own. He knew how she felt; he had lost loved ones too.

Buffy absently nodded her thanks to him. She continued to fiddle with the projector a second or two longer and then stopped.

"Um, so I have these forms from the Registrar's office that I need you to sign..." She took the form out of her bag and handed it to him, her hand trembling slightly. She waited for him to sign it.

"Seems like they're trying to make it harder to get out of college than to get in," he said as he handed the form back to her.

"Thanks."

He looked quizzically at her, thinking she looked a little lost. She was a little lost. She looked back at him, still not leaving.

"Is there something else?" His voice was soft, gentle, soothing.

"Oh no... Yes... Actually, yeah. I wanted to tell you how much I loved this class. It's like, in the middle of all this, I'm paranoid that you'll think I don't like poetry."

Buffy began to try to free the jammed slide cartridge again as she rambled...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Ben was running down the hallway of the hospital towards another doctor. Trying to smooth his rumpled hair, he looked like he had just crawled out of bed; his clothes even more rumpled than his hair.

"Benjamin, this is a pleasant surprise."

"I'm sorry I'm late," he said hurriedly.

"You're not late."

Ben looked at his watch and looked back up at the doctor who was practically smirking at him.

"But sir..."

"You can't be late to a job you don't have. Interestingly enough, I've decided to give your job to someone who'd actually do it." The doctor was now openly smirking; his voice and stance were ironic. "Honest to God Ben, I've been calling you for two weeks. Where the hell have you been? I didn't want to...I'm sorry to fire you, but I need someone I can count on."

_'Two weeks? I've been gone two weeks?'_ He was confused.

"I haven't been here..." Ben was stunned, as the reality of the situation started to dawn on him. That fucking bitch he thought silently. "I haven't been here in two weeks. There's an explanation for this... Which I can't exactly give you. I... can I just tell you it's not my fault?"

"Sure. You can also tell me that the dog ate your homework; or maybe eating Twinkies made you do it; or maybe, yeah, that there's a really wicked demonic creature living inside you that takes control of your body and forces you to do its bidding." The doctor paused in his sarcastic retort. His voice got hard, "Take responsibility for your actions, Ben..."

Ben was furious, he was going to find a way to kill her, he swore silently to himself. The doctor kept talking at him, he vaguely heard himself replying, but it was a blur, his mind too consumed by thoughts of killing Glory. The doctor was asking him for his ID badge. He took off his badge and stared at it for a moment, it was the one thing that had given him some identity of his own separate from Glory, he tossed it at the doctor, saying bitterly; "Take it. It's worthless anyway."

Ben wandered aimlessly around the hospital for a little while. He was furious, beyond furious; he entered the locker room, a heavy sigh escaping him. He opened his locker, started shoveling his belongings into his duffel bag muttering in anger under his breath, emotionally he was a mess.

"This is so unfair. You're taking everything away from me. Everything that I worked for. I earned. I care about. These are my choices. This is my life, and you're ruining it." He stopped his ranting, putting his hand over his stomach. He felt it, he felt her, the panic started rising up in him, the anger draining away to be replaced by terror.

"No...no...not here...not now. Please." He pleaded to no one, covering his face with his hands. He began to chant his name like it was a mantra.

"I'm Ben. I'm Ben. I'm Ben. I'm Ben. I'm Ben!"

He smashed his fist against the locker door as if to emphasis, to prove that he really was _'Ben'_.

**"I'M BEN! I'M BEN! I'M BEN!"** He yelled, but he wasn't strong enough. He watched in horror as his hand started to tremble and begin to change. To morph, like a vampire morphing into game face. His fingers became thinner, like a woman's, he whimpered as the nails grew longer and suddenly there was red polish on them. They started to drum against the locker impatiently. Even though he tried to stop them, they continued. He felt the change speed up, and he began to fade...

She ran her hands down her body, then back up to smooth down her hair.

"I'm hungry," Glory told the empty locker room rather grouchily.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Hey Bumble Bee."

"Hey Gary," Buffy answered him as she walked towards the gate to the garden. "I was hoping I would run into you or James today."

"Really? Why? What's up?"

"We're having the gang over tonight for a little BBQ. We were hoping that you two would join us."

"Sounds great. What time? And what would you like us to bring?"

"Five is fine. And the only thing you need to bring is yourselves."

"Okay, we'll be there with bells on," Gary laughed.

Buffy waved goodbye and walked into the garden, closing the gate softly behind her. Faith was stretched out on a lounge chair on her stomach, in nothing but a bikini thong, she was, Buffy saw, sound asleep. Her body slick with tanning oil and Buffy knew the only reason she even had a thong on was because Faith didn't think it would be a good idea for Dawn to catch her sunbathing in the nude. She walked over to Faith and stood beside her, looking down at her.

Having to drop out of school today just made the reality that her Mom was really gone even harder to bare. In a way, she felt guilty, like she hadn't grieved enough, guilty that she had found love so soon after her Mom's death. As if her dying hadn't meant anything, as if it were nothing, guilty that she could move on so easily. It was probably why she had been so harsh with Faith this morning. Buffy heard their argument again in her head...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"You don't have to drop out this semester B."_

_"Yes I do Faith. I need to be here for Dawn. I need to take care of her."_

_"I know that, but I can help. I can watch out for her when you're not here."_

_"It's not the same thing," Buffy wasn't even sure what the hell she was talking about._

_"I know that. I realize I'm not her sister. But I love Dawn like she were my own sister. You can trust me to take care of her." _

_Buffy got mad in that second, she wasn't sure why, but it didn't stop her from feeling that way._

_"How the hell would you know how to take care of her Faith? I don't even know what I'm doing. So how the hell could I trust you to do the right thing? Huh Faith?" She saw the hurt in Faith's eyes and instantly regretted what she said. She knew Faith was reading too much into her words, knew Faith thought she was referring to the past when she mentioned trust. Shit! That wasn't what she meant at all, she was taking her own insecurities about taking care of Dawn and projecting them onto Faith. Christ, she was scared, confused, and feeling way out of her league. Why didn't Faith know that? Why wasn't she feeling that? _

_Faith felt it all, got those goddamn fucking echoes and totally misinterpreted them._

_"I love Dawn, Buffy. I would never do anything to hurt her." Faith said sadly. _

_Again, the anger came over Buffy and she didn't know why. Faith looked like she had been slapped, and Buffy knew she felt the anger coming from her._

_"Faith... That's not what I..."_

_"That's exactly what you mean B. Fuck it. I wouldn't trust her with me either. Forget it... I thought I could help... Thought I was part of the family... Stupid me... " Faith's voice held no anger, it sounded almost defeated, resigned. _

_Buffy took a step towards Faith, her anger leaving instantly, but Faith moved away from her. _

_"I gotta go Giles is waiting for me." Faith turned and started walking towards the door._

_"Faith! Wait! We need to talk about this..." Faith ignored her and kept walking, and Buffy let her. _

_"Fuck it; with the childhood I had I'd probably do more damage than good anyway." Faith mumbled before she slammed the door closed behind her._

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy blinked her eyes rapidly, hearing those last words of Faith's echoing in her head, and her eyes traveled down the length of Faith's back stopping at the crisscross of scars that were right above her buttocks, and the few that traveled down further. They were faded, old, and thin, scars Faith had gotten long before she had been called. Scars that were almost nonexistent, Faith's Slayer healing having faded them more than they normally would. But even her Slayer healing couldn't make them go completely away. Buffy might not have even noticed them at all if it weren't for being a Slayer herself.

And the scars on her back weren't the only old scars Faith had either.

There was one that looked like a cigarette burn high up on the underside of her arm by her armpit. There were other lighter scars around Faith's left shoulder blade, more on her thighs, even a few on the backs of her calves. And two that made Buffy quiver at the thought of the pain they must have caused Faith. She had not seen them until the day she and Faith had made love outside in the bright afternoon sun. They were high up on the inside of her right thigh, lighter than the others, older, more faded. At first Buffy didn't know what they were, and then she felt horror come over her when she realized they were two sets of bite marks. In that second of realization Buffy felt red-hot hatred a hundred times worse than what she had felt when she had first seen the other scars. The hatred was directed solely at whoever had made those marks on Faith. She had and still wanted to rip that person to pieces with her bare hands, wanted to make them suffer long and painfully for what they had done to Faith.

It was the scars on Faith's lower back that she had noticed first, she had almost missed them they were so light, thin, and faded. She had started to trace along them with her fingers, trying to soothe away whatever pain was associated with them, knowing instinctively that Faith had not gotten them from anything Slayer related. Faith had instantly stiffened under her gentle fingers, and Buffy had been hit with an echoe so hard it made her gasp. The terror, the pain and the shame coming from Faith, had made her dizzy. She had quickly moved her fingers away from the spot, and scooted up to pull Faith into her arms.

"Faith?" She had questioned softly.

"I can't... Please... I can't..."

"Sssh. It's okay... It's okay baby... You don't have to..."

She had held Faith until she stopped trembling and drifted off into sleep.

When she was sure that Faith was sleeping, she had let go the tears she had been holding back. Tears for the pain, the hurt, the abuse that had been inflicted on Faith. Tears for the shame, the pain, the hurt, the fear that Faith still felt because of what had been done to her. Tears for the scars that she could not see with her eyes, that she knew were permanently etched upon Faith's soul. She had never tried to push Faith into talking about them or about what had been done to her. She just hoped someday, with time, as Faith learned to trust her more and more that she would come to her. Tell her what had happened, so together they could help her heal; help her finally lay those demons to rest.

Buffy blinked her eyes rapidly coming out of the memory. She smiled softly at the sleeping beauty that owned her heart and soul. She sat down next to her, and gently ran her hand over her back.

"Faith..." Buffy said softly.

"B?" Faith said sleepily. She sat up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She grabbed the T-shirt by the chair and pulled it over her head.

She looked like she'd been crying.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean it this morning. I didn't mean it to sound how it sounded. I do trust you Faith. I know you would never do anything to hurt Dawn. I'm just confused. I'm scared. I don't know what I'm doing. I miss Mom. I'm afraid of screwing up Dawn's life, afraid of making mistakes. It all feels so out of my control. I know how to be a Slayer, a sister, a friend, but I haven't any idea how to be a parent and I'm scared and I took it out on you. I got angry and I don't know why. I know that you love Dawn..." As she said those last three words to Faith, it became clear to her why she got angry.

She had gotten angry because Faith had no problem telling her that she loved Dawn, or saying it to Dawn for that matter. Faith could say it to Angel, but she couldn't say it her. It wasn't that Buffy doubted that Faith loved her, was in love with her, because she believed that with every part of soul. It was that she needed to hear it sometimes, she needed to hear it this morning, when she was feeling so insecure, feeling so alone. She needed to know that someone loved her no matter what, and it wasn't until now that Buffy realized how much she wanted, needed to hear those words from Faith. But she wouldn't push her, knowing it was true was just going to have to be enough. Because after what happened when Buffy had first discovered the scars, she was now more than ever convinced that those words had been used to hurt and punish Faith. She would just have to keep trying to show her with her actions the real meaning of those three words.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come back B." Faith voice was so soft, Buffy almost didn't hear her.

Buffy gathered Faith into her arms, stroking her hair, holding her tight to her.

"Not come back? How could I not come back? It was just a fight; you had to know that with both our tempers that sooner or later we would have one. Hell, we'll probably have a lot of them. Stubborn as we are, both of us always thinking we're right. But not coming back never entered my mind. Just like it never entered my mind that you wouldn't be here when I got back. Don't you know by now that I want to spend the rest of my life with you and if there is an afterlife I want to spend that with you too?" Buffy pulled back a little so she could look into Faith's eyes. "Just so there is never any misunderstanding again. Just because we fight, or because I get angry, don't ever think I won't come back. I will always come back. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Faith. I can't imagine even having a life without you in it."

Faith let out a sigh, "I'm new at this relationship stuff. I'm use to people just leaving. It's been that way my whole life. I'm sorry. I let my old insecurities get the best of me. I was too busy jumping to conclusions to listen to you, to understand what you were going through. I'm sorry and I'll try not to do it again... And B... I couldn't imagine a life without you in it either."

Buffy smiled at Faith, and was rewarded with a smile in return, a smile so bright it was almost blinding.

"That's good F. You know why?" Faith just shook her head no at Buffy. "Cause I wasn't gonna give you a choice. You're stuck with me whether you like it or not."

"That's okay. Cause ya know what B?" This time Buffy shook her head no at Faith. "Being stuck with you, I like it. I like it a lot."

"Good! Here something else new about this relationship stuff." Buffy started as she stood drawing Faith up from the lounge chair and leading her towards the house. "After a fight comes the fun part."

"The fun part?"

"After the fight comes the making up. Something which I can't wait to teach you."

Faith felt a shudder of desire go right through her at the husky tone of Buffy's voice. She couldn't wait for Buffy to teach her about the making up part either.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Thinkin' I like this making up stuff a lot B." Faith rose from the bed stretching her lean body, she laughed when she saw the gleam return to Buffy's sleepy eyes.

Buffy sat up, reached out and pulled Faith to her, then lifted her, so that Faith was facing her, straddling her thighs.

"Wasn't quite finished making up yet." She murmured in Faith's ear, her tongue snaking out to trace along the outer shell. Buffy smiled against Faith's neck as she slid her mouth down and felt a shudder of desire go through Faith.

"Hmmm. I think we already made up six or seven times so far B." Faith moaned out as Buffy leaned her back and captured one of her nipples between her teeth.

Buffy sat back up abruptly grinning at Faith, she shrugged her shoulders, "Well... I suppose you're right. I mean I understand if you're not up for anymore making up... You youngins just don't have any stamina... Maybe I should ask Giles to start your stamina training again."

By the time Buffy had finished speaking Faith had pushed her gently, but firmly, back until she was lying on the bed.

Faith leaned down, and brought her mouth down on Buffy's, she whispered softly against Buffy's lips, before her tongue sought entrance. "Didn't say I didn't wanna keep making up B. Just said we already did a few times. We'll see who needs stamina training before we're finished making up."

Buffy flipped them over so that she was on top. She broke off the kiss and sat up straddling Faith's hips. She ran her hands down the column of Faith's neck, across her shoulder blades, down over her arms to her wrists.

"Faith baby..."

"Yeah B..."

"Was that a challenge? 'Cause that sounded like a challenge to me," Buffy said sweetly, running her hands back up Faith's arms.

"What?" Faith was having a hard time concentrating with that hot little body sitting on her. Buffy was rocking herself slowly against Faith's hips. She doubted Buffy even knew she was doing it. Faith ran her hands up Buffy's thighs to her hips. Gently she encouraged her to rock more, watching through half closed eyes as Buffy arched into her touch.

"You know about who was going to need stamina training..." Buffy was giving Faith that wicked, down right fucking evil grin of hers.

_'Oh No! I'm in trouble now. Oh but I like this kind of trouble! Like it a lot!'_ Faith thought, and then couldn't help herself, as she returned a wicked and evil grin herself.

She practically purred to Buffy, "Think you're up to the challenge B?"

"Oh I know I am F," Buffy purred back. Grabbing Faith's hands from her hips, she slowly dragged them up her own body, sliding them over her breasts.

"You... ah... sure... B?" Faith groaned out as Buffy slowly stretched her arms up and over her head. Buffy slid her body down, nudging Faith's legs apart, laying between them, bringing her heat down onto Faith's, laying almost fully upon her. Faith couldn't help herself as she instinctively lifted her hips into Buffy's.

" y... y..." Buffy rotated her hips slowly, pressing her heat hard into Faith's, with each drawn out word. Faith groaned with each circular rotation of Buffy's heat against her. She bent her knees, opening herself further to Buffy. Deciding she liked this game, Buffy continued. "O n e... d... t... u p... f o r... i t... h..."

She continued to smile down at Faith, locking their eyes. She kept up the slow circular motion of her hips, sliding against Faith, hot skin against hot skin, breasts brushing against breasts, wet heat on wet heat, sliding easier with each circular motion as their bodies became slippery with sweat. Faith was rising up to greet her giving back as good as she got, struggling a little to get her arms free, and Buffy just pressed down harder, holding her there.

Buffy got lost in those expressive eyes. Eyes that were staring back at her with so much love, that it made her breath catch. She got so caught up in what she was feeling coming to her from Faith, that she stopped moving. She slid her hands back down Faith's arms, rising up slightly to rest on her elbows.

"What B? Giving up so soon?" Faith smirked.

The smirked died on Faith's face when she saw how Buffy was looking at her, and her breath caught in return. Faith lifted her hand and lightly caressed the side of Buffy's face; she slid her hand down Buffy's neck, over her shoulder, down her back, and brought her other arm around and pulled Buffy down to her, holding her tightly.

"No. Not giving up. I... just..." - _I just want to tell you I love you Faith and not have you be afraid of that._ - "I don't want to play who has more stamina... I just want to make love with you." Buffy's words wrapped around Faith like a tender caress.

Faith ran her hands up to cup Buffy's face, as Buffy leaned down towards her. She mumbled breathlessly against Buffy lips, "It's all I've ever wanted..." a second before Buffy gave her one of the most, tender, gentle, loving, sensuous kisses of her life.

Faith's hands ran up behind Buffy's neck, tangling in her hair, deepening the kiss, wanting it to last forever. Her whole body was quivering, a searing heat ran through her, and she was getting the same echo from Buffy.

Buffy leaned up a little on her elbows again, not breaking the kiss, her body was trembling, flushed, and she wanted it to never end. She began to circle her hips again unhurriedly, as if they had all the time in the world.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It seemed like they had been moving against each other for hours. Sliding, thrusting, touching, kissing, caressing. As their hands touched, fingers explored, learning each other's curves, the silken texture of the other's skin as if for the first time.

Kissing with passion, teasingly, tongues dueling, tasting skin that glistened with sweat and desire. Kissing with tenderness, with love, with lust and with desire. Hands and mouths that left no part of each other untouched, unloved, tasted, explored, or caressed.

They took each other up to the peak, eased each other down, time and again, not wanting this to end. Building up each other's desire even higher. Together they gave and took, neither one fighting for dominance or control, sharing the echoes of what the other was feeling, increasing the searing desire that was between them, they took each other to new heights. Not seeking release, not yet, wanting to stay on the crest, to stay there forever.

"Oh... God... B..." Faith said between breaths that she couldn't seem to catch. Buffy was above her again pressing, circling, rotating, her heat on her. She was being overwhelmed with what Buffy was making her feel, overwhelmed with the feelings that Buffy was sending to her in those odd echoes.

Buffy rose up again on her elbows, knowing her arms would not support her, she gazed down at Faith locking their eyes. She moved upon Faith in the same unhurried way as what had felt like only minutes, but hours at the same time. The need for release was screaming through her body, screaming through Faith's, but still they both held back, building each other up higher, seeking something, neither sure what it was they wanted, needed, just knowing it was there. Buffy wasn't even sure anymore what were her own feelings, and what were Faith's, they flowed together, merging increasing in intensity.

"Tell me..." She managed to gasp out. "Tell me what you're feeling Faith."

"Don't... know if I can..." Faith wrapped her legs around Buffy opening more to her, bringing her down harder into her. Not sure anymore where Buffy ended and she began. Moaning and rising up into Buffy as they slid against each other's wet heat.

"I can feel you... Feel what you're feeling... Can you feel me?" Buffy lifted her hips slightly sliding her hand down between their bodies. Moaning as her fingers delved into Faith's molten drenched center. Tremors ran through her own body as Faith let out a little scream when she touched her.

Faith's legs fell from Buffy's waist as she surged up hard against Buffy's hand, forcing the back of it into contact with Buffy's own oversensitive core, causing Buffy to scream in return.

"Can feel you... feel it all... not sure anymore... what's me...what's you... just know you make me feel wanted..." Faith closed her eyes her whole body straining, arching up into Buffy. Her arms came around Buffy pulling her down to her rolling them over to their sides. Their legs entwined, as she slid her own hand down the length of Buffy's body, slowly sliding her fingers into her slick center. "...you make me feel beautiful... make me feel whole..."

Slowly they brought each other up to the edge for the last time, still not wanting this exquisite torture to end. They were both trembling, shaking, quivering with need. Faith's heart was racing, her breathing ragged, there was molten lava flowing under her skin, through every cell in her body.

"Faith... Open you eyes... I... need to see you... Need to see what you're feeling... Please..."

Faith forced her eyes open and looked into Buffy's. What she saw there was all she needed to go spiraling over the edge. The feeling was so intense, so powerful she couldn't even scream, she gasped out Buffy's name as her body arched like a tightly strung bow into Buffy's. It was frightening it was so out of her control, she almost wanted to pull back from it.

"God you're beautiful..." Buffy felt Faith's climax echo through her and she went over the edge with her. The echoes she was getting from Faith joining with her own feelings sending her higher. She was breathless from the feelings, awed by them, every part of her bathing in them.

What Buffy was feeling crashed into Faith, intensifying what she was already feeling a hundred times. It was overwhelming her, she was helpless, was scared by all she was feeling, and afraid she was going to pass out from all of it.

"B..." Buffy's arms came around her immediately, understanding without being told what was happening.

"It's okay... got you... safe... stay with me..." Buffy mumbled out, pulling Faith close, soothing her, encourage her, bringing her even higher with her.

Faith fell into those arms, feeling safe, feeling loved, and went with Buffy, tumbling, giving up her control. Faith let herself be swept away by Buffy, by what she was feeling, what Buffy was feeling, swept away by what they made each other feel.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith lay holding Buffy, stroking her hair, pressing her head tighter to her chest, to her heart. She was still stunned, amazed, humbled, even a little scared by what had happened between them. Each time they were together it became so much more. Each time they were together a little bit of the fear she felt that this would all go away became less. Each time they were together a little more of the pain, the hurt, the fear created from her past quietly died. Each time they were together, she learned a little bit more about what love really was.

She heard Buffy's slow even breathing and thought she was asleep.

"I love you B," Faith whispered a little bit frightened into Buffy's hair while she slept. This was the only time she had the courage, was not afraid to truly express what she felt for Buffy. With all her heart she wanted to, hoped someday she could tell Buffy this while she was awake without trembling from fear, waiting for the rejection she had been conditioned to expect. Faith drifted off to sleep, her mind and body exhausted.

Buffy's soul sang with joy when she heard those whispered words. She wanted to dance, to sing, she wanted to tell Faith she loved her too. She knew though to wait, knew Faith only said it because she thought she was asleep. Buffy could wait, there was still fear in Faith's voice, she could wait forever, but she knew she wouldn't have to.

_'I love you too Faith!' _Buffy thought as she drifted off and joined Faith in sleep.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

I lift my lips from kissing you ~ To kiss the sky ~ Cloud soft and blue ~ And slow the sun melts down ~ Into your golden words for me ~ I lift my hands from touching you ~ To touch the wind that whispers through ~ This twilight garden ~ Turns into a world ~ Where dreams are real ~ No-one will ever take your place ~ I am lost in you ~ No-one will ever take your place ~ So in love with you...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy rolled over and wearily opened her eyes; the first thing she saw was the time on the clock.

"Shit... Shit... Shit..." Christ! It was four o'clock! Everyone was going to be here in an hour! "Faith! Get up..."

Faith mumbled something and rolled over on her stomach, burying her head under a pillow. What the hell had she been thinking letting Faith talk her into having a BBQ on a week night? Thank god, they had gone shopping yesterday for everything. Buffy yanked the pillow off Faith's head and swatted her on the butt with it.

"Come on sleepy head... Everyone is gonna be here in a hour... Get up!" More mumbling came from somewhere in the sheets from the raven-haired Slayer, "This was your idea!" Buffy was treated to another mumble that sounded a lot like _'don't wanna'_. "FAITH! UP! NOW!"

"I'm up. I'm up," Faith grouched, rolling over onto her back. She raised her hands over her head and stretched arching off the bed, a small groan coming from her.

Buffy watched her, hell; her eyes were glued to Faith stretching on the bed. She was so beautiful in such an unconscious way, and unbelievably Buffy felt herself become incredibly wet.

_Bad Buffy. Bad... Bad... Bad... Cold shower... Company coming..._

Buffy ran for the bathroom before she ended up jumping Faith.

She started the shower, got in and began to wash herself, groaning a little as she ran the washcloth over her breasts. Immediately her thoughts drifted to Faith and Faith's hands, her mouth, her tongue.

_Bad Buffy. Later... Jump Faith later... Later after company leaves... Later..._

She felt Faith's arms come around her waist from behind.

_Bad is good! Jump Faith now!_

She turned around and practically slammed Faith into the shower wall. "Need you! Want you! Now!" She growled out to Faith, who just gave her a wolfish smile.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They ran down the stairs like two little kids, laughing, and giggling. When they reached the bottom, Buffy caught Faith and picked her up in her arms.

"I've got you now my pretty." Buffy said doing a bad imitation of the _'Wicked-Witch'_ from the _'Wizard of Oz'_. She started twirling them around in a circle, then out the door to the garden as her mouth came down to ravish Faith's. Wanting just to carry her back upstairs, wanting more of what they just did in the shower. God she was insatiable when it came to Faith, and Buffy smiled as Faith moaned low into her mouth, her hand sliding down over Buffy's breast. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who was insatiable, Buffy stopped twirling them and deepened the kiss.

"Ah... You did say five, right?"

Buffy almost dropped Faith when James spoke. The Chosen Two turned crimson when they saw that not just Gary and James were in the garden, but the Scoobs, Giles, Dawn, and Spike, who was lurking somewhere in the shadows.

"B... You wanna put me down?"

Buffy put Faith down as Gary scooted over closer to them.

"You know, you're not supposed to be late to your own BBQ." He told the two of them.

"Late? Why didn't you just yell up and let us know you were here?" Faith looked at Buffy incredulously not believing she had just played into Gary's hands.

"We ah did come in..." He looked at Buffy, lifting an eyebrow and smiled at Faith, who was trying valiantly not to smile back. "But ah... Bumble Bee you were a little busy already yelling for ah... Faith. Don't worry James and I covered for you both and kept everyone outside. Although Dawn wanted to know why she couldn't go in the house," Gary whispered to the pair with a lecherous wink.

Buffy felt herself getting redder with each word. "What time is it?" She choked out.

"Five-thirty Bumble Bee."

Faith started laughing, and Buffy turned redder. "I wouldn't laugh too hard Faith, wait until you get the water bill next month."

"Don't care B! It'll be more than worth it!"

Buffy practically ran into the house away from the amused expressions of everyone, Faith following closely behind. They gathered up everything for the BBQ and brought it out. Faith went back in and filled up a cooler with soft drinks, and beer. She heated some blood up for Spike in the microwave and put it into a new hot-thermos that they had bought for him yesterday. Faith just hoped that Gary and James wouldn't notice and ask questions. Then again, very few people ever questioned anything weird on the Hellmouth.

Buffy cooked the hamburgers and hotdogs, while Faith doled out soda and or beer to everyone. Faith helped her bring over the two platters of food and saw the looks of amazement on Gary and James faces when they saw how many burgers and dogs Buffy had made. There was enough food to feed a small army, or at the very least, the gang and two hungry Slayers. Everyone dug in and Faith made a plate for Buffy and herself.

"It gets hot standing over that grill." Buffy said to no one in particular, while she pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

Faith took a large bite of her burger and turned towards Buffy smiling and started choking.

_'Oh shit! She's gonna kill me! Shit!'_ Faith thought frantically when she saw the bite mark, which was turning into a bruise on the side of Buffy's neck where it met her collarbone.

"B! Hair..." Faith strangled out low, hoping no one else would notice.

"Feels cooler this way."

"No... put..." Faith tried to get out, only to be cut off by Anya. _'Shit. Should of known!'_

"Buffy you have a tick...no that's not it..." Anya paused her brows furrowed as she tried to think of the right word, and before Faith could stop her, she blurted out. "A hickey! That's it! Buffy you have a hickey on your neck." She smiled proud of herself for remembering the right word. "Did you get that while you and F..."

Xander's hand came over Anya's mouth before she could finish her question. He groaned and smiled at her while she glared back at him. Everyone else was trying to get a look at Buffy's neck.

"Wicked. Nice job Faith!" Dawn said with a smirk while Gary burst out laughing.

"Sorry B." Faith mumbled out, looking down blushing.

Buffy felt herself start to blush too. She raised her hand up to her neck, and then remembered the finger marks. Fervently she hoped that the tank she had on was hiding the finger marks on her shoulders. Faith had grabbed her shoulders to keep her right where she was and doing what she was doing. Then Faith's grip had tightened to keep herself from falling in the shower when her knees had buckled while Buffy had been... _'Bad Buffy! Company's here. Don't go there...'_ But her mind went there anyway. Faith's head snapped up and she looked directly at Buffy. The flush that spread over the Chosen Twos', chest, neck, and faces wasn't just from embarrassment.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith finally got a minute alone with the two witches. They were in the kitchen washing the dishes, while Buffy remained outside entertaining the rest of the troops.

"So did you pick that up for me today?" Faith looked at the witches barely able to contain her excitement; she was bouncing from foot to foot waiting for one of them to answer her.

They just smiled at her, enjoying teasing her. They knew she had been impatiently waiting, hoping that the shop owner would get the gift she had special ordered, or rather had custom made, in early so that she could make sure it was perfect.

"Weeeeellll?" She gave them her best pleading look. Didn't work. "Come on guys don't tease. Did ya get it?"

"Yup."

"Where is it? Let me see! Let me see!" Faith was bouncing again, clapping her hands, like a little kid who had just been told they were going out for ice cream.

Tara got her knapsack from the other room. She pulled out a long thin box and handed it to Faith, after making sure that Buffy was still outside. Faith opened the box, and let out a soft _'Wow'_. They had done a great job! She turned around the box and showed the two witches.

"What do you think?" Faith nibbled on her bottom lip as she waited for their reaction.

"It's beautiful... But why the st..."

"Oh! I remember now..." Willow yelled excitedly cutting Tara off.

"Red! Keep your voice down or B's gonna come in here to see why you're yelling."

"Sorry!"

Faith was back to worrying her bottom lip again. She handed the box back to Tara, and then surprised both witches by jumping up on the counter. She opened the cabinet door and reached up grabbing something from the top shelf. Jumping back down, she handed an envelope to Tara.

"Do you think she'll like it?"

"I think she'll love it Faith. Don't you Tara?"

"Yeah I do. What's this Faith?" Tara waved the envelope at her.

"It's a card, a letter sort of to go with the gift. I ah... got inspired the other night." Faith was blushing.

"You look so cute when you blush Faith." Willow just couldn't resist teasing.

"Funny Red. Nobody told me the whole redemption package included blushing." Faith nibbled her bottom lip a little more. "Can you guys keep the stuff until this weekend? If I keep it here she'll find it."

"Sure not a problem. Now can someone please tell me..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"That was fun, wasn't it B?"

They were standing outside in the garden looking up at the stars. Everyone had left and Dawn was upstairs sleeping already. Faith was behind Buffy, her arms wrapped around her, her chin resting on Buffy's shoulder.

"Yeah it was. It's been a long time since we all just hung out and had fun. I really like Gary and James too. Although I wish Gary would quit calling me Bumble Bee."

"I think it's kinda cute."

"You would," Buffy snorted.

Faith trailed her mouth down the side of Buffy's neck to her shoulder. She pushed aside the tank with her nose and placed soft kisses along her shoulder. She saw the finger marks on Buffy's shoulder; she straightened up, and pushed aside the tank on the other side and saw that they were there as well. She delicately ran her fingertips along them.

"I'm sorry... I don't even remember doing that... I didn't..."

Buffy turned around immediately; she felt an echo of guilt coming from Faith.

"Don't apologize Faith, they'll be gone by tomorrow. I know you didn't mean to do it. There's no reason for you to feel guilty. Further, I'm not sorry." Buffy gently caressed Faith's face before she continued, "Hell do you know what it does to me to know that I make you feel like that? That I can make you mindless, out of control, make your knees buckle. That you trust me enough to even let me take you there. I know that you don't give up your control to anyone, that it's hard for you to trust people."

"I've never let myself... Never gave up control like this with anyone. Never let myself just let go... Never trusted anyone enough before. Only you B, you're the only one who's ever made me feel like this. I... I..." Faith just pulled Buffy tightly into her arms, still afraid to tell her she loved her. The child in her terrified that it would be thrown back in her face like it had always been. Afraid that if she said it aloud to Buffy that the spell would be broken and the reality of what had always been her life would come crashing back in.

Buffy tightened the embrace even more. "You're the only one that has ever made me feel this way Faith. Not even Angel made me feel like this. And you don't have to tell me, don't have to say it. I know how you feel, I can feel it inside me, can feel you in there, just like I know you can feel me."

They stood for the longest time just holding each other. Feeling the other's emotions echoing inside of them, and they both reveled in this new connection, couldn't imagine not having it there, couldn't remember what it was like before now, and somehow knowing that it had always been there. They just hadn't been ready to understand or accept it before.

"Come on let's go in." Faith said as she felt Buffy shiver a little in her arms.

Neither saw as a cloud passed over the moon, and the night grew darker.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...I lift my eyes from watching you ~ To watch the star rise shine onto ~ Your dreaming face and dreaming smile ~ You're dreaming worlds for me ~ I lift my lips from kissing you ~ And kiss the sky wide deepest blue ~ And slow the moon swims up ~ Into your golden words for me ~ No-one will ever take your place ~ I am lost in you ~ No-one will ever take your place ~ So in love with you - The Cure

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	19. XVIII - Between The Hammer & The Anvil

**XVIII - Between The Hammer & The Anvil**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Storm warning ~ But there's no fear ~ Lies forming ~ The sacrament lays bare...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It was one of those old, very large lion's foot porcelain bathtubs. She lay with her bad bleached blonde hair spread out behind her. The water in the tub was almost to the rim and overflowing with bubbles. Three minions, who resembled human-like, plague-ridden rats with long greasy hair, knelt blindfolded by the side of the tub. They were each holding a tray with various items on them. A loofah, magazines, Mimosas, a box of chocolates, and other such nonsense were on the trays.

Glory had been babbling at them for a while now, while they groveled, struggling to give her the right answers, hoping not to incur the wrath of the exiled _'God'_.

"Okay, now I asked for the Key, and you brought me a vampire. A pulseless, impure, follicley-fried vampire. Loofah." She hissed between whining and pouting. They were idiots for the most part, but they had their uses, after all, Jinx did managed to get Ben to slip about the _'Key'_ being changed into human form by the monks. Although Jinx had almost died because of it, and if it weren't for the fact that Ben had tried to kill him, Glory would not have believed the whole _'Key-In-Human-Form'_ thing.

All three minions paid closer attention to her the second she had mentioned the _'Key'_. The minion named Muck handed her the loofah. Glory lifted one of her legs from the water, resting it on the edge of the tub; she began using the loofah to rub away the dead skin.

"Now, what I think we have here is a failure... FOR YOU TO DO YOUR FRIGGIN' JOBS. Pardon my French. Mimosa." Glory yelled, in a sickly sweet tone. She held out her hand waiting for Slook to hand her the Mimosa, which he did trying to control his own trembling hand and not spill any. Glory took a sip before continuing, "Mmm, vitamins! So, I think you better rack your little Minion brains and tell me everything that you saw when you were spying on Buffy and her wacky pals. Everything. Then I'll figure out who the Key is." Again, in that same sickly sweet voice.

Had Faith or Xander been there to witness the bizarre scene they would have thought that it looked like something out of a really, really, bad cartoon.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith straggled down the stairs to the kitchen and poured herself her usual large cup of sugar and cream with a little coffee. She headed out to the garden where Buffy was. She was surprised to see Buffy already showered and dressed. That's right, she remembered now, Buffy was going to see Dawn's principal today, and she wasn't happy about it.

"Morning," Faith voice was low, husky and slightly hoarse.

_Wonder how that happened? Can we all say B!_

"Morning," Buffy turned towards Faith waiting for a kiss.

Faith leaned down, gave her a quick peck on the mouth and sat down in a chair.

"What was that?" Buffy pouted.

"I didn't want to mess up your lipstick."

"I've got a whole tube of lipstick. Now get over here and give me a real good morning kiss." Buffy purred and Faith growled in response, moving quickly to accommodate Buffy. They had definitely spent way too much time hanging around with vampires, they were starting to act like them, purring and growling.

"Mmmm... Strawberry. Like strawberry..." Now Faith was the one who was purring.

Buffy couldn't stop the quiver of desire that ran through her at the sound of Faith's purring voice. It was a wonder they ever managed to leave the house at all. Although being out of the house didn't stop them either. They were going to be caught, not just heard, for real one of these days.

"That was much better... Now go sit... Before I forget I have to go see Dawn's principal... Or I end up being late or looking like I just crawled out of bed with someone... Christ! Stop feeling like that..." Buffy was getting echoes of wave after wave of desire coming from Faith.

"Me! What about you? I'll stop when you stop!" Faith squirmed a little in her chair. "Besides isn't it supposed to be like this in the beginning?" Faith asked genuinely, not even thinking for a minute that Buffy didn't want her, not with the echoes she was getting from her.

"Yup! And I'm not complaining believe me. I'm just pissy that I have to leave. 'Cause sitting in the principal's office is the last thing I want to be doing this morning. Trust me!" Then Buffy started giggling. "We're like bunnies on Viagra!"

"Yeah B... but more like that little pink bunny with the sunglasses and the bass drum...the ahhh...the battery bunny... I got it... We're the _'Energizer Bunnies'_ on Viagra, we just keep on going and going and going and going..." Faith started giggling herself.

Damn if she didn't look like a kid when she did that, and that thought sobered Buffy up and made her think about Dawn and what the principal wanted, the giggle dying on her lips. Faith immediately stopped giggling seeing the worried expression on Buffy's face.

"Worried about seeing the principal B?"

"Yeah. I wish I knew what she wanted. I just feel like this is all way over my head. I worry about messing up with Dawn. If I'm doing the right things. I just don't know anymore. I really wish Mom were here." Suddenly Buffy felt tired and old, the weight on her shoulders had become a thousand times heavier and she was weary.

Before Buffy could even finish processing her own thoughts, Faith had picked her up and settled her down on her lap, cuddling her.

"Don't worry B. It'll all work out. We'll work it out together. I know we can. I wish your Mom were here too. But I know that wherever she is, your Mom knows Dawn is in good hands, loved and safe as long as she's with you."

"And you. She's in good hands, loved and safe with you too Faith." Buffy sat up pulling a little out of Faith's arms and turned so that she could look into her eyes, her expression getting even more serious. "Faith there is something I want to ask you. I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes. Promise me you won't say yes 'cause you think that's what I want you to say."

Buffy had been thinking about this for a while. Had actually started considering the idea the day after they had returned from L.A. It wasn't until yesterday that she had made her decision, and she had a feeling that even her Mom would approve.

"Okay. I promise," Faith's whole demeanor became solemn; instinctively she knew whatever it was that Buffy wanted to ask her was very important to her.

"Being a Slayer you know..." Buffy paused, trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to say. Taking a deep breath, she decided just to say it. "Faith if something should happen to me... If I should d..."

"Nothing is going to happen to you Buffy. I won't let it!" Faith didn't want to talk about this. Didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to hear those words come out of Buffy's mouth. The second she realized what Buffy was going to say, she felt like someone had put a vice around her heart and started tightening it. She was unconsciously shaking her head in denial.

"Faith," Buffy said soothingly, capturing her face with her hands. "Faith believe me, I'm not planning on anything happening to me anytime soon. Anything happening to either of us. I plan on both of us being around a long, long, time. I wanna turn old and gray with you. I want us to both beat the odds. But there isn't just me to worry about anymore, now more than ever that Mom is gone. There is Dawn. And there is you. But the reality is I'm a Slayer, and you are too. You know as well as I do what that means."

"Yeah I do. But it doesn't mean we have to talk about. It's bad enough waking up every morning and wondering if today is the day. It's not so bad anymore, not since you. At least I'm not alone. It makes it easier somehow. I just always figured I would be first. Until you, I never even looked past getting through the day. I lived like there would be no tomorrow. Now all I want is for there always to be a tomorrow. I don't think I can ever go back to being all alone again. I don't think I could survive without you, could survive all alone again..." Faith whispered out the last part.

"Faith you'll never be alone again. There is Dawn, Willow, Tara, Giles, Wesley, Cordy, Gunn, Xander, Anya and Angel, they all love you, care about you. Hell even Spike cares about you. They would never abandon you, even if I weren't here."

"It's not the same. They're not you B."

"I know baby. And none of them could ever be you... No one could ever even come close... You and Dawn are the two most important people in my life. I don't know what I would do without either of you. Dawn is still a kid, still needs me and you... And if I should die..." Buffy gently placed her fingers over Faith's mouth to stop her from protesting. "We both know it could happen to either of us. If I should die... I want to know if you would take care of Dawn. Raise her for me, if she's still too young to take care of herself. Would you do that? Would you even want to do that Faith?"

"Me? You want me to take care of Dawn? I'm fucked up! What if I went psycho, evil again? B, there are things about me you don't know... ugly things. Things I can't even think about. Things I can't, don't want to remember. Why me? Why not Giles, or one of the Scoobs? Fuck even Angel would be a better choice than me!"

"Why would I want anyone else to take care of one of the two most precious people in my life? And if you don't already know it you are the other most precious person in my life. You won't go all evil again! I know that! I trust in that! I trust you! And yes I know there are things you haven't told me. I can only guess at those things, but I am pretty sure what type of things they are. I can figure out what happened to you when you were just a kid." Buffy saw the panic, shame and fear rise up in Faith's eyes, felt it inside of her in one of those echoes.

"None of it was your fault. You have nothing to be ashamed of. No child should ever have to go through that. It makes me cry inside to think of what was done to you." That haunted look that Buffy had never ever wanted to see again in Faith's eyes was there again. She could taste Faith's fear, bitter, and strong in the back of her throat, and she knew Faith was afraid that she would ask her to talk about what happened, and afraid that once she found out, she would leave. Buffy knew that like other children that had been subjected to this type of abuse, Faith blamed herself, held herself responsible for what had happened.

"B... Please... don't ask... I can't..."

"Sssh... It okay, you don't have to tell me. You don't have to talk about it. If or when you're ready you can tell me, talk to me about it if you want to." Buffy gathered Faith back into her arms, holding her tightly, offering Faith her strength to lean upon. She tried to control her own rage at the person who had done this to _'Her Faith'_. She wanted to rip their fucking heart out. She waited until Faith stopped trembling, and her breathing became calm again, before continuing softly, "You wanted to know why I would pick you to raise Dawn if I should die. Why I would want the strongest, bravest, most loving, caring, tender, gentle, good, most beautiful soul I have ever had the honor to know take care of my sister? Someone I know who would take care of Dawn, protect Dawn at the expense of their own life, someone who would love Dawn like she was their own sister, love Dawn like I love her. Is that what you want to know Faith? It's because you are that person Faith. You are all those things."

Faith started shaking her head in denial of all that Buffy said.

"Yes you are! You are! I know it, Faith!"

"No. No I'm not! I can't be those things. I can't... I've done too many bad, evil things."

Buffy's heart broke a little for Faith. She knew it wasn't just what happened between them that Faith was referring to, this all went so much deeper.

"Too late Faith, because you already are, I know you are. Are you forgetting I can feel you. I can feel what you feel. You are a part of me, just like I'm a part of you. There is a part of you that lives inside of me, is with me always, just like there is a part of me that lives inside of you, will be with you always. I know what's in your heart, I know what's in your soul. There's a light that shines from you Faith that is so bright that it's almost blinding. If I can't be here to take care of Dawn, then I can't think of anyone else better than you to do it for me, if you wanted to. I'm sure if I asked Dawn she would pick you too. The question is... Do you want to, Faith?"

Faith was crying and didn't even realize it until Buffy gently wiped away the tears. "Do you want to, Faith?" she asked her softly again.

"How could I not want to B? You and Dawn are the only family I've ever had. How could I not want to take care of my family?" Faith paused; Buffy believed in her, she had to learn to believe in herself. She could do this, she could protect Dawn, she could make sure that nothing ever hurt her, could have the childhood that Faith was never allowed to have herself. Determination, showed in her eyes, was in her voice when she swore to Buffy, "I promise you I will take care of her, treat her, love her the way you would, like she was my own sister. 'Cause in my heart that's exactly what Dawn is. I'll make sure nothing bad ever happens to Dawn ever no matter what. Not now! Not ever!"

"I know you will Faith. You already do that now... and I know you will if something should ever happen to me. Thank you." Buffy lay her head down on Faith's shoulder, putting her arms around her, feeling Faith's surround her back. She felt as if a ten-ton weight had been lifted from her shoulders, knowing that her sister would be loved, protected, and safe no matter what happened. And knowing that Faith would have someone who would love her unconditionally, someone to help her, someone who would never leave her all alone again, and a reason for Faith to keep on living should something happen to her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Lounging on the couch in one of the small tight dresses she was so fond of, Glory stared at the three minions who were standing in front of her. Instead of the look of frustration, the three minions had grown used to, there was a look of confidence, and a smile played around her lips. They thought she looked almost serene. This was the _'God'_ they were used to. This was the _'God' _they wanted back, wanted to restore to power.

"So it's her. Under our noses all this time. I like the detail work those monks did. Quirks, foibles, passions. It's all so cute, so human, ya know?" Her smile grew a little larger. The three minions nodded and smiled back at her. "Pretty convincing really, but not convincing enough."

She pondered about it for a minute, her smile turning a little evil. She stood slowly, and looked at each minion, being sure to lock eyes with each one for a second or two. Glory knew they were just waiting for her orders, but she wanted to savor the moment, she was so close to getting everything she wanted. So close to beating that damn little blond Slayer and her inept gang. Oh she couldn't wait to see that little bitch's face.

"You all know your assignments." She paused relishing the taste of the words as they fell from her lips. Her smile growing larger, almost impossibly so, "I think it's time to collect the Key."

She twirled around, a soft giggle coming from her and headed out the door. The three minions, Murk, Slook, and Jinx followed her out single file.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...The sinner ~ Will testify ~ They'll suffer ~ When sacrificed on high...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They were getting ready to go to the World Culture Fair that the college was having. Tara was in the closet searching for jackets for them. Willow sat down on the bed, bending to put on her shoes. She had paused in their conversation and was thinking again about Buffy's reaction to how they had been trying to help Dawn with a geometry problem. Buffy was totally stressing over the fact that Dawn had been skipping school, Willow understood that, but she still felt Buffy had overreacted to the whole situation. Who said learning couldn't be educational and fun, that was all she had been trying to do. Breaking away from her internal musing she picked up her conversation with Tara where they had left off.

"It wasn't anything, really; Buffy was just being kinda crabby at Dawn about her schoolwork." Was she trying to convince herself or Tara that this was all that was really bothering her?

"Well, it's understandable..." Tara turned around closing the closet door and tossed two jackets on the bed.

"Sure it is! I'd totally be blowing off classes if I was in Dawnie's shoes." Willow almost sounded convincing.

Tara smiled at her shaking her head knowing better. Willow blow off classes, right, she thought, about as likely as the moon being made out of cheese. "Sweetie, you wouldn't blow off class if your head was on fire. And I meant Buffy."

"Buffy what?"

"Understandable. About the crabby; I mean she has to look after Dawn now."

"Yeah, but not in a _'Miss Minchin's Select Seminary for Girls' _way, I mean she'll just make Dawn even more rebellious..." Willow said as she put on her jacket.

"I had to deal with my brother's problems after, I mean... you really can't know what it's like to..." Tara was almost hesitant; she knew what Buffy was going through. Went through many of the same things after her Mother had died and she had to take care of her brother, and her Father. But she didn't want to hurt Willow's feelings, losing a parent was something no one could really understand until it happened to them.

"I know that," Willow's tone was defensive; there was a touch of bitterness in it too. Just a little but it didn't escape Tara's notice. She made a sound that was almost of displeasure, she frowned, not really at Willow, and sat on the bed next to her.

"I- I didn't mean..." Tara stuttered a little, something she hadn't done with Willow in a long time. She was getting a bad feeling about where this conversation was heading.

"No, I just, I mean I know I can't know what you went through, I just..." Willow laughed, but it was a false laugh and they both knew it. "It's no big." Willow finished, but her tone was saying something else, there was a hint of... Tara wasn't sure but she thought it might be anger.

"I made you mad." Tara was nervous, worried, and that bad feeling was growing stronger.

"No, no..."

"All I meant was that..."

Willow took a deep breath pausing before she spoke. "...It's okay, the whole Buffy thing just... Forget it."

Tara wanted to let it go but she just couldn't. "No, please, if I... I mean, tell me if I said something wrong. Otherwise I know I'll say it again, probably often and in public."

Willow was thinking to herself she should let it go, but she didn't, this wasn't just about Buffy and what happened today, it had grown into more. Though, neither of them knew what.

"No, I was snippy gal, it's just... I know I can't, on some level..." Willow sighed, "...it's like my opinion isn't worth anything because I haven't been through..." She stopped and sighed again, "I didn't lose my Mom, so I don't know..."

"Well I'm not the expert, I mean, I only lost one..." Tara paused and began again uncertainly, almost afraid to ask. "Do I act like I'm the big Knowledge Woman?"

Without even realizing it, they had moved away from each other on the bed. There was a good foot between them now as they looked at each other.

"No..." Willow's voice was weak and her _'No' _was not convincing. And Tara knew it, and Willow knew, she knew it.

"Is that _'no' _spelled _Y E S_?"

"_ of_... it's just... I mean I just feel like the junior partner sometimes, you've been doing everything longer than me, you've been out longer, and practicing witchcraft way longer..."

Tara frowned at Willow a little hesitant to say anything else but did anyway. "...Oh but you're way beyond me there. In just a few... I mean it frightens me how powerful you're getting." Willow frowned at her and Tara knew it was the wrong thing to say.

"That's a weird word."

Tara smiled nervously at Willow and purposely picked the wrong word when she replied. "Getting?"

"It frightens you? I frighten you?"

She should have listened to her instincts, listened to her _'feeling'_. She knew better after all these years, Tara jumped up from the bed. "That's so not what I mean. I meant impresses, impressive..."

"Well I took Psyche 101... I mean, I took it from an evil government scientist who was skewered by her Frankenstein-like creation right before the final... but I know what a Freudian slip is." Willow was upset, she saw that Tara was as well, but she had to know. She had to ask her, she stumbled over her words a little. "D-D-Don't you trust me?"

"With my life!" Tara answered Willow quickly. But she knew that was not what Willow was asking her. Why didn't she just listen to her feeling, she berated herself silently again.

"That's not what I mean."

"Can't we just go the fair?" Tara was silently praying that Willow would say yes, but she already knew she wouldn't.

"I'm not feeling real multicultural right now. Wh... What is it about me that you don't trust?" Willow stood up, she was getting more upset by the second, but she couldn't let this go. The old Willow might have, but she wasn't that Willow anymore.

"It's not that. I worry. Sometimes... you're changing so much, so fast, I don't know... where you're heading..."

"Where I'm heading?" Willow was confused. This conversation was so far removed from where they had started. How did that happen she wondered, what was going on here?

"I'm saying everything wrong," she wasn't good at this, had never been good at expressing herself, explaining what it was that she wanted to say.

"I think you're being pretty clear. It isn't the witch thing... this is about the other changes in my life." There was so much vulnerability in Willow's voice, and right now that was how she felt.

"I trust you. I just..." Tara paused as she dropped her eyes from Willow's, and looked at the ground. "I trust you. I just... I don't know where I'm gonna fit in. In your life, when..."

Willow cut Tara off, her stance, tone confrontational. She didn't miss the look of surprise on Tara face. "When I _'change back'_? Yeah, this is just a college thing, just a little experimentation before I get over the thrill and head back to boys' town." Willow paused, again a little afraid to ask, a little afraid of the answer Tara will give her. "You think that?"

"Should I?"

"You know, I'm really sorry I didn't establish my lesbo street creed before I got into this relationship. But you're the only woman I've ever fallen in love with, so how on earth could you possibly take me seriously?" Willow's tone was bitter, she was angry, she was hurt, confused, so many emotions she couldn't handle them all.

Willow turned and started walking towards the door.

"Willow, please..." Tara pleaded.

"Have fun at the fair," Willow said not turning around, she opened the door and walked out.

Tara watched her receding back, and felt like the whole world had just dropped out from under her feet.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Outside of the house, two of Glory's minions watched Buffy and her sister through the window. Buffy was folding towels, while Dawn was sitting at the dining room table doing homework. Dawn's expression changed from sullen to wary as she looked at her sister. Buffy was going on about charts and schedules, Dawn couldn't believe how excited her sister was about the whole chart idea thing. Dawn was angry and upset, with her sister, with the world in general, she leaned back and crossed her arms. Buffy stopped folding the towels and looked at Dawn.

"I'm just trying to give you a normal life."

"Well, good luck."

Buffy didn't miss the sarcasm in Dawn's voice. She looked at Dawn and waited for Dawn to return her gaze. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"What? What am I doing wrong now?" Dawn rolled her eyes at her sister, something she had unconsciously picked up from Buffy. They would never admit it but they were a lot alike the Summers' sisters.

"This is for real, Dawn."

"No, it isn't. I'm not real, so why would my exciting graph of chores be real? Who cares if a Key gets an education anyway?" Dawn slammed her schoolbook closed, and shoved it defiantly towards Buffy. Angry she folded her arms again.

Buffy pushed the schoolbook back at her. "It's not a graph. It's a chart. And you are real."

"Yeah? Those Monks put grades K through Eight in my head. Can't we just wait and see if they drop Nine in there too?"

Buffy slammed her hand down on the table, _'That's it!' _she thought. Dawn jumped and winced, surprised.

"Dammit, Dawn, this is serious!"

"Why? Why should I care about any of this?"

"Because they'll take you away!" Buffy yelled it at Dawn, trying to keep the fear out of her voice.

Dawn stared in shock at Buffy, while Buffy tried to compose herself. She didn't want Dawn to see how scared she was. There was enough for Dawn to worry about with Glory still on the loose, she was only fourteen, more than anything else in the world Buffy wanted her sister to have some semblance of a real childhood, unlike herself.

Dawn unfolded her arms, she was trembling a little, and she was scared.

"Take me away? What do you mean?"

Buffy consciously kept her voice soft and calm when she answered her sister, but a little fear made its way through anyway. "They'll take you away from me. That's what your principal told me when you weren't in the room. If I can't make you go to school, I won't be found fit to be your legal guardian."

There was a minute or two of silence between the two sisters as they stared at each other. Buffy started folding the towels again, needing something to do with her hands.

"Where would I go?"

"I don't... Dad, maybe? Or foster care? I didn't... I didn't really want to ask." Buffy answered her still keeping her voice soft.

"You could've told me that."

"I just did."

Buffy locked eyes with her sister, Dawn's eyes were pleading with her silently for a way out of all of this. Buffy shrugged, she was helpless, she was scared, she didn't know how to fix this, how to make it better. For the first time since being called, being a Slayer didn't give her an edge, an advantage, in fact, it could make things worse.

Buffy sat down across from Dawn. Even though only the length of the table separated them, they were very far apart, each caught up in their own nightmare.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith came in the house and found them still sitting at the table. She took one look at both of their faces, the cheerful greeting dying on her lips. Something was seriously wrong.

"What? What happened? What's wrong?"

"Principal Stevens told Buffy they could take me away from her. Send me to Dad's or a foster home." Dawn's voice was trembling.

**"LIKE FUCKING HELL THEY WILL!"**

Buffy and Dawn looked at Faith in surprise, Faith's anger, her panic, her fear, pulling them out of their own. They watched as she started pacing around the table, ranting, throwing her hands up, mumbling under her breath. They had learned this was something Faith did when she was upset. They let her, knowing that until she vented, Faith wouldn't listen to anything.

In the middle of this, Buffy couldn't help think how adorable Faith looked when she did this. Faith was just as upset over this as both Buffy and Dawn were, and if Buffy didn't already know she had made the right decision in asking Faith to take care of Dawn if something happened to her, she would have now. And Buffy loved her even more for it.

Dawn watched Faith pacing in circles, ranting, getting a little bit dizzy. As she watched her, a calm came over her, and the fear started to slip away. Dawn believed without a doubt that between Buffy and Faith, no one would ever be able to take her away from them. And Dawn loved them both even more for it.

Faith kept pacing and ranting.

_No one! No one will take away my family! No fucking way! Think Faith! Think! You can beat the system! You beat the system, the social workers all those years living with Mom and Johnny! Fooled them all! Know what they want to hear! They can't take Dawn away! Won't let them! Kill them first! Okay so I won't kill them. They can't have her! NO WAY! I love them both too much! Think! Calm down and think!_

They watched as her pacing slowed, and Faith stopped flinging her hands around, as the mumbling became less and less. She finally stopped and stood at the head of the table. Her hands on her hips, looking a lot like the cocky Slayer that Buffy had first met, only now where there had been indifference in her expression, there was a calm confidence and love. She gave the sisters her infamous, _'Shit-Eating-Five-by-Five' _grin.

"Don't worry Gamin... For once, something good can come out of my fucked up childhood. I know my way inside and out, all around this whole social working, school system shit. We'll work it all out. It will be a cold day in hell before the fucking system beats me. A cold day in hell before anyone fucking takes you away from me and B!"

"Faith!" The sisters yelled together.

"What?" She yelled back, knowing damn well what they were going to say. She had cursed on purpose hoping to ease the tension a little.

"Cursing!" The sisters said in almost perfect sync.

All three laughed, and they knew that between the three of them they could handle this. No one, nothing, could separate them, together they could get through anything, together they were strong.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She was sitting in the magic shop alone. She was feeling afraid, sad, angry, confused and very alone. Their first fight had gotten so out of both of their control. Both saying the wrong things, both jumping to conclusions, and neither one saying what was really bothering them.

Willow sighed wearily, she knew one thing for certain, she loved Tara with all her heart and soul and she would do anything to keep her. She started to think about everything they had said. She saw that her feelings of being a Jr. Partner when it came to the connection that Tara shared with Buffy was a lot like what she had felt when she was threatened by the Slayer connection that Buffy and Faith shared. That was the crux of it, wasn't it?

Who was she afraid of losing? Tara? Buffy? Or both? She had been feeling left out, insecure, and helpless. Helpless because she didn't know what to do for Buffy and Dawn to make things better. Willow hadn't felt helpless in a very long time. She didn't know what to say to either Buffy or Dawn, didn't know what to do. Other than to mutter _'I'm sorry'_, she hadn't a clue as to what to say, to do. What she began to realize was that it was the helplessness that really made her feel this way, the inability to help out her friends when they needed her most. It was all confusing to her. But she knew one thing, her reaction to this was wrong. She should have talked to Tara about how she was feeling, and not have let it build up until it all came out in the wrong way.

The whole _frightened-of-her_ thing just blew her away though. But the more she thought about it the more she could understand it. How many times had she heard stories of women or men who experimented while they were in college? If she remembered correctly it was called a _'one-off'_. It seemed to be happening more, now that being _'gay'_ was in a very odd way, _'chic'_. She couldn't blame Tara for being a little afraid, it hurt her though to think that Tara doubted her love for her for even one second. She wondered though if it was simply that or was Tara truly afraid that Willow would leave her as her powers grew, if Tara's own powers didn't grow to be equal with hers.

They both should have talked to each other. They both had let their own insecurities keep them from speaking about their fears, what it was they weren't getting from each other, what it was that they needed from each other. They both had made mistakes. Willow looked at the door, and made her decision.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Tara was sitting alone on a bench at the fair, a woman walked by and smiled at her seeing the sad expression on her face. The two witches would have been surprised to know that their thoughts almost echoed each other's exactly.

Tara watched as the happy, smiling students walked past her with a blank expression on her face. There was music playing brightly in the background but Tara didn't hear it. She didn't notice that the sun was out and warm upon her skin. She vaguely registered the numerous booths that were set up with food, art and music from all different cultures. A large Chinese Dragon puppet was weaving through the crowd a little ways off in the distance she barely spared it a glance. There was an air of happy chaos on the quad. All she could think about was the fight, and how sad, scared and all alone she felt and how much she missed Willow.

She blinked, looking at the hand that slid into hers gently squeezing. Her first thought was Willow had found her. She started to look up, turning her head towards Willow, a smile beginning to form on her face, which quickly turned to fear and shock.

_OH GOD NO!_

Glory smiled at her, and Tara was frozen in place, the fear written across her face and Glory was loving it.

"This seat taken?" Glory asked in that irritating voice of hers. She tightened her hold on Tara's hand, ensuring she couldn't escape.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...The burning sermons purge their evil words ~ Between the Hammer and the Anvil...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Willow got up from where she was sitting. Her expression blank, she wandered over towards Giles by the counter who was cutting open a package tied in twine. When Giles asked her if she was all right she tried to lie but he wasn't buying it.

"I had a fight with Tara. It was awful."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"You two don't quarrel much, do you?"

"Never. 'Til today."

"Well, it's over now."

"Over? How can it be over? I just found her!" Willow panicked.

"The quarrel is over," Giles said in a calm voice, when he saw the panic spreading across Willow's face and heard it in her voice.

"Oh. Yeah."

As they talked, Giles picked up the merchandise and moved through the swinging doors, and placed the stuff on a shelf. Willow followed him. He looked intently for a second at the side door. The _'Ripper' _part of him could sense that there was something at the side door although it barely registered with him, the Giles part. He continued speaking to Willow in a calm, even tone.

"And you'll feel better when you make your apologies. Then you'll know you can fight without the world ending." Giles casually rested his hand on the doorknob while he continued speaking, "I know it must seem bleak now, but as they say, This too..." As his voice trailed off, Giles yanked open the door swiftly. One of Glory's minions fell through the door. Just as quickly, Giles slammed the door halfway, cracking the minion's skull with it. He pulled the door open again letting the minion fall face first onto the floor, and finished his sentence, "...shall pass."

Anya had run in during the commotion, she and Willow stared at Giles a little bit awed. "Wow!"

Giles grabbed the minion Slook, and dragged him into the open area of the shop. Taking a hold of the minion by the hair, he shoved him into a chair.

"Now, what do we have here?"

"He's one of those things that work for Glory," Anya told both Willow and Giles.

"Yes. How helpful."

The minion looked Giles square in the eyes before he spoke, "I do indeed work for the God. Let me go if you do not wish to incur her anger."

"But she's not here. What a marvelous opportunity for you and me to talk." There was something a little different about Giles, Willow thought as she looked at him. Was Giles letting a little bit of _'Ripper'_ show through?

"I will never betray Glorificus. I will never talk, no matter what heinous torture..."

"Actually, you're talking quite a lot. But not about the right things. Tell us why you were here." Giles voice was hard, calm and determined. Now Willow was certain they were seeing a little bit of who Giles had been when he was called _'Ripper'_.

"No words shall pass my lips that would bring peril to Glorificus."

Giles held the minion's gaze while he directed a command to Willow and Anya, "Quickly you two, on the counter... get the twine. Let's tie him up."

Willow and Anya moved to the counter quickly and gathered up the twine. They were startled when they heard a loud crunching noise, followed by an anguished gasp and sob. They turned around and were amazed to see the minion on his knees; he was pale, sweaty, and trembling at Giles feet.

Desperately Slook said to Giles, "Don't... I'll tell you anything. Please. Whatever you want to know. Just... I'll... anything..."

"What happened?" Anya was confused, so was Willow for that matter. Did Giles do something while their backs were turned?

"He changed his mind," Giles tone was almost casual, sheepish. He was once again just Giles; all traces of _'Ripper'_ were gone.

"I'm... I'm supposed to watch. We're watching the Slayer's people," Slook hesitated, trying to compose himself; it didn't work, "while Glory fetches the Key."

The room become deathly silent, none of them wanted to register or understand what the minion had just said.

"Glory knows who the Key is?" Willow asked, panicked. They were all panicked.

"Oh God."

_Not my daughter. Oh God NO!_

"We've got to call Buffy."

"Too late. Too late. Glorificus will find the witch and there's nothing you can do to stop her."

"Witch. What do you mean..." Anya looked at him puzzled.

**_TARA! OHGODNONONONO!_**

"Tara!" Willow turned and started heading for the door. Tara, she had to get to Tara!

"Willow, wait. I'll go with..."

"No. Call Buffy. Go look in Tara's room. I'm going to check the Fair." Willow yelled firmly heading out the door, and then she was gone, trying her best to shove down the panic that threatened to overwhelm her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Force rises ~ False rituals ~ Baptizes ~ The body and the soul...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Buffy... Faith... I think you better listen to this message," Dawn yelled from the living room.

The Chosen Two went running for the living room from the kitchen when they heard the fear plainly in Dawn's voice.

"What? Who is it?"

"It's from Angel. Cordy's missing."

"WHAT?" Faith yelled. Dawn just pushed the play button on the answering machine.

"... Cordy has been gone since yesterday. Wesley is working on solving the scattering problem. As soon as he figures it out, we are going to try to rescue Cordy... Faith... Buffy... I don't know if we will make it back... I... just wanted to let you know... Faith there are papers in the safe here... Bank books... stocks and stuff that Wesley invested in for you from part of your salary... If we don't make it back make sure you come and get them... That's it... I'm not going to say goodbye... Just know I care about you both and Dawn too... Take care of each other, be good to each other... Later..." Then the _'automated'_ voice came on saying the message was received at Eight-o'clock P.M., the day before.

Faith grabbed the phone and frantically dialed the Hyperion. She slammed the phone down in frustration when no one answered, thankfully it didn't break.

"Why didn't he call me at the Mansion? Why? Why leave a message?"

Buffy walked over and put her arms around Faith, comforting her, trying to calm the fear that was radiating off her in waves.

"Angel was probably afraid that you would want to help. You know how he is. He wants you happy. Probably didn't want to interfere in what was going on with us here. Didn't want to risk everything you have now, knowing there was a chance that they might not make it back."

Faith stared at Buffy her mind racing a mile a minute. She knew what Buffy said was true; Soul-boy was trying to protect her. Protect what she had with Buffy. But how could she not help them? They had been there for her, all four of them. God only knew what would have happened to her if Cordy hadn't taken over where Angel left off when he was going through his Darla struggle. The four of them had pulled her back from the abyss. If it weren't for them she wouldn't even be standing here now with Buffy and Dawn. Wouldn't know what it was like to be loved, have a family, be happy for the first time in her miserable, fucked up life. How could he deny her the chance to repay any of them for that? She knew what she had to do, and she prayed silently that Buffy would agree with her. Either way, whether Buffy agreed or not, this was something she had to do, it was the right thing to do.

"B..." Faith paused, gathering her courage, she was risking everything. She started talking fast, not wanting to give Buffy a chance to interrupt her, "B, I have to go there. I have to help them if I can... It's the right thing to do. They saved me. I wouldn't be here with you now if it wasn't for them. I owe them more than I can ever repay them. I have to do this. I know I am risking everything here by going. But I have to, I just hope you understand."

Faith held her breath waiting for a reaction, something, anything, from Buffy who just continued to stare into her eyes after her hurried speech. God, for once, why couldn't things be easy? For the first time in her life she had people who loved her and who she loved, friends, a family, a home and Faith was frightened, afraid she was going to losing everything if she went running off to L.A.

"I do understand Faith. I want to be selfish and tell you not to go, but I can't. I know you have to do this. It's what I would do if the situation were reversed. I'm just afraid of losing you after just finding you. FUCK! Why can't things just be easy? Why can't we just be normal people?"

"Hey you're not going to lose me! For the first time in my life, I have a home and people to come back to. I have you and believe me; I would crawl through the depths of hell if that was what it took to come back to you. God herself couldn't keep me from coming back to you."

"Maybe I should come with..."

"No. You know you can't. You have to stay here, have to take care of Dawn. Have to play their game. Have to figure out how to kick that skanky, bleached blond bimbo's ass. I'll be back before you know it!" Faith gave Buffy one of her lopsided grins, and threw in a little of her cocky attitude for good measure as well.

"This sucks..." Dawn wasn't happy. She didn't want Faith to leave, but even she knew what Faith was doing was right.

"Yeah Gamin it does. But you know this is something I have to do. Don't you?"

"I know. It doesn't mean I have to like it." Dawn voice was sullen, but there was also fear in it. "You'll be careful won't you?" Dawn asked in a small voice.

"You know I will. 'Cause I know if I'm not, I'll be tortured by the infamous ticking of the Summers' sisters." Faith told her trying to lighten Dawn's mood a little. It didn't look like it was working. Faith moved out of Buffy's arms and went over to Dawn. She gathered the young girl's hands into hers. "I promise I will be careful. Like I told Buffy, there is nothing powerful enough in this universe to keep me from coming back to my girls. 'K?"

"'K," Dawn practically threw herself into Faith's arms, hugging her tightly and Faith hugged her just as tightly back. Buffy moved over to them and wrapped her arms tightly around both of them. They stayed that way for a few minutes, before Faith moved out of the sisters' embrace.

"I should get going. The sooner I go, the sooner I get back. I need to go back to the Mansion first and pack a few things before I catch the bus to L.A."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Both Buffy and Dawn took Faith back to the Mansion to packs, then they drove her to the bus station. They waited with her for the bus to come even though she insisted that they didn't have to.

"I, we want to wait with you Faith. 'Sides that means, I... we get to do the long kiss goodbye thing like you see in the movies."

"You're not really gonna kiss here are you?" Dawn squeaked out. She had already noticed the nasty glares her sister and Faith were getting from people, and all they were doing was holding hands. Who knew what would happen if they actually started kissing in public.

The Chosen Two looked at Dawn in surprise. They had thought she was all right with them being together maybe they were wrong. Maybe they were seeing what they wanted to see and not what was really there.

"Gamin..." How to say this? How to ask? "Gamin is it not okay with you that me and B..uffy are together? You know like a couple together?"

Now it was Dawn's turn to look at Faith in surprise. "No..." Dawn hesitated; she didn't want to say anything about how people were looking at the Chosen Two. She knew they were oblivious to the stares; she didn't want their feelings to get hurt. She saw the fallen look the two of them were giving her and realized that her one word answer had been misinterpreted.

"I don't have a problem with it. It's not me... Some other people here do though. I just don't want your feelings hurt if someone looks at you funny or says something is all. I think you guys fit together. I hope I find someone, someday, who fits with me the way you guys fit with each other." Dawn blushed when she said the last part.

Buffy pulled her sister into a tight hug. Dawn returned the hug and quickly squirmed out of it, feeling shy all of a sudden. "We don't care what anyone else thinks Dawn. We only care about what you think. Let them stare, let them say something, it doesn't matter. You're all that matters. As long as you're okay with me and Faith then that's all we care about." Over the P.A. system came the boarding announcement for Faith's bus.

Dawn turned her back on them so they could say goodbye in semi-privacy. She glared down anyone who even looked funny at the Chosen Two. A man who was passing by started to say something and the look the fourteen-year-old gave him, made him snap his mouth shut and hurry away.

"I'm going to miss you. Miss you a lot. Promise me you'll be careful. Promise me you'll come back to me. You're doing the right thing and I'm proud of you. I'm still gonna miss you. I kinda got used to waking up next to you in the morning ya know."

"I'm gonna miss you too. I promise to be careful. I'll be back, you can count on it. You know Soul-boy; he's probably exaggerating the whole situation. The whole brooding thing kinda makes you look at things in a different way, like the glass is half-empty instead of half-full. And B, I like waking up next to you too. I especially liked the way you woke me up yesterday." Faith gave Buffy another of her goofy lopsided grins and then quickly pulled her into her arms, giving her a tender kiss.

"Hey Gamin. Do I get a hug or what?" Dawn was hugging Faith before she even finished. "Take care of B for me while I'm gone. 'K?"

"'K. Take care of yourself. Remember your promise Faith." Dawn squeezed her tighter.

"I will." She squeezed Dawn one more time, turned and pulled Buffy to her again, kissing her a little more lingeringly and then she was off running for the bus.

Dawn and Buffy watched the bus until it disappeared over the horizon. In silence, they drove back to their house. They entered the house to the sound of the phone ringing, echoing loudly through the deathly still, empty house.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Our union ~ Their fall from grace ~ Confession (confess your sins) ~ Will seal them to their fate...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"This is nice. Just hanging out. Just us girls." Glory's voice was friendly; she was still holding Tara's hand. Tara was looking at Glory with fear and Glory was all but bathing in it. She lived for the fear; it was like food to her. "You like this sort of thing, don't you?"

Glory was referring to the two of them, two women holding hands. Before Tara could answer her, Glory started to squeeze her hand tighter. Tara's look of fear quickly turned to one of intense pain, and a gasp of pain forced itself out. If anyone had been listening, they would have heard the sound of bones breaking.

"Don't make a sound," her voice soft, menacing, evil. Tara looked around wildly at the crowd, no one seemed to notice them, no one seemed to care. Tara saw two large, burly men nearby, a whimper escaped her lips, Glory followed her gaze.

"Nuh-uh. They won't help you." Three uniform cops passed them by on bicycles, Glory barely spared them a glance before continuing. "I'd kill them. You know that. There's no one here that can stop me." Glory waved her free hand indicating everyone in the crowd. Tara was whimpering low in her throat in fear, in pain. Glory started speaking to her again in a voice that terrified Tara deep down in her soul. "I'll kill her. And them. And I'll kill him. And him. And her. And it'll be all your fault."

Glory waved towards random people as she spoke. When she was finished she began to squeeze Tara's hand again, her nails digging into her skin, blood started to drip from between their hands, and dimly Tara heard the sound of more bones breaking. She whimpered softly again in pain, but managed not to make any other sound. She didn't want anyone else to get hurt because of her. Her breathing was erratic and she idly wondered if she was going to pass out.

"It's kind of funny, isn't it? All these people here and nobody who can do a thing. Not a person who can help you. That's people for you; pretty worthless."

Tara looked up at Glory and the smile Glory gave her made her skin crawl. She couldn't remember ever having seen such pure evil as this. She whimpered again, feeling the bones that had broken through the skin as Glory continued to hold her hand.

"But Keys on the other hand... Keys are worth a very lot." Tara's eyes widen when the realization hit that Glory thought she was the _'Key'_. She frantically shook her head in denial, but it was already too late. She watched in horror and fear as Glory raised her hand up, closing her eyes in anticipation and licked the blood that was dripping from between their entwined hands, savoring the blood and the moment. She couldn't help the whimper of fear as Glory's eyes snapped open. Glory gagged, spitting out the blood in disgust.

"You lying little tramp. You're not the Key. You're nothing. Just another worthless human being." Low and furious in that irritatingly, sickly sweet voice.

"I didn't..." Tara whimpered in fear.

"I hate being lied to. It makes me feel so betrayed!" Glory smiled at Tara again, and Tara whimpered.

"Hey! Do you want to make it all better? If you tell me who the KEY really is, I'll let you go. Think about it. You think your hand hurts? Imagine what you'll feel with my fingers wiggling in your brain." Glory squeezed Tara's hand again breaking more bones to emphasis her point. Tara just whimpered again not saying anything.

"It doesn't kill you. What it does is make you feel like you're in a noisy little dark room. Naked, and ashamed. And there are things in the dark that need to hurt you 'cause you're bad. Little pinching things that go in your ears and crawl on the inside of your skull. And you know that if the noise and the crawling would stop, you could remember how to get out. But you never ever will." Glory voice was quiet, and for a change, it wasn't in that irritatingly, sickly sweet tone, Tara had noticed that Glory had fidgeted uncomfortably the whole time she had been speaking. Glory spoke with a voice of a person who had experienced true madness herself. Tara looked at Glory terrified, speechless.

"Who is the Key?"

As Tara looked at Glory, she knew that Glory would brainsuck her no matter what. She let her thoughts drift to Willow, her love, her life, her heart, her soul. Her thoughts drifted further to Dawn, Buffy, Giles, Xander, Anya, Faith and even Spike. They were her family, they had stood up to her own Father, brother and cousin when they had come to Sunnydale to try and force her to return with them. Stood up for her even when there was the possibility that she was a demon, she would do nothing to harm them. She loved them and they loved her, unconditionally. She wanted to pull a _'Faith' _and tell the ex-God to _'Go Fuck herself'_, but she wouldn't give Glory the satisfaction. Instead, she straightened up a little, the fear leaving her face, proudly she faced Glory, jutting her chin out, offering herself to Glory, as the tears silently fell from her eyes.

"Fine," Oddly enough, Glory gently caressed the side of Tara's face, she knew Tara would never tell her who the _'Key'_ was. "Let's go crazy."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...The burning sermons will survive their curse ~ Between the Hammer and the Anvil...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**"TARA!... TARA!..."** Willow yelled, running through the happy fair goers. Scanning the crowd she spotted Tara and Glory on a bench across the quad, she started heading in their direction, running faster, knocking people out of her way. Glory's hands were on Tara's temples, their faces side by side, and there was something almost intimate about it. Willow increased her speed and began chanting a spell.

"By force of heart, and mindful power, By waning time and waxing our..." Willow saw Glory's fingers sink a few inches into Tara's skull. She picked up her pace a little more, still chanting, ""I echo Diana, um, when I decree... what is it... what is it..."

Glory plunged her fingers deeper into Tara's skull. A light began to shine from where Glory's fingers went into Tara's head. As Glory's fingers began to go deeper, both cried out. Glory began to writhe in an obscene imitation of ecstasy, while Tara writhed in very real agony.

"No...**NOO!** That she I love must now be..." Willow screamed at Glory. "Free. **TARA! NOOOOO!**"

Willow saw as if in a dream Glory turn towards her and smile. She lunged for her, only to be blocked by the Chinese Dragon puppet. The dragon passed by in a blink of an eye, but it felt like forever, as she ran towards Tara she saw she was alone her head lolling to one side. Reaching her Willow grabbed her by the shoulders, Tara didn't look at her, there was no reaction from her at all.

**_Oh Goddess NO! PLEASENONONONONO!_**

"Tara! Are you okay?" Willow asked terrified.

"It's dirty. It's all dirty. And all over me. Dirty, dirty, bad. Bad!" Tara whimpered as she started brushing her stomach, brushing at some imagined dirt. Willow began crying pulling Tara to her, holding her desperately tight. She was too late!

"Tara, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Willow whispered over and over again, rocking Tara, as her tears continued to fall.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy walked into the hospital room heading straight to Willow pulling her into a tight hug. God she hated this place with a passion. "Will. I'm so sorry."

Over Willow's shoulder, Buffy could see Tara, who was sitting on the bed in a hospital gown, one of her hands in a cast. She looked at Buffy with glazed eyes and smiled strangely at her. Willow and Buffy pulled apart. Willow smiled brightly at Tara, but her heart wasn't in it.

"They kill mice," Tara's voice was almost childlike and Willow couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"Tara," Buffy said a second before she pulled Tara into a hug. Tara didn't react to or acknowledge Buffy at all. Pulling away slowly from Tara, Buffy once again turned around to face Willow.

"I'm sorry it took me so long. But I'm here now and Dawn's safe with Spike so I-I can stay as long as you need me." Willow nodded her gratitude to Buffy before gently taking Tara's uninjured hand into hers.

"I'm so scared." Willow's voice trembled, and Buffy silently cursed herself for ever letting any of them get involved with her. She gently put her hand on Willow's cheek offering what little comfort she could.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Dawn and Spike were walking through an underground cavern. Spike had been trying to convince Dawn not to be scared. So far, he had been unsuccessful. It was a difficult task considering he was still battered, bruised and limping from his encounter with Glory, which scared Dawn even more. She knew vampires healed quickly like Slayers, so for him still to be this damaged after all this time made her shudder in fear and horror over what Glory could do to Tara.

Spike stopped walking when Dawn didn't respond to his last comment. He turned around and saw her sitting on a rock, facing away from him, the fear he felt coming from her making his un-beating heart bleed for her.

"Hey," his voice was soft as he slowly made his way over to her. He reached out gently to caress her hair, wanting to comfort her.

"You want to know what I'm scared of Spike?" Dawn turned around quickly facing him. Spike pulled back his hand making like he was going to run it through his hair all cool-like. Dawn was trying to keep the unshed tears in her eyes from falling. "...Me. Right now, Glory thinks Tara's the Key. But I'm the Key, Spike. I am. And anything that happens to Tara is 'cause of me." Dawn pointed to his bruised and battered face while she continued to speak. "Your bruises, your limp... That's all me, too. I'm like a lightning rod for pain and hurt... and everyone around me suffers... and..." She could no longer hold the tears back and they started to fall silently.. ."..And dies. I... This stupid Key must be something horrible... to cause so much... evil."

"Rot..."

"What do you know?"

Spike paused slightly before answering Dawn, "I'm a vampire. I know something about evil. You're not evil."

"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I'm not evil but I don't think I can be good." There was almost a hopeful expression on her face as she looked up at Spike. He paused again before answering her, carefully considering his answer.

"Well, I'm not good, and I'm okay."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Tara was frantic as the nurse wheeled her out of the room. Willow silently cursed the doctor, silently cursed the Hellmouth, Glory and the stupid rules that said Tara had to spend the night in the psychiatric ward.

"Don't... please don't with that treachery. I told the cats. And now I beg my mother, sitting all alone." Tara strained to look at Willow as the nurse wheeled her out of the room.

"Bye Tara. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you." Tara reached out for Willow in desperation, fear on her face.

Willow watched for a second, but she couldn't let her go. She moved quickly towards Tara, but not quickly enough, Xander caught her around the waist stopping her, holding her.

"Will, no. It's just for one night." Xander told her softly, he knew though the words would offer no comfort.

"Yeah, I-I know. but... it's a whole night and I don't think I can sleep without her."

"You can sleep with me." Anya paused when everyone turned and looked at her. She realized what she just said. "You know, that came out a lot more lesbian than it sounded in my head."

Buffy moved closer to Willow. "Will, you just have to rest. Right now there's nothing you can do."

Willow pondered Buffy's statement for a second, then a look of determination came over her face before she answered Buffy, "Yes, there is." Willow walked out the door into the hallway before anyone could stop her.

"No. No way!" Buffy yelled following Willow quickly out the door stopping her in the hallway before she had gotten too far. "You can't even think about taking on Glory."

Willow looked at Buffy with an expression that Buffy had never seen before on her face. There was strength and determination in that look, and a little something that almost frightened Buffy.

"You saw what she did to Tara. I can't let her get away with it."

"No, you have to let her get away with it. Even I'm no match for her, you know that."

"But maybe I am." Willow started to walk down the hall again, determined that no one would stop her. Buffy moved around her again, grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"You're not. And I won't let you go."

"It's not your choice, Buffy; it's mine."

"This is not the time."

"When, Buffy? When is? When you feel like it? When it's someone you love like I love Tara? When it's Dawn, is that it Buffy?" Willow's tone was almost accusatory, and laced with red-hot anger.

"No. When we have a chance. We'll fight her when we have a chance. You wouldn't last five minutes Willow. She's a god."

Willow looked at Buffy, suddenly she felt as if the weight of the world had come crashing down upon her thin shoulders. The sadness threatened to overwhelm her. She wanted to rage, scream, hit something, she wanted to rip Glory to little tiny pieces with her bare hands for what she had done to Tara. She wanted her Tara back. And suddenly it was all too much for Willow.

"Fine. I'll wait." Willow's voice was weary.

Buffy tried to make her tone reassuring as she told Willow, "It's the only choice."

"Yeah," Willow turned away from Buffy and started walking down the hallway in the opposite direction.

"Can I do anything..."

"Just let me be alone." Willow didn't turn around as she spoke, and Buffy watched her walk away feeling helpless.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She entered the closed Magic Shop moving fast, almost running. She headed straight for the back to the ladder, with an agility that none of the other Scoobs had ever seen, she climbed up the ladder to the balcony. She ignored the sign that said _'OFF-LIMITS-SECTION'_ just like Dawn had when she was searching for ingredients to perform the magic to raise her Mother from the grave. There was nothing hesitant about her movements or actions, her decisions were quick and decisive, she moved with purpose, not worrying about putting things back the way she found them.

She scanned the shelf looking at the more evil, dangerous potions, things only a very experienced practitioner of Witchcraft should ever be able to access. She found what she was looking for on the top shelf and pocketed a small leather bag that was full of powder and a red glass bottle.

She knelt down and yanked open the drawer on the bottom shelf. She rummaged through the talismans, runes, knives, until she found the jeweled dagger that she was searching for and pocketed that as well. She continued to rummage through the shelves pulling off the bottles and potions that she needed and putting them in her bag along with the rest of what she had taken.

She started scanning the bookshelf again, searching. She stopped for a moment, thinking, then feverishly started to pull books from the shelf tossing them carelessly to the floor. Finally, after all the books lay scattered across the floor, she saw what she wanted, the giant black leather book with a huge brass lock on its page side. It was in the far recesses of the shelf as if it were hiding. She pulled the book from the shelf struggling with its weight, until it lay upon the ground. She checked it again, reading the title _'Darkest Magick'_ to reassure herself.

Grabbing an axe, she swung it with deadly accuracy at the brass lock. The lock broke open on the first try, and the evil, dangerous pages began to flutter as if they were being blown by a sudden gust of wind. They continued to flip rapidly in the wind, as Willow stood watching them.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...Transgression ~ They prey on grief ~ Our mission ~ To purify belief...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Glory walked down the stairs in her apartment. Her walk a little unsteady as if she had been drinking to excess. As usual, her three minions followed her. She looked out the window and noticed that it was the 'tween hour, the time of the day when it was neither night nor day.

"You know, I think I'm a little buzzed from eating that witch. What a mind she had. Nummy treat."

"...Is your grace not the slightest bit... concerned about..."

"What, about the Slayer? Don't be stupid. I know I'm closing in. The Key's as good as mine. Girl like Buffy's got just so many friends. All I gotta do is rip through 'em, one by one, until I finally..."

Glory trailed off listening. There was a noise that sounded suspiciously like thunder, it continued. The floor began to shake lightly, than with more gusto, a vase fell from the shelf, the thunder was getting louder, and more knick-knacks began to fall. The minions looked at Glory in confusion, who returned their gaze just as confused. The room began to get darker, and Glory saw that it was now completely dark. Darkness had fallen over Sunnydale quickly and early.

"Did anybody order an apocalypse?"

Before she had even finished her question, the bolts and the locks on the double doors unlocked themselves and the doors flew open.

Floating in the doorway about a foot and a half above the floor, her palms facing forward, arms extended, her hair and clothes flying around her as if being blown by some unseen wind, was Willow. Her eyes were completely black, there was no pupil, no green, and they were glowing with an unholy light. She began to float slowly forward, towards Glory, an incantation falling from her lips, softly at first, then growing in volume.

"Kali, Hera, Kronos, Tonic..." The minions ran from her in terror, hiding somewhere in the back of the apartment as she continued to come further into the room still chanting. "Air like nectar thick as Onyx... Cassiel by your second star..."

As if a light bulb had suddenly gone off in Glory's head she realized who the redhead was, ""It's the lover... That's so cute."

"Hold mine victim, as in tar!" Willow chanted as Glory moved towards her.

Glory only made it a few steps closer to Willow before the spell stopped her dead in her tracks. She pushed against the invisible wall in surprise, but it was immobile. Glory snarled at Willow like a wild animal, not wanting to play with the witch anymore.

"I... Owe... You... Pain..." Willow's voice was strange, she sounded almost like the _'Wicked Witch'_ from the _'Wizard of Oz'_. On the last word, her eyes began to glow brighter. She rose up her hands, pointing her fingertips at Glory shooting blue energy directly at her, hitting her in the shoulders.

Glory screamed in pain when the unholy energy hit her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy was running, pushing herself harder, faster than she ever had before. She had to get to Glory's, she had to help Willow! How could she have been so stupid? How? It had taken a vampire, Spike, and her fourteen-year-old sister to point out to her human reactions, emotions. How could she have been so blind? Christ! She would have done the same thing if she were in Willow's place. Buffy kept running hearing, her words, Spike's, and Dawn's echoing in her head.

_"How's Willow?"_

_"She was looking to go all paybacky on Glory for a minute there, but I cooled her down a little. Actually, a lot."_

_"She's not gonna do anything rash, then... So, you're saying a powerful and mightily pissed-off witch was planning to go out and spill herself a few pints of God blood until you... ...explained?..."_

_"You think she'd...? No. I told Willow, fighting Glory'd be suicide..."_

_"I'd do it... Right person. Person I loved... I'd do it..."_

_"Think, Buffy. If Glory'd done that to me..."_

As the voices faded Buffy's only thought was, _'Stupid... Stupid... How stupid can I be?'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Tears streaked Willow's face; but her eyes were still glowing strangely. She was standing on the ground and she was becoming tired. Glory's apartment was in tatters, trashed, furniture was broken, curtains lay upon the ground. The leather bag and the red potion bottle Willow had taken from the Magic Shop were nothing more than scattered pieces of glass on the floor by her feet.

"Shatter!" A large mirror on the wall shattered at Willow's spoken command. The pieces of fractured glass rained down over Glory.

Glory looked at the witch, she knew she was tiring, she laughed at her, and continued laughing as she spoke, "Is that it? Is that the best you can do?" Glory staggered a little as she moved towards Willow. Despite her laughter, she looked like she'd been dragged around the block a few times.

"You think I care about all this? The apartment, the clothes..." To make her point perfectly clear to the redheaded witch, Glory ripped her dress from her, revealing the full black slip she wore underneath.

"I don't give a rat's ass when it comes right down to it." Glory was standing directly in front of Willow; she backhanded her, flinging Willow across the room, over the couch, where she landed on the floor. "Sucking on your girlfriend's mind, now that was something to treasure."

Willow raised her head, her eyes never leaving Glory as she continued to taunt her. She rose to her feet, her eyes still black, glowing brighter with the unholy light. The leather bag Willow had brought with her slid across the floor fast to her. It untied itself, opening, blossoming like a flower.

Glory shook her head amused. "What's this? Bag of tricks?"

A dozen or so knives, rose up out of the bag, pointing at Glory, they hovered in midair frozen. "Bag of knives." At Willow's words, the knives hurtled towards Glory all at once.

Glory didn't move. In the blink of an eye, she batted the knives away from her, the ones that did managed to get through, bounced harmlessly off her. She laughed again at Willow. Picking up the coffee table, Glory threw it at Willow with incredible force.

The table crashed into Willow knocking her to the ground. Groaning in pain, Willow managed to gasp out weakly, "Spirit of serpents now appear. Hissing, writhing, striking near."

The carpet rose up around Glory, forming into a snake. She ignored it walking over the snake, as it dissolved around her feet. "Now this is getting weak..." Glory bent down as she got close to Willow. She reached out and grasped the redheaded witch by the face, like a hunter looking over its prey. "And so are you, honey... Aren't you?"

Willow was weak, in pain, her eyes had returned to normal, but that didn't stop her from spitting in Glory's face.

Glory just stared at her, not flinching, and let the spittle drip off her face, hiding how startled she was by the witch's action. "You're going to regret that."

Glory grabbed Willow by the wrist and with ease started to drag her across the floor to where the knives lay, ignoring Willow's weak _'No'_. Without missing a beat Glory picked up a knife, pulled Willow up by her wrist, shoving her against the wall and holding her there by the throat.

"You know what they used to do to witches, Lover?" Glory paused, then raised the knife high, getting ready to plunge it into the redheaded witch. "Crucify 'em."

Glory looked up in surprise when her lowering hand with the knife was stopped dead.

"They used to bow down to gods." Glory smiled at Buffy as she said this, Buffy answered her smile by kicking her in the stomach. Glory let go of Willow, and Willow, weakened, fell to the floor. Buffy twisted Glory's wrist, eliciting a gasp of pain from her. Punching her Buffy told her, "Things change!"

Cart-wheeling across the floor towards Glory, Buffy hit her hard with a roundhouse kick to the head. The kick sent Glory flying sideways. Pressing her advantage, Buffy let go with a series of punches, in quick succession, landing all of them. Buffy continued to throw more punches. Glory evaded some of them, and countered. Glory captured Buffy's arms and pinned them behind her back, then threw her over the couch.

"That witch barely slowed me down." Glory glared at Buffy, she hated the blond Slayer bitch.

With everything Buffy had in her, she kicked the couch sending it flying at Glory and pinning her against the wall. Like a blur, she ran over to Willow helping her to her feet. Glory shoved the couch aside, purposely she moved towards the Slayer and the witch, her confidence showing in her stride, watching as Buffy started to lead Willow out of the apartment.

Willow heard Glory stalking them and over her shoulder with as much strength as she could muster, in a voice belying her weakened condition she said, "Thicken!"

The old cliché, _'The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife', _became a reality, immobilizing Glory.

"This isn't over. Do you hear me? It isn't over!" Glory yelled at their retreating backs, the last few words, louder, angrier, as she screamed them at the empty doorway.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...This altar ~ Gives power and light ~ They'll falter ~ While we are shining bright...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith slept fitfully on the long bus trip to L.A. From Sunnydale, it took almost four times longer to get there by bus. Her emotions had been running the gamut while she slept, between fear, sorrow, pain, anger, calmness, back to fear, to anger, to pain. She jerked out of sleep, sweat dripping off her skin. She took a few gasping breaths. _'What the fuck?'_ she thought to herself. It suddenly dawned on her what she had been feeling in her dreams weren't her emotions, but Buffy's. Fear began to coil in the pit of her stomach. What the hell had happened in Sunnydale since she had gotten on this godforsaken bus? What the hell was going on? She started to calm down a little as she felt Buffy's fear and anger start to recede and be replaced by relief and concern.

She closed her eyes again and found her center. She focused on Buffy like Giles had been teaching them, modifying the meditations they used while doing Tai Chi, to further open the connection between them. Faith reached out to Buffy with her concern, her worry, her curiosity. Almost instantly, she felt Buffy reaching back out to her, calming her fear, soothing her concern, and in an odd way letting her know to wait. She reached back out sending Buffy her love, lending Buffy her strength, surrounding her in peace, and tranquility. She relaxed against the seat and waited for her cell phone to ring.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy felt Faith reach out to her. She had been so concerned about Willow that she hadn't blocked her emotions from traveling to Faith. That wasn't good; they needed to get a better grip on this. Giles had been teaching them how to control it, but they hadn't much practice yet. The last thing she wanted was to worry about was Faith rushing back here blind, not knowing what was going on and falling into Glory's waiting arms.

Buffy reached back out to Faith, letting her know she was all right, that everything was okay. She then tried something new; she sent her the thought or the feeling of _'Wait'_. She was a little amazed when she felt Faith sending back her understanding. While helping Willow get comfortable, Buffy smiled as she felt Faith surround her with her love, giving Buffy her strength, enveloping her in peace and tranquility. God she loved that woman!

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"B!" Faith practically shouted into the cell phone answering it before it had finished its first ring.

"Faith."

_"You okay? Dawn okay? What happened? I felt you! Is everyone okay?" _Faith rushed out and even without the echoes of emotions they shared, her concern, worry carried clearly over the phone to Buffy.

"Promise to stay calm baby, 'K?"

"'K," Faith said hesitantly not really wanting to make a promise she didn't know if she could keep.

"First everyone is okay. Well not everyone... Tara... Let me start over... There was a little problem after you left..." Buffy began.

By the time Buffy finished telling Faith everything that happened, she was livid. She desperately wanted to perform one of her ranting tirades, which was impossible to do on the bus. Instead, she just settled for the verbal part of it, "I'm gonna fucking rip that skanky ass, ugly, fucking, bleached blonde..." Faith trailed off lowering her voice as she saw the other passengers glaring at her. "That's it! I'm getting off at the next stop and coming back... That bitch better hide cause when I get my hands on her..."

"Faith... Faith! FAITH!" Buffy yelled interrupting her ranting.

"WHAT?"

"I don't want you to come back..."

"What? What do you mean you don't want me to come back? You don't want me back B?" Faith's voice became small, her insecurities taking a firm hold of her.

"I mean I want you to come back... come home to me... but, I want you to go to L.A first. Find Angel... Bring him back, bring the whole crew back... We can use the help. Glory is going down. Can you do that baby?"

"Yeah... I can do that... Sorry I just had a lapse into insecurityville..." Faith grumbled out a little embarrassed.

"It's okay baby. I wish you were here too. More than I can even possibly begin to tell you..." Buffy's voice was soft, tender, loving, soothing. "I miss you. Miss seeing you. Touching you... Just miss you..."

"I miss you too B..." Faith's voice was husky, the longing in it clutched at Buffy's heart.

They talked a little while longer, then Buffy had to go and check on everyone. She needed to make sure they were all okay. They hung up agreeing that Faith would call Buffy if she found out anything that couldn't wait until the morning, otherwise Buffy would call Faith after they got Tara home from the hospital and settled in.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith enter the hotel, it was dark and empty. She yelled at the top of her lungs hello and only got an echo of her own voice as an answer. She walked over to Cordy's desk and picked up the phone. First she called Cordy's thinking that if they had found her that was where they would be. She stayed on the line until she heard Cordy's voice or rather _'Queen C's' _voice when the answering machine picked up. She hung up, not leaving a message. Next, she tried Wesley's, same results, then Gunn, no answering machine but no one picked up. Last, she tried Angel's cell phone and was told the cell phone was out of range. More like out of this dimension, Faith thought to herself.

She started nosing around the desk looking for anything that could give her a hint as to where they were. She noticed a lined pad on the desk with just a torn corner of paper; it looked a lot like someone had ripped the paper off in haste. She looked for a pencil on the desk, and whispered _'Eureka' _under her breath when she found one. She lightly shaded the paper with the pencil like she had seen in one of those late night, T.V. movies. She smiled when she saw two street names in Angel's handwriting, and doodles of Cordy's name around them. Faith left the hotel quickly heading in the direction of the streets on the pad, silently praying that she would find them there.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

After hours of searching, first at the two streets, then over at the Host's club, which was curiously enough, closed, Faith went back to the hotel with the only thing she had found, a big black book.

She climbed the stairs up to her old room, and sat down on the bed wearily. She pulled off her Doc's and rubbed her aching feet. Stripping out of her clothes, she crawled up the bed and under the sheets, thinking that the bed was way too big and lonely. She reached out from under the covers and pulled the large black book up towards her and under the sheet, not trusting that her only clue wouldn't disappear into the night like the L.A. crew. Sighing she fell asleep, her hand holding the book whose name _'Shrsqwrn'_, she couldn't even begin to hope she could pronounce.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Tara was sitting crossed-legged on her bed in her Dorm room, her expression blank. Buffy, Dawn and Willow sat on the edge of the bed by her. They all looked a little exhausted. They were eating and chatting. There was an air of peacefulness, a sense of being safe. As if the four people in the room had found a safe haven from the brewing storm. They were enjoying the calm, joking but in more of a teasing sort of way that only true friends can share.

The subject turned to Tara, how she was doing and what Willow would have to do in order to care for her until they found a way to undo what Glory had done.

"It's okay. I can do this. I'm gonna take care of her. Even if she never... She's my girl."

"I understand," and Buffy did, because without a single doubt she knew she would do the same thing for Faith.

"I know you do." Willow locked eyes with Buffy, letting her know that she believed her. Willow leaned in close to Tara and whispered for her ears only, "Hear that, baby? You're my always."

Willow kissed Tara's forehead, and Tara smiled sweetly back at her a second before all hell broke loose.

One minute they were bathed in the soft glow of the dorm room's lamp, and the next they were blinking, blindly, rapidly into the raw light of a bright sunny day. Where there used to be a wall, there was now only the open expanse of the sky. They were totally exposed, and suddenly the blinding light of the sun was blocked, and in its stead stood their worst nightmare.

Dawn and Buffy jumped up, Buffy quickly crouching into a fighting stance.

"I told you this wasn't over."

"No! The place is cracking. It's cracking. Cracking, no, no, no..." Tara pleaded, frantic.

Willow anxiously tried to calm Tara. Dawn just stared at Tara, still feeling it was her fault this had happened to her.

"No, Tara, it's okay." Dawn's voice was soothing. Tara stared at her transfixed.

"Oh, look at that, look at that. The light!" Buffy turned her attention away from Glory to look at Tara as she continued to speak. "Oh, it's so pure! Such pure green energy!" Tara began to cry as she looked at the beauty that was Dawn. Dawn turned and gasped in horror looking at Glory, and Glory smiled at her, it was pure evil. "It's so beautiful." Tara continued to cry.

Glory evil smile became impossibly large. Dawn turned to Buffy, fear screaming from her in waves. Buffy looked at her sister for a split second before turning to glare at Glory. Who just smiled back and Buffy knew Glory knew Dawn was the _'Key'_.

In less than a blink of an eye Buffy went into total _'Slayer-Mode'_. Grabbing her sister, she ran towards the back door, she crashed through it, running down the hall, dragging Dawn with her, her adrenaline pumping, her fear boosting it even more.

Willow held Tara tightly to her, kneeling beside her on the bed. Glory started after Buffy and Dawn, only to be stopped by Willow who held up a hand at her, chanting a spell in Latin. Glory stopped moving, she was pissed, then she was flying backwards out of the building into some bushes. Willow and Tara got up running after Buffy and Dawn.

They were running through students, Buffy still dragging Dawn by the hand. She slammed through the door to the outside. Glory crashed through the wall into the building they had just exited. Students started screaming and running away. Glory stopped, looking around carefully, and then saw the door the blond bitch and the _'Key'_ had just ran out of. She started running again becoming merely a blur, moving faster than the human eye could comprehend.

The students stared as Buffy and Dawn ran across the lawn.

"Buffy!" Dawn gasped out to her sister.

"We have to keep moving!"

"I can't!" Dawn stumbled and fell. Without a thought, Buffy hauled her back up and scooped her into her arms, and started running again, jumping over the bench that was between her and the street.

_'Just get to the street'_ was all Buffy could think and then she was there. But so was Glory, standing right in front of her. Buffy put Dawn down, they both stared at Glory. This time Buffy couldn't control the terror that rolled over her, almost making her knees buckle.

"Last words, slay-runt?"

"Just one... Truck."

The sound of an eighteen-wheeler's horn blared out. Whipping her head around Glory saw the truck bearing down on her, but it was too late for her to get out of the way. It slammed into her at full speed, rolling right over her, the semi's brakes squealing in agony as the driver tried to stop.

Grabbing Dawn's hand again, Buffy took off, heading for the park across the street running through it, the terror right behind her nipping viciously at her heels.

Glory landed a few hundred yards from where the truck hit her on the roof of a parked car with an ear crunching crash. The windows exploded, the car alarm sounded, she snarled. Glory was in a rage! She started to get up to go after Buffy and _'Her Key'_ but stopped suddenly, her face twisting in pain.

"No! Not now, you idiot! Let... go... of my..." She yelled out to no one, to Ben, the human whose body she shared, her prison in this world, this dimension.

The transformation began, they yelled out together, "...BODY!"

Then there was just Ben collapsing to his knees, his body exhausted. He was feeling the pain from what Glory had been through.

"Oh god..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith staggered, dropping the coffee pot on the floor and almost fell as the fear, the terror crashed into her with more force than a tidal wave.

"B!" She choked out. "OH GOD B...DAWN!" She was frozen in place, her own fear joining with Buffy's; she hadn't felt this kind of fear since she was a child living in Boston with her Mom and Johnny. That thought sobered her up. With the strength of character that at one time only Angel could see, she straightened up and pushed the fear down. Using the strength of will that had enabled her to survive for so long, Faith blocked out the echoes she was getting from Buffy, leaving only a small opening so she could feel faintly any change. She didn't like doing it, but Faith knew she would be useless if she didn't.

Turning she ran for the stairs, not noticing as the glass from the shattered coffee pot sliced her feet. She was dressed and out the door, in a minute flat, pausing only long enough to leave a hurried message on Angel's answering machine. Letting them know there was big trouble in Sunnydale, to hurry up and come, they needed help and apologizing for taking Wesley's Harley, which she had been forbidden to drive.

As she jumped onto the Harley, the bag with the book on her back, she thought for some odd reason about the movie _'The Perfect Storm'_. And she had the eerie feeling that the storm that was brewing in Sunnydale would make the storm in the movie look like child's play...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

...The burning sermons consecrate their sin ~ Between the Hammer and the Anvil ~ Storm warning ~ But there's no fear - Judas Priest

**xxxxxxxxxx**


	20. XIX – Sounds of Silence

**XIX – Sounds of Silence**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith almost dumped the bike when her cell phone suddenly started vibrating against her breast. She pulled over quickly, and plucked the phone out of her sports bra. At the time it had been the only place she could think of to put it where she knew without a doubt that she would feel it vibrate, because she sure as shit wouldn't have been able to hear it ring while she was riding the bike. _'Not too bright Faith,' _she thought to herself.

"Faith we're okay! Faith?" Buffy voice rushed out to her over the phone before Faith even had a chance to say hello.

_"Byousureyou'reokayDawn'sokayeveryonesokay..." _Faith paused catching her breath, calming herself. "I... I... god... I was so scared for you, for Gamin. Are you really okay?"

"I am now. Now that I hear your voice, I miss you baby. God I wish you were here."

"I miss you too. I'm already on my way there. I ah... took Wesley's Harley." Faith smiled when she heard Buffy chuckle softly, "Want to tell me what happened this morning?"

"Well we were all, Willow, Tara, Dawn and I, we were at Tara's dorm room eating, talking..." As Buffy told Faith what happened that morning, she could hear Faith mumbling quietly. She knew that Faith was off on one her tirades. She could see it in her mind's eye, Faith pacing around the bike, throwing her free hand around gesturing, and mumbling to herself under her breath. It comforted Buffy in an odd sort of way.

"...if that truck hadn't come along I don't know what would have happened. I don't even know if I could have kept Glory at bay long enough for Dawn to get away, Faith..."

"We'll figure out something B. Don't worry I know we will."

"This is different Faith. This isn't a chaos demon, or the Master. We were made, called, chosen whatever the fuck you want to call it, to slay, defeat those things. Glory's an ex-god. It's like the difference between slaying a fledgling and Kakistos, only imagine that Kakistos was a million times stronger. You understand what I'm saying Faith?"

"Yeah B, I do..." Only once since Faith had been called, had she felt this type of deep down soul wrenching to the marrow of her bones fear, it was that fear that had made her run from Kakistos to Buffy in Sunnydale. And now for the second time she felt that type of fear.

"They don't understand. No one else can understand, only you can... This is the first time I've been afraid of anything I've had to face... I can't beat her... I can't beat Glory, Faith... I don't know what to do... what can I do."

"I don't know... B... I wish to the goddess that I did... Between Giles, the Scoobs, and us we'll figure out a way to take that bitch with the bad-hair down."

Buffy silently prayed that Faith was right. "You're right... How about you get back on that bike now, 'cause the sooner you get moving again the sooner you'll be here, with me. I'll call you if anything changes... For now we're going to stay here at Xander's and Anya's. Be careful on the bike please."

"I will, I promise. I miss you B. I can't wait to be with you, see you, hold you." Faith felt a little weird saying that given the situation with Glory, but fuck it, they were Slayers, since when had their lives even been remotely close to normal.

"Me too Faith... Me too..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy stared out the window of Xander and Anya's apartment, her eyes scanning nervously for Glory and or any of her minions. Wishing that it would be Faith she saw roaring up on Wesley's Harley, but she knew even if Faith drove a hundred miles per hour that she couldn't make it here that quickly. She had finally gotten control of her fear, but just barely, hearing Faith's voice on the phone only a few seconds ago had a calming effect on her.

Buffy's mind was racing a mile a minute, between yesterday and today she knew without any doubt that physically she could not beat Glory. Hell she could barely even hurt her, and the fear, which she thought she had conquered, began to nibble away again at her gut. Almost immediately she felt Faith surround her with calm, soothing thoughts, and Buffy leaned into those emotions, she idly listened to the conversation going on around her and participated half-heartedly, while her mind still worked on a plan. She finally spoke when she made her decision.

"We can't fight her."

"W-well not yet, no, but..." Giles started, but Buffy cut him off.

"Not ever. She's too strong, Giles. We're not going to win this with spells or stakes or yanking out uranium power cores. She's a god and she's coming for us. So let's not be here when she starts knocking."

They all stared at her in surprise. Run? Buffy never ran from anything, not ever, not even the Master, not even after she found out the Prophesy said it was her destiny to die.

"Run away?! Finally a sensible plan."

"That's not what she meant." Xander told Anya, before looking at Buffy and asking her, "Is it?"

Buffy was fried, tired, scared and she hadn't a clue what to do. One thing she knew for sure was they couldn't beat Glory, not right now, and she doubted if they ever could. "We can't stay here. Glory will kill us off one by one until there's nobody standing between her and Dawn."

"Buffy, we all understand the severity of the situation, but there must be another way."

"No! We stay - we die! Show of hands for that option?" Buffy's voice was harsh, bitter and laced with a little bit of defeat. The room was still, the silence so loud it hurt her ears. "All right. Nobody goes home, nobody tells anyone we're leaving. We grab whatever supplies we can and that's it... we're gone."

"Cool. Won't have to study for that geometry test." Dawn tried to keep the fear out of her voice. The fact that her sister was scared and willing to run, frightened her more than facing Glory.

"What about wheels? I don't think everybody's gonna fit in the Xan-mobile."

"Just get your stuff together. I'll take care of it."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"B..."

"Yeah, baby. We've got a plan..."

"What?"

"Run..."

"Sounds good to me. I've had a lot of experience at it." Faith laughed, but it was a sad laugh, because the truth was, she did.

"We need to get as far away from here as possible. There's that motel about an hour from here on the highway. It's a lot like the one you stayed at here in Sunnydale, you know the one I'm talking about?"

"Fraid so."

"Head there, get a room, get some rest. We'll meet you there or if you're not there when we get there we'll meet somewhere in-between. Faith don't come back here, it's too dangerous. Promise me Faith. Promise me you won't come back here and try and take on Glory by yourself." Buffy closed her eyes and concentrated on Faith, on what she was feeling from Faith. She was afraid that Faith would do exactly what she just asked her not to do. Would do it because she wanted to protect them, because she loved them and both of them knew it.

"I promise B."

"Swear to me Faith. I couldn't handle it if something happened to you."

"I promise. I swear I won't go after Glory." _'At least not right now,' _Faith thought to herself. She heard Buffy's sigh of relief. Nope. Faith wouldn't go after Glory now, she would wait until they could both kick the bitch's ass together, she wouldn't deny Buffy that satisfaction.

"Okay. Then I'll see you in a while. Be careful..."

"You too B."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy returned to her post at the window again after she got off the phone. She stared sightlessly out into the street, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, and a slight slump to her shoulders. She was tired, she was scared, she felt very alone and wished again for the millionth time that Faith was here with her.

As they saw her turn back to the window, a little rough around the edges, isolated from them, a little bit of the hope they had been clinging to that they would all get out of this in one piece, died.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Ben had changed into his own clothes, his body hurt from whatever had been inflicted upon Glory. One of the many perks of sharing a body with an ex-God. He made his way downstairs and was greeted by one of _'Her-Fucked-Up-Royal-Highnesses' _minions. Although this one looked like the rest, _'she'_ was female. The minion, Gronx, Ben remembered, chatted with him, trying to get any information she could out of him. Slowly his anger rose until he couldn't contain it any longer.

"Glory! Her name is Glory. And she's your god, you little scab. Not mine."

"With all due respect and fear of sharp objects, you exist, sir, only because of her divine greatness."

"You mean her divine failure, don't you?" Ben was rewarded with an angry glare for his last comment. He got up and started pacing, still talking, "I didn't ask for any of this. I just want to be normal."

"We play the hand we're dealt."

"Nothing's mine, is it? This body, this life. It's all infected. The only thing I've ever cared about she's taken away from me." Ben paused when he saw his medical bag sitting on the end table. "You know why I wanted to become a doctor?"

"Flattering drawstring pants?"

"To be close to people. To witness their lives and their deaths. To be there, alongside them, a part of everyday humanity." Ben laughed bitterly and sighed, sitting again. "Or maybe it was the drugs." He got up again and walked past Gronx, she rose and followed him.

"Drugs, sir?"

"Find the right combination... keep her buried where she belongs..."

"Impossible! Her magnificence can never be fully contained! She is a perfect, all-encompassing light... one you should feel honored to be bathed in."

"Oh yeah, I'm thrilled. Especially with the part where she gets her Key back and I cease to exist."

"True, this oh so appealing form... will by necessity be shrugged off..."

"Not if I get to the Key first."

Gronx was stunned; she didn't think he had it in him. The boy was changing; she would need to tell Glory of this. "And if you did? What then?" She softened her tone before continuing, "But could you do it? Take a human life ... with your own hands?" She didn't miss the way Ben squirmed a little, as if he were fighting his own internal demons. She softened her tone a little bit more 'til it was almost cloying. "Oblivion is such a small inconvenience in the service of a deity. Accept your fate. I mean, you said it yourself. This life was never really yours anyway, was it?"

"It doesn't matter how I came by it. It's mine." Everything about him became darker, as if a part of Glory now existed within the part of their shared body that was just Ben's soul. "And I plan on keeping it."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They had rescued their brother-in-arms from the hospital. Checking him out of the Psych Ward, the same ward where Tara had been kept overnight after Glory had brainsucked her. In fact, the nurses and the Doctors had been whispering amongst themselves over the influx of mental patients with the same symptoms. Dante and the other knight took their freed brother, Orlando, out to the woods where the rest of their brothers waited.

Impatiently he watched and waited for them. He was a very large man, his face weather beaten by the years. Numerous scars covered one side of his face forming an intricate spider web. There was a tattoo on his forehead like the others; only his was bigger, more ornate, signifying the mark of a commander. His name was Gregor, and he was the General in command of the Knights of Byzantium, Knights whose sole purpose in life was to destroy the _'Key'_.

Gregor spoke briefly with Orlando, offering him the comfort of one soldier to another. He turned and began walking away. He stopped abruptly, turning back to Orlando when he heard him say, _'All shiny. Pretty little Key.'_

"The Key? You've seen it?!"

"Pretty little shiny girl..."

"The monks. They've made it human." Gregor practically spit it out, putting it all together.

"We know the Slayer is protecting the Key. If what Orlando says is true ..." Dante looked at the General while he spoke and saw that he had already put two and two together.

Gregor turned around facing the woods. "Prepare to advance," He yelled to the twenty plus men mounted on horseback at the edge of the woods. "We end this. Now." There wasn't the slightest hint of mercy in his voice.

Xander and Faith would have agreed that the Knights looked like something straight out of a slightly warped Camelot.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They were driving along the outskirts of town in Spike's beaten, rundown Winnebago. It was dim and gloomy inside of the Winnie with all of the shades drawn. Tinfoil covered the windshield, reflecting the light back out. A small hole had been made in the tinfoil so Giles could see where he was going. After the initial protest by the others over Spike even being with them, which Buffy squashed by saying he was the only one right here and now, besides her, who stood a chance of protecting Dawn from Glory, they had all settled in.

Buffy was in the back of the camper, listening to them as they bickered like brothers and sisters. _As odd a group as they were..._

A _hacker_, a computer genius, who was also a powerful _Witch _in her own right, her best friend. A friend who chose to stay and fight the good fight, even though she could have gone far away from here. Did it because it was right, did it because she wanted to. A Witch whose powers grew stronger every day, a Witch whose first love was a Werewolf, a Witch who was now in love with another Witch.

Another _Witch_, with a pure heart, who had sacrificed herself to keep the _'Key' _safe. Who had sacrificed herself to keep them all safe. The Witch who was in love with the other Witch.

A _'Watcher'_, a man of books, of learning, the scholar, an anchor in the storm. Who once had come close to belonging to the dark side, a Witch in his own right and a man who had been and still was like a father to them all.

A _twelve-hundred-year-old ex-vengeance demon_, who had become human and found a family, a place, and love with another among them.

Her _sister_, who wasn't _'really'_ her sister, who was the _'Key'_ in human form. Sought after by a _'god' _who wanted her _'Key'_ and by Knights who wanted to destroy both the _'Key' _and the god. A _'Key' _that cried real tears, bled real blood, felt love, and gave love in return. A _'Key,' _who was her sister, real or not. A _'Key' _that was as real to them as they all were to each other.

A _mere human _who had a heart of gold, and more courage than all of them put together and a soul so pure that even an ex-vengeance demon could love it.

A _vampire _with a chip in his head that kept him from killing but could not make him be good or love, they were things he had proven and done on his own. Making her wonder if he really didn't have a soul, or if it had been merely _'sleeping'_ and had been forced awake after the chip had been put in his head.

A _two-hundred-plus-year-old vampire with a Soul_. Who had been her first love, who sought redemption, who sought peace, who had helped to save the other half of the Chosen Two, and had found a kindred spirit there.

The other _'Watcher'_ who had learned that doing things by-the-book was not always the best way. And now worked with the vampire with a soul and had become more than just a _'Watcher'_. He had become a force to be reckoned with in the war for good.

The _ex-high-school-cheerleader_, who had learned there were more important things in the world than money. Whose pain-wracked visions helped to save the innocent, helped the vampire with a soul find his redemption, helped those who could not help themselves.

A _street kid_ who had been fighting the good fight before any of them and now fought with them. Finding a place in the light, and like the other mere human had a pure heart and soul, and courage enough to rival the best among them.

Then there was _her_, one of the Chosen Two, who had started out as the _'Chosen One' _and now would not have it any other way. The protector of them all, a force for good, a force against evil, a woman whose first love had been a vampire with a soul, a woman in love with another woman.

Lastly, there was _the other_ of the Chosen Two. A woman had been told her whole life that she was a mistake, was second best, and not loved, but had proven them all wrong. A woman who stood, like her, for all that was good, a force against evil. The woman she was in love with and who loved her in return. She was a shining bright light in the darkness, and the keeper of her heart and soul.

_...they were a family, her family, just like she was theirs._

Buffy looked out the rear window of the Winnie hoping to see a Harley flying down the road towards them, but all she saw was that they had left the outskirts of town, and had just turned onto a highway.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy could hear Tara in the main cabin of the Winnie becoming agitated.

"All the light... gone."

"No, baby. It's still light outside. Shh ..." Willow voice was soothing, comforting, and ineffective.

"...dark... all dark ..." Tara continued to chant growing more agitated.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

In the Psych Ward of Sunnydale General Hospital, the patients began to stir. They all had the same glazed look as Tara, they were sweating, their bodies glistening palely, sickly in the hospital's harsh fluorescent lights. They were fidgeting against their restraints, murmuring softly to themselves, to the empty air. Murmuring to an exiled _'god'_ perhaps?

"Dark."

"All dark."

"Soon."

"Dark."

"Soon..."

"Soon... soon," murmuring together, over and over again.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

In Glory's apartment, the human-rat-like minion Gronx had drawn mystical symbols upon the floor in blood. Lit black candles formed a circle around the symbols. Gronx and Murk sat across from each on the edge of the circle of candles. Gronx cast Runic Stones into the circle. She looked intently at them, her face becoming rapturous.

"It's coming! ...The signs are in alignment. Soon victory will be in our grasp. All we need do is seize the moment... and squeeze until it bleeds." Gronx her pointy teeth flashing, smiled a very dark smile.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They were on a dirt road that ran through the desert, surrounded by miles upon miles of nothing. In the far off distance the mountains rose up out of the ground, the peaks hidden by cloud cover, they beckoned to her, promising safety. She let the blind drop back into place throwing the rear cabin of the Winnie back into its previous gloomy mood. She leaned against the wall as she sat on the bed, she was tired, she had nothing left, she was spent, physically and emotionally. Buffy turned her head when she heard the door slide open, and saw her sister peeking in smiling at her shyly.

"Hey. I think Anya's gonna try to cook. Wanna come watch the tears and recriminations?"

"Maybe later," Buffy voice was listless, she smiled weakly at Dawn.

Dawn looked at her sister, who seemed so defeated, so bone weary tired, she turned to go, then hesitantly, softly, she said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"You know. Pretty much... everything."

"Yeah. I'm doing a great job." Buffy's tone betrayed her feelings of incompetence.

"You are." Dawn tried to convey with those two words, that she believed in Buffy even if Buffy didn't believe in herself.

"I'm the Slayer. The Chosen one, well one of the Chosen One's of the Chosen Two, all mythic and defendery. Evil Nasties are supposed to flee from me, not the other way around."

"You're not fleeing. You're... moving at a brisk pace."

"Quaintly referred to in some cultures as the Big Scaredy Run Away."

Dawn sat down next to her sister, she looked her in the eyes, her expression was serious, her voice sincere. "It's the most amazing thing anyone's ever done for me."

But Buffy wasn't sure that she believed that anymore. Maybe now she understood why Slayers didn't have a long life span. The weight of slaying had taken its toll on her, making her feel years older than she actually was. "It just... keeps coming. Glory... Riley... Tara... Mom..." Buffy barely managed to get the word Mom out, she still felt like there was something she could have done. Still felt her Mom's loss, like it had only happened yesterday.

"I know," Dawn's voice was soft, soothing, as if she were the older sister, not the other way around. "But there's a bright side."

"There is?"

"Yeah. At least things can't get any crazier, right?"

They both jumped as an arrow came flying through the window less than a second after Dawn had finished speaking. It lodged in the wall close to Buffy's head. Dawn looked at it in shock, her first thought was that it had just missed her sister. Buffy turned looking at Dawn, a smile, more of a smirk forming on her lips; she was a little amused by this, sort of.

"You know this is your fault for saying that."

Dawn shot her sister a look not finding the humor in her remark.

Buffy pulled aside a corner of the blind and saw about twenty Knights on horseback, they were a few hundred feet behind them but closing fast. Buffy let out a sigh and rose quickly, she rushed into the main cabin, Dawn right behind her.

"Giles!" Buffy yelled.

"I see them," he told her grimly, as he glanced once again at the side view mirror.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was pacing round and round the small hotel room. Patience was not one of her many endearing traits. She had made it to the hotel in record time. Now she had to wait. Wait and wonder, because she couldn't call B. Because B didn't have a cell phone, in fact none of the Scoobs had one. Something Faith decided was going to be rectified as soon as possible, even if it meant she had to use her last penny doing it!

She had been trying to block sending her anger, her fear, to Buffy. Instead, she had been concentrating on sending only her strength, comfort and love to Buffy. She could feel the sadness, the weariness that Buffy was feeling, and she understood it, understood it because she was a Slayer too. She remembered a word that described what it was that Buffy was feeling and what Faith had felt for most of her life. Ennui, it meant world-weary, and sometimes being a Slayer did that to you.

Faith stopped pacing the minute she felt it. It was an adrenaline rush, and Buffy was having one, there was trouble. But this time she didn't feel any fear. Calmly she laid down on the bed and just let herself go with it, sending her energy, strength, and encouragement to Buffy. The Slayer in her calling out to the Slayer in Buffy, cheering her on.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

General chaos ensued seconds after Buffy and Dawn busted into the main cabin of the Winnie. Buffy got Dawn down and under a table as arrows from the Knights riddled the Winnie.

_Fucking pointy flying wooden sticks! Hate them! Hate them! Bloody fucking HATE them!_

"Weapons!?" Giles yelled to everyone and anyone, after an arrow pierced the side of the Winnie just missing his head.

"Hello! You're driving one!"_ Bloody stupid Watcher!_

"Don't hurt the horsies!"

"We won't." Buffy yelled - _'Rightttt, Will, whatever you say!_ - she leaned down and whispered in Giles ear, "Aim for the horsies," and Giles did swerving the Winnie hard to the left.

They were being bounced and tossed all over the Winnie as it sped down the bumpy dirt road.

Xander felt the nausea rising up in him again. Oh shit, he was going to be sick! "Did we shake 'em?" He asked jaw clenched, trying not to vomit. He jumped half a foot when a broadsword pierced the roof inches from his head.

Everyone dove for cover as the Knight on the roof started thrusting the broadsword through the Winnie's roof in random spots. Everyone except Buffy, who yelled out needlessly, "Stay low! Watch out for..."

Spike lunged for the sword, grabbing it a second before it would have stabbed Buffy in the head. She ducked but she knew that if it wasn't for Spike she might be dead right now. He hung onto it for dear un-dead life, hissing in pain through his teeth. He continued to hold it as it sliced his hands, even as the Knight tried to pull it free.

"Now might be a good time for something heroic." Spike hissed at Buffy.

Buffy scanned the roof and spotted the hatch. Shit, she was too short to reach it! "Xander! Hatch!" Xander was lifting her up to the hatch almost before she had finished speaking. She smiled, feeling Faith cheering her on, feeling Faith wishing that she was there. Some things change, some things stayed the same, and Faith always did like a good fight. Buffy punched out the hatch and scrambled up onto the roof.

She sneaked up behind the Knight, as he pulled his sword free, and Spike screamed bloody murder from the pain. The Knight saw her shadow as she crept up behind him; he swung his sword at her. Buffy ducked and backed away as he swung at her again, lowering her center of gravity, she swept his feet out from under him. She came down on top of him, blocking another thrust of the sword, popped him and the sword fell from his hand. She hit him with a few left and right crosses, finally he managed to block her and get in a punch of his own. They wrestled, he managed to kick her in the head and Buffy felt herself falling over the side of the Winnie.

_Fuck me!_

She grabbed onto the railing, hanging there, another Knight approaching her on horseback. The Knight on the roof crouched low pulling back his arm to punch her. She sent him flying as she kicked upward, and then vaulted herself back onto the roof. They stood facing off against each other. Using grappling hooks another Knight began to climb up onto the roof; Buffy ignored him, concentrating instead on the one standing in front of her. She punched him hard, following up with a spinning roundhouse kick, sending him sailing off the roof screaming. She felt a 'Yay B!' come to her from Faith.

She turned and faced the two Knights who had crawled up onto the roof. One had an axe, the other a morning star. Feinting at the one with the morning star, she hit the other Knight with a fist-hammer punch, following up with a front-thrust-kick at the Knight with the morning star. Then hit the first Knight with a spinning roundhouse kick, ducking and turning she took a blow on her back, and returned the blow with a fist-hammer punch. Steeling herself she back-flipped, then hit them both with a double jumping-front-kick to the face.

Bending down fast, she picked up the broadsword the other Knight had dropped and began twirling it. The Knight swung the morning star at her; she blocked the swing with the sword and the chain from the morning star wrapped around it. Using that, she yanked the Knight towards her. The Knight with the axe tried to come up behind her, and she back-kicked him away from her. She spun the Knight with the morning star around using the sword and using a knee-strike, she kicked him in the stomach at the same time she let go of the sword and sent him off the roof of the camper.

She turned ducking, as the axe whistled harmlessly over her head, she hit the Knight in the chest with a hard kick. She grabbed the hand with the axe, and then hit him with a four-knuckle punch. She turned slightly hearing another Knight climbing up the side of the Winnie, the Knight with the axe grabbed her from behind. Swinging down she hit the hand holding the axe. Screaming in pain the Knight let go of the axe, which Buffy caught before it could hit the ground. Spinning she swung the axe at him, he barely ducked in time. She let go with a knife-edge kick, sending him too off the roof. Turning quickly she threw the axe at the Knight just topping the Winnie, it slammed into his chest knocking him from the ladder.

Buffy stood, her breathing rapid, erratic, hard. She looked down the road behind the moving Winnie and saw that it was empty. She had defeated all of the Knights. _'Yay me!' _she thought as she tried slowing down her breathing. It felt good to have finally kicked some ass, instead of getting her ass kicked!

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was lying on the bed, pillows propped up behind her. Her eyes were moving rapidly behind her closed lids, almost as if she was asleep and dreaming.

"Ye fucking ha! Ride em' cowboys!" She mumbled to the empty room. Now that was weird, how was it that she knew there were horses... and... Knights? It seemed that their odd echoing was expanding, she was still feeling Buffy's emotions but she was also getting vague impressions too. It was weird, sort of. It was like the echo she was getting was not only what Buffy felt but also of what Buffy felt when she saw a horse and Faith couldn't explain it. These new types of 'echoes' were forming a sort of pattern. And Faith was getting the feeling of what a horse was rather than actually seeing it through Buffy's eyes, and her mind was creating the image for her. She couldn't read Buffy's thoughts but she was sort of feeling them now too. It was almost like watching an odd sort of cartoon in her mind. Whatever it was, she just went with it, not questioning the connection anymore.

"Woo Hoo! You go B! Kick their asses!" Faith yelled out like a little kid.

Buffy was kicking some serious ass, and loving every minute of it, and Faith felt it. The adrenaline rush, blood pumping hard and roaring in your ears, the satisfaction that came with executing a move perfectly, the way your body moved gracefully and sensuously, muscles tightening, flexing, stretching, reacting without thought, letting just pure instinct take over.

Faith threw a right cross then a left cross at the empty air. Then she kicked out, sweeping imaginary feet out from under the ghost in her head. Her actions a second behind what Buffy was doing, it was almost like being there with her. Ut-oh, there were two of them now, but Buffy wasn't sweating it, and neither was Faith. Damn but she wished she was there!

It was over as quickly as it started. Faith could almost feel the wind whipping through her own hair. She felt the satisfaction that Buffy was feeling, and she smiled knowing that some of Buffy's self-confidence had been restored, she sent B that smile.

_That was wicked cool. You rock B!_

Damn but she was hungry! And how fucked up was she? 'Cause she felt horny too, even though she really hadn't fought. Then again she couldn't be all that fucked up, 'cause Buffy was feeling that way too.

_Always knew B, that slaying made ya hungry and horny!_

The Chosen Two, one in the hotel room, the other standing on top of the moving Winnebago, realized they were both feeling the same way, they smiled in sync, and savored the moment.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It was quiet inside of the Winnie, Giles glanced in the side view mirror and saw that there weren't any more Knights behind them, he gave a sigh of relief.

He glanced back over his shoulder at the Scoobs and asked, "Everyone all right?" He returned his gaze to the road smiling slightly it appeared that they were all, for the most part, no worse for the wear and tear. His eyes opened wide in surprise and horror when he saw what or rather who was coming right at the Winnie.

A Knight on horseback was heading straight for them. The Knight raised his arm and tossed a spear right at the front windshield, Giles twisted the wheel trying to avoid the spear as it came hurdling at him. It shattered the windshield and impaled Giles before he could get out of the way. He slumped over the wheel, passing out, and the Winnie went careering recklessly down the road out of control.

The Winnie veered off the road, bouncing, and lurching over potholes; it hit the loose gravel hard and began to tilt, starting to tip over.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy was standing on the roof of the Winnie. _[Faith shared Buffy's enjoyment of the wind blowing through her hair and their shared arousal from the fight.] _She was struggling to stay on her feet and the roof of the Winnie, as it swerved sharply, hitting potholes and jostling her. _[Faith felt the confusion roll over Buffy, and her struggle to stay on the roof.]_

Buffy leaped off the roof. _[She felt Buffy's sensation of flying through the air.]_ Buffy landed hard, rolling, until she finally sat up, turning to look at the Winnie down the road from her. _[Faith got 'echoes' of pain, and a jarring in her bones, as Buffy landed hard on the side of the dirt road.]_

Buffy watched as the Winnie careened out of control and tipped over, skidding in the dirt on its side. _[An 'echo' of fear for Dawn, Giles and the Scoobs streaked through Faith, and she shuddered in horror with Buffy, and felt as Buffy leaned into her seeking her strength.]_

_'What the fuck just happened?' _Both Slayers thought in sync.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They limped away from the wrecked Winnie, Buffy and Xander supporting Giles between them. They made their way as quickly as possible to the abandoned gas station in the distance. With the exception of Giles who was losing blood and unconscious, everyone was fine, suffering only a few bumps, scrapes and bruises.

Spike kicked open the door, he felt a lot like a piece of bacon left on the fire a tad too long, the blanket he was holding over his head had offered only minimal protection from the sun's rays. Xander and Buffy gently laid Giles down on one of the counter tops. His stomach covered in his own blood.

There were three connecting rooms, and an out of order pay phone. The service garage off to the side was boarded up, as well as all the windows in the station. However, it was possible to peek outside by looking through the narrow gaps between the boards that had been put up haphazardly.

Willow cast a healing spell on Giles at Buffy's half-spoken request and was able to slow down the bleeding, but she was unable to stop the bleeding completely, the damage was too extensive.

Buffy peeked out through one of the gaps in the boards scanning the barren landscape nervously. She turned away from the window, and walked over to check on Giles. Snapping at everyone who got in her way, she was on her last leg, she was overloaded and the responsibility for getting them all out of this alive weighted her down like never before.

_Please... Please... don't let me lose him too..._

Buffy couldn't even wrap her mind around the thought of losing the man who had been more of a father to her than her own. She felt as the tears began to well up in her eyes, and before she had a chance to shed them, the shit hit the proverbial fan again.

Everyone dove for cover as flaming arrows came flying through the boarded up windows, everyone except Xander, who risked sneaking a peek out one of the gaps.

"We got company... and they brought a Crusade!"

"Willow!" Buffy yelled, as she heard the sound of axes hitting the walls, as the Knights rushed the gas station.

"I'm working on it!" Willow yelled back, grabbing her spell book and desperately paging through it.

The agonizing sound of wood as it splintered filled the air. The walls trembled with the force of the Knights attack. They gained entrance into the gas station through the now broken down office door. Buffy felt the adrenaline coursing through her, Slayer-Mode kicked in, and she began throwing punches and kicks, knocking the Knights that came at her out of commission. Vaguely she heard Spike scream in pain after hitting and taking out one of the Knights.

"The Key!" Buffy spun around and saw Gregor. His broadsword raised and poised to strike Dawn.

Quickly Buffy grabbed a mace from one of the fallen Knights and hurled it at him, striking his sword hand. Gregor dropped his sword as the pain ran straight from his hand and up his arm, he turned and looked right into the eyes of the Slayer, and if looks could kill, he knew he would be dead. He charged at Buffy and she punched him hard in the face, knocking him into a beam, a smile of satisfaction on her face as she watched him fall to the floor unconscious.

There were too many of them, they were smashing chain mailed hands through the rotten boards of the abandoned gas station. Xander thought almost hysterically to himself that it was like a warped version of _'Camelot Meets the Night of the Living Dead'_.

"Enemies, fly and fall...circling arms, raise a wall!" Willow chanted, her eyes once again glowing black with an unholy light. She raised her arms and the near equivalent of a nuclear explosion, exploded out from around her, out through the walls, flinging and throwing the Knights backwards like dolls.

Willow's nose was bleeding, and she casually wiped away the blood with her sleeve, acting as if it were an everyday occurrence. She brushed off their concerned inquiries as to her well-being, more concerned about the two clerics outside chanting, trying to punch a hole in the energy barrier she had put up around the gas station.

Spike walked over and looked down at Gregor lying unconscious on the ground, massaging his temples. "So. What's the story with these role-playing rejects?"

Her voice hard, Buffy said, "Let's find out."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Faith was going crazy, getting vague impressions, she knew Giles was hurt badly and silently she prayed with Buffy that he would be all right. She was pacing around the room trying to control her own fear, not fear for herself, but fear for them. She could feel how tired Buffy was, how bone weary, how defeated she was starting to feel, her world was reeling, and Faith was frustrated and angry with herself for ever leaving. Fuck! She should be there! Instead, all she could do was try to send Buffy her energy, her strength, her love, support and every other fucking emotion she could think of to try and uplift her.

Then the adrenaline rush hit her and she knew Buffy was fighting again. Unable to just stand there and do nothing, she began punching and kicking at imaginary enemies. Had the Chosen Two been able to see each other, they would have seen that they were executing the same exact moves, in perfect synchronicity with each other.

Faith turned and felt a moment of fear, for... for... Dawn, followed by a murderous rage, and then she was bending picking up an imaginary weapon and hurling it. She threw a punch, and then felt the adrenaline rush leave her. She felt a nervous calm come over Buffy, and sighed in relief knowing that they were all safe, at least for a little while.

Then unable to contain her own fear and rage she pivoted and put her fist through the wall, relishing the pain, and cursing herself again for not being there.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy, Dawn, Xander and Spike looked at Gregor who was tied to one of the lifts that were used to raise the cars. Gregor was glaring at Buffy and she was glaring right back.

"You sure _Scarface_ here can _habla _the English?"

Buffy kept her eyes on Gregor when she answered Spike, "He understands me. Don't you?"

"You were warned we would return, Slayer."

"Took you long enough." Looking at his tattoo she asked him, "You supposed to be some kind of chief?"

Not breaking eye contact with Buffy, he glowered at her, trying to intimidate her. "General."

It didn't work, she stared him down and sarcastically asked; "In charge of what? Getting captured?"

"You do not frighten me, child." Turning his gaze away from Buffy, he locked eyes with Dawn. Dawn squirmed, frighten by the look he was giving her. "The instrument of chaos will be destroyed..."

Within a second Buffy was on him. _[Faith felt Buffy's control slip and rage well up in her.] _Buffy grabbed Gregor roughly by the face, twisting his face back hard to look at her. "Look at her that way again, and she'll be the last thing you ever see." Buffy snarled at him.

"As I was told. You protect the Key of the Beast." He snarled back.

Buffy backed away from him. _[Buffy was struggling to regain her composure and Faith surrounded her with calming thoughts.]_"It's not that simple."

For the first time Buffy saw something other than hate on his face. Gregor's face softened and he looked at Dawn with something that was almost akin to the concerned eyes of a father.

"Yes. The Key has been transformed. Given breath. Life." He continued telling Buffy sadly, "Yet this makes no difference. The Key is the link. The link must be severed. Such is the will of God."

Buffy quickly looked at Dawn out of the corner of her eye and saw how scared she was. _[Faith felt Buffy get upset.]_

"She doesn't remember anything about being this Key everyone's looking for! All she remembers is growing up with a mother and a sister that love her. What kind of god would demand her life for something she has no control over?" Buffy waited for him to respond, when he didn't she softly told him, "We're not your enemy. Tell your men to stand down."

Gregor hesitated but a second before answering her, "No."

"It's not her fault! She's human now!" Buffy yelled! _[Faith felt it as Buffy lost her composure again.]_

"The Key is too dangerous to be allowed to exist... no matter what form it has been pressed into."

Buffy moved closer to him menacingly. _[Echoing waves of anger rolled over Faith, and she knew whatever was happening was not good, not good at all.]_

"I'm not going to let anyone..." Buffy trailed off as she heard wailing coming from the other room from Tara.

"Buffy!" Anya yelled.

_'Now what?' _Both Slayers thought in sync.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Tara raged in the gas station.

Orlando raged outside of the gas station.

The patients raged at Sunnydale General Hospital.

All whispering, yelling out 'Time... it's time... it's time..."

Tara broke free from Willow scrambling for the door, clawing at it, falling to her knees, sobbing.

Dante pulled Orlando tightly into his embrace, and slipped a dagger into Orlando's heart to stop his pain. And Dante saw the moment of sanity in Orlando's eyes before he died.

The patients at Sunnydale General Hospital broke free of their restraints, knocking the nurses aside. They made their way out of the hospital into the night.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Giles was barely conscious, but he felt Buffy gripping his hand fiercely. _[Buffy was struggling to keep from falling apart into tiny little pieces, and Faith silently cursed herself again for not being there. She did the only thing she could; she visualized surrounding Buffy with her arms, with her love.]_

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"We should have stayed. If we had, none of this..."

"Don't," Giles paused for a brief second, his face etched with pain. "What you did... w-was necessary... what I've always admired."

"Running away?" Buffy smiled at him.

"Being able to place... your heart... above all else." He paused again taking a pained breath. "I'm so proud of you. How far you've come. You're everything a Watcher... everything I could have hoped for ..."

_'Everything a father could hope for...'_ He thought to himself before he drifted back into unconsciousness.

Buffy continued to cling to Giles hand after he passed out. _[Faith's own bone deep sorrow joined that of Buffy's. She could feel Buffy struggling to find answers, struggling to figure out what to do. She smiled when an echo of calm determination come to her from Buffy and she knew Buffy had made her decision.]_

"Willow," Buffy waited for Willow to look up at her, "Open a door."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Car lights shined into the gas station and they all turned their head towards the door when they heard the car screech to a halt outside. The Knights surround the car their weapons at the ready, and Ben's eyes flickered with fear. Taking a deep breath, he squashed down his fear, grabbed his medical bag and got out of the car.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They all watch him worriedly as he examined Giles. It was Xander they had to thank that Ben was here, Buffy had been making very little progress in getting the Knights to allow help to come for Giles until Xander had stepped in and reminded them of the _'Rules of War'_, and that they had their General, Gregor.

Buffy had tried to use the phone a second time to call Faith, but it seemed that the spell Willow had cast to get it to work was a one shot deal. Willow had tried casting the spell again for her but it hadn't worked. Had she not been so worried about Giles she might have thought to have Ben call Faith for her. Then again, maybe it was for the best, because Faith would have wanted to come here and there was no way she could have gotten past the Knights outside. And Buffy wasn't going to put Faith in danger too, no matter how much she wanted her here.

She purposely tried to block Faith from knowing that she was only about fifteen minutes down the road from the abandoned gas station. Buffy could have run to the motel without breaking a sweat if she wanted to, and she desperately wanted to.

Buffy hovered close to Giles as Ben finished applying a fresh dressing to Giles wound. They talked, Buffy trying to explain away the weird version of Camelot outside, while Ben just seemed casually to brush it off. Had she been in a clearer state of mind she might have wondered at his casualness of the completely weird situation like any other normal person. Instead, she focused on Giles holding his hand, watching his chest, making sure he was still breathing. When she was sure that Giles wasn't going to stop breathing she wandered into the back where they were keeping Gregor and heard the tail end of Spike and Xander's conversation.

"Could make a run for it. Use General Armor-All as a shield, get to the doc's car and..."

"Great plan. And while all the hacking and slashing is going on, what are you going to be doing? Throwing migraines at 'em?"

"Look, we stay here, we all die. At least this way some of us might..."

"No!" Buffy cut Spike off, the man and the vampire turned to look at her. "We're all going to make it. I'm not losing anyone." _[Faith felt Buffy try to sound confident, but there was an additional echo of underlying fear and denial too. And Faith had a funny feeling that whoever Buffy was talking to would be able to hear a little of it in her voice if they just listened. Faith also realized that as this day had progressed the echo which was how she now referred to this new connection, had been getting stronger, broadening and she knew that Buffy was beginning to realize it too. Faith opened herself up totally to it, and just let herself feel all that Buffy was feeling, was doing.]_

Buffy stared at Spike; he stared back and then dropped his gaze. "Check the supplies. See if anyone's hungry." She watched them as they left and turned back around when she heard Gregor's amused laughter, and moved closer to him.

"Dissension in the ranks. Seldom the harbinger of glad tidings."

Something snapped and Buffy raised her hand swinging it... _[Fuck! Buffy had lost her control again! And Faith's own hand rose up swinging, slapping the ghost face of the Knight in front of her. 'Easy B' Faith sent to her.]_

"Shut up!" Dispassionately Buffy watched as the General spat out blood, not caring that he was _'human' _and that she had just physically hurt him. She felt Faith surrounding her with her love, her strength, enveloping her, almost as if she was here holding her in her arms, and mentally she leaned into that touch.

Gregor looked at her with pity, with sadness. "Poor, frightened girl. You've no idea what you've gotten yourself into."

"Then why don't you fill me in?"

"Would it make a difference?" Gregor locked eyes with her. He saw the desperation in her eyes for a brief second. Maybe, just maybe he thought to himself he could make her understand why they needed to do this, maybe he could reach past the human weakness in her that saw the _'Key' _as her sister, and not what it really was. Make her see that while the _'Key' _may be in human form, nothing about it, or what she remembered about it, was real. "What do you know of the Beast?"

"Strong. Fast. Hellgod."

"From a dimension of unspeakable torment."

"A demon dimension, I know. There were two other Hellgods that ruled with her, weren't there?"

"Along with the Beast, they were a triumvirate of suffering and despair, ruling with equal vengeance. But the power of the Beast grew beyond even what they could conceive - as did her lust for pain and misery. They looked upon her, what she had become... and trembled."

"A god afraid?"

"Such was her power. They feared she would attempt to seize the dimension for herself, and decided to strike first. A great battle erupted. The very bowels of Hell trembled as the war of the gods spanned a thousand years. In the end, they stood victorious over the Beast... barely. She was cast out, banished to this _'lower'_ plane of existence, forced to live and ultimately die trapped within the body of a mortal, a newborn male, created as her prison. Her own living Hell."

"Wait... male?"

"That was her punishment. To finish an ageless existence buried deep inside the flesh tomb of a normal average human man. A man that would grow, age, and eventually die, like all the rest of us. That is the Beast's only weakness."

Buffy nodded at Gregor. _[Faith felt as an of understanding of something dawn on Buffy... but she didn't know what it was for.]_

"Kill the man, and the god dies."

Gregor nodded and smiled at her, thinking he was getting through to her. "Unfortunately the identity of the human vessel has never been discovered."

"I don't understand. I've seen Glory. Not a whole lot going on in the hairy chest department."

"You have seen a glimpse of the true Beast. Her power was too great to be completely contained. She's found a way to escape her mortal prison for brief periods before her energies are exhausted and she's forced back into her living cell of meat and bone."

"What about me?" Dawn asked from the doorway of the garage, Buffy turned to her. "What about the Key?"

"Dawn..."

Dawn looked at her sister, she may be scared, but one thing she had learned from Buffy was not to let fear rule you, not to let it stop you from doing or asking the hard things or questions. It was and still was one of things Dawn admired in her sister, Giles, the Scoobs, and, over the last few weeks in Faith. Especially Faith who Dawn knew had spent a good part, if not most of her life ruled by fear, and had managed to conquer it and turn her life around. "I want to know."

Buffy looked at her sister and she had to admire her. The kid was tough; as she looked at Dawn, she saw the determination and the fear. And Buffy knew it was a face that she herself had worn many times, and so had Faith. Dawn, like them, was refusing to let her fear make her run or back down. Proud of her sister Buffy turned back to Gregor and waited for him to answer her. _[She felt the pride Buffy was feeling for her sister, and oddly enough for Faith herself.]_

"The Key is almost as old as the Beast itself. Where it came from, how it was created - the deepest of mysteries. All that is certain is that its power is absolute. Countless generations of my people have sacrificed their lives in search of it, to destroy it before its wrath could be unleashed."

"But the monks found it first."

"Yes. And hid it with their magicks." Gregor voice was bitter when he spat out his answer to Dawn's question.

"Why didn't they destroy it? If the Key's as dangerous as you..." Gregor cut Buffy off before she could finish.

"Because they were fools! They thought they could harness its power for the forces of light. They failed... and paid with their blood."

"What do I do? What was I created for?"

"You were created to open the gates that separate dimensions. The Beast will use your power to return home and seize control of the Hell she was banished from."

Buffy and Dawn were stunned. Then Buffy laughed. _[Stunned relief, relief was good, and laughter, that was good too. And Faith smiled.]_

"That's it? That's Glory's master plan... to go home?"

"You misunderstand. Once the Key is activated, it won't just open a gate to the Beast's dimension... it's going to open all the gates. The walls separating realities will crumble." _[The amusement and relief faded and Faith thought, 'What now?'.]_

"Dimensions will bleed into one another. Order will be overthrown and the universe will tumble into chaos. All dark. Forever." He paused and turned to look at Dawn. "That is what you were created for."

A feeling of devastation crawled over Dawn's skin. _Oh God, please no!_

_[Echoing waves of devastation and despair came at Faith. Then she felt as Buffy reached out for her, seeking her love, her strength, and Faith gave them to her, leaning further into the feel of Buffy being inside her.]_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Buffy walked through the doorway looking for her sister; she was sitting at a table with her back to the door. There was something so lost, so alone about Dawn that it made Buffy's heart hurt.

"Dawn."

"You think it's true... what he said?" She said it softly not turning around. Buffy sighed, and moved to join Dawn, sitting down next to her. They looked at each other, looked for answers.

_[Faith could feel Buffy struggling, looking deep inside herself for an answer, and not finding one.]_

"I don't know."

"Destroyer of the universe." Dawn paused trying to calm herself, holding back the tears she desperately wanted to cry. "Guess cutting school doesn't seem so bad now, huh?"

"It's not you... You know that."

"But it's in me, isn't it? It's inside me... What are we going to do?"

_[Uncertainty, worry, and concern for... Dawn? Yes, Dawn. Faith could feel as Buffy surrounded Dawn with her love. She closed her eyes and visualized her love for both of them, expanding it to surround them, to enfold them in it, just like Angel had taught her to do. And she prayed silently that not just Buffy, but Dawn would feel it too.]_

Buffy pulled her sister into her arms, and rested her cheek against her head and promised her softly, "I won't let anything happen to you, Dawn... I promise." _[I promise too, Gamin.]_

Dawn leaned into her sister, taking comfort in her strength, in her love, and didn't think it was odd that she felt like Faith was there with them too.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Gregor looked the doctor over carefully as he cleaned his surgical equipment in the sink. He wasn't a part of this little rag-tag group of the Slayers, maybe he had a chance with him.

"You!" Ben froze. Did the General know who or what he was? "You are not a part of this, are you?"

Ben relaxed, and suppressed the sigh of relief. "Just a friend of the family"

"And would you die for them?" Ben turned around and faced him. Gregor smiled at him, though it was more of a grimace. "Because that is what your future holds if you align yourself with the Slayer and her misguided people."

"It's my life. I'll do what I please with it."

"It's not just your life. Unimaginable legions will perish, including everyone here." Gregor lowered his voice, continuing to speak to Ben as if they were co-conspirators, "You can stop this. You can save all their lives... by ending one. The little girl. The Key. Destroy it, and the will of the Beast will be broken. She will fade, a distant memory... and this madness will end."

Ben turned his back to Gregor; he was thoughtfully considering his words. This might be his only chance to destroy the 'K... to destroy Glory, and be free of her, free to live his own life. He had to wonder if someone up there liked him, otherwise why would it have been him of all people that Dawn had let slip that she was the _'Key'_. Him that Buffy had called for help.

That had to mean something. Didn't it?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Dawn watched Giles, he was still unconscious. She saw that he was in pain, could hear it in his labored breathing. The concern, the love for Giles was written clearly across her face.

Ben approached, he quickly scanned the room, he was alone with Dawn. He chatted with Dawn about Giles condition, while he checked Giles pulse.

"You don't know what's happening." Dawn told Ben softly, her eyes still fixed on Giles.

"I don't have to." Ben moved behind Dawn over to his medical bag. He took a hypo out and began to prepare it as he continued to talk to Dawn. "I just know that sometimes terrible things happen to good people. It shouldn't, but... it does. And it's nobody's fault." Ben turned away from his bag, the hypo poised; he saw that Dawn's back was still to him. He slowly approached her from behind, his face unreadable, as his mind warred with itself. His voice softened as he continued speaking. "That's just the way life is," he paused but a second when he reached her side, then moved past her and gave Giles the shot and watched as the older man's face relaxed.

"Is that going to help?" Dawn looked at his back and saw him stiffened; worry began to etch her face. "Ben?"

The hypo dropped from his nerveless fingers. He felt the terror, the panic start to overwhelm him, freezing him to the spot. Glory was coming, forcing her way out.

_'Oh god NO! Not now! Not now you fucking bitch! Gotta get out of here!'_ and that thought broke his paralysis. He turned quickly and went tearing into the garage bay where Gregor was tied up. Dawn followed him, right on his heels.

"You have to let me out!" He pleaded in a voice laced with panic, with terror.

"Ben..."

"You don't understand! I got to get out! Open a door! NOW!"

Spike and Buffy rushed in and looked at the terror stricken Ben.

"What happened?"

"I don't know! He just freaked out!"

"LET ME OUT!" Ben was frantic.

"Okay, W-Will, open a..."

Buffy was cut off by Ben's wordless scream of agony. _'Nonononononononotoolatetoolate'_, he thought, and could only get out an agonized cry of _'NO!'_ The change came over him quickly, quicker than ever before, and they all stood there in shock, in horror, at what they were seeing. Buffy pushed Dawn behind her, and took up a fighting stance. An echo came to her, and Buffy could have sworn it was Faith's voice in her head saying, _'What the fuck's happening?'_

Glory stretched, surprised for a second, and then quickly took in her surroundings. She smiled evilly in delight. "Well what do you know! Little Ben finally did something right."

"The Beast!" Gregor was genuinely terrified for the first time in his life. His voice trembled and his body quickly followed.

"Hey! It's Gregor!" Before anyone could move, Glory grabbed an old rusted hubcap off the workbench and flung it at Gregor like a Frisbee. It sliced through the air, and buried itself into his chest, his spinal cord stopping it from slicing him completely in half. Gregor's eyes showed only a second of surprise, then the light died out of them, and his body slumped forward as he died. "Now it's not."

Screaming bloody murder, Spike launched himself at Glory, Xander half a step behind him. Glory whirled and backhanded Spike across the chest, sending him flying into Xander, knocking them both into the wall a few feet away, where they slid down to the floor.

Hearing Tara whimper in fear, Willow's eyes flashed black, the unholy light glowing from them once again. She lowered her head and closed her eyes, and began to chant in Latin.

Buffy propelled herself at Glory with brutal force, while Spike and Xander tried to untangle themselves from each other and regain their feet. Without a thought, Glory swatted at Buffy like she was no more than just an irritating fly. The force of Glory's hit lifted Buffy off her feet, flinging her backwards. Airborne, she crashed into Willow, sending them both slamming into the wall. Both women bounced off the wall and landed painfully in a heap on the floor, Buffy's leg twisting under her.

Glory smiled, turned and looked at Dawn. She laughed at the fright she saw on Dawn's face. She moved quickly, and grabbed Dawn by the hand and started dragging her. Anya rushed forward and grabbed Dawn's other arm, effortlessly, Glory pulled Dawn free of Anya, and started running towards the door.

"Buffy!" Dawn screamed, the terror thick in her voice.

Buffy struggled painfully back up to her feet, and watched in horror as Glory crashed through the door taking her sister with her.

Glory's headlong rush into the night was stopped as she slammed into Willow's barrier. With a look of contempt, she sneered, "Yeah right!" Swinging her arm Glory's fist smashed into the barrier, punching a hole in it. Energy cracked from around the edges of the hole as it started to close almost immediately. Not wasting any time Glory pulled Dawn through the hole with her.

Buffy ran out of the smashed door in time to see Glory pulling her sister through the hole. Running as fast as she could, she dove at the hole not making it in time, and collided painfully into the now closed barrier.

"Dawn!" The Chosen Two yelled together in anguish, one from the parking lot of the abandoned gas station, one from inside the room of the run-down rattrap motel.

To the sound of the Knight's battle cries, mixed with sounds of the dying, Buffy turned and ran with a slight limp back into the abandoned garage. She used the pain to keep herself from total panic, as the image of her sister's terror filled face threatened to overwhelm her.

"Willow!" Willow raised her head looking at Buffy when she yelled; her eyes were already glowing darkly with the unholy light. "Get it down! Now!"

"Hear... hear my plea... circling arms protecting me..."

Buffy turned around again running outside; the barrier crackled and disappeared before her eyes. Skidding to a halt, she slowly limped forward, her mind rebelling at the horror she was seeing around her. Scattered around her were the broken dead bodies of the Knights of Byzantium and the clerics. Buffy choked, forcing the bile back down.

Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara and Spiked rushed out from the building behind Buffy. They all slowed, then stopped as they too stood staring in horror at the carnage around them. The sight even made Spike feel sick, and the thought that the _'thing' _responsible for doing this now had Little Bit made him reel with terror. Something he had not really felt in over a hundred years.

"We have to..." Willow trailed off, not even sure what it was she wanted to say, not yet able to even form a coherent thought.

Buffy slowly kept walking forward, her mind almost numb, her world reeling, she turned her head when she heard the dying gasp of the Knight called Dante; _'The Beast.'_

Xander and Spike stood deathly still and staring, both frozen with shock. Tara whimpered and buried her face in Willow's shoulder; the whimper broke Spike out of his daze.

"The car! Get the keys!" Spike pointed at Ben's car, the motion of his hand released Xander from his daze, and both rushed towards the car.

Buffy stood still, her eyes wide with shock; unable to accept what she was seeing, what had happened. Willow, Tara, and Anya moved forward towards her. Buffy's knees threatened to give out on her, her eyes filled with tears, she failed, she let them all down, and Glory had her sister. _'DAWN! I'M SORRY! OHGODNO!' _her mind screamed. Her promise to her sister meant nothing; she has failed her totally, completely.

"Buffy! Buffy, we have to find Dawn. We... We can't let Glory..."

Buffy knees finally gave out and she fell crying, sitting down hard on the ground. Her mind shutting down, as a deep down to her bones fear settled in, hurling her down a dark tunnel into the abyss of her mind. Away from all of this... away from the carnage around her... the harsh reminder of her failure. She let herself fall into the darkness, welcoming the coldness of its absolute blackness. She was tired... afraid... without hope for the first time in her life... and helpless in the wake of all that had happened.

"Buffy? Buffy!"

Willow walked towards Buffy, bringing Tara with her. Her concern for the blond-haired Slayer was quickly turning to fear over what was happening to her best friend.

"Buffy...You have to get up... We need you..." Willow looked down at Buffy and saw the silent tears that ran down her face, and watched as the light slowly faded from Buffy's eyes. "Buffy, please! Buffy..."

The silent tears continued to fall from Buffy's now empty, dead eyes, and Willow's voice began to fade... As the reality of losing, of failing her sister slammed into Buffy again, sending her tumbling over the edge that she had been teetering on, into the dark, cool, calm of the open arms of complete silence and darkness...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**"DAWN!"** Faith screamed out into the empty room again, her gut twisting in fear, her body shaking in terror. She hadn't felt this kind of terror or helplessness since she was a child.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THERE YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Came a yell from one of the rooms next to her.

**"FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!" **Faith screamed back putting her fist through the wall again.

She was reeling, her mind in a tailspin. In the last five minutes, she had gotten so many different echoes from Buffy that she felt dizzy, disoriented. They were coming at her so hard and fast that she was powerless, unable to block them. The only thing she knew for sure was that Glory had Dawn, and that she had failed them.

She tried to calm her erratic breathing and concentrate, she began to focus, trying to find her center, and then the wave of desolation, the despondency, hit her like a blow to the stomach, doubling her over. Tumbling over it was the helplessness, the hopelessness that Buffy was feeling. The utter absolute failure Buffy felt at losing Dawn. They called out to their sisters that had lived inside of Faith for so long, awaking them again, the weight of them bringing Faith to her knees.

She felt as Buffy started to slide down the dark tunnel, one that Faith was all too familiar with, and cried out for Buffy to come back hoarsely. Afraid for her, afraid of what Faith knew lay in the darkness Buffy was descending into. Then Buffy's bone-deep fear and sorrow joined forces with the despair and anguish and they crashed into Faith, joining with her own escalating emotions.

She too hadn't kept her promises. Her promise to Buffy to kept Dawn safe no matter what. Her promise to Dawn. She had failed like she always failed, and Faith felt herself following Buffy down that tunnel, welcoming the darkness, the silence, the numbness, that she knew existed there, and her silent tears joined that of the keeper of her heart and soul.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Gronx and Murk were packing. They talked about Glory in low tones, grumbling under their fetid breath about her and her many possessions. She yelled to them from the other room, letting them know that she could hear them. They scurried quickly into the other room, bickering and blaming the other on their way. She glared at them; they bowed to her in supplication, in fear. Hitting, and pushing each other, stopping immediately when Glory waved a hand at them bored with their behavior.

"Guys - I'm not gonna kill you. Not in the mood... What do you think that's about?" A look of confusion crossed her face.

"In mercy does your power lie?"

Glory looked at Gronx like he was an idiot, which she thought to herself he was, all her minions were, they did serve a purpose though.

"No, brainless. In torture, death and chaos does my power lie. So tell me. Why am I not popping your head like a zit right now?" She looked to them for an answer and all she received was openmouthed stares, and dumfounded expressions. Did she honestly think that they would know? Righttttt! "Maybe I'm just hungry."

"Yes! We shall fetch a ..."

"Nah, I'm not hungry." She began pacing, the seamstress minion, who had been working on her ceremonial robe following behind her. "Uhhh! I'm just a little tight in this skin, is all. I've been waiting an eternity - well, twenty-five human years - and it all comes down to tonight."

"The portal shall open."

"And the Great Glorificus shall return."

"To the Hell I came from. Where I'm gonna rain down more super-sized portions of slaughter, mayhem, and bloodshed than you scabs can even dream about." She flopped down ungracefully onto the sofa, a look of confusion again on her face. "So how come I ain't happy?" The minions looked at her even more confused than before. "I got everything I ever wanted. Still - something's off." She raised her hand, twirling, stretching her wrist as if it were stiff. Looking up, she turned her head and asked, "I don't know... What do you think?"

Bound and gagged, tears silently falling, terrified, Dawn stared back at Glory.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They were still at the abandoned gas station, Spike had managed to hotwire Ben's car, but no one moved to get in. Giles was thankfully conscious, in pain, but sitting up. Buffy was sitting on the floor, hands in her lap, her eyes empty, staring at nothing, catatonic, still shrouded in her silence.

Willow had been trying repeatedly to reach Buffy, calling her name, and getting no response. They needed to get out of here, it had been almost a half an hour since Glory had taken Dawn. Still they sat or stood, staring at Buffy waiting for her to move.

Xander and Spike started arguing over what was wrong with her. Spike having had enough already, roughly grabbed Buffy by the shoulders shaking her, trying to snap her out of it. They look at him with skepticism, he was scared, and he was pissed that he was scared, but he wasn't about to let them know that. He grabbed Buffy again, and shook her even harder, still no response. Taking a deep breath that he didn't need, Spike pulled back his hand and slapped Buffy hard across the face, and then immediately grabbed his head in pain.

_GODDAMN FUCKING BLOODY CHIP!_

Xander grabbed Spike and shoved him away from Buffy screaming at him, "Are you insane!? We could be dealing with neurological damage here. You want to kill her?"

"We've got to do something! I can't just sit here watching. You waste time with kid gloves. I'm willing to  
>gamble when all's said and done... Buffy likes it rough." Spike was on the edge of total panic.<p>

Xander turned and punched him in the face; they began to go at it.

Willow raised her head, her eyes not quite black, and said one word in a quiet hard voice, "Separate."

Some unseen force pushed Xander and Spike back, away from each other. They were freaked and stared at Willow, as did Giles and Anya, they all waited for an explanation from Willow.

Standing still, she turned her head and looked at each of them. This was not the Willow they all knew. A little bit of the unholy light still glowed in her eyes as she glared at them. When she finally spoke, her voice was calm, determined, intense, and soft. "Buffy's out. Glory has Dawn. Sometime real soon she's gonna use Dawn to tear down the barrier between every dimension there is so if you two want to fight, you do it after the world ends. 'kay?" While she had phrased it as a question, there was no mistaking it for one, she was telling them, not asking. Neither wanted to try to find out what would happen if they decided to test her.

Spike glared at Xander. Xander ignored Spike and moved away from him and joined Giles and Anya at the counter. Willow waited until everyone was still again before she continued. "Alright. First, we head back to Sunnydale. Xander'll take Giles to a hospital. Anya's looking after Tara, and Spike... you find Glory. Check her apartment first see if she's still there. Try anything stupid like payback and I will get very cranky." She paused and looked at each one of them again. "Everyone clear? Or do we have questions?"

There was long pause, they were scared of her, and a part of Willow was relishing that fear. Anya slowly, cautiously, tentatively raised her hand.

"Anya."

"Um... w-what will you do?" Okay, maybe not a good idea, Anya thought after she spoke.

"I'll help Buffy."

"Okay, then."

"The world is spinning." Willow moved over to Tara, her expression her mannerisms, her voice immediately softened. "The world is spinning. Straight, to the new day. Big day, big big day ..."

"Shh, shh..." Willow gently told Tara, who began whimpering. Spiked moved closer to them, hesitant, afraid of the redhead that he always had thought was cute, but timid.

"Uh, Will?... Now, uh, don't turn me into a horned toad for asking, but... what if we come across Ben?" Spike was confused when they all turned and looked at him like he was stupid for even asking Willow that.

"Nothing, I don't think a doctor's what Buffy needs right now."

"Well, yeah. 'Specially not one who also happens to be Glory." Now he was sure they were looking at him like he had two heads, in fact they all looked confused too.

"What do you mean?"

"You know... Ben is Glory." Spike enunciated slowly, getting a little frustrated and confused himself.

"You mean... Ben's with Glory?" Willow was frowning at him, wondering what game Spike was up to now.

"_With_ in what sense?"

"They're working together?"

"No no. Ben is Glory. Glory's Ben. They're one and the same." Spike grounded out between clenched teeth.

_Bloody stupid humans!_

"When did all this happen?"

"Not one hour ago! Right here, before your very eyes! Ben came, turned into Glory, snatched the kid, and... phht!... vanished. Remember?" Spike was practically squeaking by the time he finished. They were all staring at him with the same blank stare that both Buffy and Tara now shared. Uncertainly he asked them, "You do remember?" He paused squinting at all of them, wondering if they had gotten into Ben's medical bag. "Is everyone here very stoned?" They continued to stare at him with that same confused, blank look, like he had been drinking some drunk person's blood. Now he was bloody annoyed! "Ben! Glory! He's a doctor. She's the Beast! Two entirely separate entities, sharing one body! It's like a bloody sitcom! Surely, you remember!"

Nope! He could see they still weren't getting it. Spike had to force down the urge to slap Xander silly when he started talking to him like he was a two-year-old. "So you're saying... Ben, and Glory ..."

"Have a... connection..." Anya finished for Xander.

"Yes, obviously. But what kind?" Giles mused aloud.

Suddenly it was like someone had turned on the lights in Spikes head, he laughed and nodded to himself. "Ah! I get it. Very crafty. Glory's worked the kind of mojo where anyone who sees her little presto-chango instantly forgets. And yours truly, being somewhat other than human, stands immune."

"So... Ben and Glory... are... are... the same person?" Willow was still frowning, not sure if she had it right or not.

"Glory can turn into Ben, and Ben turns back into Glory." Xander's voice was low, awed, as he were speaking about finding _'Noah's Ark'_.

"And anyone who sees it instantly forgets."

_'Score one for the ex-vengeance demon!'_

Spiked nodded and put his finger on his nose, and pointed his other hand at Anya as if they had been playing a game of charades. "And a kewpie doll for the lady."

"Excellent." Giles paused and looked at all of them. "Now. Do we suspect there could be any kind of link between Ben and Glory?"

They turn and looked at Spike expectantly, forcing air out of his lungs that he didn't have he just sighed very loudly, and rolled his eyes, he really wanted to growl at them, but he didn't want to get stuck out here in the middle of fucking nowhere.

_Stupid bloody humans. Fucking stupid fucking chip!_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Willow grabbed Tara's hand, Xander and Anya supported Giles between them, and Spiked picked up the deathly still Slayer. They walked out into the night, all acutely aware of the missing member of their road trip crew and of the silence that hung heavy and thick in the air.

While Faith, all alone in the run-down rattrap motel, eyes empty, was on her knees, ensnared in the tunnel of her own absolute darkness and silence.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Hello darkness, my old friend, I've come to talk with you again. ~ Because a vision softly creeping, left its seeds while I lay sleeping. ~ And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence.

- Simon and Garfunkel

**xxxxxxxxxx**


End file.
